FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Have you give up on dating sites?
Have you give up on dating sites?
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I’ve given up on dating sites… I use fab as a dating site instead. Take a look at my profile - it’s quite heavy but it’s what I’m after!
Dating sites were too vanilla, or (much like fab) just guys wanting one thing and then getting offended when it doesn’t happen |
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Yes ive given up with them. Though never stayed on any longer than a week previously. Fab is the only one that ive been on forever. I did meet my last ling term partner here and swinging is part of my life so any potential relationship would need to embrace that to work. |
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I tried one once a few years ago and found it really difficult. I deleted it after 48 hours.
If I want to start dating in the future I might consider using one again, but I'd rather use Fab. I'm not overly optimistic about my ENM proclivities being happily accepted by matches on vanilla dating sites. |
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"I tried one once a few years ago and found it really difficult. I deleted it after 48 hours.
If I want to start dating in the future I might consider using one again, but I'd rather use Fab. I'm not overly optimistic about my ENM proclivities being happily accepted by matches on vanilla dating sites."
F E E L D  |
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"I tried one once a few years ago and found it really difficult. I deleted it after 48 hours.
If I want to start dating in the future I might consider using one again, but I'd rather use Fab. I'm not overly optimistic about my ENM proclivities being happily accepted by matches on vanilla dating sites.
F E E L D "
In rural North Yorkshire? There'll only be about 3 people on there in the whole county  |
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"I tried one once a few years ago and found it really difficult. I deleted it after 48 hours.
If I want to start dating in the future I might consider using one again, but I'd rather use Fab. I'm not overly optimistic about my ENM proclivities being happily accepted by matches on vanilla dating sites.
F E E L D
In rural North Yorkshire? There'll only be about 3 people on there in the whole county "
Explore London.
See if you find any pickles you want to tickle   |
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Used a Couple in the Past and Met a couple of Ladies .. (Hell, Yahoo chat back in 96 I found my 1st Ex-wife lol) and was on a couple of sites early this year definitely had more luck on those than here but as someone previously mentioned, You still get the idiots on those sites |
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I’ve been internet dating for 12 years with sporadic success (depending on what you regard as success - I’m currently single). I had a bloody good go this year and, whilst I did date someone for about two months, I had to go back online when it didn’t work out.
I have now officially given up. I have a self-imposed parameter which massively narrows the field, but it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’m going to enjoy the next few months as a single fellow and see what delights fab brings. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"I’ve been internet dating for 12 years with sporadic success (depending on what you regard as success - I’m currently single). I had a bloody good go this year and, whilst I did date someone for about two months, I had to go back online when it didn’t work out.
I have now officially given up. I have a self-imposed parameter which massively narrows the field, but it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’m going to enjoy the next few months as a single fellow and see what delights fab brings."
Gutted for you mate. |
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"I’ve been internet dating for 12 years with sporadic success (depending on what you regard as success - I’m currently single). I had a bloody good go this year and, whilst I did date someone for about two months, I had to go back online when it didn’t work out.
I have now officially given up. I have a self-imposed parameter which massively narrows the field, but it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’m going to enjoy the next few months as a single fellow and see what delights fab brings.
Gutted for you mate. "
Thanks woody  It’s disappointing but I’m not unhappy. |
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I only use one dating site.the free version has provided oodles of sex compared with Fab.
Not unusual for a first date to turn out to be a 'hole in one'.
Used to use neswpaper columns before they turned into premium rate fonefests. Equally fruitful. |
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Gave up on dating sites, I think they are more about milking money from you than actually going on a date. Apparently the ratio of men to women on them is 10 men for every woman. Which is absurd. But a lot of married/attached men on there too. Who'd want to pay for that crap?
I prefer single events. Or going to a club. You at least meet people and talk face to face. |
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I’m newly single after 15 years, and I gave up on dating sites after a week. I found that I wasn’t attracted to 99% of people on there.
Then the 1% I did like, I didn’t feel any kind of desire to talk to them because the conversation was quite bland and there seems to be some kind of tension to convo’s (almost like women expect you to make all the effort).
Maybe I’ll try again in a few months time, but for now I’ve realised I’m not in the mood for dating. |
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I've never bothered with them - signed up a couple of times, realised quickly they're not for me and deleted.
