FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do people ‘get you?’
Do people ‘get you?’
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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And this is specifically related to profiles and your online image.
I mentioned somewhere else this morning that somebody’s profile can often be misleading. I don’t know whether that’s intentional., but often my opinion can change when you finally me a person you’ve read for awhile. And yes, very often in a good way. 
But I do read back my profile and wonder, if people actually get it? Because there was one time when I thought. ‘ you really, don’t know me!’
How do you think you come across?, Are you easy to read? |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Strangly no but I am one of the most straightforward people I know. I do make a lot of jokes so an aware that a lot of people don't get my humour/banter/sarcasm.
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I don't think replying to a few threads about this or that really says that much about you. Maybe if it's about something controversial, if you're talking about holidays in Monaco, using words or posting topics the majority don't have a clue about might stick out.
I don't keep a tally on who's posting what myself - Demon threads and bin sex kind of pass me by. I suppose peoples writing style does but I don't associate that, with what they are like irl. |
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I don't expect people to get me. My profile is a small insight into a part of me. We're all so much more that a few (sometimes carefully) selected words and pictures. I don't really see what's to get? |
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I don’t think people get us as we only give a little insight into us here and I tend to use the forums indifferently.
I’m quite dry and a little sarcastic but they don’t to read well so I don’t use it a lot here.
I also care a lot about people, which doesn’t show on here.
I will always message people we are chatting to properly from this site, even to check in. I like to chat to people about anything and everything.
But people we’ve met will have met the real me and so their opinions are more valid.
K
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No I don’t think so. But that’s intentional. I’m fairly jaded right now and don’t want anything. Maybe that will change in time. But I always find that if I’m looking for a certain type of connection I can find my people. Just not right now. Plus my dark humour is totally lost on here. 🤣 |
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"The thing is I'm not complicated or special (not many people are). It's quite easy to 'get' me I think"
But on Fab or any online forum I think that's hard to convey. Admittedly though I use visual cues a lot when interpreting people. |
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On fab people do not get me. Maybe a very small few in the forums do. Exhausting - feels like your true self is unappreciated in a space that is really good for ENM etc.
I went to a POC ENM social in June and I can’t explain it but the people there got me. I’ve got another one in two weeks because it’s important to find your people.
I know I care about race a lot and my profile and online persona reflects that. But people that get me, get that. And race is importance to them to. |
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"The thing is I'm not complicated or special (not many people are). It's quite easy to 'get' me I think
But on Fab or any online forum I think that's hard to convey. Admittedly though I use visual cues a lot when interpreting people. "
Profiles are sometimes difficult to interpret but even in the written word there are tells. How people react to certain things, small details in the way they type and opinions they hold. |
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Our profile is shit because mainly we're unlikely to be finding new people like that. Or at all.
People don't get me a lot. They think I'm this tough, blunt, indestructible thing. They think I'm always super confident.
Beneath the rhinoceros hide exterior is a very sensitive, caring person who feels lacking in emotional support often, because people just assume I can cope. |
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I'd find it odd if anyone thought they'd "got me" from a couple of paragraphs and pictures. I think from forum postings you can get a bit of a feel for someone, see the potential for future mutual "getting", but until you've met in person and spent some time there's no real insight. |
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"Our profile is shit because mainly we're unlikely to be finding new people like that. Or at all.
People don't get me a lot. They think I'm this tough, blunt, indestructible thing. They think I'm always super confident.
Beneath the rhinoceros hide exterior is a very sensitive, caring person who feels lacking in emotional support often, because people just assume I can cope. "
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"Some people at Fab socials have told me that I’m exactly what they expected. I suppose that means they ‘get’ me from the profile and the forum chat. "
People say that a lot to me too. I thought they were just being polite  |
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Both on here and in life outside Fab, I don’t ever let anyone close enough to “get me”. I don’t think I’m ready for that level of vulnerability yet and probably never will. Until someone get to “get me”, effortlessly organically, then maybe. |
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I have no idea, in all honesty I come across quite confident and sassy here I think sometimes but in real life I'm really quite shy until I get to know people (or I've had some Dutch courage, which I don't like doing when it comes to swinging), so probably come across miserable in real life, which I'm not it's just the way my face looks 😂 |
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"People don't get me a lot. They think I'm this tough, blunt, indestructible thing. They think I'm always super confident.
