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Oh no, my inbox...
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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When people moan/complain about their inbox (as in messages received), do you find yourself agreeing and feeling sorry for them?
Or do you lightly, ever so lightly eyeroll and want to remind people about filters?
I can't decide if I'm being a bit of a heartless twunt here.
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By *ir tootMan 24 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross. "
If I had blocks up, I wouldn't of got some of the kind messages I've had.
You know who are you fellow fabbers.;) |
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I see inbox moaning as not-very-veiled humblebrags. “Boo-hoo I’m so popular” isn’t a sexy look on anyone.
On the other hand, moaning about quality of messages? That’s something I can feel sympathy for. |
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When people moan about their inbox I do seriously think it’s a brag because they can use filters and they are perfectly capable of sending first messages to people they’re interested in. It feels like laziness. And complaining feels like a humble brag.
Having said that. I respect the game. Like if you got it like that then you got it like that |
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"I see inbox moaning as not-very-veiled humblebrags. “Boo-hoo I’m so popular” isn’t a sexy look on anyone.
On the other hand, moaning about quality of messages? That’s something I can feel sympathy for."
Nah what! It’s like one mind. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross. "
But you can message people first... even with your filters closed. And then you can have all the chats and the grossness wouldn't be there...
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross. "
And yet I cannot message you. So how open minded are you really? Makes you wonder |
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I have a large amount of unopened messages there mainly if not all from lads who i have no intention of interacting with or meeting
Im always conflicted should i just leave unread or delete straight away haha!!
Ive had to tighten the filters due to the nasty messages i was getting sent! Its a tough line to gauge really |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross.
If I had blocks up, I wouldn't of got some of the kind messages I've had.
You know who are you fellow fabbers.;)"
But I've yet to read your complaints about messages received so... yeah. Keeping your filters open makes sense. There are some really lovely people on here.  |
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross.
And yet I cannot message you. So how open minded are you really? Makes you wonder "
Relatively open. Not any more though. I'm off here for the rest of today. Have fun. |
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If they had a tick box to stop dick pics coming in via messages we’d probably get no messages.
Do people not realise that it’s 50/50 that a guy will be opening that wanger 🤷🏻♂️
Well more 80/20 that I will actually! 👀
Anyway no, people don’t need to moan…they can actually put filters in place to stop so many.
Except no dick pics 😱
K |
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By *hilloutMan 24 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"When people moan about their inbox I do seriously think it’s a brag because they can use filters and they are perfectly capable of sending first messages to people they’re interested in. It feels like laziness. And complaining feels like a humble brag.
Having said that. I respect the game. Like if you got it like that then you got it like that"
I agree with this! 
Men usually experience the opposite. For many, unsolicited messages are a mirage😁 That inbox icon rarely goes yellow unless you're reminded to renew or have renewed your subscription 😂 |
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross.
And yet I cannot message you. So how open minded are you really? Makes you wonder
Relatively open. Not any more though. I'm off here for the rest of today. Have fun. "
No don’t go, Julie  we’re only playing |
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I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs |
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By *ir tootMan 24 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross.
If I had blocks up, I wouldn't of got some of the kind messages I've had.
You know who are you fellow fabbers.;)
But I've yet to read your complaints about messages received so... yeah. Keeping your filters open makes sense. There are some really lovely people on here. "
True, the only gross one I had was a guy asking for to me to put my cok in mouth.
So that's about it really.
There are!(for now)
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I see inbox moaning as not-very-veiled humblebrags. “Boo-hoo I’m so popular” isn’t a sexy look on anyone. "
Yeah the inspiration for this thread came from some recent posts and a status bemoaning the number of "thirsty" men messaging. And mischief.
"On the other hand, moaning about quality of messages? That’s something I can feel sympathy for."
That's different isn't it? There are some things that aren't ever acceptable to be sent, those truly grim messages. I think I'm rather privileged as I don't really receive those. Less than a handful after a decade. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Let’s be honest. In the grand scheme of life it’s not really a ‘biggy’ is it ?"
