FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab and trust...
Fab and trust...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
Catching up on a few threads this morning and the word trust kept appearing.
Is trust important to you on Fab? Whether it's trusting another or them having trust in you.
Once it's broken, is it something you think you can get back? Want to get back?
And a bonus question... are you trustworthy? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
The appropriate level of trust for internet strangers is approximately none. I don't need to trust anyone on here in any significant way.
There's no point to me in engaging with someone who is deceitful for casual sex though. The necessary compatibility levels are low. If they don't think they can meet them without lying (or are just habitually deceitful) there's no point.
I'm very honest. But don't expect anyone to assume that xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I need to trust that they'll turn up looking approximately like their photos and will treat me respectfully. If that level of trust is broken I can't be waiting around to see if it can be regained.
I can be trusted that far too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aven.Woman 10 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
Do I trust what they say? No
Do I trust if they are single/married? No
But do I care? Not really. I trust them enough to believe they won't slaughter me in a hotel room. Thats enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think being on Fab puts you in a vulnerable position due to society's (bullshit) opinions on sex, and also because we are making ourselves sexually open and therefore exposed. So, if I'm going to show my face to someone on here I need to trust them with the knowledge that I'm on a swingers' site, and also with a knowledge of my sexuality (tastes, desires) that I wouldn't share openly with most people. And then if we were to meet, especially if it were for sex, I'd have to trust them enough to let myself go with them.
There are also other trust issues - I have to believe them if they assure me they only practice safe sex for example.
In the above instances I'm not sure all of them are fixable once broken. I suppose if someone was flakey with me but tried to do better I could forgive that and potentially trust them again. But I think the rest would be difficult.
Am I trustworthy? I hope so. I would never expose people for being on here, certainly, or lie about safe sex for example. And I don't judge people's tastes and desires even if I don't share them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We trust no one except each other.
We expect our meets to be honest, discrete, reliable and fun but are quite good now at thrifting out the fakers & dreamers. They give themselves away quite quickly... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
I have friends on here I've known for decades. I trust them quite a lot. But the trust has been built in real life. Some I know through work or whatever. But the ones I originally found online I didn't even meet without a phonecall first xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"The appropriate level of trust for internet strangers is approximately none. I don't need to trust anyone on here in any significant way. "
Would that be different with ongoing dynamics? From here? The forums are different in my mind.
"There's no point to me in engaging with someone who is deceitful for casual sex though. The necessary compatibility levels are low. If they don't think they can meet them without lying (or are just habitually deceitful) there's no point.
I'm very honest. But don't expect anyone to assume that xx"
That makes a lot of sense. You're fundamentally not compatible and so there's little point in entertaining it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is trust important to you on Fab? Whether it's trusting another or them having trust in you."
We're all taking a bit of a risk when we initially meet anyone here, otherwise it simply wouldn't happen and we'd all be at home watching TV instead. We all choose to trust that a person isn't going to out us on social media, will treat us with basic decency etc
I tend to invest a lot into something if I find it, as desire develops slowly as I get to know someone. Building trust is a massive part of that process.
"Once it's broken, is it something you think you can get back? Want to get back?"
I've learned to override my naturally forgiving nature. "Mug" wasn’t a good look 
"And a bonus question... are you trustworthy?"
I try to be! I don't demand things of others that I'm not also willing to give, including trust.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"I need to trust that they'll turn up looking approximately like their photos and will treat me respectfully. If that level of trust is broken I can't be waiting around to see if it can be regained.
I can be trusted that far too. "
Would there be more trust needed if you were to meet someone more than once? Friendships from here? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm trustworthy in as much as I say what I mean and mean what I say ( not in a ' I tell it as it is way')
And on here, I only require surface level trust- I'm not baring my soul or my secrets along with my tits |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interesting …. Threads so far
Trust is very powerful and giving 100% trust on fab and with in fab - I think is fundamentally important
Usually a meet or a couple of meets are founded on trust and mutual respect and understanding
So OP trust, being disciplined discrete, and playing by the house rules in my view is essential
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to trust that they'll turn up looking approximately like their photos and will treat me respectfully. If that level of trust is broken I can't be waiting around to see if it can be regained.
I can be trusted that far too.
Would there be more trust needed if you were to meet someone more than once? Friendships from here? "
Probably. I think that you trust in accordance with expectations anyway. I expect more from friends than acquaintances and as time goes along I learn how far I can trust people for different things. Would I trust a fab friend to feed my cat when I'm away? Probably not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"
Do I trust what they say? No
Do I trust if they are single/married? No
But do I care? Not really. I trust them enough to believe they won't slaughter me in a hotel room. Thats enough."