Fab gives me what I'm looking for. If I ever entered into another relationship I'd want it to be with someone on the scene so I don't see the point of using vanilla sites. |
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"It’s crazy to me that people think fab is better than dating apps for meeting people?
And dating apps are better for sex  "
There’s some dating apps that are easier to to find relationships and good sex on than fab 😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"Dating apps passed me by. I still pick up men at bus stops 🚌
Seems to work for bus drivers as well
they have a 100% success rate "
What do good East Sussex girls use for protection on a Saturday night?
A bus shelter! |
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"It’s crazy to me that people think fab is better than dating apps for meeting people?
And dating apps are better for sex
There’s some dating apps that are easier to to find relationships and good sex on than fab 😂"
Pickle like which ones?
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I find the term 'dating app' a misnomer. Recently I have used a few of the 'vanilla' variety and over the past few weeks I have had around a dozen meets and all of nearly all of them resulted in first date/meet sex.
If the truth be told I do a lot better on those apps than I ever have done on FAB even though I make it very clear from the outset what I am looking for. I haven't quite worked out why this is.
I think it maybe down to the fact that, speaking for myself, conversations on dating apps tend to start off a lot more vanilla and it gives you a chance to get to know one another before moving onto the naughty stuff.
On FAB a lot of first messages are of the 'how big are you' or 'can you repeat' ilk. That doesn't work so well for me.
Thoughts welcome. |
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"Dating apps passed me by. I still pick up men at bus stops 🚌
Seems to work for bus drivers as well
they have a 100% success rate
What do good East Sussex girls use for protection on a Saturday night?
A bus shelter!"
That was in the days before these darn glass abominations. Bring back proper wooden bus shelters with benches to put your bottle of cider on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"I’ve been internet dating for 12 years with sporadic success (depending on what you regard as success - I’m currently single). I had a bloody good go this year and, whilst I did date someone for about two months, I had to go back online when it didn’t work out.
I have now officially given up. I have a self-imposed parameter which massively narrows the field, but it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’m going to enjoy the next few months as a single fellow and see what delights fab brings.
Gutted for you mate.
Thanks woody It’s disappointing but I’m not unhappy."
……
So she’s available?……. 😏 |
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So i am on the one with the flame icon. And i did meet some guys there when returning to single life after a very long time. I did eventually evolve what i want to ENM. And i even still see a couple of guys i meet from there.
And actually this site was mentioned by someone i had matched with on there. So i kind of migrated over cos it fits what i want better. I still flick through the other site on occasion but cos i use free version there a lot of guys wanting what i dont, monogamy, more kids etc. So i cant stay there that long.
Also found cos i put open to exploring and ENM on my profile there it means married guys think im ok for cheating with which (without any form of judgement) not what i want |
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I found most guys were on here, and even if they weren't, despite me looking to date or for something more serious, all the chat turned sexual in the first 5 messages.
No one knows how to have a normal conversation! |
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Never been on one
I met my first gf and my ex Mrs through traditional means (1 through friends, 1 through family)
The others are relationships that have flourished after meeting on sites like this |
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"I found most guys were on here, and even if they weren't, despite me looking to date or for something more serious, all the chat turned sexual in the first 5 messages.
No one knows how to have a normal conversation! "
Mimi perhaps you should unload the guy first, and then when he's calmed down, you can have a normal conversation. I'm courageously willing to be the trial guinea pig.
It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.  |
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I am on Hinge. I get about one match a week. But most women don't even respond to the first message. Even the ones who respond seem to prefer chatting on the app forever instead of meeting in a coffee shop. I have probably had 2 people with whom I had in-person dates this year. While they weren't a good match for me, I did enjoy the meets.
I haven't completely given up. But not having my hopes up either. |
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I tried a few a couple of years ago.
I was never particularly seeking so much as just seeing what was out there.
And the absolute dissonance between profiles of people on there and the same people's profiles on places like here made me far too aware of how much people lie to try to get what they want.
So I sacked them off. But, I don't know if I count if I wasn't really interested in the first place. |
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By *rjamesMan 13 weeks ago
Sheffield |
"I tried one once a few years ago and found it really difficult. I deleted it after 48 hours.