No; it's not. It's really not that deep. But it's deep enough for people to complain about so... kind of fair game to pass a bit of time.  |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"When people moan about their inbox I do seriously think it’s a brag because they can use filters and they are perfectly capable of sending first messages to people they’re interested in. It feels like laziness. And complaining feels like a humble brag.
Having said that. I respect the game. Like if you got it like that then you got it like that"
I really like that ManTart Snr and ManTart Jnr are agreeing on this. |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs "
All of this!!  |
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"Let’s be honest. In the grand scheme of life it’s not really a ‘biggy’ is it ?
No; it's not. It's really not that deep. But it's deep enough for people to complain about so... kind of fair game to pass a bit of time. "
Yes I am with you. I was saying getting too many mails isn’t the worse thing that can happen so don’t complain.
I wasn’t saying you starting a thread on that was not required. Ah you know what I mean ! |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I never complain about too many messages (maybe cos there are not too many), but rather love seeing the yellow 'you have mail' sign. Probably harking back to AOL days (or sleepless in Seattle).
OK, back to work, try not to flood my inbox whilst I am away  |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I like filters open for forum chat and if my profile is clear i think people should have at least read the first paragraph before messaging if they are saying they are interested in me. "
But you can have forum chat... I have forum chat. I like forum chat. I've never complained about my inbox. The two can co-exist harmoniously. Filters aid that for me. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Filters are good. If I was a woman on here. I'd block my inbox and just be pro active in messaging the people that interested me.
But I'm not. My inbox is spacious! "
Maybe women don't like spacious boxes. That must be it. |
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"When people moan/complain about their inbox (as in messages received), do you find yourself agreeing and feeling sorry for them?
Or do you lightly, ever so lightly eyeroll and want to remind people about filters?
I can't decide if I'm being a bit of a heartless twunt here.
"
I have an inbox? |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"If they had a tick box to stop dick pics coming in via messages we’d probably get no messages.
Do people not realise that it’s 50/50 that a guy will be opening that wanger 🤷🏻♂️
Well more 80/20 that I will actually! 👀
Anyway no, people don’t need to moan…they can actually put filters in place to stop so many.
Except no dick pics 😱
K"
There should be an option to opt in to receiving photos from new people shouldn't there? It would make the system smoother. No more unexpected penises when you're browsing and wanting to see what the curiously titled message has to offer. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"It can be a little overwhelming, when we made our joint profile, we hadn't even written a bio before we had double figures  "
Ah the fresh meat curse. A really good warding spell? Filters. I vaguely remember when I first joined. Quickly learnt how to handle my box. |
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By *hesblokeMan 24 weeks ago
Derbyshire village |
"It can be a little overwhelming, when we made our joint profile, we hadn't even written a bio before we had double figures
Ah the fresh meat curse. A really good warding spell? Filters. I vaguely remember when I first joined. Quickly learnt how to handle my box."
Yeah, didn't take long to tick a few boxes. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs "
100% agree with you Red! But maybe a bit less sweary because I'm not *that* bothered by it. Recent stuff has made me think about it and I thought this thread would help pass some time whilst I'm on hold. |
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"I don't take any notice of them tbh, I save my eye rolls for more important things than others who don't use their filters, am I a heartless twunt?🤔"
I don’t know you but I’m tryna taste your twunt. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Heartless twunt here. Just delete what doesn’t interest you, no need to make a song and dance about it. "
Maybe I am a heartless twunt. I think there are some things that shouldn't even begin to be sent and yeah, can understand why people complain about those things.
Other times, when I'm reading forum threads and it pops up (not related to the OP) I do think... why? |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I never complain about too many messages (maybe cos there are not too many), but rather love seeing the yellow 'you have mail' sign. Probably harking back to AOL days (or sleepless in Seattle).
OK, back to work, try not to flood my inbox whilst I am away "
The yellow box is beautiful isn't it? Sometimes I want to be a man who logs on and sees a message from someone and find out how I'll feel about it. That little bit of excitement because a vagina owner is messaging me. At least that's how it plays out in my head.:D |
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By *hesblokeMan 24 weeks ago
Derbyshire village |
"I never complain about too many messages (maybe cos there are not too many), but rather love seeing the yellow 'you have mail' sign. Probably harking back to AOL days (or sleepless in Seattle).
