FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What Am I Doing Wrong re Profile
What Am I Doing Wrong re Profile
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Hi, just looking for a little advice, I am ideally looking for a woman FWB in my area, Northamptonshire. I've messaged a number of ladies that catch my eye but almost never get a response. I am always polite and try to be interesting so don't really understand as alot of the ladies say they are looking for similar arrangements as me. Is my profile turning people off? Any advice would be appreciated |
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Have you messaged all the 18-99 year olds
I don’t think anyone can answer this without knowing what your first messages are
From a profile point of view, it says very little, highlights are you’ll meet 18-99 year olds, message everyone in your area (so it’s a numbers game) and you can’t accommodate |
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"Your status alone would put me off.
K"
This
Also not much on there, us men have to sell ourselves on our profile (not like that you perverts, stop giggling).
If you don't have anything on your profile and you're trying to attract women with pics only you need to remember women tend to get turned on in their mind rather than looking at pics. So you're profile is pretty empty that's where I'd start.
Let people know who you are, also don't expect women to make the first move as most don't.
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All fair, I'm trying to gauge how people are generally interacting and trying to be risque and not boring but yeah, perhaps I am not coming off as I intend.
Thanks for feedback so far, I'm new at all this and value the advice |
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"All fair, I'm trying to gauge how people are generally interacting and trying to be risque and not boring but yeah, perhaps I am not coming off as I intend.
Thanks for feedback so far, I'm new at all this and value the advice"
Better status 
Where's our invite... I love a BBQ 🤣 |
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OP,
A) Have you searched the forum for threads on profile advice? There are more threads than people on fab so that will give you some pointers.
B) Have you looked at the profiles of successful men?
You say here you’re after a fwb but your status says you’re after a quick fuck. Way to make a woman feel special.
Three pictures of you striking a weird one arm muscle pose and a close up of the old chap standing to attention is not a good selection.
One line in your bio about a lady indulging her ‘naughty’ side (lots of people hate that euphemism) tells us nothing about you.
I could go on but there’s a few easy things to address. |
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"All fair, I'm trying to gauge how people are generally interacting and trying to be risque and not boring but yeah, perhaps I am not coming off as I intend.
Thanks for feedback so far, I'm new at all this and value the advice"
All people interact differently and also differently at different points during the day and week
There is no one stop solution for receiving messages and people need to stop thinking there is
Be yourself, interact, remember the forums are a small percentage of the site, don’t use here as a primary way of meeting people |
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By *riel13Woman 23 weeks ago
Northampton |
Don't message because they catch your eye... Message because they catch your eye and you arenwhat they are looking for... Most willntell you in their bio what that is... And don't tell them you liked their profile if you didn't read it |
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What are you looking for? Specifically, not fun and games, that tells me nothing.
What do you offer?
Your profile should leave me with a sense of your personality and what you want from Fab so I can gauge if you’re what I’m looking for and if I’m what you’re looking for. |
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You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance."
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense. |
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Does becoming a fwb happen in the first instance? I tried to find one on that basis with it in my profile and obviously this is coming from a woman perspective but I find alot of men saw that and just used it as an excuse to try and meet me and then never see me again or not fully understood there was a difference between fuck buddy and friends with benefits.
I think a fwb scenario probably happens over the course of a few meets instead of "I've met you once, now we are fwb".
That's just my experience with that side of it, maybe some ladies do read you profile and have had the same experience? As others have said, writing more on your profile might help?
Also, I'll have a burger. |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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Relax a bit.
Definitely go to a club if you can. Think of it as going into a pub you don't know. It can be intimidating at first but you can sometimes take your own booze and it'll be cheaper than a pub overall. You'll get to chat with lots of different people who will introduce you to their friends also. Get your face known and you'll build trust. You could even ask some of them to take some photos for your profile. It takes time. |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense. "
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men. |
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It's reasonable to expect that most people will not be attracted to most other people. This would be a realistic expectation.
This most messages won't get a reply, as this means 'no thanks'.
It's tougher for single men here, so they need to ensure that they are selling themselves at least as well as equivalent men. Think less about what you want and more about what you are giving, when you are communicating yourself to others
Look around at the local competition, comparing how well they are doing, with yourself. A quick search should pull up quite a lot of men who want the same. Rate them and do it better |
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"Bruce was a national treasure!! Lol
Thanks again everyone, I clearly need to put alot more thought into crafting a better profile"
Dan, you've taken the advice with a sense of humour. That's a really good start. Show it in your profile, get some decent pics and keep joining in the forums. 😁 |
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"Hi, just looking for a little advice, I am ideally looking for a woman FWB in my area, Northamptonshire. I've messaged a number of ladies that catch my eye but almost never get a response. I am always polite and try to be interesting so don't really understand as alot of the ladies say they are looking for similar arrangements as me. Is my profile turning people off? Any advice would be appreciated"
It's the ratio of men to women that is working in your favour. The fairer sex gets hundreds of messages and is overwhelming for them. Needle in a haystack springs to mind |
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"Bruce was a national treasure!! Lol
Thanks again everyone, I clearly need to put alot more thought into crafting a better profile"
Your face pic is lovely but all the other pics need work. Take them out of public view for now and put them in friends only or private. Several people have suggested they aren’t good and I would suggest that the pics are actually putting people off x |
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You hab zero bio, when someone messages I read the profile to see if we match well, if it's blank or has nothing on there I won't reply.
