FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you feel an outsider?
Do you feel an outsider?
Jump to: Newest in thread
I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I add replies to the odd post, I quite like being able to drop in and out.
Love the forums tbh |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I probably spend to much time in them and just say daft stuff as I do 😂
Perhaps a break is needed though and come back and do it all again 😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *-jonMan 23 weeks ago
London |
I wouldn’t overthink what it is, it’s just a thread to put your humour or opinion (hopefully fair and polite) into. I don’t sense any cliche. Look at it as it is, just people flowing with some witty messages that hit or don’t, I don’t think anyone pays any notice in reality |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 01:54:22] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
I'm an infrequent poster and then I'll have an intense period, depending what's happening in my life
There are so many new users i don't know that I'd like to know better! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *B69Woman 23 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
I’ve dipped in and out for years, people come and go, it’s a positive place majority of the time and you get out what you put in, enjoy |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ildbillkidMan 23 weeks ago
where the road goes on forever |
I did at first, from being on the other side of the water, but I got use to the forum and it got use to me |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *-jonMan 23 weeks ago
London |
Belladonna - could’ve been the start of a new a “clique” to hit the “cliché”.
To be honest OP, if that’s the case just message these profiles and if it doesn’t gather momentum, so what… it is what it is . Just try have a good time. As BD mentioned, if that’s not the case, take a break. X |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yes I feel like you comment but get swept aside xx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all."
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too "
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not "
There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.
If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.
If they don’t then that’s also fine too.
I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep
It that way |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not
There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.
If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.
If they don’t then that’s also fine too.
I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep
It that way "
So you could a just says ditto? *l |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not
There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.
If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.
If they don’t then that’s also fine too.
I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep
It that way
So you could a just says ditto? *l "
Then……ditto |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *-jonMan 23 weeks ago
London |
"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"
Well said Eve! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ir tootMan 23 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not
There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.
If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.
If they don’t then that’s also fine too.
I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep
It that way
So you could a just says ditto? *l
Then……ditto "
I think as you mentioned I don't care anymore and just going on, I used to when i was younger though. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ha ha. 🍎i must admit i have been tempted by the odd snake 😈 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.
I get this, I really get this.
I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.
But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.
I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.
It’s just one of those things.
And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.
Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.
I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not
There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.
If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.
If they don’t then that’s also fine too.
I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep
It that way
So you could a just says ditto? *l
Then……ditto
I think as you mentioned I don't care anymore and just going on, I used to when i was younger though."
As long as people are happy then I’m happy.
I’m a people pleaser too, but I also put myself as a priority and make sure that I’m happy being me now too |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I don’t think anyone is actually an insider - you just have people who post more often than others for a while and then they tend to disappear.
My view: just be you and don’t try to chase popularity. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I don’t think anyone is actually an insider - you just have people who post more often than others for a while and then they tend to disappear.
My view: just be you and don’t try to chase popularity. "
👍 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *eliWoman 23 weeks ago
. |
"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"
Perfectly said. I'm a great believer in being the change you want to see, even more so on here. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"
It's not as bad as it used to be, not so much willy waving and lamp post pissing now I feel
I just post what I post, if it's acknowledged, great, if not then fine. I do feel there is an element of 'if your face doesn't fit' at times, especially when it comes to the hypocrisy and double standards
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
Outsider on Fab and in real life too, always have been. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Over the past few months and definitely recently the forums have changed. Many of the regulars seemed to have left and been in hibernation and they have definitely got more quiet.
There has always been talk of a clique. I wouldn’t say that as much other than people who know of each other whether on here or not of here but there are definitely those that ignore
. Are there some people who take over and post all day…yes there is.
Are there some posts that get ignored…yes there are
Sometimes do you script a response that you think you’ve put maximum effort in to and nothing…totally
There is no simple answer I am afraid. What I will say is that the forums are a small part of fab but can be the most frustrating part. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Often but then in general I find the real world the same - often feel I'm just observing and not participating despite my feeble attempts to |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 01:54:22]"
Unlos…. That’s one way to be an outsider! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've been here 8 years and using the forums for 5.
I've often said that fab is just a hobby, not a lifestyle choice and I spend much less than an hour a day on it, sometimes less than half an hour.
I don't use any part of the site apart from the forums.
