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Why do you have sex?
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I’ve realised (again), that I’ve only been meeting men for sex because I want company.
Yes, sex can be great but sometimes it’s rubbish but again I only say yes for human contact.
I moved away and came back 2 and a but years ago and my local friends had all moved away and trying to find a normal buddy or fwb is difficult when an introvert/shy/quiet.
So through the ramble, do you meet for sex or do you meet because you feel a bit lonely and want company for a wee while? |
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I don’t think it’s fair to the other person to want to see them only because you’re feeling lonely, as they were some kind of comforter. For that reason I would cancel the meeting if I was feeling like that but I’d communicate clearly of why. If I’m having sex with someone it’s because I want them, and I want to give them my very best for the time we’re together. |
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By *a LunaWoman 12 weeks ago
South Wales |
When I met it was for sex. I used to find that after that it would amplify any loneliness I was feeling.
I know you say you’re introverted and shy, but have you a hobby or interest that you REALLY enjoy that you could attend a social group for it or something? Maybe a walking group where you don’t have to talk too much (because everyone is trying to breathe!) and they’re just there plodding along beside you. The more you go the more easier it would become (hopefully).
Having sex for company will just leaving you feeling like shit and you deserve better than that OP x
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People have sex for a lot of reasons. Power, love, loneliness, craving emotional intimacy, pleasure, to procreate, to keep a partner happy etc etc.
We can't usually know why the other person is having sex with us, so...🤷♀️
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"People have sex for a lot of reasons. Power, love, loneliness, craving emotional intimacy, pleasure, to procreate, to keep a partner happy etc etc.
We can't usually know why the other person is having sex with us, so...🤷♀️
"
Totally agree with the above!⬆️ |
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I meet people on here for laughs, a lot of chatting (you can’t shut me up) and sex is a nice bonus when the chemistry and attraction are there. 😄
Very, very occassionally, I may meet up just for sex but I don’t like the feeling afterwards- as mentioned in another post, I feel lonely and used afterwards. So I only have sex with people I can carry on being friends with.
I am lucky that I have someone where there is lots and lots of physical closeness, touching, etc- just no sex. And I need it sometimes haha   |
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Because it’s good for you, good for your health, it’s taps into hormones you won’t see outside of sex or escaping a grizzly bear, there’s enough studies suggesting better flexibility, mood, heart condition stress levels, need I go on |
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I get it, OP. I had a brief phase 10 years ago when I realised I was meeting because I felt a bit lost and craved human connection. It made me feel even more terrible, so it only lasted a couple of weeks.
I meet because I desire another person, enjoy their company and love sex with them. It enhances an already lovely life. I haven't felt lonely for years, and if I did, I have friends and family to go to for comfort and company.
Perhaps seeking non-sexual connection through clubs or volunteering is the healthier option to combat loneliness? |
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I know that even when the sex is good or even very good, if I can't talk to them then the connection will stall very quickly. I would rather have average sex and great conversation than the reverse. Of course great sex and great conversation and I'm onto a real winner.
Not sure I've answered your question though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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I'd like to be able to give a reason but I can't as I haven't had sex in years. Even social meets or dates are a thing of the past to alleviate the loneliness. |
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I only have sex with people that I’m attracted to and because I want to have sex with them. I’d hope that they feel the same way.
I think I’d feel awful if someone was having sex with me for other reasons. It’s not as though it’s the only thing that two people can do together and if someone just wanted company, that’s always available |
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"I’ve realised (again), that I’ve only been meeting men for sex because I want company.
Yes, sex can be great but sometimes it’s rubbish but again I only say yes for human contact.
I moved away and came back 2 and a but years ago and my local friends had all moved away and trying to find a normal buddy or fwb is difficult when an introvert/shy/quiet.
So through the ramble, do you meet for sex or do you meet because you feel a bit lonely and want company for a wee while?"
We are a couple so have contact anyway.. We meet people on here as it is like foreplay to us.. We meet, play with our guest and when they go we have our fun... And it really turns us on |
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I enjoy it and i enjoy giving pleasure to my partner in the bedroom or wherever else we are doing it.isn’t that the point?
If there are feelings involved ie a relationship it’s a bonding and intimacy which takes us to a different place as well as the passion and desire.
The last two can be had with a FWB i have built a connection with. |
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and enjoy an hour two of physical release 