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Is it ever okay to cheat
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Following on from another post on swinging not being cheating my question is:
Is it ever okay to cheat?
Not just on a partner but in life in general
Would you cheat to get what you want, such as an exam result or a competition?
Some people cheat, not just on people but in life in general, is there ever a justified reason to do so?
Why is there levels to cheating?
That some maybe deemed as acceptable and others as not |
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To me, no.
I get it. Sometimes you have to do things to survive and protect dependants and other. If someone really feels justified in their need to do that, that's on them. It's not a decision I think I'd make, but I'm not in their situation to know for sure.
I'm not decrying them as terrible awful people. Just people that I personally don't want to be involved with. And I should be allowed to make informed decisions about who and what I get involved with 💜 |
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Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers |
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I am not just talking about people on people.
I am talking about the levels of it
Maybe looking at someone else’s test paper or anything holds lesser discord to many than cheating on a partner.
But cheating is cheating?
Also like theft. Take a pen home from work or some a4 printer paper that has been purchased by your company is theft. So is breaking in to someone’s house.
However we seem to have acceptable levels and unacceptable |
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"I am not just talking about people on people.
I am talking about the levels of it
Maybe looking at someone else’s test paper or anything holds lesser discord to many than cheating on a partner.
But cheating is cheating?
Also like theft. Take a pen home from work or some a4 printer paper that has been purchased by your company is theft. So is breaking in to someone’s house.
However we seem to have acceptable levels and unacceptable "
I agree we do have acceptable levels of cheating. My mum used to say that stealing a drawing pin was as bad as stealing a million pounds be because the intent was the same. I tend to think life is more nuanced than that. I would blame a person who was broke and starving less for stealing food than a well fed person who could afford to pay.
Cheating at exams, sport etc I'm less inclined to see reasons as acceptable |
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Yes, when I was a teenager I put some of my personal possessions as well as practical things (in essence I stole them from my father). So that when I left I had things to survive. I had to get solicitor letter to get my school books from him, that is what I was dealing with. I lied so much in that time period it is mind boggling. People who judge harshly and presume it's all about just "getting a leg over" really have no clue about the realities of abusive relationships. |
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"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers"
I wouldn't class that as cheating tbh.
Cheating is a partner who is in a relationship with someone else be they married or long term, maybe have kid's and financial commitments and yet they still feel the need to play away.
I don't buy this "sexless" relationship bollocks if you love someone then talk and communicate if you are so unhappy and sex is more important than everything else that you feel the need to cheat then as someone else said, leave.
Same thing regarding everything else,I don't cheat or lie I don't do dishonesty.
I'm not without my flaws god knows I'm probably as far from being perfect as you can get but my biggest rule in life is honesty . |
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"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers
I wouldn't class that as cheating tbh.
Cheating is a partner who is in a relationship with someone else be they married or long term, maybe have kid's and financial commitments and yet they still feel the need to play away.
I don't buy this "sexless" relationship bollocks if you love someone then talk and communicate if you are so unhappy and sex is more important than everything else that you feel the need to cheat then as someone else said, leave.
Same thing regarding everything else,I don't cheat or lie I don't do dishonesty.
I'm not without my flaws god knows I'm probably as far from being perfect as you can get but my biggest rule in life is honesty ."
I wouldn't but he didn't know and she couldn't ask him if he was ok with it. Many people on here would say it was cheating.
I only learnt in my twenties that it was ok to lie to protect yourself. |
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"Yes, when I was a teenager I put some of my personal possessions as well as practical things (in essence I stole them from my father). So that when I left I had things to survive. I had to get solicitor letter to get my school books from him, that is what I was dealing with. I lied so much in that time period it is mind boggling. People who judge harshly and presume it's all about just "getting a leg over" really have no clue about the realities of abusive relationships. "
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Bit of a catch 22 , morally it’s wrong and you’d hope any issues would be resolved within the relationship, however other people may feel if I’m not getting fed at home I’ll go out and eat
Literally depends on the persons and circumstance |
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"Yes, when I was a teenager I put some of my personal possessions as well as practical things (in essence I stole them from my father). So that when I left I had things to survive. I had to get solicitor letter to get my school books from him, that is what I was dealing with. I lied so much in that time period it is mind boggling. People who judge harshly and presume it's all about just "getting a leg over" really have no clue about the realities of abusive relationships.
"
People cheating because of an abusive relationship whilst it's horrible for them probably make up a reasonably small percentage, against people who are playing away simply because they can and the many who want their cake and eat it.
Also someone seeking friendship and comfort in the arms of another to get away from an abuser is really not cheating.
Cheating is someone who has all they need and still not happy because they are selfish and greedy.
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I once slept with a girl who was in an abusive relationship. She was terrified of her partner, and they had a kid.
She cried when we were together because she was not used to being treated with kindness.
They divorced not long after, and I'd like to think I maybe gave her the final nudge out the door.
I'll be judged for what I did objectively, but I know I had a very positive impact on her life.
