To black men, what is your opening line that you use on here? I like to open with a compliment if there’s something I notice on their profile. If not I tend to keep it generic but direct “Are you into black men?” Or “Do you find black men attractive?”. I like to ask early so I know, I’ve had responses like “Eww no” and that triggers me haha. Since then I’ve always asked. What about you? |
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By *vaRose43Woman 10 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for |
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"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
This! |
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By *urenutsMan 10 weeks ago
waltham cross/Harrow HA1 |
"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
Valid point |
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The messages I tend to get are 'are you into black guys' or 'do you like bbc'.
I hate both opening lines and tend to fine that beyond the size of their cock they literally have nothing else to offer.
The size or colour of the cock are not what I use to judge whether I'd like to meet someone. If you can't hold a conversation then you're just not for me.
That being said I'm sorry you've had negative responses based on your skin tone, that's appealing and is not acceptable. |
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"The messages I tend to get are 'are you into black guys' or 'do you like bbc'.
I hate both opening lines and tend to fine that beyond the size of their cock they literally have nothing else to offer.
The size or colour of the cock are not what I use to judge whether I'd like to meet someone. If you can't hold a conversation then you're just not for me.
That being said I'm sorry you've had negative responses based on your skin tone, that's appealing and is not acceptable. "
Ditto..
Mrs.. |
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I just message like any other person.
I really hate when people message me like “do you like older?” “Do you like gingers?” “Do you like couples?”… it’s such a dumb question because in my head all I want to respond is “yes, but that doesn’t mean I like you”. Instead I just say nothing.
I take people on a person to person basis. I don’t like or dislike someone based solely on one attribute |
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I can understand the temptation given the awful responses you’ve had OP. But asking that kind of thing outright is a no no for me with any characteristic. As others have said, I see each person - not a younger man, a black man, a tall man. Everyone is much more than what they see as their defining characteristic. |
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By *agic.MMan 10 weeks ago
Orpington |
"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
It's not out of the ordinary for a woman to message a man on fab asking if they like curvy women (happened to me on many occasions). It's also not out of the ordinary for a man to send 10 messages to 10 different women only for half of them to reply with "sorry I'm not into Asian/Black/White/short/thin men" (even though their profile says nothing about their preference in men). If you send today 10 messages to 10 men and 5 of them will say "I'm not into curvy/bbw women" ...your approach to messaging will slightly change, where your physical appearance will be mentioned...ex. "I'm not sure you're into curvy women, but I really like your profile...". Men face a high amount of rejection on fab, and after a while you start to make changes in your approach to minimise those rejections...or you stop messaging altogether. Hope this comment doesn't come across as passive aggressive 🙏 |
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"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
Great response. Yeah I’ve received a lot of racist responses not everyone is as nice as yourself. But thanks
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
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It’s worth noting that if you ask someone a question such as “do you like black men?” It also puts that person in an awkward position.
If they say no, they’ll be seen as racist.
If they say yes, it could send signals of being interested when they aren’t.
I’m just saying that based on my experience when people ask me similar questions.
It’s a lose/lose situation no matter what the answer given is. It’s not a fair thing to ask someone |
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"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
Thanks for this, you get it completely. I never used to mention race but felt I needed to adjust. Hopefully one day I can go back to not mentioning it.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for
It's not out of the ordinary for a woman to message a man on fab asking if they like curvy women (happened to me on many occasions). It's also not out of the ordinary for a man to send 10 messages to 10 different women only for half of them to reply with "sorry I'm not into Asian/Black/White/short/thin men" (even though their profile says nothing about their preference in men). If you send today 10 messages to 10 men and 5 of them will say "I'm not into curvy/bbw women" ...your approach to messaging will slightly change, where your physical appearance will be mentioned...ex. "I'm not sure you're into curvy women, but I really like your profile...". Men face a high amount of rejection on fab, and after a while you start to make changes in your approach to minimise those rejections...or you stop messaging altogether. Hope this comment doesn't come across as passive aggressive 🙏"
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I mostly get “do you like bbc / chocolate “ “do you want a big black daddy dick “
Very rare I get normal message from a black guy not bringing up the cock aspect.
Though I safely bet they speak to women different to trans women like me on here |
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"It’s worth noting that if you ask someone a question such as “do you like black men?” It also puts that person in an awkward position.
If they say no, they’ll be seen as racist.
If they say yes, it could send signals of being interested when they aren’t.
I’m just saying that based on my experience when people ask me similar questions.
It’s a lose/lose situation no matter what the answer given is. It’s not a fair thing to ask someone "
Valid point! |
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"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
Also valid point. |
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"Surely asking "are you into black men" is perpetuating the fetishisation of race?"
Interesting. Possibly. Perhaps we try too hard to sterilise the world at times. Do you like tall men, intelligent men, short men, slim men, bald men, hung men etc... Its just a question. It's not like you can hide it. Like anything else that is written. The reader will interpret it the way they wish to. Seems pretty inoffensive to me. |
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"I just message like any other person.
I really hate when people message me like “do you like older?” “Do you like gingers?” “Do you like couples?”… it’s such a dumb question because in my head all I want to respond is “yes, but that doesn’t mean I like you”. Instead I just say nothing.
I take people on a person to person basis. I don’t like or dislike someone based solely on one attribute "
Well said, I have ginger hair and I'd hate to be reduced to that guy with ginger hair. I'm more than that. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
The issue with asking a closed question of 'do you like x,y or z' , whether it's skin colour, height, age or dick size, is that you're reducing yourself to that specific attribute and not selling yourself as an entire human being with an individual personality.
