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A genuine meet
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Without knowing how you’re approaching your communications, it’s hard to say how to ‘tip the scales’ as you put it.
So. In short…..
Read the profile of the person you contact, establish that you might be what that person is looking for.
Message them respectfully, showing that you’ve read it.
Don’t send cock photo’s unless they’re asked for.
Send a face pic early, establish potential attraction.
Accept any no thanks with dignity and respect. Don’t start, firing abusive messages because someone said no.
Acknowledge that men are in the vast majority, women have a huge pool of chaps to choose from. |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
"
Definitely this... And also asking a woman if she wants to watch you wank... Well it's a massive turn off for me anyway.. |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
"
Dick pics pending removal after this response! See little details like that do go a long way, any more pointers would be appreciated |
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Tbf I haven't seen a couple who has come up to what I looking for yet. Im not going to play the fab lottery by messaging every couple that I can in the hope Ill get a reply. Why would I want to be ignored, blocked and sidelined by couples I dont even find attractive. I have more selfesteem than that. Not a strategy that is guarenteed to win but im not going to sacrfice my ideals for a meaningless shag.  |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
somerset |
"Tbf I haven't seen a couple who has come up to what I looking for yet. Im not going to play the fab lottery by messaging every couple that I can in the hope Ill get a reply. Why would I want to be ignored, blocked and sidelined by couples I dont even find attractive. I have more selfesteem than that. Not a strategy that is guarenteed to win but im not going to sacrfice my ideals for a meaningless shag. "
good on you and i bet it works out one day.. seek those you want rather than be part of the fuck anything crowd |
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"Tbf I haven't seen a couple who has come up to what I looking for yet. Im not going to play the fab lottery by messaging every couple that I can in the hope Ill get a reply. Why would I want to be ignored, blocked and sidelined by couples I dont even find attractive. I have more selfesteem than that. Not a strategy that is guarenteed to win but im not going to sacrfice my ideals for a meaningless shag. "
Surely you would only approach someone that you found attractive anyway so your full response is Contradictive in respects |
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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago
somerset |
"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour "
how do you tip the scales when one side is so so overloaded getting more and more overloaded daily ...  |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
Dick pics pending removal after this response! See little details like that do go a long way, any more pointers would be appreciated "
On a similar vein you may want to think about changing your main profile pic |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
"
Definitely this. One is enough and upload enough others after so it's not the first thing I see when I click on a profile.
I'm not sure I do fab like other people but here's what has led to me meeting anyone from here...
They've attended an event that I've been to where there's been a pre-event chat. On that chat they've shown themself to be a nice person, not just to me but to everyone. Their photos within the chat are attractive (to me). That potential has translated to actual in-person chemistry at the event. Arrangements have been made to meet again. Most times this has led to repeat meetings. |
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"For me, if a guy can send me a message that shows he's read my profile, knows what I'm looking for and can hold a bit of chat and some banter that piques my interest! "
I am going to put this to the test! If I fail and you don’t genuinely want to respond please let me know here via reply to this why, (I’m aware that this sounds very strange but I’m curious to know) |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
Definitely this. One is enough and upload enough others after so it's not the first thing I see when I click on a profile.
I'm not sure I do fab like other people but here's what has led to me meeting anyone from here...
They've attended an event that I've been to where there's been a pre-event chat. On that chat they've shown themself to be a nice person, not just to me but to everyone. Their photos within the chat are attractive (to me). That potential has translated to actual in-person chemistry at the event. Arrangements have been made to meet again. Most times this has led to repeat meetings. "
Listen to Julie, OP! She definitely knows what she’s banging on about.
I’ve connected with and met way more people through organised social events. There’s often a fun build up, you get to show the real you, and you can identify people who are on your wavelength (and vice versa).
Try the meets, parties and requests forum.  |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
Definitely this. One is enough and upload enough others after so it's not the first thing I see when I click on a profile.
I'm not sure I do fab like other people but here's what has led to me meeting anyone from here...
They've attended an event that I've been to where there's been a pre-event chat. On that chat they've shown themself to be a nice person, not just to me but to everyone. Their photos within the chat are attractive (to me). That potential has translated to actual in-person chemistry at the event. Arrangements have been made to meet again. Most times this has led to repeat meetings.
Listen to Julie, OP! She definitely knows what she’s banging on about.
