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When you feel sad, you want to make others happy
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I think when you have felt great sadness you are more empathetic to others going through it.
Not saying that you can’t be giving and happy, but some experiences you have to have had to fully grasp |
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I'm a retreater when I'm struggling because I go into autistic shutdown and become mute. I'd love to be able to help others and make them happy whatever my mood, but the reality is that it's just not going to be possible sometimes. |
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"This is true. But I want cuddles (and particular pics) to make me feel happy 
I’ll send you some Arsenal shirt pics ( of the players of course)  "
 but I’ve actually seen pictures of you in an Arsenal shirt
And sadly in that ‘other’ shirt  |
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When my mental health is bad I shut myself away.
I'm always sad since my partner died but its a deep sadness that's always there but I try to live my life as normal as possible.
Being sad isn't the same as bad mental health for me it's an emotion I live with |
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Recently been hurt (emotionally) really badly. But despite wanting to just cry inside I push it down and have been doing what I can to ease their own pain instead.
Sure I let myself have a cry when in private, though when around them, despite what they did... I don't want to see them sad. |
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"This is a rare state for me. I compartmentalise it well. I'll be sad on my own but will mostly present as normal around others."
This is pretty much me. I'm a massive people pleaser anyway. I don't think that's healthy either, though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I can't deal with people. I am one of those that will just go quiet and not say anything for weeks/months.
I hear this.
I deal with sadness by ghosting everyone. It’s really quite unhealthy"
I'm exactly like this too  I withdraw into myself and shut everyone out while I process my thoughts. There are so many adverts in the media, encouraging us to talk to someone when we feel like this. But reaching out to someone can actually be very difficult. Thankfully, I now have a couple of special people in my life who I'm slowly starting to trust and feel comfortable with when these 'lows' hit me. Sending  and hugs to everyone x |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that?
Childhood conditioning, in my case. "
I think for the most part, our patterns start in childhood. Doesn’t mean we can’t re write them though, if we want to. |
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"I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that?
Childhood conditioning, in my case.
I think for the most part, our patterns start in childhood. Doesn’t mean we can’t re write them though, if we want to. "
Yeah, I'm trying. Failing. But trying. |
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Don’t have time to stay or be sad for long. It’s a frame of mind that can be adjusted with me i find
If I am sad I just quickly realign my logic and off we go , I would not pretend / hide just to deal with others. I like to keep my mind sanguine when around others |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is  "
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal. |
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"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal. "
They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour . |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 24 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
i am a compartmentaliser - so if i feel hurt i shut it away, not always the healthy option - i am always ready to help others and forget my stuff .
Think i have become conditioned to thinking of others first and self care isnt a thing i always remember to do, there is always someone else to focus on. |
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When I feel sad I visit family, or I cry while doing the washing up.
I tend to only feel sad about my mum being gone.
The Anniversary of her passing is coming up and for the first time I'm not maudlin.
I like to make people happy whatever emotion I'm feeling.
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"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.
They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour . "
Its interesting for me as a very en emotional driven person to see how emotions affect the majority of human beings ... I find it fascinating that people cant use logic to rationalise their thoughts and bring themselves into clarity easier |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 24 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.
They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour . "
but shutting down every emotion, which seems to be the norm, isnt healthy either - children are not allowed to get bored ! yet how can they learn to be inventive and creative if they are not bored by something and go then to find something to do to elevate this.
Grief is another - your given a couple of days to grieve and expected to get on with life, embracing our emotions makes us who we are - we are human beings and emotions are part of that.
Understandably they can go a bit wonky and extreme thats when you need some support in dealing with them, but if you never experience them in the first place then how can you deal with them?? |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.
They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour . "
Emotions are always, always valid.
If something like road rage comes up, it’s perfectly valid, and may be a symptom of something else, especially if emotions have been stifled or dismissed in the past.
What’s underneath that road rage, where’s it coming from ….. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is
Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.
It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.
They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour .
but shutting down every emotion, which seems to be the norm, isnt healthy either - children are not allowed to get bored ! yet how can they learn to be inventive and creative if they are not bored by something and go then to find something to do to elevate this.
Grief is another - your given a couple of days to grieve and expected to get on with life, embracing our emotions makes us who we are - we are human beings and emotions are part of that.
Understandably they can go a bit wonky and extreme thats when you need some support in dealing with them, but if you never experience them in the first place then how can you deal with them??"
💜 |
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