You're just another black/bald/tall/VWE or whatever person.
Very few people have such tunnel visioned preferences that they'll only focus on one or two physical traits. Most prefer to look at the whole picture.
So leading with an opening message focused on something purely physical comes across as lazy to some, crass to others and unnecessary to many.
It also invites an immediate get out of jail free response of 'I don't like......' or 'I'm not into....' based on whatever specific thing you've mentioned, without them knowing anything more about you.
Why not just introduce yourself as a person and give an insight to your personality?
You might be surprised as to the change in responses you get. 🤷♂️ |
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"The issue with asking a closed question of 'do you like x,y or z' , whether it's skin colour, height, age or dick size, is that you're reducing yourself to that specific attribute and not selling yourself as an entire human being with an individual personality.
You're just another black/bald/tall/VWE or whatever person.
Very few people have such tunnel visioned preferences that they'll only focus on one or two physical traits. Most prefer to look at the whole picture.
So leading with an opening message focused on something purely physical comes across as lazy to some, crass to others and unnecessary to many.
It also invites an immediate get out of jail free response of 'I don't like......' or 'I'm not into....' based on whatever specific thing you've mentioned, without them knowing anything more about you.
Why not just introduce yourself as a person and give an insight to your personality?
You might be surprised as to the change in responses you get. 🤷♂️"
Meh..some big assumptions being made. I take the valid point about closed questions. But The implication that people reduce someone to the one question they ask is an assumption at best. Do you like me? Does not in anyway imply others are not liked simply because I haven't added them to the discourse. Do you like tall people doesn't mean anything other than do you like tall people. You might very well also like short, average people too. |
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"I just message like any other person.
I really hate when people message me like “do you like older?” “Do you like gingers?” “Do you like couples?”… it’s such a dumb question because in my head all I want to respond is “yes, but that doesn’t mean I like you”. Instead I just say nothing.
I take people on a person to person basis. I don’t like or dislike someone based solely on one attribute
Well said, I have ginger hair and I'd hate to be reduced to that guy with ginger hair. I'm more than that. "
Much more than that 👀 🍑 |
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Only people that lack self love and suffering from intellectual redundancy would think to say “ewww no” to someone due to the colour of their skin this has also happened to me as well but I didn’t let it get to me because I know I’m a bad bitch and can get anyone I want without even trying too hard. I only go for someone based on their personality and not race, looks or dicksize etc hence why I attend social events to meet people in person and form chemistry (sexual or not) because online dating can be sketchy, you don’t need to ask someone if they were into black guys just be urself and it’s up to them to make their decision  |
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By *vaRose43Woman 10 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for
It's not out of the ordinary for a woman to message a man on fab asking if they like curvy women (happened to me on many occasions). It's also not out of the ordinary for a man to send 10 messages to 10 different women only for half of them to reply with "sorry I'm not into Asian/Black/White/short/thin men" (even though their profile says nothing about their preference in men). If you send today 10 messages to 10 men and 5 of them will say "I'm not into curvy/bbw women" ...your approach to messaging will slightly change, where your physical appearance will be mentioned...ex. "I'm not sure you're into curvy women, but I really like your profile...". Men face a high amount of rejection on fab, and after a while you start to make changes in your approach to minimise those rejections...or you stop messaging altogether. Hope this comment doesn't come across as passive aggressive 🙏"
Not at all, and there is definitely fault on both sides of the coin here. |
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"I’ll be honest I detest messages that ask “do I like black men” (insert any other race, hair colour, appendage size here too).
You have public pics, I can see what you look like…. If I’m engaging in a conversation with you I would hope you have more to bring to the table than your skin colour.
I just don’t like reducing someone down to something like a single physical attribute. I’d never message someone asking if they like ladies with a fat arse or women with brown hair…. I’m more than an arse or a hair colour.
Sorry it’s probably not the answer you were looking for"
Couldn't agree more with this  |
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It's all about filtering. I think asking if someone is into black men when they can clearly see you are on your pic is a wasted messege.
I Tey to be as impartial as possible on my first message. Not too long but covers something I like, a response to something they mentioned in their profile and I always add a face pic
Filter out the filler stuff like "how are you", "do you like black men?" or "what's your type?" |
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It's USP thing innit. A friend in the UK told me recently finds it annoying when she's gets asked if she likes Irish guys.
Big dick, race, nationality. Guys looking looking for an angle that works and trying to reduce to as few words as possible. |
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"The messages I tend to get are 'are you into black guys' or 'do you like bbc'.
I hate both opening lines and tend to fine that beyond the size of their cock they literally have nothing else to offer.
The size or colour of the cock are not what I use to judge whether I'd like to meet someone. If you can't hold a conversation then you're just not for me.
That being said I'm sorry you've had negative responses based on your skin tone, that's appealing and is not acceptable. "
Have just seen my auto correct mistake!! Appalling not appealing  |
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I’m sorry to hear you’ve had some horrible responses OP. As others have said, if you have a profile pic and/or public pics available, they can see what you look like and if they are interested they’ll message back. I don’t think there’s any need to mention that you’re black. We are so much more than our skin colour, height, weight, boob size, cock size etc. Just having one quality/attribute that a person may or may not like doesn’t mean that they will still be interested either. |
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By *rispyDuckMan 10 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Different opening messages for different profiles.
Don’t tend to message new people that often when I do it’s usually a compliment to something fun, creative or impressive I liked on their profile 😉 |
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