I wouldn't reply to you.
Have a look at other blokes profiles see what works and what doesn't.
Mrs |
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By *agic.MMan 23 weeks ago
Orpington |
"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men."
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄 |
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By *hilloutMan 23 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men.
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄 "
This is one of the glaring double standards on fab where a woman will more likely be given a pass or receive sympathy for the same thing as opposed to a man. |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men.
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄 "
Because 99% of r**es and sexual assaults are committed by men, I assume you only meet at hotels or clubs? |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men.
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄
This is one of the glaring double standards on fab where a woman will more likely be given a pass or receive sympathy for the same thing as opposed to a man."
Won’t someone think of the poor men, downtrodden for centuries. |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance."
People have other reasons for not being able to accommodate, to say they are definitely married is short sited. |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
People have other reasons for not being able to accommodate, to say they are definitely married is short sited."
Perhaps but when you are dealing with a lot of fabmin you need a filter. |
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Bio way too short.
Cannot accommodate (huge red flag)
Just looking for a FWB.
Pics okay but include a cock pic.
Expand your bio a bit, include stuff about what you like and are looking for.
You have only been on here for 2 months, that's not even a nano second in fab world for single guys. so be patient |
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Explain why you can't accomodate so people don't assume you are married. But you will cut down your possible market as then you need to find a woman who does accomodate as for fwb hotels get rather expensive. |
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By *oomlMan 23 weeks ago
Fareham |
"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance."
That's a complete load of bollocks. Many men are single fathers who have children at home. I can't accommodate because I share a house with family and there are numerous other reasons why people can't or won't accommodate. People seem to jump to this conclusion with single men. I never see the same judgement when it comes to single women. |
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By *agic.MMan 23 weeks ago
Orpington |
"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men.
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄
Because 99% of r**es and sexual assaults are committed by men, I assume you only meet at hotels or clubs?"
Wow ok, at this point you're just projecting...people don't necessarily need to be ra**d to be the victim of a crime, and that's exactly the reason why both men and women should be careful who they allow in their house. I'm also not trying to change your mind...if you want to generalise and believe that if a man can't accommodate they are married and cheating, please continue- however I will continue to believe that this is an ignorant misconception. Good day 🙏 |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
I'd disagree with the can't accommodate thing, plenty of people don't won't others in their homes. I see not accommodating as having some common sense.
It’s a heuristic thing for us, just makes it easier to sort through the messages. There are certainly people who can’t, or won’t, accommodate for various reasons but when you are wading through a load of emails you need a way to thin out the numbers. We can understand why a single woman might not want to let a man into her home but less so for men.
Wait what? Why would it be less so for a man? Why would a man not have a sense of privacy and only allow people they trust in their house? Men are not immune to crazy female stalkers, or women with dangerous dark desires...why would anyone (man or woman) allow someone they only met for a social once, in their house, is beyond risky. The whole "can't accommodate = married" is just ignorant 🙄
Because 99% of r**es and sexual assaults are committed by men, I assume you only meet at hotels or clubs?
Wow ok, at this point you're just projecting...people don't necessarily need to be ra**d to be the victim of a crime, and that's exactly the reason why both men and women should be careful who they allow in their house. I'm also not trying to change your mind...if you want to generalise and believe that if a man can't accommodate they are married and cheating, please continue- however I will continue to believe that this is an ignorant misconception. Good day 🙏"
Good for you x |
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Perhaps the OP's home is his safe place and his sanctuary, for whatever reason.
OP, just change it from cannot accommodate to simply "accommodate". That doesn't necessarily mean that you ·will· accommodate. It's still your prerogative to refuse. Alternatively you can potentially 'accommodate' at a hotel of your choice.
Why should "accommodate" refer to one's abode? |
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"Explain why you can't accomodate so people don't assume you are married. But you will cut down your possible market as then you need to find a woman who does accomodate as for fwb hotels get rather expensive."
Why should anyone need to "explain" why they can't accommodate??
It's no-ones business at the end of the day. |
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"You can’t accommodate, which is a red flag as it basically means you’re married. You don’t really say anything about yourself either. There are thousands of men looking for the same thing as you, if you don’t stand out you’ll have no chance.
That's a complete load of bollocks. Many men are single fathers who have children at home. I can't accommodate because I share a house with family and there are numerous other reasons why people can't or won't accommodate. People seem to jump to this conclusion with single men. I never see the same judgement when it comes to single women."
And you put that in your profile, which is great, but if someone doesn’t then we’ll assume they are married. |
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"Explain why you can't accomodate so people don't assume you are married. But you will cut down your possible market as then you need to find a woman who does accomodate as for fwb hotels get rather expensive.
Why should anyone need to "explain" why they can't accommodate??
It's no-ones business at the end of the day."
Absolutely true, and people can choose not to meet people who can’t accommodate because the potential hassle that comes with meeting a married person just isn’t worth it, for us at least. |
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