If I want to start dating in the future I might consider using one again, but I'd rather use Fab. I'm not overly optimistic about my ENM proclivities being happily accepted by matches on vanilla dating sites."
The mainstream apps are more advanced these days, with coded-in options to specify to your heart's content. It may still be a needle/haystack situation, but worth a shot; I found a glorious soul recently on one particular app in a part of the world I was not expecting to. |
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I also believe, we as a society are going through a big choice fatigue and it's happening in dating apps too. No matter who you match with, you will always see someone else you are more attracted to. And you end up being stuck in the cycle forever. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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I've used them in the past with some success (if you call meeting my ex wife success) but I'm struggling this time round. Probably complicated by the fact I don't want normal or vanilla again.
I'm thinking club socials are the way forward. |
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I'm currently signed onto 3 dating apps and have been since Jan this year.
I only use the free version on each one so I don't see any likes.
To date I've had a total of zero matches, so I can't even get a conversation started.
For me Fab has been a bloody awesome experience.
People actually engage with me on Fab and everyone I've been lucky enough meet through socials or meets has been a character with a great story.
I love Fab,  😁😁
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"Fab is no different to every dating site to be honest. The community is just open to express themselves sexually and is more discreet. "
Personally I would disagree, I see it as a swinging site and would never have considered here if I didn't join as a couple. Now I just use the forum and have made a few friends on here single it became a single profile |
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I like the way fab works. I don't like any of the dating apps I've signed up to. I just don't like the whole swiping matching thing. Never had a decent conversation with anyone on a dating app. Maybe it's me🤷♀️ |
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"I like the way fab works. I don't like any of the dating apps I've signed up to. I just don't like the whole swiping matching thing. Never had a decent conversation with anyone on a dating app. Maybe it's me🤷♀️"
I met my ex on a dating since in 2009 but things are different now. Don't like the swipe thing either |
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"FAB is great for COUPLES but as a Single man?. It's a mountain to climb if you don't look the part as a POC or if you have nothing to offer e.g BWC, BBC. "
Yeah we had a great run as a couple and to be honest most contacted us. But never contact a single girl regarding anything other then social events and have zero interest in MMF so don't contact couples |
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When I was ready again a hit a few of the free mainstream ones. It was a mixed experience. It turns out it takes a lot of hard work to find what your looking for. It doesn't fall on your plate, you have to graft. Had a fair share of weirdness (the wrong kind), ghosting and just messing about.
However the plus side. Although it was hard work I had some really nice dates, some nice experiences and couple of brief flings. Also as to be expected some that didn't go too well. But nothing horrid or disastrous. Some lovely dates and although often I didn't find the chemistry I was looking for it was nice to have dates with some really lovely women. Plus talking to one that maybe had potential for a little more but looking deeper we couldn't align on our veiws on sexual non-monogamy, hense although we talked for a long time I decided it was fruitless to meet with relationship being the goal. It reminded me after my ex wife there are some good women out there and I that I was desirable. Also with the lady with more conventional views on monogamy it showed me there are actual adults out there who can have open and mature conversations with without judgment and with logic.
So despite a bit draining it was a positive experience and educational.
However coming back to it being draining I was done after about 10 months. Gave up on finding relationships and just concentrated on my kids, my intrests and fulfilling my adult needs with the occasional no strings things and a couple of fwb. Oddly enough when I had given up I found what I was looking for when I wasn't looking. Met My Girl on here over 6 years ago. Both single parents looking to simply meet of sexual needs and the rest is history. |
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Used to use them. Cba anymore.
I prefer fab as the mentality is different in the attitude to sex. Not that people are interested in dating on here in my personal experience.
Although many on dating sites are only after ‘fun’. Kinda defeats the point of being on a dating site if youre just after sex. |
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By *a LunaWoman 13 weeks ago
South Wales |
Haven’t been on one in years now. I found them full of folk looking for commitment free sex. Well I can get that anywhere, that’s not what I joined a dating site for!
Also, I’d take breaks and go back on and the same profiles would be there, active, even years later. So I decided to leave it all up to fate. I’ll either meet someone who gets me or I won’t. |
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"Haven’t been on one in years now. I found them full of folk looking for commitment free sex. Well I can get that anywhere, that’s not what I joined a dating site for!
