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Is age important to start a relationship?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 23 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I would say 2 things here, if you want to start a family, the younger you are the better, lets say in your lower 20s, but for love, it could be more or less at any age.
It would be interesting to see what your view is about this, do you agree or what age would you say it could it?  |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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I’d say when it feels right is the most important thing. I fell in love young’ish I suppose to you Shag my age was far too young . I started a family late according to you.
My love lasted ages. And my kids are doing damn good thank you.  |
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Yeah age is one of the first things I look at. I could never be with someone younger than me. I would rather start a family when I'm reaching my 30s as by then I would've had enough life experience and money to hopefully give my family a good life. Plus, I don't want to spend my early adult years as a prisoner and having a family would definitely make me feel that way currently. |
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It's swings and roundabouts shag, I would love it that menopause and puberty were not coinciding over the past 10 years, buts that's my only regret about having a family later on. I had a career, went travelling, had a ton of experiences, then had kids. Loads of my school friends are grandparents now having started families at 20 and they are doing the looking after the grandkids cycle, I definitely chose the best path for me |
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"It's swings and roundabouts shag, I would love it that menopause and puberty were not coinciding over the past 10 years, buts that's my only regret about having a family later on. I had a career, went travelling, had a ton of experiences, then had kids. Loads of my school friends are grandparents now having started families at 20 and they are doing the looking after the grandkids cycle, I definitely chose the best path for me "
Looking after grandchildren is a 'cycle' it's a privilege! |
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Medical professionals call any pregnancy where the mother is 35 and above a geriatric pregnancy. Well, they're migrating to the softer sounding 'advanced maternal age'. For a mother's and baby's health the best time to give birth is early 20s. Once a mother reaches her 30s the risks to baby increases exponentially. |
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^^ 'elderly primagravida' is writ large in my medical notes. When I rocked up at the surgery pregnant at 35 the midwife was almost disapproving. When I turned up pregnant at 46 the medical people threw their hands up in despair.
Nature will do what it wants to do and all the medical warnings in the world won't stop it. |
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" For a mother's and baby's health the best time to give birth is early 20s.
I don't agree early 20s is best for a new mother's mental health "
I agree, you are likely to be better prepared for motherhood the older you get. Just not physically, medically speaking. |
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"^^ 'elderly primagravida' is writ large in my medical notes. When I rocked up at the surgery pregnant at 35 the midwife was almost disapproving. When I turned up pregnant at 46 the medical people threw their hands up in despair.
Nature will do what it wants to do and all the medical warnings in the world won't stop it. "
Didn't you find looking after a newborn at 46 and coping with a toddler when your obviously older exhausting? I do a lot of babysitting for my youngest grandson who's 7 months. I find that tiring and he's only crawling and has naps!☺️ |
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"^^ 'elderly primagravida' is writ large in my medical notes. When I rocked up at the surgery pregnant at 35 the midwife was almost disapproving. When I turned up pregnant at 46 the medical people threw their hands up in despair.
Nature will do what it wants to do and all the medical warnings in the world won't stop it.
Didn't you find looking after a newborn at 46 and coping with a toddler when your obviously older exhausting? I do a lot of babysitting for my youngest grandson who's 7 months. I find that tiring and he's only crawling and has naps!☺️"
Things didn't turn out as expected bearing out your point about younger mothers. I have no doubt that I would have found a baby at that age exhausting and a huge strain on me and the whole family.
One compensation about your grandson is you can hand him back to his parents  and just enjoy the best bits |
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"I'm not trying to cause an argument but she didn't mention having a toddler as well as a baby at 46. "
I had my first baby at 33, my second at 35 and became pregnant at 46 but that didn't go full term because basically I was too old.
The gynaecologist told me the oldest woman she'd seen who was pregnant naturally was in her late fifties and the oldest woman still having regular periods was 62. |
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"^^ 'elderly primagravida' is writ large in my medical notes. When I rocked up at the surgery pregnant at 35 the midwife was almost disapproving. When I turned up pregnant at 46 the medical people threw their hands up in despair.
Nature will do what it wants to do and all the medical warnings in the world won't stop it.
Didn't you find looking after a newborn at 46 and coping with a toddler when your obviously older exhausting? I do a lot of babysitting for my youngest grandson who's 7 months. I find that tiring and he's only crawling and has naps!☺️
Things didn't turn out as expected bearing out your point about younger mothers. I have no doubt that I would have found a baby at that age exhausting and a huge strain on me and the whole family.
One compensation about your grandson is you can hand him back to his parents and just enjoy the best bits "
Exactly ☺️ |
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"I'm not trying to cause an argument but she didn't mention having a toddler as well as a baby at 46.
I had my first baby at 33, my second at 35 and became pregnant at 46 but that didn't go full term because basically I was too old.
The gynaecologist told me the oldest woman she'd seen who was pregnant naturally was in her late fifties and the oldest woman still having regular periods was 62. "
I am so sorry I bought this up 😟 |
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"I think my point is that regardless of what anyone believes to be the best age for anything life has other ideas"
My single biggest , well only real regret in life on not having more kids. I have three daughters would have loved 6 or 8 but I didn’t know then what I know now.