So the bar is rather low for you (I'm teasing Raven). Do you not have to trust someone enough from Fab that they'll show up when they say they will? Or that their desire for you is real? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aven.Woman 10 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"
Do I trust what they say? No
Do I trust if they are single/married? No
But do I care? Not really. I trust them enough to believe they won't slaughter me in a hotel room. Thats enough.
So the bar is rather low for you (I'm teasing Raven). Do you not have to trust someone enough from Fab that they'll show up when they say they will? Or that their desire for you is real?"
Oh so low. I've had people cancel but not just not turn up, I don't put a lot into it until they are in front of me anyway.
Desire for me? Haha, men desire sex. Who with is generally not an issue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Before I ask myself if I trust someone else (online or offline) I ask myself do I trust myself? No point exercising poor judgement and decision making then attributing those to the other person when the fault lies at home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"I think being on Fab puts you in a vulnerable position due to society's (bullshit) opinions on sex, and also because we are making ourselves sexually open and therefore exposed. So, if I'm going to show my face to someone on here I need to trust them with the knowledge that I'm on a swingers' site, and also with a knowledge of my sexuality (tastes, desires) that I wouldn't share openly with most people. And then if we were to meet, especially if it were for sex, I'd have to trust them enough to let myself go with them.
There are also other trust issues - I have to believe them if they assure me they only practice safe sex for example.
"
Ah I'd not thought about that! Yes, I suppose there's an element of trust that someone isn't going to shout from the rooftops about your antics. And letting go is interesting... you have to trust that it's a safe space to do so. To be as kinky/vanilla as you might want to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"We trust no one except each other.
We expect our meets to be honest, discrete, reliable and fun but are quite good now at thrifting out the fakers & dreamers. They give themselves away quite quickly..."
So honesty and trust in them being honest doesn't go hand in hand?
I think there are varying levels of trust but you must trust others to some extent or else... you wouldn't meet them. I'd hope not, anyway. :D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think trust is important here due to the fact no one knows exactly what another is like as a person beside what has been told 😘
Trust in the fact the other person is safe.
Trust in the other person being who they say they are.
Trust that the other person will arrive at arranged time of meet.
Trust that the person appears how portrayed.
Beside that I’d say I’m very trust worthy but that’s my opinion and the proof is only in the pudding as they say 😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
"The appropriate level of trust for internet strangers is approximately none. I don't need to trust anyone on here in any significant way.
Would that be different with ongoing dynamics? From here? The forums are different in my mind."
Oh yes "ongoing dynamic" people it's totally different with. Some are real life close friends now. Some I played with, some I didn't, some I might... They've met my parents, walked the dogs for me, all kinds of different trusting scenarios.
But I learnt back in the days of my MySpace sex and food blog that online is always different for me. (Those restaurant reviews lead to some awesome dates tho... Only time I've had a casual blind date turn up with home made vegan cookies. Or in a helicopter  ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"We're all taking a bit of a risk when we initially meet anyone here, otherwise it simply wouldn't happen and we'd all be at home watching TV instead. We all choose to trust that a person isn't going to out us on social media, will treat us with basic decency etc
I tend to invest a lot into something if I find it, as desire develops slowly as I get to know someone. Building trust is a massive part of that process. "
Yes it is. Do you think you can trust someone on here if they're already in a relationship? Would that factor in? Would it be the same level of trust?
"Once it's broken, is it something you think you can get back? Want to get back?
I've learned to override my naturally forgiving nature. "Mug" wasn’t a good look "
No, it's really not at all. 😁 I'm happy you have!
"And a bonus question... are you trustworthy?
I try to be! I don't demand things of others that I'm not also willing to give, including trust.
"
That's a good point, being willing to give something that you'd like in return. Do you "demand" it more in sexual dynamics from here given the nature of them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"I'm trustworthy in as much as I say what I mean and mean what I say ( not in a ' I tell it as it is way')
And on here, I only require surface level trust- I'm not baring my soul or my secrets along with my tits"
I'm glad it's not a tell it as it is way. :D Saying what you mean and meaning it is important. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
Yes believe or not I am trust worthy as be honest and up front about my situation, also a couple said they would verify me without a meet, but I rejected that offer due to wanting to be honest and do all this fair and square |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I will always tell the truth, even if it's ugly. I don't see the point in lying, it hurts more.
Without truth then there can't be trust, the two go hand in hand.