OK, back to work, try not to flood my inbox whilst I am away
The yellow box is beautiful isn't it? Sometimes I want to be a man who logs on and sees a message from someone and find out how I'll feel about it. That little bit of excitement because a vagina owner is messaging me. At least that's how it plays out in my head.:D"
It's quite rare |
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"Heartless twunt here. Just delete what doesn’t interest you, no need to make a song and dance about it.
Maybe I am a heartless twunt. I think there are some things that shouldn't even begin to be sent and yeah, can understand why people complain about those things.
Other times, when I'm reading forum threads and it pops up (not related to the OP) I do think... why?"
I completely agree - if you’re one, so am I.
As others have said, quality of message is different but volume, it’s no hardship to filter or delete obviously out of you’re stated preferences. I don’t see the point in complaining.
I’ve set my filters a bit outside of my age preferences to allow for forum games etc. then I have a pretty ruthless deletion policy. Deals with things nicely. |
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I take the hint
I do use filters, but like every woman here, I got an avalanche of msgs. Could be flattering but is annoying when they are tasteless, childhood, copy-paste and clearly, they haven't even looked at your profile. Half of the people who contact you, are the same you have replied politely in the past saying you are not interested. Even dough, they message again copying the exact paragraph they sent one month ago. However, I don't complain about it in my statements, I used to post that due to the number of msgs is impossible to reply to all. Despite that, I got several emails from guys fuming, because I hadn't answered their generous invitation to go in a rush to their distant hotel in the middle of the night.
So like most of the women here, I got hidden now and then.
Tbh, half a of the messages are hot, sweet, funny and charming. A lot from friends I keep a lovely correspondence with.
At the end, this place it's just pure fantasy, nothing really matters in the long teem, and the positive aspects prevail.
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"No-one should have to use filters just because some other morons can't read and only think with their dick."
No one *has* to.
They can choose to.
Look, we all know penis brain happens. It's the morning after, some boobs are seen and the next thing a message typed with one hand is sent.
Why not make it a more pleasant experience? You can't filter out the talking penises (well you could) but you can reduce the level penetrating your box. |
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By *aizyWoman 24 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I don't take any notice of them tbh, I save my eye rolls for more important things than others who don't use their filters, am I a heartless twunt?🤔
I don’t know you but I’m tryna taste your twunt. "
You are such a charmer, Pickles 🤗 |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I worry about other people's inboxes as much as I worry about the price of shellfish. I don't eat shellfish. 🤷♂️"
I'm not worried. I don't think anyone is worried. Definitely don't worry about the price of shellfish if you don't eat it. Bit pointless really. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I don't take any notice of them tbh, I save my eye rolls for more important things than others who don't use their filters, am I a heartless twunt?🤔"
Maybe. Do you feel like you are Daizy? You don't like cheese so maybe... you don't have a heart.
You're too likeable to be a twunt though. |
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"No-one should have to use filters just because some other morons can't read and only think with their dick.
No one *has* to.
They can choose to.
Look, we all know penis brain happens. It's the morning after, some boobs are seen and the next thing a message typed with one hand is sent.
Why not make it a more pleasant experience? You can't filter out the talking penises (well you could) but you can reduce the level penetrating your box."
People do but you will always have others complaining...such is fab.
Live and let live. |
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"Heartless twunt here. Just delete what doesn’t interest you, no need to make a song and dance about it. "
This.
So much this.
I don’t even eye roll at humblebrag complaints anymore, I just file the poster under twat. |
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"If they had a tick box to stop dick pics coming in via messages we’d probably get no messages.
Do people not realise that it’s 50/50 that a guy will be opening that wanger 🤷🏻♂️
Well more 80/20 that I will actually! 👀
Anyway no, people don’t need to moan…they can actually put filters in place to stop so many.