Beneath the rhinoceros hide exterior is a very sensitive, caring person who feels lacking in emotional support often, because people just assume I can cope. "
I like the forum because it’s possible to see people in more depth sometimes and that makes them interesting, sometimes attractive (although sometimes the opposite too!)
If you were to trawl through my posts like a dedicated stalker, you’d probably get some idea of what I’m like. My replies can vary a lot so snapshots don’t work.
Perhaps like many here, I only show what I’m comfortable with. That’s probably what the Fab persona is and when RW Emerson said we have as many personalities as we have friends, I think he had Fab in mind. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 13 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'd say so. My profile shows enough of my personality that people can tell what a night out with me would be like.
I think the only people who don't get me, are the ones that can't look past me being Trans or the quite reasonably sized boobs and don't see the personality  |
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By *GjaneCouple 13 weeks ago
Bury St Edmunds |
Don’t think anyone can know you from profile. They can start to know what you’re looking for and interested in.
We prefer to be very upfront in our profile and it has admittedly grown over the years.
Like to get to know people though conversation weather that’s messages or call.
With all the naughty things we’re doing with people have to know if there’s a connection / respect there. |
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As a neurodivergent person, I assume/accept that 99% of people won't get me. As for my profile, I put loads of effort I to a long detailed profile. Then I deleted 2/3 of it as no one reads it.
Unless you meet people, you can't get a true sense of them. |
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"I'm comfortable regardless of whether people 'get me' or not as I realise that I am not in control of their thoughts or neuroses.
Is it not neurosis ?or did you mean new Rose's?"
Neuroses is the plural of neurosis. I don't expect everyone has the same neurosis so I used the plural and meant neuroseeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz .  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"Our profile is shit because mainly we're unlikely to be finding new people like that. Or at all.
People don't get me a lot. They think I'm this tough, blunt, indestructible thing. They think I'm always super confident.
Beneath the rhinoceros hide exterior is a very sensitive, caring person who feels lacking in emotional support often, because people just assume I can cope. "
I gave up on my profile too long ago now to give a shit too. Nobody reads it or they just take in what they want. They then are open to not meeting someone they expect.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I'd find it odd if anyone thought they'd "got me" from a couple of paragraphs and pictures. I think from forum postings you can get a bit of a feel for someone, see the potential for future mutual "getting", but until you've met in person and spent some time there's no real insight."
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"The thing is I'm not complicated or special (not many people are). It's quite easy to 'get' me I think
I’m special! 
That’s what the doctors said, isn’t it."
It was the school nurse thank you very much. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I don't expect people to get me. …. I don't really see what's to get?
I don’t know, maybe a bit of this, maybe a bit if that!
Maybe just a bit of the other?"
Or what’s left over? |
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By *essTTWoman 13 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Mostly no, and I'm OK with that
I'm neuro spicy and some times not fully aware of how I come across online
Those who have met me know know I'm actually a nice person even though I don't always come across as such online/on the forums |
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By *essTTWoman 13 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Mostly no, and I'm OK with that
I'm neuro spicy and some times not fully aware of how I come across online
Those who have met me know know I'm actually a nice person even though I don't always come across as such online/on the forums "
"some times not fully aware of how I come across online"
By this I mean sometimes the thoughts come out without thinking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I let people know what I want them to know. But noone knows the full me, even if they think they do"
It takes ages to want someone to know the real me (tears and all) that’s when you find out if someone really likes you, they normally bin you at that point. 😏
I’d rather people dislike the real me than like the fake me. 🌈 |
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I reckon my profile describes me pretty accurately, wether or not someone gets me from what they have read about me, fucked if I know?
Chatting on the forums I reckon I come across as a bit of a stuffy,
I'm petrified of public speaking and in some weird way it sort of feels the same talking amongst all you fabbers.
And I'm not sure why? As I've never been described as shy in real life. |
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There's a difference between liking something on my profile, maybe even feeling a bit of an affinity in some way and having me figured out.
Honestly, I don't know if I'm easy to read I'm not really about that approach, if you want to know something about me, ask? I mean unless you are the kind of person who presumes I wouldn't answer honestly, but then why bother if that's the case? |
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I've said it numerous times that on fab some people really get me and are quick to tell me that they admire my extremely positive and humourous approach.
