Do we still misjudge people?
I am a biker with shoulder length hair, a beard and visible tattoos. I have had many comments passed such as “you’re really nice but you look kind of scary” or “I didn’t realise you held this position within the company I work for”
As swingers we seldom tell people we are, is that fear or concern of being misjudged and a perception we would all meet everyone every night for sex
Do you try and “educate” people who judge you or do you just think “it’s your loss if you think I’m like that”?
Do you judge people and if you get it wrong apologise to them? |
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When your blessed with a face that makes people think you’ve escaped from the asylum ( the skin head probably doesn’t help) and you see strangers reactions to said face, you realise how judgmental people are.
It’s a human factor I’m afraid, anyone who says they’re not judgmental is a liar, we judge people everyday, without even knowing we’re doing it. I’ve been judged by my comment, you also by starting the thread. Good or bad you’re constantly judged.
The mr |
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"Your profile is blocked to me. Do you misjudge ethnicity, TV/TS, Older etc.?
We have filters on here, perhaps judging bi or gay people, that is a form of (mis) judgement. We all do it."
My profile is currently blocked to all
Is that a misjudgment or judgment or that I am just tired
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"Do we still misjudge people?
I am a biker with shoulder length hair, a beard and visible tattoos. I have had many comments passed such as “you’re really nice but you look kind of scary” or “I didn’t realise you held this position within the company I work for”
As swingers we seldom tell people we are, is that fear or concern of being misjudged and a perception we would all meet everyone every night for sex
Do you try and “educate” people who judge you or do you just think “it’s your loss if you think I’m like that”?
Do you judge people and if you get it wrong apologise to them?"
I try to keep the bias to a minimum, sometimes I, like everyone else, subconsciously "judge" someone based on their appearance, but I'd like to think I'm open-minded enough not to let it skew my interactions with them. I always strive to give everyone a fair chance or three.
As to educating people, if they have an ounce of brain, the faux-pas will usually be enough for them to learn something from it. If not, there's absolutely no point in trying to educate an adult that's stuck in their ways. |
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"Your profile is blocked to me. Do you misjudge ethnicity, TV/TS, Older etc.?
We have filters on here, perhaps judging bi or gay people, that is a form of (mis) judgement. We all do it.
My profile is currently blocked to all
Is that a misjudgment or judgment or that I am just tired
"
There is a hell of a lot of pre judgment (prejudice), especially here on Fab. Transphobia, for example is rife. I have cis-gendered hetrosexual white males who lecture me on diversity and inclusion...
Not only misjudge but so poorly informed. I think there is a correlation. |
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People misjudge all the time. It’s deep seated in our psyche. Sometimes it works for you, sometimes it doesn’t.
You can only really properly judge a person if you get to know them but most people never get that far. |
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People will see another person and make assumptions based on their appearance. It is what it is. It's not going to fix. If our brains didn't assess the information around us and put flags on potential threats or resources we'd never have survived as a species.
Some people work to make sure they don't let those little biases and stereotypes affect how they treat someone. Some don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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I will only try and tell people who I am and what I’m about if it matters. I’m sure when people know something about me or see me they will quickly judge. But I’ve said it once and I’m never going to do it again because It was pointless.
But - “that’s not who I am!” Often goes through my mind when I know they are judging me. |
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If I make a judgement that means I don't want to engage with someone or get to know them I'm never going to know whether or not I misjudged and I'm okay with that.
Similarly, if someone does the same with me I have no desire to attempt to change their mind |
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By *eilde HoarWoman 10 weeks ago
In a wax coated bubble |
They can judge me all they want, as long as they don't try to impose that judgement onto me.
I've been burnt in the past, by so called glossy apple friends, so my distrust in people is high. Do something I don't like then sure I'll judge you, but I won't impose that on you, I'll just keep you at arms length  |
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Everyone judges and those who say they don't are lying...it could be from what someone is wearing, something they do or what they say...
I wouldn't educate randoms who judge me as their thoughts/opinions mean nothing to me. |
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By *a LunaWoman 10 weeks ago
South Wales |
I get misjudged all the time. Facial piercings, body hair, fat. But that’s on them. I know I’m lovely (and modest!).
Their judgment reflects their limitations, not mine. I’m unapologetically myself, and that’s that.
Do I judge people? Yes! Have I ever been wrong about someone as a result? Yes! And hopefully it’s broadened my mind a bit as a result. |
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I judge people all the time based on their photos. I'll look at a profile and think, "Why would they want someone like me? " , "They have bodies to die for,why would they want to have a meet with someone with a dad bod when there's fellas on here who are ripped?".
So I don't message them. |
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"Those snapshot assumptions made on appearance? Everyone makes them.
It's whether or not you're open to finding out more/having your mind changed that matters."
Do I try to "educate" people?
No. Why waste energy trying to change someone's closed mind when there will be people out there who are genuinely curious and will seek out positive interaction? |
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"I couldn't really give a fuck..if you don't like the way I look .. and judge me because of it.. that's your problem not mine..."
We have blocked all TV/TS/CD because the fella is straight and it's not our sexual preference, for some it's nothing to do with prejudice. |
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I try not to, but occasionally do.
I’m happy to amend my thoughts/opinions on getting to know someone.
People judge me with no knowledge of me, and that’s cool. I’ll point out to those who misjudge if we cross paths in person.
Otherwise, it’s largely unbeknownst to me, so no drama. |
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I mentally judge people every day, but I never act on those judgements. What I think internally is down to nature and nurture, plus my own developed thought processes and experiences.
I try to remain open minded and am always willing to learn, but I will readily admit I frequently get it wrong.
On fab specifically it’s more about personal selection over who I engage with. I don’t actively and openly declare judgements.
I try to live and let live but acknowledge I sometimes find that mantra very difficult to abide by. Especially if someone is being a world class dick. |
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"Do we still misjudge people?
I am a biker with shoulder length hair, a beard and visible tattoos. I have had many comments passed such as “you’re really nice but you look kind of scary” or “I didn’t realise you held this position within the company I work for”
As swingers we seldom tell people we are, is that fear or concern of being misjudged and a perception we would all meet everyone every night for sex
Do you try and “educate” people who judge you or do you just think “it’s your loss if you think I’m like that”?
Do you judge people and if you get it wrong apologise to them?"
Yeah I judge and misjudge. I also judge positively and accurately (not necessarily at the same time).
Everyone judges. A tiny example is the number of 'non judgemental' people who happily make assumptions about people who wear crocs.
It's hard wired into us to judge it's kept us all safe from the 'bogey man' since time immemorial.
I don't try and educate people who have made misjudgements about me I haven't lived their life and I don't really care enough.
I don't apologise if I've judged incorrectly because I don't make a habit of telling people what I think about them. |
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Depends what you mean by educate. Sometimes I find myself trying to explain to people that just because they have a subjective thought about me, or what I am thinking that's not necessarily objectively true.
But that's generally only something I'll broach once with a person, if it doesn't go well the first time.
The sharing thing part. See the thing is most judgmental people don't really get that it's a reflection of them more than anything else, so it really doesn't matter what I share. People can twist pretty much anything to suit their preconceived ideas or agenda. E.g. if you are reserved you could be seen as having something to hide or playing a mysterious game. If you do share maybe you are an edgelord, try hard or attention seeker.
So fuck it leave them to it. |
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