Except no dick pics 😱
K
There should be an option to opt in to receiving photos from new people shouldn't there? It would make the system smoother. No more unexpected penises when you're browsing and wanting to see what the curiously titled message has to offer."
My suggestion (and what I'd do were I in charge of such things) would be to add filters for what category of photo you'll allow in messages. You have to select the category they belong to when uploading them anyway, so the data's already there. |
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"I don't take any notice of them tbh, I save my eye rolls for more important things than others who don't use their filters, am I a heartless twunt?🤔
I don’t know you but I’m tryna taste your twunt.
You are such a charmer, Pickles 🤗"
oh that wasn’t me being charming. Though I can be charming if you want. |
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"I have now adopted the word ‘twunt’ into my vocabulary. Thank you xx"
Edged it gently into your box, as it were?
.
"… but you can reduce the level penetrating your box."
I see you Meli. I see what you’re doing. |
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I know I mention it now and again in response to queries that are relevant, but I don't think I openly complain about it or initiate the topic.
I'm aware I could reduce the incoming trash with filters, but that cones at the risk of missing the good party invites and people I've met at events being able to reach out to reconnect afterwards.
I made my choice. I live with it as gracefully as I can.
There are definitely times I have regrets about this method. |
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I must be a hearless twenty too.. and a hypocritical one as I moan about my lack of messages.
I mean,seriously I stayed off here for 5 weeks, and came back to 2 messages, and 1 of those was my wife!! |
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I do feel for some that do not get replies and seem to have made an effort it's tough especially single guys.
With the filters thing like on my singles it bugs me when the bloke of the couple wants to meet, it's extremely clear I don't meet men or men Half's of couples so it's irritating (moreso because they seem to get offended at a no thank you or did you read my profile) now yes I can block all couples but I don't want to because I do have some that are lovely and some where the lady half doesn't have a singles profile, then there's events and invites too.
So I'll just moan about the sulky men half rather than blocking, or maybe I should just stop giving the polite no thanks then I wouldn't deal with a bruised ego?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I never complain about too many messages (maybe cos there are not too many), but rather love seeing the yellow 'you have mail' sign. Probably harking back to AOL days (or sleepless in Seattle).
OK, back to work, try not to flood my inbox whilst I am away
The yellow box is beautiful isn't it? Sometimes I want to be a man who logs on and sees a message from someone and find out how I'll feel about it. That little bit of excitement because a vagina owner is messaging me. At least that's how it plays out in my head.:D"
It is playing out correctly in your head. I would not swap positions with you, the idea of unfiltered dick and gross messages really does not appeal  |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I take the hint
I do use filters, but like every woman here, I got an avalanche of msgs. Could be flattering but is annoying when they are tasteless, childhood, copy-paste and clearly, they haven't even looked at your profile. Half of the people who contact you, are the same you have replied politely in the past saying you are not interested. Even dough, they message again copying the exact paragraph they sent one month ago. However, I don't complain about it in my statements, I used to post that due to the number of msgs is impossible to reply to all. Despite that, I got several emails from guys fuming, because I hadn't answered their generous invitation to go in a rush to their distant hotel in the middle of the night.
So like most of the women here, I got hidden now and then.
Tbh, half a of the messages are hot, sweet, funny and charming. A lot from friends I keep a lovely correspondence with.
At the end, this place it's just pure fantasy, nothing really matters in the long teem, and the positive aspects prevail.
"
The positive aspects do prevail don't they? There are some truly lovely positive things about being on Fab.
Most of the time I focus on those and post nauseatingly happy stuff but I was bored and waiting and feeling a tad mischievous so... et voila. :D
Our personal experiences, to reply seriously and not as tongue in cheek, definitely affect how we view Fab. The messages we receive, the ones we wish we hadn't. I know I'm rather fortunate with my box and perhaps if I was less so and less NRE-ing around I'd grumble. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"Look, we've all been there.
You have to mass delete but also put a status up saying you've had to mass delete and tell people to message again if their message was deleted without being read."
Preach YOLO*.
Toughest battles given to the bravest soldiers and all that.