Am I trustworthy? I like to think so, taz and I have quite a deep relationship and the things we do are trust based especially the kink aspect of our relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
You can gain or give trust back. Sure, people change.
I know people who were proper assholes that learned lessons, sometimes the hard way or they just grew up. 
It’s like that ‘then without sun cast the first stone!’ Thing in here sometimes. Those that appear whiter than white rarely are. 😏
I broke someone’s trust, and if they don’t trust me now, it’s there loss, as I’m a greater person than I ever was and that time I was a cunt changed me for the better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"Interesting …. Threads so far
Trust is very powerful and giving 100% trust on fab and with in fab - I think is fundamentally important
Usually a meet or a couple of meets are founded on trust and mutual respect and understanding
So OP trust, being disciplined discrete, and playing by the house rules in my view is essential
"
I don't think I could ever give or expect 100% trust from someone. Not the first time I meet them. It's something that grows and even then it might never reach 100%. There are various levels of trust.
Mutual respect and a shared understanding? That's really important - a one off dalliance or something more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
" But Desire for me? Haha, men desire sex. Who with is generally not an issue. "
I don't know if I fully agree with that. Men don't just desire sex in my mind. Some do, sure, but other times who with is a factor. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Do I trust everything I read on a screen or that an Internet stranger tells me? Hell no.
It's why I'm generally averse to random hook ups from here and usually only meet via socials, events and clubs where I can spend more time talking to people and building a better picture of them.
Even then, I keep an open mind. I've come a cropper on more than one occasion over the years when people have said what I wanted to hear, and portrayed themselves as trustworthy only to discover later that they were just words. Some people truly deserve Oscars.
Even some that appear as nice as pie in virtual form online are the same ones that will be private conversations, and spreading gossip and Chinese whispers offsite and in private.
Trust is an easy word to type and speak. In reality the moment you have doubts about someone it's unlikely to ever be 100% there again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think you can trust someone on here if they're already in a relationship? Would that factor in? Would it be the same level of trust?"
The biggest deceptions I've encountered on here have been from single people, with catastrophic consequences in one particular case. If I was looking for a committed relationship, their own relationship status would most definitely be a factor.
The level of trust I require for what I want from here doesn't go that far. Of course, there is always going to be the niggle that a person can choose to be deceptive with me if they can so easily deceive their partner. I'm open about what I want and how I go about it. I don't require exclusivity. I sort of trust that my transparency makes it easier for a sex partner to reciprocate in return. It's a case of evaluating each situation/person individually. If something feels off I step away.
"That's a good point, being willing to give something that you'd like in return. Do you "demand" it more in sexual dynamics from here given the nature of them?"
It needs to feel balanced or it doesn't work. Is that a demand? I'm not sure. I just know what my boundaries are and if someone isn't respectful of them I'll end it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How much trust are you willing to give when meeting? It’s funny but I was much more trusting (naive?) when I started out on Fab whereas now I feel like I have become so cautious that I probably won’t ever meet anyone from here ever again which is a bit mad isn’t it! Fab has changed over the years and it doesn’t feel as simple or as honest as it used to be but maybe that’s just because it’s so darned difficult to get anything going on here once you hit your golden years 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Always a element of risk meeting or arranging to meet others from here and so a certain level of trust is needed but anyone can be anyone they want on here and on the internet ?? and we did pride ourselves on being trust worthy in that we were what we said we were( even looked like the piccies) and were fairly honest aswell but we did notice a rise in the levels of people just saying just about anything and even in most cases cases totally 100% contradicting their "Updates" ? so trust is pretty low on some people's radar or even building some level of trust ?? and we tend like most now have the attitude prove you aren't a ?? as life is way to short to hsng around with ...xxx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"Before I ask myself if I trust someone else (online or offline) I ask myself do I trust myself? No point exercising poor judgement and decision making then attributing those to the other person when the fault lies at home. "
Ah yes! I'm a firm believer of the whole shadow work concept. I've seen far too oft people disliking certain traits with a lack of awareness of their own possession of it. Their behaviour.
I think it's far easier to attribute fault with another than accepting our own shortcomings played a part. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I trust I will leave in the same condition i arrived in
I trust they haven't lied about their SH testing
And if someone does lie to you, you find out... can you rebuild that trust? "
No not in the same way but there is a different dynamic to seeing a lover after that first betrayal, one where you acknowledge the need for them and the longing for their desire for you….it can be profoundly life affirming and desperately romantic ❤️🔥 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"I will always tell the truth, even if it's ugly. I don't see the point in lying, it hurts more.
