FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can we fix it?
Can we fix it?
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Hello wonderful fabbers 
So often you see the moans and hardships of those struggling with fab, whether that be can’t get a meet, guys too rude, no effort in messages, too many barriers/ expectations
Is there a root cause to this ? Can they be fixed? Can peoples ideas be put in place ? Or do we just have to filter our way out if it ?
Always welcome positive and healthy discussion  |
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Most things are connected to unrealistic expectations. They assume that millions will be gagging for it, with them or almost anybody -
Or if online, must be expecting it ASAP -
It's not about personality, so flashing cock pics and saying you're a man, is more than enough -
Everything should fall into your lap, with near zero effort, etc
If they change their expectations, they'd be working smarter at potentially getting progress. Only they can do that.
But the site could give regular informational nudges |
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"Single blokes (‘not all men, but always men’) need to lose their sense of entitlement. "
Speaking as one of those men it's far from being always men who have the sense of entitlement.
There are many women here who don't understand the word no and the only abuse I've ever received in 8 years here has come from couples who have contacted me with lists of instructions and demands and then called me all sorts of names when I politely refused.
I'm also one half of a fab couples profile here so I'm not coming at this just from the one angle and it's not a dig at couples in general.
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"Single blokes (‘not all men, but always men’) need to lose their sense of entitlement.
Speaking as one of those men it's far from being always men who have the sense of entitlement.
There are many women here who don't understand the word no and the only abuse I've ever received in 8 years here has come from couples who have contacted me with lists of instructions and demands and then called me all sorts of names when I politely refused.
I'm also one half of a fab couples profile here so I'm not coming at this just from the one angle and it's not a dig at couples in general.
"
In regard to fixing it, the best solution is to speak to people as equals rather than talking down or sucking up.
Men are given advice every day on the forums about how to improve their approach and often that advice is offered by profiles that are equally if not even more lazy than those they are advising.
Women and couples complain about the amount or the quality of messages they receive but refuse to use the tools already there to filter out most of those issues.
You can't complain about the quality of messages if you have put very little effort into your profile and can't be arsed using filters. |
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There is no fix. May sound a little doom and gloom but there are too many hurdles with this online stuff, especially on Fab. It's to impersonal and misses a lot of the nuances of face to face interactions and sexual attraction.
Meeting at socials or clubs...only way to go in my opinion and use fab to stay in touch.
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it? "
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️ |
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"Maybe you could fix my dilemma I'm seeking 12 women for an orgy, I haven't yet done a post to moan though.
Mrs "
I can’t imagine you would have a dilemma with getting offers, just the logistics of so many |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️"
Why do you think ? |
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"Hello wonderful fabbers
So often you see the moans and hardships of those struggling with fab, whether that be can’t get a meet, guys too rude, no effort in messages, too many barriers/ expectations
Is there a root cause to this ? Can they be fixed? Can peoples ideas be put in place ? Or do we just have to filter our way out if it ?
Always welcome positive and healthy discussion "
Some people aren’t very ‘fuckable’ |
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"Hello wonderful fabbers
So often you see the moans and hardships of those struggling with fab, whether that be can’t get a meet, guys too rude, no effort in messages, too many barriers/ expectations
Is there a root cause to this ? Can they be fixed? Can peoples ideas be put in place ? Or do we just have to filter our way out if it ?
Always welcome positive and healthy discussion
Some people aren’t very ‘fuckable’ "
Well you've either got it or you haven't. The latter, for me 🤷♀️ |
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"Hello wonderful fabbers
So often you see the moans and hardships of those struggling with fab, whether that be can’t get a meet, guys too rude, no effort in messages, too many barriers/ expectations
Is there a root cause to this ? Can they be fixed? Can peoples ideas be put in place ? Or do we just have to filter our way out if it ?
Always welcome positive and healthy discussion
Some people aren’t very ‘fuckable’
Well you've either got it or you haven't. The latter, for me 🤷♀️"
Many, including me, disagree with your self assessment…
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"Hello wonderful fabbers
So often you see the moans and hardships of those struggling with fab, whether that be can’t get a meet, guys too rude, no effort in messages, too many barriers/ expectations
Is there a root cause to this ? Can they be fixed? Can peoples ideas be put in place ? Or do we just have to filter our way out if it ?
Always welcome positive and healthy discussion
Some people aren’t very ‘fuckable’
Well you've either got it or you haven't. The latter, for me 🤷♀️
Many, including me, disagree with your self assessment…
"
I’m with him, disagree |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️
Why do you think ? "
Because people forget that the anonymity afforded by the net makes people do and say things they would in person.
Because people are lead to believe that swingers are somehow different and will have sex with anybody who asks.
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Single blokes (‘not all men, but always men’) need to lose their sense of entitlement.
I'd say there's entitlement and egos on all sides. "
Everywhere!!! There are egos everywhere!! |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️
Why do you think ?
Because people forget that the anonymity afforded by the net makes people do and say things they would in person.
Because people are lead to believe that swingers are somehow different and will have sex with anybody who asks.
"
Fancy a shag? |
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"Single blokes (‘not all men, but always men’) need to lose their sense of entitlement. "
Totally disagree there. I get messages from countless entitled women and couples and often see them posting in the forum. |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️
Why do you think ?
Because people forget that the anonymity afforded by the net makes people do and say things they would in person.
Because people are lead to believe that swingers are somehow different and will have sex with anybody who asks.