*Speaking of battles, when's that username change happening? |
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"Heartless twunt 😘
I like to have my filters relatively open to chat to people from the forums. The stuff that comes alongside that is gross.
But you can message people first... even with your filters closed. And then you can have all the chats and the grossness wouldn't be there...
"
As long as those people aren't locked down |
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I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
On the wrong bloody account. FFS Julie. |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
I'm with you, like it's our fault for getting shitty messages we should block everyone because of a few dicks that just isn't right..... Why should we lose out on potential messages just because some people can't behave?
Maybe people should learn to be adults and not pricks then all would be good.
But no it's not using filters that's the issue 😂🙄
Mrs |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it.
On the wrong bloody account. FFS Julie. "
Oh Julie ❤️ |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
Love you ♥️ |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I do feel for some that do not get replies and seem to have made an effort it's tough especially single guys.
With the filters thing like on my singles it bugs me when the bloke of the couple wants to meet, it's extremely clear I don't meet men or men Half's of couples so it's irritating (moreso because they seem to get offended at a no thank you or did you read my profile) now yes I can block all couples but I don't want to because I do have some that are lovely and some where the lady half doesn't have a singles profile, then there's events and invites too.
So I'll just moan about the sulky men half rather than blocking, or maybe I should just stop giving the polite no thanks then I wouldn't deal with a bruised ego?
Mrs "
Moan if you want to, no one is stopping you. It's a forum to discuss things. And that includes having a moan, if you want to. |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
Those ones can be really shitty but you can usually get the jist from the preview without even opening the message.
Just delete unread, save yourself the thoughts on it.
We’ve had no filters for years now.
I delete everything unread that doesn’t come from a profile that looks good or have a picture attached or has a crappy sounding opening line.
We welcome unsolicited mail but only pay attention to the stuff that’s relevant. |
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How do you filter out the really grim messages whilst still allowing the not grim messages? That's mainly our issue, but we just delete and ignore or report as we think fit.
Also, there's a reason we rarely moan outwardly about messages.
So this isn't a moan, just a statement of stuff. |
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I stand by what I said. I think Julie makes a good point about the types of messages you receive. Especially for women it must be tough. But we all have a duty to protect ourselves and our peace. It’s not your fault if you receive horrible messages or hundreds of messages. Not in any way. But it’s something that I think we’re all aware happens and so, what many do is, they block men from messaging.
In my real life there are things I shouldn’t have to do to keep myself safe. And if I don’t do them it’s not my fault if something happens to me. But they’re things that I choose to do to protect myself and my peace.
Basically do or do not. It’s not your fault. But complaining about it, is often, not always, *on fab*, a ‘god it’s exhausting being pretty’ thing. Especially as plenty of others talk of getting barely any messages even without blocking men. |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs "
Love this. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
Julie. It's awful you received that. I had no idea you received that because... I don't see your inbox.
I've said numerous times, through out the thread, about certain content never being acceptable and it's nothing to do with that sort of message. That's not victim blaming. Nor is it saying you are at fault and some how deserve to receive that kind of message.
What I do understand though? Timing, being more sensitive, can affect how you read something. What you're more likely to take notice of being said in a thread. I won't say confirmation bias but our mood definitely affects our reading.
I hope you don't receive another message like that. Even if your filters are as open as a very open box. No one deserves that. And I'm happy to repeat that until... I get bored of the thread. :D Which was very much started without knowledge of your situation, without it being "too deep". |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I never complain about too many messages (maybe cos there are not too many), but rather love seeing the yellow 'you have mail' sign. Probably harking back to AOL days (or sleepless in Seattle).
OK, back to work, try not to flood my inbox whilst I am away
The yellow box is beautiful isn't it? Sometimes I want to be a man who logs on and sees a message from someone and find out how I'll feel about it. That little bit of excitement because a vagina owner is messaging me. At least that's how it plays out in my head.:D
It is playing out correctly in your head. I would not swap positions with you, the idea of unfiltered dick and gross messages really does not appeal "
I don't get unfiltered dick.  I think I'd spend far less time on the forums if I did. |
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"I am possibly over sensitive today. Possibly in a bad mood. But the timing of this thread coming straight after receiving a truly horrible message hit a nerve. The whole vibe of the thread feels a little victim blamey if I'm honest. Like it's *my* fault for having filters open.