Also, I’d take breaks and go back on and the same profiles would be there, active, even years later. So I decided to leave it all up to fate. I’ll either meet someone who gets me or I won’t."
What a catch |
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By *ylo7Man 13 weeks ago
Manchester |
"But what specific dating sites are you talking about? Because Tinder, Bumble, Hinge are different. I talk to a lot more women on Hinge then say Bumble where I get hardly any"
Do you pay the prices on the apps? |
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"But what specific dating sites are you talking about? Because Tinder, Bumble, Hinge are different. I talk to a lot more women on Hinge then say Bumble where I get hardly any
Do you pay the prices on the apps? "
well I initially paid for both which I stopped a while ago, don't pay for either now |
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By *HUSH-Man 13 weeks ago
London |
Still use Hinge. Currently talking with someone I met on there and I’m going to ask her out.
You’ve got to get off the app quite quickly to something like WhatsApp within a few days and ask them on a date within a week otherwise it tends to fizzle out. |
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"Still use Hinge. Currently talking with someone I met on there and I’m going to ask her out.
You’ve got to get off the app quite quickly to something like WhatsApp within a few days and ask them on a date within a week otherwise it tends to fizzle out."
I don't give my number out, because they're even worse off the apps!
But yes to meeting in the first week or so. Saves a lot of time! |
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By *opinovMan 13 weeks ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
Yes, totally given up on them. They're nothing but a wind up to skin you of your money... a total con. Mind you, after the string-alongs I've had here too, I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't much better here either. |
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By *HUSH-Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"Still use Hinge. Currently talking with someone I met on there and I’m going to ask her out.
You’ve got to get off the app quite quickly to something like WhatsApp within a few days and ask them on a date within a week otherwise it tends to fizzle out.
I don't give my number out, because they're even worse off the apps!
But yes to meeting in the first week or so. Saves a lot of time!"
That’s fair.
Getting on a date early though is key. I like the nervous excitement of meeting in person, getting to know someone online doesn’t have the same buzz.
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I’m on a couple. My most recent dates haven’t been great though.
I find they are full of clingy men or men that just want a shag but are too afraid to admit that. Both of those are a turn off.
Also, I need to meet within a week tops otherwise I get bored. I don’t want a penpal. |
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"But what specific dating sites are you talking about? Because Tinder, Bumble, Hinge are different. I talk to a lot more women on Hinge then say Bumble where I get hardly any"
Feeld and hinge and okcupid are the best for me. Lots more poly people |
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Popped onto the one that I'm still a member of, 2 new girls withing one mile of me just joined and smoking hot!
Unfortunately they are just an ad for a paid porn site. I don't think the admins there like me  |
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By *yzykMan 12 weeks ago
Stirlingshire |
[quoteI find the term 'dating app' a misnomer. Recently I have used a few of the 'vanilla' variety and over the past few weeks I have had around a dozen meets and all of nearly all of them resulted in first date/meet sex]
This
Never even had a reply to a message on here, never mind a meet, unlike the so-called vanilla sites
Seems to be that folk on them are game for fun but just don't want to broadcast it
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Currently on 2 sites looking for dating/relationship. However if find it difficult to bring up the subject of potential swinging as it tends to put people off ot they just think you want sex.
I think a Fab dating app would be ideal for likeminded individuals. I am currently looking for someone thru fab with a view to dating..
Anyone else on here open to the same? Do check out my profile and if it sparks an interest drop me a msg |
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"Currently on one dating site which seems to be full of Fabbers. Once men recognise me off here, they assume I'm just after sex
 "
shame there isn’t a dating section on fab, for those of us that would like more than just sex. |
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"Currently on one dating site which seems to be full of Fabbers. Once men recognise me off here, they assume I'm just after sex
shame there isn’t a dating section on fab, for those of us that would like more than just sex."
This is what fab needs, I’m on a few dating sites too looking for an actual dates and a relationship and when you get recognised from Fab they think you just want sex. If there was a dating section on fab that would be ideal for the genuine people  |
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By *ezoMan 6 weeks ago
The Kingdom |
Tried a few different matchmaking services, speed dating and even dating sites.