And it terrifies me what goes on behind closed doors; even with very strong women like herself
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"Yes, when I was a teenager I put some of my personal possessions as well as practical things (in essence I stole them from my father). So that when I left I had things to survive. I had to get solicitor letter to get my school books from him, that is what I was dealing with. I lied so much in that time period it is mind boggling. People who judge harshly and presume it's all about just "getting a leg over" really have no clue about the realities of abusive relationships.
People cheating because of an abusive relationship whilst it's horrible for them probably make up a reasonably small percentage, against people who are playing away simply because they can and the many who want their cake and eat it.
Also someone seeking friendship and comfort in the arms of another to get away from an abuser is really not cheating.
Cheating is someone who has all they need and still not happy because they are selfish and greedy.
"
I kind of think it will depend on perspective. I'm sure my father would think what I did was completely and utterly wrong and was selfish and greedy. I think the subject of cheating is a very emotive subject and people presume it's about romantic partners, that few I find can look at it objectively. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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No, but, I have gf, knows about Cassandra, approves, also knows my lifestyle before I met her 11 months ago, basically turns blind eye to this side of my life, as long as I keep it to myself,   |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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Extremely rarely. I (mr) was chatting to a lady on a different app, a few years ago and her husband had been in a car crash many years before. He was essentially reduced to a six year old as a result of his injuries. This is the only example I've encountered where it was justified. I didn't meet her btw, wasn't my type, but I would have, if she was, without a problem. |
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By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
South Wales |
I’m very black and white when it comes to relationships and cheating.
People don’t realise (or maybe they do and just don’t care) how much a cheating partner destroys a part of you.
Not just your trust, but it kills your innocent wide eyed belief in what it is to be in love and to be loved. It knocks your confidence. Changes the way you look at people. Leaves a lasting legacy that haunts future relationships. Makes you question you and who you are as a person. When in reality it is probably nothing to do with you but everything to do with a wandering eye and an opportunistic nature.
Sure you can have counselling to try and work through these issues, but it’s unfair. Why should someone who was an innocent party have to do that much work on themselves because someone else thoughtlessly and selfishly hurt them.
And for what? An ego boost and a shag.Gah! Makes me cross!!! Just split up and find someone else - don’t cheat!
As for everything else, I realise life it’s not so black and white. That said, I’d hope people would go about their daily business without deliberately setting out to hurt others.
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By *vaRose43Woman 19 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"Yes, when I was a teenager I put some of my personal possessions as well as practical things (in essence I stole them from my father). So that when I left I had things to survive. I had to get solicitor letter to get my school books from him, that is what I was dealing with. I lied so much in that time period it is mind boggling. People who judge harshly and presume it's all about just "getting a leg over" really have no clue about the realities of abusive relationships. "
I was going to reply with something similar, but you’ve put it much more succinctly than I could.
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By *agic.MMan 19 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Following on from another post on swinging not being cheating my question is:
Is it ever okay to cheat?
Not just on a partner but in life in general
Would you cheat to get what you want, such as an exam result or a competition?
Some people cheat, not just on people but in life in general, is there ever a justified reason to do so?
Why is there levels to cheating?
That some maybe deemed as acceptable and others as not "
There are levels of cheating because most people don't have a clear definition of cheating and they incorporate various forms of dishonesty or lying in it...actually it goes even beyond that - upholding information might also be considered cheating by some people. Now I wonder if parents lying to their kids about Santa Clause is a form of cheating- you are deliberately lying to the kids, cheating them from the truth, not to protect them from a horrible truth, but just to preserve some tradition...  |
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"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers"
Completely disagree. Just because someone is ill, it's not an excuse to drop onto a cock 🤷♂️ |
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"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers
Completely disagree. Just because someone is ill, it's not an excuse to drop onto a cock 🤷♂️"
Yeah quite a few people disagree with it.
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I think it's more important to make the rules for yourself than to judge othersz when you will never truly know how it is for them.
And cheating at a game you're playing as a familyz for example, when nobody can be trusted not to cheat, can be just part of silly game playing/mucking about, for example. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers"
Well said |
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By *essTTWoman 19 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Yes, it is.
I have mentioned this before.
We know of a woman who cared for her husband for many years. He had dementia and unable to do anything for himself. He didn't know her or recognise her as his wife. On the odd occasion he was in respite she had a guy visit. I can't find it in myself to blame her. People expect saintly behaviours from human carers"
Difficult situation for her to be in but it's still cheating although, I doubt anyone (including myself) would blame her for doing this |
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On the whole I’m ok with it because I’m pretty relaxed about most stuff in life. Which is ironic because if a partner cheated on me I’d be hurt and sad I wasn’t enough. I have never cheated on a partner but I wouldn’t be against seeing a woman who is cheating on her partner.
Generally speaking in life I tend to think get away with whatever you can. Do I speed a bit in my car? Yup. If the vending machine gives me two double deckers will I tell someone. Nope.
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