Needed to come back and say it. "
Sorry to read this. I'd taken the thread differently, about volume rather than content. Don't think anyone was suggesting people should have to tolerate rude or abusive messages, and certainly not that they are responsible for those they receive.
I know - easy for me to say, given I am very rarely on the receiving end of any truly unpleasant messages, rather than the merely annoying. |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs
Love this. "
I don't know, it's the cruel truth, but also the typical offender's defence “she was asking for it” vibe 
I feel a kind of misogyny here, not just in the thread, but on this site. But it's my fault, I am asking for it by exposing myself. |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs
Love this.
I don't know, it's the cruel truth, but also the typical offender's defence “she was asking for it” vibe
I feel a kind of misogyny here, not just in the thread, but on this site. But it's my fault, I am asking for it by exposing myself. "
Oh don’t talk about misogyny on fab. You’ll upset the men |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs
Love this.
I don't know, it's the cruel truth, but also the typical offender's defence “she was asking for it” vibe
I feel a kind of misogyny here, not just in the thread, but on this site. But it's my fault, I am asking for it by exposing myself. "
I'm feeling this too here, not just this particular thread but all over fab which saddens me.
Mrs |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"I'd taken the thread differently, about volume rather than content. Don't think anyone was suggesting people should have to tolerate rude or abusive messages, and certainly not that they are responsible for those they receive.
I know - easy for me to say, given I am very rarely on the receiving end of any truly unpleasant messages, rather than the merely annoying."
That was the intent. I was also rather enjoying having fun with language until Rosie called me out.
No receiver is responsible for abusive messages on here. Vagina splayed open, behind knickers. Man, woman, trans, CD, TV. Doesn't make a difference. |
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"I'd taken the thread differently, about volume rather than content. Don't think anyone was suggesting people should have to tolerate rude or abusive messages, and certainly not that they are responsible for those they receive.
I know - easy for me to say, given I am very rarely on the receiving end of any truly unpleasant messages, rather than the merely annoying.
That was the intent. I was also rather enjoying having fun with language until Rosie called me out.
No receiver is responsible for abusive messages on here. Vagina splayed open, behind knickers. Man, woman, trans, CD, TV. Doesn't make a difference. "
I took the thread about general messages and complaining (abusive messages etc not just quantity) I'm sure quite a few have, it wasn't stated.
Mrs
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs
Love this.
I don't know, it's the cruel truth, but also the typical offender's defence “she was asking for it” vibe
I feel a kind of misogyny here, not just in the thread, but on this site. But it's my fault, I am asking for it by exposing myself.
Oh don’t talk about misogyny on fab. You’ll upset the men "
Not so fun when it's coming from women though. |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I'd taken the thread differently, about volume rather than content. Don't think anyone was suggesting people should have to tolerate rude or abusive messages, and certainly not that they are responsible for those they receive.
I know - easy for me to say, given I am very rarely on the receiving end of any truly unpleasant messages, rather than the merely annoying.
That was the intent. I was also rather enjoying having fun with language until Rosie called me out.
No receiver is responsible for abusive messages on here. Vagina splayed open, behind knickers. Man, woman, trans, CD, TV. Doesn't make a difference.
I took the thread about general messages and complaining (abusive messages etc not just quantity) I'm sure quite a few have, it wasn't stated.
Mrs
"
And yet I did state several times it wasn't about that kind of message...
"I think there are some things that shouldn't even begin to be sent and yeah, can understand why people complain about those things."
"There are some things that aren't ever acceptable to be sent, those truly grim messages."
Even unexpected penis photos weren't handled in too jokey a manner - "No more unexpected penises when you're browsing and wanting to see what the curiously titled message has to offer."