"
I meant the difference between men and women you mentioned …how men do the same on & off here and yet women you said differ between here & off? |
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"Most things are connected to unrealistic expectations. They assume that millions will be gagging for it, with them or almost anybody -
Or if online, must be expecting it ASAP -
It's not about personality, so flashing cock pics and saying you're a man, is more than enough -
Everything should fall into your lap, with near zero effort, etc
If they change their expectations, they'd be working smarter at potentially getting progress. Only they can do that.
But the site could give regular informational nudges"
Well said! |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️
Why do you think ?
Because people forget that the anonymity afforded by the net makes people do and say things they would in person.
Because people are lead to believe that swingers are somehow different and will have sex with anybody who asks.
I meant the difference between men and women you mentioned …how men do the same on & off here and yet women you said differ between here & off? "
What I meant was people will say and do things on the net that they wouldn't do and say face to face. But men mostly expect women to behave differently ie be up for sex with anyone at the drop of a hat.
Not all people but the ones who find it difficult to understand how fab works. |
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"So it seems expectations is a big part of it?
I think so. From everyone.
I think the two main expectations are that people will behave the same on the internet as they do in real life and women will behave duffyin the internet than they do in real life. 🤷♀️
Why do you think ?
Because people forget that the anonymity afforded by the net makes people do and say things they would in person.
Because people are lead to believe that swingers are somehow different and will have sex with anybody who asks.
Fancy a shag?"
Can I finish my coffee unless you can manage it without me spilling any  |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Surely one takes the socks from a "nude except for..." threesome wank bank image and pops them in the mouth of the "nobody wants me" individual thereby alleviating the moaning for the rest of us (and improving the self pleasure material for the frustrated)? |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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*And* the wank bank image sharers get to stop complaining about how their pics aren't fabbed enough.
I don't really see a flaw in the plan given sufficient sock couriers? |
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I haven’t read all of the comments above so sorry if I’m repeating but I believe the root cause of the frustrations on Fab are simply the unrealistic expectations that many of us may have…
Expecting more luck on fab than you would get in a ‘normal’ bar/club
Expecting loads of offers when your profile has one blurry picture of your knob with your pants round your ankles
Expecting virtual strangers to engage with you out of politeness
Expecting the majority to take good quality photos
Expecting anyone to be particularly charming or reliable
Expecting any form of commitment from someone who may be just solely here to have sex with multiple people
to name a few… |
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I think there a human tendency to think desired outcomes are a consequence of our decisions and undesired outcomes are factors outside of our control.
Personally, I think there's so many factors involved, it's often timing as much as it is anything else. It's quite random really, perhaps even in the hands of fate. |
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"Be good if you could name/shame and show some messages that are received...half the idiots would soon disappear x"
Are you not allowed to do that? I am sure I have seen statuses with names called out before  |
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"I think there a human tendency to think desired outcomes are a consequence of our decisions and undesired outcomes are factors outside of our control.
Personally, I think there's so many factors involved, it's often timing as much as it is anything else. It's quite random really, perhaps even in the hands of fate."
The gods will answer our prayers!!! Or Karen might just be available to travel 63 mile to suck a dick on a Tuesday morning before work? Luck would have it after all  |
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My attitude is live and let live
Filters and the block button are there for a reason, so the site has the tools to be used, if you don’t use them then you can’t blame the site
I am pleased that it is recognised here by most that it’s not just men that are the problem. There is always great talk of how many more men are on here to woman and couples so without asking the Sydney University for any statistics I would have thought that proportionally as a percentage it’s probably about the same across all groups on here just men get a “worse press” as there are more of them
There are people on here that visually I think “hell yes” then I read a profile and see their interactions and think “hell no” and I am sure that people think the same of me |
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"Maybe you could fix my dilemma I'm seeking 12 women for an orgy, I haven't yet done a post to moan though.
Mrs
Try leaving out a trail of pre lubed cucumbers."
Use of cucumbers so they can be eaten later on? |
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"Single blokes (‘not all men, but always men’) need to lose their sense of entitlement. "
I resemble that remark, we are not an entitled bunch at all!!
Any FAF and I will be expecting you both a 7pm sharp and don’t expect petrol money as meeting me should be payment enough 😂 |
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"Maybe you could fix my dilemma I'm seeking 12 women for an orgy, I haven't yet done a post to moan though.
Mrs
Try leaving out a trail of pre lubed cucumbers.
Use of cucumbers so they can be eaten later on? "
Of course! Rehydrating snacks are essential post orgy! |
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"There is no fix. May sound a little doom and gloom but there are too many hurdles with this online stuff, especially on Fab. It's to impersonal and misses a lot of the nuances of face to face interactions and sexual attraction.
"
I agree with this. It's the same with OLD.
That initial spark, animal magnetism, shot of electricity when you initially lock eyes is very difficult to replicate on a site/app.
Failing that, there are plenty of entitled k*******s on Fab; both genders 
You just have to be patient, and I agree with an above poster...good timing is often the big difference between a success and a failure over message |
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"Maybe you could fix my dilemma I'm seeking 12 women for an orgy, I haven't yet done a post to moan though.
Mrs
Try leaving out a trail of pre lubed cucumbers.
Use of cucumbers so they can be eaten later on?
Of course! Rehydrating snacks are essential post orgy!"
Love a thread crossover
Maybe a new film can be posted online, 12 women and a cucumber 😂 |
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"Maybe you could fix my dilemma I'm seeking 12 women for an orgy, I haven't yet done a post to moan though.
Mrs
Try leaving out a trail of pre lubed cucumbers.
Use of cucumbers so they can be eaten later on?
Of course! Rehydrating snacks are essential post orgy!"
I wouldn’t know …. Never had one |
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