I’ve connected with and met way more people through organised social events. There’s often a fun build up, you get to show the real you, and you can identify people who are on your wavelength (and vice versa).
Try the meets, parties and requests forum. "
Absolutely this...the organised socials are where I've met most of my fab friends. In particular try and engage with everyone, in a appropriate way, on the pre social chat. It's a really non pressured way to chat to a wide group of like minded people. |
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"I don't normally engage on these questions so i must be bored this evening
But, for me, having that many versions of dic pics in your photos would be a massive turn off
Definitely this. One is enough and upload enough others after so it's not the first thing I see when I click on a profile.
I'm not sure I do fab like other people but here's what has led to me meeting anyone from here...
They've attended an event that I've been to where there's been a pre-event chat. On that chat they've shown themself to be a nice person, not just to me but to everyone. Their photos within the chat are attractive (to me). That potential has translated to actual in-person chemistry at the event. Arrangements have been made to meet again. Most times this has led to repeat meetings.
Listen to Julie, OP! She definitely knows what she’s banging on about.
I’ve connected with and met way more people through organised social events. There’s often a fun build up, you get to show the real you, and you can identify people who are on your wavelength (and vice versa).
Try the meets, parties and requests forum. "
I’m definitely taking this on board, all cards on the table I’m a complete novice with the social aspect ie clubs and parties, I will definitely be looking more into it though |
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Don't put pressure on yourself is my tip on here, if you meet someone great, if not then it's not the end of the world.
I used to stress out if I didn't get a reply or rejected now I just put it down to not being what they are looking for.
It can knock you're confidence being a guy on here I'll admit. |
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There's a lot of good advice above ^^
But the only truly effective way for men to even up their chances of meeting, so that they match those of women, is for about 90% of you to delete your accounts. Which of you fine gentlemen will volunteer? |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour "
The sites 75% single men. The scales will never tilt in your favour.
Even if you do clubs and social events you're still likely to not see the odds in your favour. Men out number women on the scene.
Nature of the game I'm afraid. You just need to know how to play it and that, well its different for everyone. |
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"There's a lot of good advice above ^^
But the only truly effective way for men to even up their chances of meeting, so that they match those of women, is for about 90% of you to delete your accounts. Which of you fine gentlemen will volunteer? "
I think you should nominate a few from this thread just for fun haha |
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"There's a lot of good advice above ^^
But the only truly effective way for men to even up their chances of meeting, so that they match those of women, is for about 90% of you to delete your accounts. Which of you fine gentlemen will volunteer? "
Will I get a medal if I do? |
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"You just have to be patient.
Patience is not the answer AT ALL. If so give us an idea of how?? "
Mr did very well on here as a single guy.. he went to the big organised socials and clubs and got his name out there.
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Tipping the scales in your favor?
Well, the first thing is to make yourself actually stand out from the rest (in a good way). Fab is literally FULL of single dudes with dick pics who send first messages like "Hey" or "What's up" so don't do either of those.
Remove all the dick pics and replace them with well lit, full body photos that don't show the goods, clothed or even seductively scantily clad will work. Leave something to the imagination people like the exciting journey of discovery.
Next read the profile over and understand what the couple or person is seeking and craft a well written, thoughtful, respectful message that convey's that you read the profile and offers some of your personality. I'd shoot for (at least) 3 full grammatically correct sentences however more would be better. Try to be witty and playful and not overtly sexual. We all know the main reason why we're here already so treating someone as a human (the sum of all their parts) and not just their genitals is actually very refreshing when its received.
Attraction is a very personal thing so if you're comfortable with it, forwarding a face pic in the first message is always a good option. If you follow these tips you significantly increase your chances of at least getting a response then follow it up with some legitimate conversation.
Cheers |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour
The sites 75% single men. The scales will never tilt in your favour.
Even if you do clubs and social events you're still likely to not see the odds in your favour. Men out number women on the scene.
Nature of the game I'm afraid. You just need to know how to play it and that, well its different for everyone. "
I don't think it's about playing the game. The guys I've met have just seemed to me to be being themselves, being genuine and respectful, fun and friendly
Be yourself, but get out there at socials etc |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour
The sites 75% single men. The scales will never tilt in your favour.
Even if you do clubs and social events you're still likely to not see the odds in your favour. Men out number women on the scene.