Without truth then there can't be trust, the two go hand in hand.
Am I trustworthy? I like to think so, taz and I have quite a deep relationship and the things we do are trust based especially the kink aspect of our relationship "
So would you be able to trust people who are meeting without their partner's knowledge? Or is it only truth in terms of your interactions with them?
Yes, trust and kink go hand in hand, well when it goes to a deeper level definitely. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"You can gain or give trust back. Sure, people change.
I know people who were proper assholes that learned lessons, sometimes the hard way or they just grew up.
It’s like that ‘then without sun cast the first stone!’ Thing in here sometimes. Those that appear whiter than white rarely are. 😏
I broke someone’s trust, and if they don’t trust me now, it’s there loss, as I’m a greater person than I ever was and that time I was a cunt changed me for the better. "
I don't think it's their loss as such. If you've hurt someone, broken that trust and they decide they want nothing to do with you... both of you aren't missing out/losing on anything. You can learn from that experience and decide not to repeat it (as I did before and it's still an isolated incident five years ago).
People do change though and that's important. Sometimes I think people see themselves as capable of change but fail to realise that... others can change too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is something that has been rolling around in my head for a while, in terms of how do we trust people, what are the markers for it and how deceptive some people can be.
I think that I am trusting, simply because I don’t want to be a person that has no faith in others. There is usually a * attached with people that I don’t know and haven’t got actual evidence of their trustworthiness though.
Am I trustworthy? I think that’s something that others would have to say. It’s easy to just answer yes, all of the liars would say that. I think that trust is a thing that only others can vouch for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Absolutely important here, if I don’t feel trust in someone how can I ever get intimate with them and ensure we both remain safe and our boundaries won’t be crossed?
Once trust is broken for me, I don’t think I can get past that and my barrier remains 22 foot high. Unfortunately experienced arrangements recently where I feel the trust isn’t there anymore and that makes it hard to want to open the door to new people.
I believe I am trustworthy but other people might think differently, everyone has a different perspective of each other from watching their interactions and how they communicate with each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We trust no one except each other.
We expect our meets to be honest, discrete, reliable and fun but are quite good now at thrifting out the fakers & dreamers. They give themselves away quite quickly...
So honesty and trust in them being honest doesn't go hand in hand?
I think there are varying levels of trust but you must trust others to some extent or else... you wouldn't meet them. I'd hope not, anyway. :D"
Honesty implies both truth-telling and responsible behavior that seeks to abide by the rules. One may trust another person to behave honestly, but honesty is not identical to trustworthiness. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"Do I trust everything I read on a screen or that an Internet stranger tells me? Hell no.
It's why I'm generally averse to random hook ups from here and usually only meet via socials, events and clubs where I can spend more time talking to people and building a better picture of them.
Even then, I keep an open mind. I've come a cropper on more than one occasion over the years when people have said what I wanted to hear, and portrayed themselves as trustworthy only to discover later that they were just words. Some people truly deserve Oscars.
Even some that appear as nice as pie in virtual form online are the same ones that will be private conversations, and spreading gossip and Chinese whispers offsite and in private.
Trust is an easy word to type and speak. In reality the moment you have doubts about someone it's unlikely to ever be 100% there again. "
That's very true. A close friend said to me recently that once trust is gone, it's not able to be rebuilt. For me, it can be but perhaps not to the extent it once was. Depending on what it is I either accept it's happened but remain a tad cautious, end things or try and forget.
The nice as pie thing... everyone has different experiences with a person. Their behaviour towards me is the main thing I consider. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"How much trust are you willing to give when meeting? It’s funny but I was much more trusting (naive?) when I started out on Fab whereas now I feel like I have become so cautious that I probably won’t ever meet anyone from here ever again which is a bit mad isn’t it! Fab has changed over the years and it doesn’t feel as simple or as honest as it used to be but maybe that’s just because it’s so darned difficult to get anything going on here once you hit your golden years 😂"
That caution might be slipping in to cynicism. There's a line isn't there? Quite a fine one.
You shouldn't lose hope because you're in your golden years.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How much trust are you willing to give when meeting? It’s funny but I was much more trusting (naive?) when I started out on Fab whereas now I feel like I have become so cautious that I probably won’t ever meet anyone from here ever again which is a bit mad isn’t it! Fab has changed over the years and it doesn’t feel as simple or as honest as it used to be but maybe that’s just because it’s so darned difficult to get anything going on here once you hit your golden years 😂
That caution might be slipping in to cynicism. There's a line isn't there? Quite a fine one.
