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I’ve spotted a friend on FAB
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While checking out the local updates on here a few weeks ago I noticed a profile of a lovely young lady on here after looking at her public photos and reading her bio the penny suddenly drops it is someone I’ve known a number of years and always felt we had a connection and I’m thrilled she is on here. The downside is she has set her age preference a number of years lower than myself which prevents me from messaging or even winking her. I’m not expecting her to give me the green light for any sort of fun but it would be interesting where the knowledge we are both on here would take us. I’m in regular contact with her on social media but I don’t feel it would be appropriate to mention it in a dm on there. Has anyone got any suggestions how best approach her. I respect her limits on here and I don’t want to spoil our present friendship. |
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I personally wouldn't appreciate or want to be contacted on here by someone who I interact with a lot on social platforms. And if filters are set that you don't fall into, then it's giving you your answer, you arent what the lady is looking for on here.
just keep it to the other platform you chat on.
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You say you respect her limits, so respect her limits and don't mention it. I'd hate to be contacted by someone I already knew away from here. This is a totally separate and private sphere from the rest of my life. |
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I guess the only issue could be if she spots you here, it could cause some panic on her part, so you may want to reassure her?
When I was at Uni, I spotted one of my Lecturers behaving nervously at the gay bar I was in (in my boy days). I freaked out and hid.
But then thought, I need to do the mature thing...
I casually approach him and said it was lovely to see him there and he has my assurance I will totally respect his discretion. I wished him a lovely evening and I'll now rejoin my friends. |
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Could it be that she too has searched locally and recognised you so has set her age limits to avoid you contacting her?
You say you value her friendship and have had a connection for years but nothing more has happened. Perhaps it's just meant to stay as it is and you both enjoy a good friendship.
Widen your search and leave her to it. |
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Just don't contact her O.P.
It's quite stalkerish here sometimes, the way people get excited because they recognise someone using the site.
If her settings are set to reject someone with your attributes - stay rejected.
Do people get this excited if you see someone in Tesco ?
It speaks a lot about people needing and wanting privacy. Just honour it. |
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Agree with everyone unfortunately I know you want to but it’s got tits and up written all over it. She’s probably seen that you have checked her out and if she hasn’t messaged you tells you all you need to know. |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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OP, you've had all the advice saying 'no', but we know what you're going to do. You're going to let the little brain take control and you're going to keep visiting her profile so she sees some one local is looking at her, and on other social media you're going to be more flirtatious.
What could possibly go wrong?  |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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"Taz has been recognised a few times in public and approached. She finds in creepy.
Respect her boundaries on here, "
That is insanely creepy and a bit scary to be honest. |
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I don't understand why people even need to ask..
We have recognised loads of people on here from good friends of my parents to old school friends of ours and it would never cross our minds to message them.
She has a age limit set for a reason and if the connection hasn't come to anything after all this time the odds are the connection could be one sided. |
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It sounds like she's doing her thing OP. Just people doing their thing, finding their thing. As exciting as it might be thinking you've found something out, swinging is about discretion, we'd have our faces on public if not. |
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Don’t do it, respect her right to privacy here (well you know what I mean).
If you have looked at her profile and fab’d some of her pictures (I would advice against that) then she will have seen that and if she’s interested she would check you out or contact you.
I walked passed someone I’ve been messaging on her in the street only last week and I recognised her she was with a friend and I just left her to it, no was was I going to speak to her in the street with her mates about that we chat on here.
Respect iand trust is a big thing and once it’s gone it’s gone. |
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By *8on33Man 15 weeks ago
winfrith |
"While checking out the local updates on here a few weeks ago I noticed a profile of a lovely young lady on here after looking at her public photos and reading her bio the penny suddenly drops it is someone I’ve known a number of years and always felt we had a connection and I’m thrilled she is on here. The downside is she has set her age preference a number of years lower than myself which prevents me from messaging or even winking her. I’m not expecting her to give me the green light for any sort of fun but it would be interesting where the knowledge we are both on here would take us. I’m in regular contact with her on social media but I don’t feel it would be appropriate to mention it in a dm on there. Has anyone got any suggestions how best approach her. I respect her limits on here and I don’t want to spoil our present friendship."
I'm with the ladies on this but although she'll know you're here does she know you are bi ?
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"While checking out the local updates on here a few weeks ago I noticed a profile of a lovely young lady on here after looking at her public photos and reading her bio the penny suddenly drops it is someone I’ve known a number of years and always felt we had a connection and I’m thrilled she is on here. The downside is she has set her age preference a number of years lower than myself which prevents me from messaging or even winking her. I’m not expecting her to give me the green light for any sort of fun but it would be interesting where the knowledge we are both on here would take us. I’m in regular contact with her on social media but I don’t feel it would be appropriate to mention it in a dm on there. Has anyone got any suggestions how best approach her. I respect her limits on here and I don’t want to spoil our present friendship."
If it helps, I had someone who I knew in real life, try and get my attention via the normal dating apps that I was on. I really didn't like it, especially as he was able to approach me in other ways. I didn't see him in that way either, nice person just not my type. Don't do it. Enjoy your friendship! |
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"Taz has been recognised a few times in public and approached. She finds in creepy.
Respect her boundaries on here,
That is insanely creepy and a bit scary to be honest."
Yep, thankfully she's not been on her own when it's happened and it's always been in a public space |
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By *bi HaiveMan 15 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
You have always felt you had a connection.
She may not of course.
As everyone has suggested. Leave her be on here. If you want to make any contact do it off site and don't mention Fab. At all. Ever. |
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Don't do it. If you're interested approach her through other channels...but if she's set age limits outside your range, I guess she's not interested. There's a lot of people I fancy who don't fancy me. Life is cruel, best to accept it. |
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