Nature of the game I'm afraid. You just need to know how to play it and that, well its different for everyone.
I don't think it's about playing the game. The guys I've met have just seemed to me to be being themselves, being genuine and respectful, fun and friendly
Be yourself, but get out there at socials etc"
I completely agree. |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour
The sites 75% single men. The scales will never tilt in your favour.
Even if you do clubs and social events you're still likely to not see the odds in your favour. Men out number women on the scene.
Nature of the game I'm afraid. You just need to know how to play it and that, well its different for everyone.
I don't think it's about playing the game. The guys I've met have just seemed to me to be being themselves, being genuine and respectful, fun and friendly
Be yourself, but get out there at socials etc
I completely agree. "
That's because you are a very smart (gorgeous) lady 😁 |
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"For me, if a guy can send me a message that shows he's read my profile, knows what I'm looking for and can hold a bit of chat and some banter that piques my interest! "
Excatly this for us 2 and also showing respect to the male half of a couple when chatting not just address rhe female after all the husband is allowing others to play his wife |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour "
Tough question to answer as it requires a collective effort with all single guys been on the same page, leading by example. I can’t see that ever really happening as people join for many reasons and some just to jerk people around, perv and day dream. They certainly won’t have any interest in being part of solution and there no way to stop them from being here. All you can really do is keep being you, be polite, genuine and sincere and eventually you’ll start to meet the right people for you. It not easy even without the negative stuff, meeting someone you connect with by chance, especially with the much larger number of men on here is slim odds anyway. Be patient and give it time though and respectfull and it’ll happen |
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I'm not sure there's an answer to this question, or else it would stop being asked.
Fwiw, and maybe just because I'm lazy, I actually think it's about not trying too hard. Just be yourself, talk to people as you would in the real world* and go with the flow. Easy, innit.
(*Unless you walk around with your cock out asking women if they want to touch it. Don't do that. You'll be arrested) |
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"I'm not sure there's an answer to this question, or else it would stop being asked.
Fwiw, and maybe just because I'm lazy, I actually think it's about not trying too hard. Just be yourself, talk to people as you would in the real world* and go with the flow. Easy, innit.
(*Unless you walk around with your cock out asking women if they want to touch it. Don't do that. You'll be arrested)"
But it's such a good filter, YOLO. |
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"So like most of the men on here (I imagine) struggle to actually connect let alone meet up with people from here so my question is how do we tilt the scales in our favour
The sites 75% single men. The scales will never tilt in your favour.
Even if you do clubs and social events you're still likely to not see the odds in your favour. Men out number women on the scene.
Nature of the game I'm afraid. You just need to know how to play it and that, well its different for everyone.
I don't think it's about playing the game. The guys I've met have just seemed to me to be being themselves, being genuine and respectful, fun and friendly
Be yourself, but get out there at socials etc"
That's because a differnt game for men than it is women.
Always has been, always will be.
You can disagree but it's reality. It's not about pretending to be someone I'm not but making maximum impact with who I am.
Point in case. A hypothetical situation if you will.
You as a woman visit a swingers club. As long as you look approachable and freindly, some guy is going to.come and chat you up sooner or later. You can sit.on your own and it'll happen. As long as you give even the most subtle hints like a warm smile towards men, they will, sooner or later come to you. Might not be a man you want and or may not go anywhere but in general, you will get attention.
You can litterally turn up in a jeans and T shirt, look a bit "not drrssed up" shall we say and you'll be approached.
Seen it happen so so many times in clubs so this isn't anecdotal evidence.
Men in general on the other hand, there's not that many that get women approach them and not in the same way. If I sit quietly just smiling at folks at the club, nothing happens. I won't say ladies don't approach me because on occasion they have. But I have to stand out shall we say.
So I do. I try to dress smartly, smell good, be as sociable as possible saying hello to everyone, making the relevant moves and taking the iniative with women I like the look of and being being someone who can entertain a crowd.
I cant be shy in effect. Sitting at the bar, in my own usually.means I am left alone...by everyone. Yeah again, now and again a women will approach me and say something lole "you dress well" but it's not that common because a lot of the time women do not make the first move OR they expect us to.be mind readers and assume the smile was a hint us men should have understood.
So when I say it's the nature of the game it's the mating game. It just is what it is. Understanding those unwritten rules that exist....and something that does not translate well online.
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