You shouldn't lose hope because you're in your golden years. "
It’s definitely a fine line at the moment but I’ll try to stay on the wrong side of the tracks 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
"You can gain or give trust back. Sure, people change.
I know people who were proper assholes that learned lessons, sometimes the hard way or they just grew up.
It’s like that ‘then without sun cast the first stone!’ Thing in here sometimes. Those that appear whiter than white rarely are. 😏
I broke someone’s trust, and if they don’t trust me now, it’s there loss, as I’m a greater person than I ever was and that time I was a cunt changed me for the better.
I don't think it's their loss as such. If you've hurt someone, broken that trust and they decide they want nothing to do with you... both of you aren't missing out/losing on anything. You can learn from that experience and decide not to repeat it (as I did before and it's still an isolated incident five years ago).
People do change though and that's important. Sometimes I think people see themselves as capable of change but fail to realise that... others can change too. "
I’m being very specific about one experience, and our relationship/friendship realy suffered because of there actions and not so much mine afterwards. Words and actions are very different.
People can trust you when you are trustworthy. It’s that simple.
As I said, it’s their loss, people can become stronger together when you finally are on the same page, and sometimes getting there can take a while.
Would you break something wonderful to build it again and make it ‘perfect’? - I think that’s a line from a song or something… and yes, I’d take that chance to have something beautiful and perfect again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 10 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Trust is a scalable commodity on here.
Do we trust the general fab population? Only a little. Which is why most of us hide behind usernames, incorrect ages, details and blurred out photos.
On the forums? I think most of us are selective about what information we entrust to others.
That level of trust increases if you agree to meet someone socially. We trust they will show up, look like their photos and act like an adult.
That level of trust goes up again if we decide to get intimate with them. Certain sex acts (like anal) require another level of trust. It gpes up again if you are inviting someone into your home. This (should) further increase if there are certain kinks involved, especially with restraint and breath play.
All this is on top of overcoming the baseline fear that someone could try and doxx you on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"This is something that has been rolling around in my head for a while, in terms of how do we trust people, what are the markers for it and how deceptive some people can be.
I think that I am trusting, simply because I don’t want to be a person that has no faith in others. There is usually a * attached with people that I don’t know and haven’t got actual evidence of their trustworthiness though.
Am I trustworthy? I think that’s something that others would have to say. It’s easy to just answer yes, all of the liars would say that. I think that trust is a thing that only others can vouch for"
Yep, some recent discussions (and a storyline) have made me think about trust. What it means. How it's applied on here.
I don't want to lose trust in people, as a whole. It's not pleasant and can result in potential joy being missed out on.
I think most people would like to think they are trustworthy. I respect those who can own they've been a bit of a twunt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
"Absolutely important here, if I don’t feel trust in someone how can I ever get intimate with them and ensure we both remain safe and our boundaries won’t be crossed? "
I get that. I've lost interest in people I've met before when my trust has gone. I no longer feel safe around them. Can trust what they say.
"Once trust is broken for me, I don’t think I can get past that and my barrier remains 22 foot high. Unfortunately experienced arrangements recently where I feel the trust isn’t there anymore and that makes it hard to want to open the door to new people. "
I'm sorry to read that LB, it sounds really rather crap. I hope when you're ready to you're able to open that door to new people. One person's poor behaviour doesn't mean others will do the same.
"I believe I am trustworthy but other people might think differently, everyone has a different perspective of each other from watching their interactions and how they communicate with each other. "
Exactly that. It's such a subjective, personal thing. I had a friend share some quite personal information about me to someone they trust. I wasn't happy because I don't know this person. That trust isn't there. I did understand it was for them though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find the concept of trust quite fluid on here, it builds up, establishes itself and erodes over time, like the ebb and flow of an estuary. For me when trust is established on here it's usually reinforced by meeting and knowing those people in real life, over time. Then it becomes immutable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 10 weeks ago
. |
I don't think lying about age is a trust thing for the majority of Fab users. It's because they think they can get away with it, want to get around filters and don't mind little lies. A year or so out? Yes, I can understand that. 3+? It's more to do with what they can get from it, rather than what they don't want others to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Trust is very important to me in general.
My ability to have it has been somewhat rocked lately, but I'm holding in there. I may be a little more spiky and suspicious for a while, but I'm not writing the world off entirely just because of one exceptionally shitty person.
I think I'm trustworthy. But then don't they all say that?
I know I do the best to tell the truth. Honesty and clarity really do matter to me. I may hold things back to protect other people, but withholding information that other people need to be able to make an informed decision is not something my brain will settle with 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
