 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I get lots of messages asking me if ive had many meets on here. Why the fascination with meets?
Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I get lots of messages asking me if ive had many meets on here. Why the fascination with meets?
Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets?"
Makes no sense - lots of people are on a number of sites anyway - so even if you told them how many meets on here that wouldn't necessarily tell them how often you meet and what your 'score' is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Interesting question!
I am very selective in meeting people, probably too selective. I kind of like that in the people I meet as well - to do with minimising risk for one.
I do realise though that I wont ever know for sure - anymore than I will know details of somebody' sexual history. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets?"
I like to see that a woman has been actively swinging, usually via her verifications because for one it offers some assurance that she's genuine, and also that you're not going to be playing endless email tennis if you do decide you like one another. I'm put off by VAST numbers of verifications though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Depends on who is asking. Some guys 'may' like to know you've had loads as that, to them, is a sign it may be easy to get a meet with you. On the other hand, there are lot of guys who let their possessive streak get the better of them and only want to meet women who have had very few, if any, meets so they feel they are, in some strange way, 'theirs'..
Beware the 'how many meets have you had?' question is what I am saying. You may find it hides a multitude of, er, 'sins'..?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have the 'had many meets via here' question in messages but I interpret this as just being a conversation starter, like the question 'how are you', people don't actually want to know, its an opener for conversation to start.
If I gleaned from the message that someone specifically wanted to know a number then I wouldn't answer. Discretion is important in swinging.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I get lots of messages asking me if ive had many meets on here. Why the fascination with meets?
Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets?"
I see it as something they say to break the ice. Lacks imagination but I don't ascribe anything sinister in their asking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We meet a lot of people in clubs that we never verify or them us because we don't even talk about fab "
I've thought that. Do you introduce yourself (at all) with your real name or your fab name? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We meet a lot of people in clubs that we never verify or them us because we don't even talk about fab
I've thought that. Do you introduce yourself (at all) with your real name or your fab name? "
Don't even mention fab normally, introduce with our real names, I think if your in a swinging club we all know why we are there |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Beware the 'how many meets have you had?' question is what I am saying. You may find it hides a multitude of, er, 'sins'..?? "
Just goes to show how we see things differently as I don't see it that way at all.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have the 'had many meets via here' question in messages but I interpret this as just being a conversation starter, like the question 'how are you', people don't actually want to know, its an opener for conversation to start.
If I gleaned from the message that someone specifically wanted to know a number then I wouldn't answer. Discretion is important in swinging. "
^^^^^This!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I get lots of messages asking me if ive had many meets on here. Why the fascination with meets?
Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets?
I see it as something they say to break the ice. Lacks imagination but I don't ascribe anything sinister in their asking."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It does to some people some wont meet and some will not meet people who have had a lot of meets everyone has a right to choose who they meet so stop moaning |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We meet a lot of people in clubs that we never verify or them us because we don't even talk about fab
I've thought that. Do you introduce yourself (at all) with your real name or your fab name?
Don't even mention fab normally, introduce with our real names, I think if your in a swinging club we all know why we are there "
I don't mention fab in clubs either, maybe the 'how long have you been swinging, do you use swinging sites' question may come up but otherwise meeting someone in a club is entirely separate to meets arranged via this site |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does one care really if you've had a string full of meets?
I like to see that a woman has been actively swinging, usually via her verifications because for one it offers some assurance that she's genuine, and also that you're not going to be playing endless email tennis if you do decide you like one another. I'm put off by VAST numbers of verifications though."
But what is a vast number? 10? 30? 50? 100?
Someone who has been on site since day one, who regularly attends clubs could easily rack up multiple verifications from one visit (or should people be expected to only play once per night?) and if they venture out fortnightly could pick up 20-30 a year. Multiply that by 4 or 5 years and you're into treble figures!
Even those meeting outside clubs, say twice a month, could potentially pick up similar numbers. Is that excessive?
Does half a dozen veri's on a year old profile mean that's the only fun they've had? Or have they chosen not go show all or not received feedback from every meet?
And as for the comment re 'email tennis' - why discriminate against those that like to chat a while, or who for whatever reason font have the opportunity to meet straight away? I still have 'friends' who've been on my list for nearly two years that I cat to regularly and one day hope to meet. Any sense of urgency in arranging a meet can actually be quite off putting!
If your put off by what is essentially a large amount of feedback - that's your choice - but is it not better to let others choose how they 'swing' and display their activity - and simply decide whether you're interested in meeting based on factors such as attraction, personality and how well any dialogue is going?
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters."
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me! "
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?"
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking"
Then more fool them. My veris show that I do see plenty of other people. I also like to have regular fun with someone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?"
To me it comes across as territory marking: quite scary some of them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking"
Exactly! I don't scare easily but some men I wouldn't touch with someone elses as I'd have visions of the woman sat outside my house with a petrol can and a box of matches for daring to meet "her" man!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking
Exactly! I don't scare easily but some men I wouldn't touch with someone elses as I'd have visions of the woman sat outside my house with a petrol can and a box of matches for daring to meet "her" man! "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking
Exactly! I don't scare easily but some men I wouldn't touch with someone elses as I'd have visions of the woman sat outside my house with a petrol can and a box of matches for daring to meet "her" man! "
Not my style. But then I made it clear from the off that I was not interested in any kind of relationship. I don't do jealousy or possessiveness. I like the freedom I have and so does my fb. He has no say in who I see, and I have no say in who he sees. End of. I have had guys become a little 'clingy'. They were gone straight away! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking
Exactly! I don't scare easily but some men I wouldn't touch with someone elses as I'd have visions of the woman sat outside my house with a petrol can and a box of matches for daring to meet "her" man!
Not my style. But then I made it clear from the off that I was not interested in any kind of relationship. I don't do jealousy or possessiveness. I like the freedom I have and so does my fb. He has no say in who I see, and I have no say in who he sees. End of. I have had guys become a little 'clingy'. They were gone straight away!"
My comments were not aimed at you.
There are some that you feel you'd be intruding and the only reason I've noticed them is how the "players" react on the forums and I go and nosey! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
Personally? I don't care how many meets a person has had - so long as we share interests and have looked after ourselves in our previous encounters.
When their 20 meets have been by the same person it worries me!
I have multiple veris from the same person. Why would that worry anyone?
Some see it as possessive. However my regular playmate and I often leave each other verifications almost taking the Mick out of one another.
But some do read it as claim staking
Exactly! I don't scare easily but some men I wouldn't touch with someone elses as I'd have visions of the woman sat outside my house with a petrol can and a box of matches for daring to meet "her" man!
Not my style. But then I made it clear from the off that I was not interested in any kind of relationship. I don't do jealousy or possessiveness. I like the freedom I have and so does my fb. He has no say in who I see, and I have no say in who he sees. End of. I have had guys become a little 'clingy'. They were gone straight away!
My comments were not aimed at you.
There are some that you feel you'd be intruding and the only reason I've noticed them is how the "players" react on the forums and I go and nosey! "
I didn't think it was directed at me. I simply commented. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