I did consider another around age 50 but it’s a such a massive decision and responsibility I would needed to slow down at work and likely give up fab to raise a child properly |
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"I'm not trying to cause an argument but she didn't mention having a toddler as well as a baby at 46.
I had my first baby at 33, my second at 35 and became pregnant at 46 but that didn't go full term because basically I was too old.
The gynaecologist told me the oldest woman she'd seen who was pregnant naturally was in her late fifties and the oldest woman still having regular periods was 62.
I am so sorry I bought this up 😟"
Thank you. Please don't feel bad, I chose to mention it and if I found it distressing I wouldn't have brought it up. |
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"I'm not trying to cause an argument but she didn't mention having a toddler as well as a baby at 46.
I had my first baby at 33, my second at 35 and became pregnant at 46 but that didn't go full term because basically I was too old.
The gynaecologist told me the oldest woman she'd seen who was pregnant naturally was in her late fifties and the oldest woman still having regular periods was 62.
I am so sorry I bought this up 😟
Thank you. Please don't feel bad, I chose to mention it and if I found it distressing I wouldn't have brought it up. "
Have a 🫂 regardless
🙂 |
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"I think my point is that regardless of what anyone believes to be the best age for anything life has other ideas
My single biggest , well only real regret in life on not having more kids. I have three daughters would have loved 6 or 8 but I didn’t know then what I know now.
I did consider another around age 50 but it’s a such a massive decision and responsibility I would needed to slow down at work and likely give up fab to raise a child properly "
It's a much bigger decision the older you get I think. My dad certainly had doubts becoming a father at 40. |
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"I'm not trying to cause an argument but she didn't mention having a toddler as well as a baby at 46.
I had my first baby at 33, my second at 35 and became pregnant at 46 but that didn't go full term because basically I was too old.
The gynaecologist told me the oldest woman she'd seen who was pregnant naturally was in her late fifties and the oldest woman still having regular periods was 62.
I am so sorry I bought this up 😟
Thank you. Please don't feel bad, I chose to mention it and if I found it distressing I wouldn't have brought it up.
Have a 🫂 regardless
🙂"
thank you.
|
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"I think my point is that regardless of what anyone believes to be the best age for anything life has other ideas
My single biggest , well only real regret in life on not having more kids. I have three daughters would have loved 6 or 8 but I didn’t know then what I know now.
I did consider another around age 50 but it’s a such a massive decision and responsibility I would needed to slow down at work and likely give up fab to raise a child properly
It's a much bigger decision the older you get I think. My dad certainly had doubts becoming a father at 40. "
I think there’s a huge amount of unwarranted stigma too. People say things like it’s selfish to have a teenager when you’re in your 60s or 70s or to die leaving someone in their 20s without a father.
Lots of children and young adults have awful abusive parents or no parents for alll kinds of reasons does that make their lives any less valuable or worthwhile? It’s almost like your life can only be worth something if your parents are alive |
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By *ularliWoman 23 weeks ago
Worcester |
I always wanted a baby young and I’m glad I did as I would have made an awful older mum.
I fell in love young and had my daughter when I was 20, she’s now 21 and is living with her partner and they’ve recently had a baby. So I’m now a nan and I love it.
I’ve been single for many years and plan to stay that way so love is off the cards for me but and it’s a big but, if I did meet someone and we were to get together then age is important. I’d like him to be my age or within a few years either side.
I can still bare children but I don’t want any more.
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"I think my point is that regardless of what anyone believes to be the best age for anything life has other ideas
My single biggest , well only real regret in life on not having more kids. I have three daughters would have loved 6 or 8 but I didn’t know then what I know now.
I did consider another around age 50 but it’s a such a massive decision and responsibility I would needed to slow down at work and likely give up fab to raise a child properly
It's a much bigger decision the older you get I think. My dad certainly had doubts becoming a father at 40.
I think there’s a huge amount of unwarranted stigma too. People say things like it’s selfish to have a teenager when you’re in your 60s or 70s or to die leaving someone in their 20s without a father.
Lots of children and young adults have awful abusive parents or no parents for alll kinds of reasons does that make their lives any less valuable or worthwhile? It’s almost like your life can only be worth something if your parents are alive"
I agree.
I think that often you can only live your authentic self when your parents aren't around.
But that's enough deep and meaningful for me for a Sunday morning |
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By *ir tootMan 23 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"I think my point is that regardless of what anyone believes to be the best age for anything life has other ideas
My single biggest , well only real regret in life on not having more kids. I have three daughters would have loved 6 or 8 but I didn’t know then what I know now.
I did consider another around age 50 but it’s a such a massive decision and responsibility I would needed to slow down at work and likely give up fab to raise a child properly
It's a much bigger decision the older you get I think. My dad certainly had doubts becoming a father at 40.
I think there’s a huge amount of unwarranted stigma too. People say things like it’s selfish to have a teenager when you’re in your 60s or 70s or to die leaving someone in their 20s without a father.
