FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A real woman
A real woman
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So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs |
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This whole thing saddens me. I notice that one of two people call it out now though.
My friend and her daughter wear tee shirts that say 'bigger women give better hugs'. Imagine if someone wore one saying the same about slim women! Why do people need to claim they're better because of how they look? This same woman thought it was ok to call me a 'skinny cow'. 🤷.
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"I prefer real women over the ones in my imagination. "
Ah, but do you get past first base with the ones in your imagination? (sniggers - my international school upbringing is showing through in that comment)  |
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"I prefer real women over the ones in my imagination.
Ah, but do you get past first base with the ones in your imagination? (sniggers - my international school upbringing is showing through in that comment) "
Nah, they usually let me down and not turn up. The buggers. |
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If there's one thing I really can't get on board with it's the way people try to pay a compliment by dragging other people down.
When I was heavier it was the so much better than those awful twig women, real women have curves. When I lost weight it was more so much more attractive than all those overweight cows.
Why does appreciating one thing mean you have to say the other things are inferior?
Just tell me I'm pretty. Don't tell me other people aren't 💜 |
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"If there's one thing I really can't get on board with it's the way people try to pay a compliment by dragging other people down.
When I was heavier it was the so much better than those awful twig women, real women have curves. When I lost weight it was more so much more attractive than all those overweight cows.
Why does appreciating one thing mean you have to say the other things are inferior?
Just tell me I'm pretty. Don't tell me other people aren't 💜"
Exactly, no one needs to slate the other just to have a preference.
Mrs |
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It is a most peculiar attitude. I'm guessing people who subscribe to it also think in terms of leagues. "They're better than me, but I'm better than those guys down there". They must assume everyone else thinks the same way and pay compliments accordingly.
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"It is a most peculiar attitude. I'm guessing people who subscribe to it also think in terms of leagues. "They're better than me, but I'm better than those guys down there". They must assume everyone else thinks the same way and pay compliments accordingly.
"
I think with some people it's about trying to make others feel as bad about themselves as they do. |
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I've been on opposite poles from slim to morbidly obese. People will criticise at any opportunity, when I was at my biggest it was the worst at least openly. Being called fat is apparently the worst insult in the world ever?
But I think those who complement by bringing others down are generally who are comparing themselves to everyone else. They're really aren't happy people I feel. |
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By *eliWoman 10 weeks ago
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It doesn't have to. It's quite possible to like anything without having to go down the disparaging route.
I suppose some imagine it reinforces their viewpoint. Others do it to try and gain favour/attention. I also think that some people do it because of the negative connotation surrounding overweight people - almost overcompensating for negativity before? The status quo - fighting it in the wrong way.
These threads, the comments have been going on for some time. You still find disparaging remarks about slim, overweight women and I think it'll carry on for a long time to come.
I wish people could own their preferences without a) fear of judgement/missing out on others and b) not be a dick about one group.
Fab isn't quite at Utopian standards yet though. |
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I've quite often seen the terms real woman and real man used by people about themselves rather than directed at others.
Some women actually have it written in their bios and I can think of a few recent statuses telling men unless they can handle a real woman they shouldn't get in touch or that they aren't a skinny Minny but a real woman with curves.
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 10 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I am real...my imaginary friend is not 😎"
That's them off my Christmas Card list, then 
I think people asking for a 'real woman' could phrase what they want a bit better. Unless they're just back after a meet with me and have decided that it must mean more than curves  |
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"I am real...my imaginary friend is not 😎
That's them off my Christmas Card list, then
I think people asking for a 'real woman' could phrase what they want a bit better. Unless they're just back after a meet with me and have decided that it must mean more than curves "
My imaginary friend will be gutted, it loves Christmas 😳
You can't discriminate against imaginary people you know...they have imaginary rights 😎 |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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I've always just assumed it's a poorly executed compliment aimed at whatever female they are talking to in that instance, or a poorly executed statement of their preferences, rather than a general attack on women...