At the same time others look at my forum contributions and see me as stern or very serious and filled with negativity. They are also quick to tell me this.
Negativity for the latter group usually means not kissing their arse or not being as gullible as those in their circle.
I'll take that every day of the week because those are the type of people I'm not interested in.
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I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me. "
^  |
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"The only people that get me here are the ones we’ve met.
I work hard to make sure most forum users think I’m an arrogant prick and that’s just fine with me.
Pretty much this."
You are not doing a very good job Willy. I'd never describe you in that way... |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me. "
In real life do you have a top half ? |
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"Mostly they do but the ones that don’t - really don’t! 
I think you are what it says on the plastic bag Todge.....
Not just a dickhead.. an M&S dickhead??  "
You don't come across as a dickhead to me and I see you more as a Morrisons man with the odd disloyalty when you nip in to Aldi |
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"Mostly they do but the ones that don’t - really don’t!
I think you are what it says on the plastic bag Todge.....
Not just a dickhead.. an M&S dickhead??
You don't come across as a dickhead to me and I see you more as a Morrisons man with the odd disloyalty when you nip in to Aldi "
#Stalker Im actually rather Waitrose… i know - sometimes the local farm shop.. and im glad I don’t come across that way… xx |
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"The only people that get me here are the ones we’ve met.
I work hard to make sure most forum users think I’m an arrogant prick and that’s just fine with me.
Pretty much this.
You are not doing a very good job Willy. I'd never describe you in that way... "
I'll try harder, Granny 🫡 |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?"
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes. |
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By *aven.Woman 13 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes."
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice. |
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To be honest, I don't even know what my profile says because I haven't edited since I joined.
I don't even know which pics I have public/friends/private.
I come on here to fuck around and find out |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes.
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice. "
Is that a compliment? From you? I think you need to put the wine down |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes.
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice. "
Now I want to see. I'll do some knitting to take my mind off it |
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By *aven.Woman 13 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes.
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice.
Now I want to see. I'll do some knitting to take my mind off it "
I'll never forget the moment granny.
There he was, on his back. Legs akimbo ready to take my girthy penis and I thought to myself wow, this guy has an awesome top half.
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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My profile is a snapshot of who I am. I don't expect people to get me based of it and if they think they did, they would probably be disappointed because I am essentially a lot more than photos and few words. |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes.
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice.
Now I want to see. I'll do some knitting to take my mind off it "
Depends how much you like chubby blokes with tattoos. If that’s your thing you knit me a jumper in XL, thanks. |
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"I think there’s only a handful of people that get my humour on here. If I could say what I really wanted to there’d be a few less.
In real life I’m exactly the same but you can see my facial expressions which give away that I’m joking so I think people would be pleasantly surprised by me.
In real life do you have a top half ?
I don’t. I’m just a pair of legs and a head. I type with my toes.
He has a rather nice top half!
Yes I've had wine that's why I'm being nice.
Now I want to see. I'll do some knitting to take my mind off it
I'll never forget the moment granny.
There he was, on his back. Legs akimbo ready to take my girthy penis and I thought to myself wow, this guy has an awesome top half.
"
I still cry when I look back on that time we spent together. |
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I think we are pretty straightforward.
We like to think we are friendly, chatty, open and fairly honest.
Not too honest about our lives outside swinging as we like to keep them separate and don't want to be outed.
We love meeting all types except wankers, drama queens and folks with a huge bag of angst.
Then it's a smile, lovely to meet you and move on pronto.
Profiles just give us a general idea, verifications show real meets but face to face trumps all.
Just love the excitement and nerves of real meets. |
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I’m probably neurodivergent (some people refer to it as neurospicey which I adore). I’d like to think I’m pretty easy to read but it seems like how I see things and react to things doesn’t always vibe with the people around me.
Which is fine, I keep trying to get better at it and my loved ones keep trying to understand me. We’ll all get there eventually. |
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Nope they don't.
But the profile being on private, doesn't let people get me or the mr.
Mr doesn't come on here often, I come on fab in spits and spats. So on my part any comments put on the forum just answer the question and are not often an answer to someone else's comments. So in a way, I don't invite conversation, so no one knows me really either by the profile or by comments on the forum. |
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if people spend time they may find out more about who i am ..... 