The best, after years, was one or two bits of conversations on a dating site but I had to lead the conversation. I engaged and asked about themselves, all they did was reply.
Really gave the impression they were just being polite in responding. |
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By *ornycougaWoman 6 weeks ago
MOROCCO Wherever I lay my hat |
"Gave up dating sites after we met on Bumble 😉😍"
Awww I love a feel good story!
Yes - I tried Bumble but deleted it after a guy asked for nudes after a couple of messages. I was there to build a relationship with someone who hadn't actually seen me naked before we met. I decided to give up and stick to the familiarity and 'honesty' of Fab |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I've given up on everything, to be honest. Won't be long until I remove myself from all apps and sites, just become a sad loner who develops relationships through porn. 😆 |
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As a rule of thumb I don't do very well on dating apps, my online banter is pretty poor and I'm no Brad Pitt however
I met a lovely lassie on the one that rhymes with finder, had a fantastic 5 months with her until she sadly passed away.
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I’m a fan of dating apps in general because they suit how I like to approach meeting people. I seem to be no good at doing it organically. However, some are better than others in terms of functionality and only some suit what I’m looking for ie the image others hold and consequently the people on them.
I’ve found they need patience, effort and resilience. I have met some great people, some of whom I dated. Later this year I’ll go back on because I really want to meet someone.
It can be frustrating because of what others have posted - all the disingenuous people. I feel like any woman I match with and talk to is already wanting me to prove I’m not a time waster and have matching intentions. That’s starting from a negative position. But I guess that’s the online world anywhere and won’t change, so I have to just suck it up and get on with it. |
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"I was never really on them aside from an alternative one, and it didn't go well... You? "
Maybe 5 years ago I got dates from people each clearly didn't either want to take it further or want sex. But I enjoyed the social side. I have tried various dating and swinging sites since lockdown and being single again and had no joy. Can't find the sweet spot for my age group. Not keen on the club scene alone. |
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By *r SxxMan 6 weeks ago
ashford |
I'm on a few apps, but tbh, I mostly go on when I'm bored at work! A few boredom swipes lol
Although I do actually use them if I'm visiting somewhere new, can be nice to chat to a local or have a tour guide for your visit |
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"Pink and I met on a well known dating site 6 years ago and are happily married now. "
It is nice to know that they are not all a complete waste of time that sublimely con guys into spending money...
Sorry the cynic in me had to say it |
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By *eyeYCouple 6 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Gave up dating sites after we met on Bumble 😉😍
Awww I love a feel good story!
Yes - I tried Bumble but deleted it after a guy asked for nudes after a couple of messages. I was there to build a relationship with someone who hadn't actually seen me naked before we met. I decided to give up and stick to the familiarity and 'honesty' of Fab"
Thank you lovely!! Yes whenever we have a less than rose's and romance moment we thank our star's for the luck we had in meeting each other! Obviously we're very vanilla and just that annoying couple though 😉😜😈 PS you were already on our hotlist if you fancy finding out whether we're as naughty as suggested 😘 D&Y x |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I feel you don’t get genuine people on dating sites, you get people who tell you what you want to hear, where at least fab you can be honest about the desires you seek, or what turns you on.
But your always going to get the occasional people who are just here for chat and companionship, which nothing wrong with be honest and people may be more willing to chat instead of creating fictional life’s and dreams. |
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"Ive never really been on them, but my sister has been, for roughly a day, found the man of her dreams and is living happily ever after! I will just keep plugging away on here. "
See that’s just not fair! I’ve been plugging away for years
Got any more sisters? |
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By *lder.Woman 6 weeks ago
Not Local |
"Ive never really been on them, but my sister has been, for roughly a day, found the man of her dreams and is living happily ever after! I will just keep plugging away on here.
See that’s just not fair! I’ve been plugging away for years
Got any more sisters? "
I do yes! |
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"Ive never really been on them, but my sister has been, for roughly a day, found the man of her dreams and is living happily ever after! I will just keep plugging away on here.
See that’s just not fair! I’ve been plugging away for years
Got any more sisters?
I do yes! "
Splendid news!! Let’s see if I can beat one day - send them round with ice cream and a ‘can do’ attitude. |
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