Does it really bother you, or is it just a conversation idea? |
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"I've always just assumed it's a poorly executed compliment aimed at whatever female they are talking to in that instance, or a poorly executed statement of their preferences, rather than a general attack on women...
Does it really bother you, or is it just a conversation idea? "
A little of both, body shaming as a whole bothers me but this post is more a conversation mainly trying to gauge from those who comment these type of things as to why I guess.
I've been on the receiving end personally and it isn't nice.
(CBA to change profile back) |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"I've always just assumed it's a poorly executed compliment aimed at whatever female they are talking to in that instance, or a poorly executed statement of their preferences, rather than a general attack on women...
Does it really bother you, or is it just a conversation idea?
A little of both, body shaming as a whole bothers me but this post is more a conversation mainly trying to gauge from those who comment these type of things as to why I guess.
I've been on the receiving end personally and it isn't nice.
(CBA to change profile back)"
Body shaming is not cool, but i think you have to know and remember your worth and choose your reaction x |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?"
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets. |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets."
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?"
The men who choose this tactic will change the body type they're bigging up in accordance with their audience.
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I hate body shaming full stop!
I worry about people’s health if they are at each end of the spectrum… but that’s their concern and not mine!
As something that is a size 8 (sometimes slipping to a 10) I have been on the receiving end of skinny body shaming which I no longer accept and call people out on.
I was born with a vagina, ovaries and a womb, and I identify as a woman and that’s enough for me to consider myself a ‘real woman’.
Wife
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
"
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers. |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers."
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so.  |
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"I hate body shaming full stop!
I worry about people’s health if they are at each end of the spectrum… but that’s their concern and not mine!
As something that is a size 8 (sometimes slipping to a 10) I have been on the receiving end of skinny body shaming which I no longer accept and call people out on.
I was born with a vagina, ovaries and a womb, and I identify as a woman and that’s enough for me to consider myself a ‘real woman’.
Wife
"
Well said. |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers.
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so. "
No comment 😂 |
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I sometimes think it helps to ask people making these kind of statements "if x (curvy woman for example) is a real x, then what is not a real x? What makes x more real than not x? "
It gets people seeing the absurdity of the statement. |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers."
I second this, think beauty is appreciated in whatever the format and not just the physical aspects. Some guys will just say what they think you want to hear.
Can honestly hazard a guess that most people who have a type have also met someone who doesn’t fit that particular mould but have still been enamoured.
People are just weird! |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers.
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so.
No comment 😂"
Lol
But doesn't this show that this type of behaviour is insulting to everyone. |
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"I sometimes think it helps to ask people making these kind of statements "if x (curvy woman for example) is a real x, then what is not a real x? What makes x more real than not x? "
It gets people seeing the absurdity of the statement. "
I did that on 2 posts but my comments got skipped.
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers.
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so.
No comment 😂
Lol
But doesn't this show that this type of behaviour is insulting to everyone. "
100% and it needs to be called out. Women (generally) get hung up on even the tiniest bit of weight gain so they’re basically pointing out their biggest insecurity. It’s like a woman landing in my inbox and saying she only likes men with small cocks and man tits. It’s ridiculous. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"….
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs "
It doesn’t. Only to those who are using someone’s shape as a form of flattery.
Whether she’s a larger woman or she’s tiny I just see a woman with a gorgeous figure, a body I would love to have the privilege of having in my hands. Her attitude is where I see her sexiness, her personality is what makes me attracted to her and her body (whatever size it is) makes me list for her.
If she’s sexy, I’ll show her what a real man is…..😏 |
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"….
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs
It doesn’t. Only to those who are using someone’s shape as a form of flattery.
Whether she’s a larger woman or she’s tiny I just see a woman with a gorgeous figure, a body I would love to have the privilege of having in my hands. Her attitude is where I see her sexiness, her personality is what makes me attracted to her and her body (whatever size it is) makes me list for her.
