Reading many posts I see there is a general feeling that people want to appeal to all or to a majority
I have a niche look, longer hair, tattoos, a beard of sorts. A look that does not appeal to all. But it is a look that appeals to me
Being honest as you can do you send messages on here based on numbers and hoping someone will reply back or because there is a genuine physical appeal
If you matched someone mentally would you be willing to maybe slightly compromise a physical appeal
Or
If you fancied the physical appeal of someone would you compromise on the mental appeal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a niche (of sorts). I don’t meet the criteria of TV which looks or intends to look like a woman. So that means I have a pretty small audience. Too fem for gays not fem looking enough for tv admirers. It is what is is.
As such I don’t message people first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I can count on both hands the number of messages I've sent so far this year.
I've no interest an mass appeal or trying to fit others preferences.
If they're interested in engaging with me based on what they see/read then that's fine.
If not? Equally fine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
Over the many years using the various sites and apps, I eventually decided to wait until contacted.
It's definitely a numbers game, but it's also far too easy to put too much time and effort into this sort of thing.
Now and again, if someone catches my eye, I might say hello. But these days, that doesn't happen often. I don't have the energy to be chasing nonstop anymore lol.
As for preferences, there isn't a specific type of person I'm looking for. But there does need to be something I find attractive, alongside some other criteria. Which could well be limiting my options, but hey. That's what preferences are all about.
I'm just not the type to meet anyone and everyone. It's not about numbers for me, it's about connections and making them either worthwhile or last a decent amount of time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Reading many posts I see there is a general feeling that people want to appeal to all or to a majority
I have a niche look, longer hair, tattoos, a beard of sorts. A look that does not appeal to all. But it is a look that appeals to me
Being honest as you can do you send messages on here based on numbers and hoping someone will reply back or because there is a genuine physical appeal
If you matched someone mentally would you be willing to maybe slightly compromise a physical appeal
Or
If you fancied the physical appeal of someone would you compromise on the mental appeal "
Everyone is niche. All of us.
I’ll be honest physical is definitely 90% of it for me.
Someone can have an amazing personality but if I don’t fancy them physically then nothing will change that. Though of course I’m still down for being friends with that person and connecting in that way.
However, if someone is attractive and has a bad personality then one of two things happens.
1. I intentionally don’t get to know them, and just keep it at no strings sex.
2. They’re so awful that I go right off them and no longer find them attractive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I haven't sent an introductory message since January 2020.
When I was messaging it was very rarely based on physical attraction because I'm not actually attracted to 2D pics on a screen.
It was usually based on something I picked up on in their bio which meant I've met people with very different looks, some of whom I gelled with and some I didn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends on the type of message. I often send messages just to be complimentary of something with no desire for a reply, the ones I send with the hope of response are tailored to those who’s wants I meet and those who fit mine, it’s not just about getting random minge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The initial message for us is to some extent a numbers game. We acknowledge we aren't for everyone, and nor is everyone for us but we will message if we like the sound of a profile and what we can see of them would appear at first glance to have a reasonable prospect of meeting our attraction threshold should things progress.
Not everyone we message is in our specific ideal niche; because if we did that we would rule out experiences that can be wonderful for fairly arbitrary reasons and because we would lose the opportunity to have our mind changed and our horizons broadened by different types of people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I need both physical and mental appeal I won't compromise.
I don't and wouldn't want to appeal to everyone we all like different things, different people, different personalities and that's what makes us unique.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman 19 weeks ago
. |
I'm not compromising on either mental or physical appeal. I have a fiancé, and a Doxy. There's no need or desire for me to do so.
If I message someone it's because I'm interested in them. What I see/read. I don't need to scattergun message.
I know that I'm not going to appeal to everyone, in fact I'd say it's the opposite. And that's what I want. I'm more than happy with those I appeal to. 🩷 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
While there needs to be an element of physical attraction, that’s greatly increased for me by a mental attraction. I can’t get all hot and bothered about someone I can acknowledge is traditionally drop dead gorgeous unless we click.
I send messages to men/couples with well written profiles where I’ve come away with a sense of their personality and it’s appealed to me. Also appealing photos - and to me that means showing we have a similar approach more so than looking at them and finding them attractive. I’m not saying that’s unimportant but it’s one of several factors for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I might be prepared to compromise on aspects of my aesthetic for a partner. The person who messaged and told me that my undyed hair was sexier can get in the sea. To quote my heroine...
“I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me.” - Elizabeth Bennet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Compromise just isn't a word that comes up for me. Attraction is more than the sum of it's parts. If I'm with someone it's because it started with attraction and led to connection.
Same with my profile. It is the way it is because I want to attract the kind of women that see that profile and want to go towards it. I don't even think about everyone else. I'm not here for them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have never wanted to appeal to all OP. I am here to meet and socialise with the people I like and who like me. Life isn’t a popularity contest for me and that makes me happy 😘"
If you are genuine in who you are, why would you not want to appeal to all? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I have never wanted to appeal to all OP. I am here to meet and socialise with the people I like and who like me. Life isn’t a popularity contest for me and that makes me happy 😘
If you are genuine in who you are, why would you not want to appeal to all?"
From my perspective it's because I'm fully aware all don't appeal to me. That's impossible.
So why should it be the same in reverse? There will always be the majority that are looking for something completely different to me, whether that's in terms of physical characteristics, personality, tastes and preferences or a combination of the lot.
We can never be all things to all people. Trying to be is pointless. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'll repeat 'ad nauseam' as I often do on these types of threads... aside from reciprocal messages between forum-dwellers on here - mostly women I'll admit - I've only sent a handful of 'first contact' messages in the last 3 years.
If/When I message it's on the back of what I glean from their profile and not the superficiality of their photos. Photos only tell half the story, if that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have never wanted to appeal to all OP. I am here to meet and socialise with the people I like and who like me. Life isn’t a popularity contest for me and that makes me happy 😘
If you are genuine in who you are, why would you not want to appeal to all?
From my perspective it's because I'm fully aware all don't appeal to me. That's impossible.
So why should it be the same in reverse? There will always be the majority that are looking for something completely different to me, whether that's in terms of physical characteristics, personality, tastes and preferences or a combination of the lot.
We can never be all things to all people. Trying to be is pointless. "
I'm glad you answered as I noticed you put something similar further up. I just couldn't understand why you wouldn't want that and then have a bigger choice of who appeals to you.
Wishful thinking I know. Maybe the Fabmin would get a bit much though  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We don’t meet on here so I can’t answer the question on messages but on compromise it’s not that straight forward. If someone’s personality is attractive they tend to look more attractive to me so I don’t see it as a compromise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The physical and mental appeal kind of morph into one overall attraction for me.
If I don't find someone attractive physically though it doesn't matter how much I like them, sex isn't going to happen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
I heard a good quote recently, “if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one”
I just accept i am not going to appeal to everyone physically and personally wise.
Aa long as i am comfortable in my own skin and be myself.
Those i want to appeal to seem to come into my life or vice versa. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