Lots of children and young adults have awful abusive parents or no parents for alll kinds of reasons does that make their lives any less valuable or worthwhile? It’s almost like your life can only be worth something if your parents are alive
I agree.
I think that often you can only live your authentic self when your parents aren't around.
But that's enough deep and meaningful for me for a Sunday morning "
After losing my only job having to live with my parents again makes me feel kinda shite.
Not want you meant ofc but I don't exactly feel myself being here. |
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"
I think that often you can only live your authentic self when your parents aren't around.
But that's enough deep and meaningful for me for a Sunday morning
After losing my only job having to live with my parents again makes me feel kinda shite.
Not want you meant ofc but I don't exactly feel myself being here."
The parent/child dynamic never really goes away. |
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By *929Man 23 weeks ago
bedlington |
Both have their advantages, having them earlier means you are younger when they are grown up and get some form of freedom back. Having them late gives you more time to enjoy being young and free and also gives you time to buy a house ect as that’s much harder to do when have kids to pay for
I’m glad I had my kids relatively early (was 23 when my son was born) now they are 17 and 15 and do most things for themself oldest is earning his money ect downside is most of my mates waited so despite having more freedom now got nobody to do it with as all mates still raising their family’s |
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By *ed OpiumWoman 23 weeks ago
Never Never Land |
"I would say 2 things here, if you want to start a family, the younger you are the better, lets say in your lower 20s, but for love, it could be more or less at any age.
It would be interesting to see what your view is about this, do you agree or what age would you say it could it? "
i didnt think i was ready to have a child when i was younger and as i got older felt that it wasnt going to happen anyway for a number of reasons, not being in a steady relationship was one. Then i found out i was (late late 30's) and felt that well this is it and i was prepared to single parent.
I dont think i was mentally ready when i was younger . I have friends that had kids at 20 and early - I think its a very individual thing and if you think about it too much then you can find a way to put it off forever - mine kind of just happened and now im glad i followed it through. |
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By *ir tootMan 23 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"
I think that often you can only live your authentic self when your parents aren't around.
But that's enough deep and meaningful for me for a Sunday morning
After losing my only job having to live with my parents again makes me feel kinda shite.
Not want you meant ofc but I don't exactly feel myself being here.
The parent/child dynamic never really goes away. "
Yeah well hopefully I can pick myself up eventually |
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I was 22 when I had my first. I’m now 41 and just starting to have some of my ‘own time’. Only downside to having kids that young was I wasn’t supported by family and didn’t have a stable job. My husband at the time kept getting into debt so we didn’t have much money but I managed to make things fun for them and saved enough for a caravan holiday every year.
I’m now with my new fiancé (7 years together) and my girls are nearly 15 and 18. We have a house and a touring caravan. Life is what you make it x |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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"I would say 2 things here, if you want to start a family, the younger you are the better, lets say in your lower 20s, but for love, it could be more or less at any age.
It would be interesting to see what your view is about this, do you agree or what age would you say it could it? "
You have a child when you're ready, for some that's early on, some it's later in life and for some it's never.
Love? Ha never.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 23 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It's swings and roundabouts shag, I would love it that menopause and puberty were not coinciding over the past 10 years, buts that's my only regret about having a family later on. I had a career, went travelling, had a ton of experiences, then had kids. Loads of my school friends are grandparents lnow having started families at 20 and they are doing the looking after the grandkids cycle, I definitely chose the best path for me "
Hi patricia, that is good you chose the best path for you to have it later on too |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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I think the best age to start a family is when you've got yourself sorted first with a decent career and a roof over your head. Then consider kids/marriage after if that's what you want.
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By *indergirlWoman 23 weeks ago
somewhere, someplace |
"It's swings and roundabouts shag, I would love it that menopause and puberty were not coinciding over "
Same for me, two pubescent teens and a peri mum does not make for a nice household to be in at times bit I wouldn't change it, I had my kids in my early 30s and that was the right time for me |
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By *a LunaWoman 23 weeks ago
South Wales |
The only worry I have with having mine slightly later (35 and 37) is if anything happens to me who will look after my youngest who has ASD. I cannot realistically see him living independently on his own, so it is a constant concern in the back of my mind, despite being on anxiety medication!
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"It's swings and roundabouts shag, I would love it that menopause and puberty were not coinciding over the past 10 years, buts that's my only regret about having a family later on. I had a career, went travelling, had a ton of experiences, then had kids. Loads of my school friends are grandparents now having started families at 20 and they are doing the looking after the grandkids cycle, I definitely chose the best path for me
Looking after grandchildren is a 'cycle' it's a privilege!"
ISN'T a Cycle |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 23 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I’d say when it feels right is the most important thing. I fell in love young’ish I suppose to you Shag my age was far too young . I started a family late according to you.
My love lasted ages. And my kids are doing damn good thank you. "
Yes, when it feels right is the most important thing too  |
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When I met my partner we had already had kids so that part of our lives had past. He was 63 and I was 41 when we met and we just knew we where ment to be and we where blissfully happy until sadly passed away aged 79 |
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