I do see that timing and it being something of a "messy", lighthearted approach to a sensitive topic can affect how we read a thread. |
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"I'd taken the thread differently, about volume rather than content. Don't think anyone was suggesting people should have to tolerate rude or abusive messages, and certainly not that they are responsible for those they receive.
I know - easy for me to say, given I am very rarely on the receiving end of any truly unpleasant messages, rather than the merely annoying.
That was the intent. I was also rather enjoying having fun with language until Rosie called me out.
No receiver is responsible for abusive messages on here. Vagina splayed open, behind knickers. Man, woman, trans, CD, TV. Doesn't make a difference.
I took the thread about general messages and complaining (abusive messages etc not just quantity) I'm sure quite a few have, it wasn't stated.
Mrs
And yet I did state several times it wasn't about that kind of message...
"I think there are some things that shouldn't even begin to be sent and yeah, can understand why people complain about those things."
"There are some things that aren't ever acceptable to be sent, those truly grim messages."
Even unexpected penis photos weren't handled in too jokey a manner - "No more unexpected penises when you're browsing and wanting to see what the curiously titled message has to offer."
I do see that timing and it being something of a "messy", lighthearted approach to a sensitive topic can affect how we read a thread. "
I read the post, it isn't clear & doesn't state qty. I didn't shift through all the comments, probably my fault too.
Mrs |
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By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
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"How do you filter out the really grim messages whilst still allowing the not grim messages? That's mainly our issue, but we just delete and ignore or report as we think fit.
Also, there's a reason we rarely moan outwardly about messages.
So this isn't a moan, just a statement of stuff. "
I'm not sure how you do. I don't think there's an easy solution.
You can adopt a Prey approach and see how that fares. Or you block everyone and see how you fare doing that. Kind of a rock and hard place. For me, filters work. Have done for a decade. My abusive messages I can count on one hand. I'm also rather privileged with that.
I'm not reading it as a moan, don't worry. |
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"How do you filter out the really grim messages whilst still allowing the not grim messages? That's mainly our issue, but we just delete and ignore or report as we think fit.
Also, there's a reason we rarely moan outwardly about messages.
So this isn't a moan, just a statement of stuff.
I'm not sure how you do. I don't think there's an easy solution.
You can adopt a Prey approach and see how that fares. Or you block everyone and see how you fare doing that. Kind of a rock and hard place. For me, filters work. Have done for a decade. My abusive messages I can count on one hand. I'm also rather privileged with that.
I'm not reading it as a moan, don't worry. "
If I read another one about my status as a wheelchair user or Mr KC as the husband of a disabled woman, I might actually puke.
I'm made of tough stuff. My therapist said so (I say, without a hint of irony). |
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"I've said it often, and I'll say it again so maybe folk will finally take note.
Use the bloody filters!
No one gives a shit that you've got hundreds of messages!
You've got your tits out.and You’ve got your minge out.
Men like porn.
It don't mean you're a goddess, ffs
Love this.
I don't know, it's the cruel truth, but also the typical offender's defence “she was asking for it” vibe
I feel a kind of misogyny here, not just in the thread, but on this site. But it's my fault, I am asking for it by exposing myself.
Oh don’t talk about misogyny on fab. You’ll upset the men
Not so fun when it's coming from women though. "
The misogyny you mean?
I don’t know because I’m not a woman. But I empathise. It’s shit when it’s your own people. |
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I eyeroll and want to remind them about filters and the fact that on here, we all only have the ability to control our own behaviour and the tools to make fab, a website we've actively chosen to join, a more pleasant experience for us as individuals |
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"The ladies complain about the numbers of incoming messages, I look at my empty inbox (I've blocked men) and wonder why I should feel sympathy?
Unblock men for a bit. You’ll feel sympathy. "
Ok you convinced me pickle
I did get one awful unsolicited message from a guy offering to do something for me, hence why I blocked all the men. I get your point. |
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"I think, what? I have zero unread messages. Why do you have so many? want me to send you dick pics from all my accounts?
I'll add them to the hundreds I have already 🙂"
I haven’t sent you hundreds. Maybe ONE hundred. |
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