If she’s sexy, I’ll show her what a real man is…..😏"
Have you got a catalogue? 😉 |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"….
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs
It doesn’t. Only to those who are using someone’s shape as a form of flattery.
Whether she’s a larger woman or she’s tiny I just see a woman with a gorgeous figure, a body I would love to have the privilege of having in my hands. Her attitude is where I see her sexiness, her personality is what makes me attracted to her and her body (whatever size it is) makes me list for her.
If she’s sexy, I’ll show her what a real man is…..😏
Have you got a catalogue? 😉"
Littlewoods….- for the tiny women
|
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers.
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so.
No comment 😂
Lol
……It’s like a woman landing in my inbox and saying she only likes men with small cocks and man tits. It’s ridiculous."
Could you forward them on for me??? |
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"Men will say many things to get sex, this is one of them.
But they stupidly then eliminate a whole body shape of women by knocking them down?
This will be controversial but this comes from being a man and talking to other men but some men believe bigger women are easier so they’re basically hedging their bets.
Similar to the whole assumption that older women will fall for the 'knows what she wants and how to get it's line?
Basically. I’m not saying all men are like this but on a site like this where the majority are just looking for sex I believe most will say whatever they think you want to hear to get into your knickers.
Are you telling me that the men who say I only look 30 are lying? Say it isn't so.
No comment 😂
Lol
……It’s like a woman landing in my inbox and saying she only likes men with small cocks and man tits. It’s ridiculous.
Could you forward them on for me??? "
I’ll send them all your way |
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By *8on33Man 10 weeks ago
winfrith |
"So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs "
Its a FIGURE of speach . |
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The whole real woman, real man thing is so based in outdated ideas of femininity and masculinity. Body size and shape have nothing to do with it, I’m a big lad who looks far more masculine than I am, yes I can lift heavy things but I cry like a baby at animal videos on the internet.
Far too many people are trapped in a past that is no longer relevant, the world has changed and their attitudes haven’t. |
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"So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs Its a FIGURE of speach ."
Bashing someone's body size because of preferences to another is a figure of speech (shouted) ok 🙄 |
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By *rispyDuckMan 10 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
It’s a gaslighing, shaming & manipulation tactic that try’s to insinuate if you don’t meet these standards I’ve set for what I consider a “real man or woman”, then you must be inferior in some way.
Anyone who uses that phrase “a real woman/man” is a walking red flag 🚩🚨 block immediately |
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"So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs Its a FIGURE of speach ."
I see what you did there . |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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What’s size etc got to do with defining a woman? That term “real woman” in itself is offensive as all women are real irrespective of size.
Personally feel it’s such a stupid term and all women should be seen as real for fks sake. |
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By *8on33Man 10 weeks ago
winfrith |
"So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs Its a FIGURE of speach .
Bashing someone's body size because of preferences to another is a figure of speech (shouted) ok 🙄"
You're far too serious ,it was a play on words but also an unintentional insult on behalf of whoever said it ,people have preferences, women especially have preferences, I personally never go near referencing a womans body I like a woman obviously on their look but mainly for their personality. |
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It's cultural and society driven for hundreds of years.
The only way to change it is through calling it out as wrong and educating offenders.
Unfortunately, it will take as many years and generations to undo as it took to create.
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"So this has popped up on a few threads this past week, what is a real woman?
Apparently according to comments it's a woman with curves? Don't we all have curves?
One stated a real women has meat & isn't a sack of bones 🤔
Why does the like of a certain body size have to result in negativity/body shaming of another size?
Having been at both ends very slim (I got the most hate for that) now being a bit overweight I'm apparently a real woman now because I drink too many mochas?!
Why does a bit of extra timber make you real?
Why does being slim stop you being curvy/womanly?
Just curious......
Mrs Its a FIGURE of speach .
Bashing someone's body size because of preferences to another is a figure of speech (shouted) ok 🙄You're far too serious ,it was a play on words but also an unintentional insult on behalf of whoever said it ,people have preferences, women especially have preferences, I personally never go near referencing a womans body I like a woman obviously on their look but mainly for their personality. "
Ah so unintentional insults are ok people shouldn't take them seriously, is unintentional sexism and racism also ok, are we just too serious.
Maybe it would be a better option just not to insult people in a poor attempt to get into their knickers, just a thought.
Mrs |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 10 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I am real...my imaginary friend is not 😎
That's them off my Christmas Card list, then
I think people asking for a 'real woman' could phrase what they want a bit better. Unless they're just back after a meet with me and have decided that it must mean more than curves
My imaginary friend will be gutted, it loves Christmas 😳
You can't discriminate against imaginary people you know...they have imaginary rights 😎"
A very good point - I'll send them an imaginary Christmas card |
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There is an element of shame in this too. One of my first dates after becoming single was with a woman who's category in fab would fall into ample. One of the first things she asked me was if I was willing to be seen in public with her. Apparently this was quite common with guys she'd meet who were up for the ride but didn't want anyone to know.
It's really sad because I am sure there are men who are very much attracted to bigger women and the mindset is they need to confirm to the media standard of beauty.
It's all muddled up with the predatory guys who will say anything to get their leg over. |
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"I am real...my imaginary friend is not 😎
That's them off my Christmas Card list, then
I think people asking for a 'real woman' could phrase what they want a bit better. Unless they're just back after a meet with me and have decided that it must mean more than curves
My imaginary friend will be gutted, it loves Christmas 😳
You can't discriminate against imaginary people you know...they have imaginary rights 😎
A very good point - I'll send them an imaginary Christmas card "
It will appreciate that ....it may even fluff its purple fluff 😆 |
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I try and call people out on it now, no need for any body shaming. The thing I find the worst is people are happy to shame as a keyboard warrior and it must get to some people.
We are regular club goers where gorgeous people of all shape,sizes, ages attend and I've never been body shamed in that environment... it definitely helps me shrug off the 'skinny/bag of bones/need some meat/not a real woman' comments....
I let it go over me, in real life I've never had any complaints... just use it to help add to that block list...anyone body shaming or any shaming for that matter makes it to our block list pretty quickly 
Beauty is skin deep, the most beautiful body can house the most ugly person in our opinion x |
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"I try and call people out on it now, no need for any body shaming. The thing I find the worst is people are happy to shame as a keyboard warrior and it must get to some people.
We are regular club goers where gorgeous people of all shape,sizes, ages attend and I've never been body shamed in that environment... it definitely helps me shrug off the 'skinny/bag of bones/need some meat/not a real woman' comments....
I let it go over me, in real life I've never had any complaints... just use it to help add to that block list...anyone body shaming or any shaming for that matter makes it to our block list pretty quickly
Beauty is skin deep, the most beautiful body can house the most ugly person in our opinion x "
👏👏👏 |
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"
Beauty is skin deep, the most beautiful body can house the most ugly person in our opinion x "
Looks are no indicator of personality beautiful or not so beautiful can all cover ugly personalities. |
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Potentially walking into minefield of genuine hurt and political mud slinging.
"A real woman".
Even true champions of female liberation get "No-Platformed", in other words censored for expressing an opinion here and it's a bed of fire whereupon I will not tread, except to feel great sympathy for those very young people already struggling as they grow. up to hear this further dilemma to deal with.
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"Why do people need to claim they're better because of how they look?
"
I agree but it seems an odd comment to make on here where peoples value is so often based on appearance , and the constant compliments based on bodies , most fabbed pics , best boob competitions etc is it surprising peope think like that |
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"Why do people need to claim they're better because of how they look?
I agree but it seems an odd comment to make on here where peoples value is so often based on appearance , and the constant compliments based on bodies , most fabbed pics , best boob competitions etc is it surprising peope think like that "
The majority of the time what your talking about is people celebtrating bodies in the most sex positive of ways.
It can all be done without putting anyone down. |
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