I've started threads that got no traction at all and had one of the more productive forumites start exactly the same thread on the very same day(dick measuring, forum style) and it often reaches the 175 reply limit.
I've spoken in private and in some cases met people who are the polar opposite to their forum persona and it's a little sad to see the levels some will stoop to in order to remain relevant on a forum.
A lot of what I say on here goes against the grain and doesn't suit the group love-in so it doesn't surprise me that my comments are like marmite.
Many forum regulars have blocked me for those reasons while at the same time many other forum regulars compliment me for not being an echochamber.
I'm happy with either reaction because I don't have a playground mentality. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've been kicked out a few times for causing a "scene".
Wankers! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.
It depends who is logged in in the forums and who is posting.
You know what I mean. A group of friends can and will take over threads sometimes.
But other times people are online, and it can be all sorts of fun in here.
In all honesty, I’ve been welcomed in this forum a long time ago from some really good fun people, they’re not here anymore, (a few are) and it realy is a place where if there’s a good vibe, it passes on to anyone who joins in. So I try to be as inclusive as I can to those who post regardless of popularity. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I enjoy commenting on the forums. I love the interaction yes but I post what I want without the need that anyone will “get it” or respond. I do it because I enjoy it… for me. I do always try to be kind though. Everyone deserves kindness. Unless they’re being an utter twat waffle of course 😘 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all."
You’ve hit nail on the head there, 👍 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I use the forums for me.
Mostly just read, once in a while will comment.
I am an outsider by choice, it's where I am most comfortable.
If I didn't enjoy it, I'd take time away x
I have never felt unwelcome or left out, the site is what you make of it. For me it's been fantastic |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A lot of repetition, with the same subjects popping up on a regular cycle. I suppose that's inevitable. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Time to play clique this morning.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A lot of repetition, with the same subjects popping up on a regular cycle. I suppose that's inevitable. "
Yes!
You don't comment for a week then you come back and it's exactly the same questions.
In fact I answered something similar to this a couple of weeks ago.
I agree with many. I don't expect a reply by anyone to my comments, that's never the goal. So never really go back to any comment on a thread (unless I've started the thread) as I've expressed my opinion and that's it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’ve been around FAB for quite a few years and a lot of posters back in the day don’t post now.
So it shows it changes often. New people come in and it changes. The people who think are the cool kids on the forums will soon fade and someone else takes the baton.
I don’t comment on posts from people who I don’t vibe with - I’ve found the forums can feel like you’re being ignored so now I don’t try to be noticed and just use it for my benefit.
Just enjoy the forums how you want to.
K |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I dip in and out. I took about 18 months off Fab and when I came back with a new profile, everyone I’d spoken to previously seemed to have left Fab too. So it sort of felt like starting from scratch again last year and I’ve not really gotten back in to the forums properly since. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I think everyone has times when they are ignored. It’s how much importance you put on that that will determine if you feel like an outsider or not. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍"
Few weeks off 👀 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍
Few weeks off 👀"
I know. I'm a lucky duck! 🎉 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
And yes this is a new profile but I've been here with B for flecking ages now. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍
Few weeks off 👀
I know. I'm a lucky duck! 🎉" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
In a lot of instances the engagement is with people who have met or are about to meet. Most people who might be considered cliquey are likely to also be people who have attended organised socials and such like in Manchester, Birmingham, London and thus there is a natural familiarity and commonality there.
I also think that the lack of an opportunity to engage with posts/users through likes/thumbs up etc without actually commenting makes people feel unseen when in fact they are not.
I’m amazed at how many people I’ve never interacted or engaged with want to say hi when I they see me in person and remember something I said or did previously |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 09:14:36] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *aseylee324Couple 23 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
I've always felt like an outsider, fab is no different |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sometimes I post & get ignored sometimes I post and get replies, it is what it is, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - fab is a bit of fun, the forums the same.
The more people post the more people are recognised and the more you feel like you kind of know that person.
I did notice I had more replies on my single woman's profile though suprise suprise.
Mrs
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ost SockMan 23 weeks ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.
I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.
The two things I always say:
1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.
Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it
2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .
I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *glyBettyTV/TS 23 weeks ago
About 3 feet away from the fence |
The posters change but the topics strangely always stay the same.
Literally the same threads get recycled every few weeks, with the same hackneyed replies. How many times has the "ick" thread come up this year?
"Crocs" is basically a meme at this point.
Honestly forums are boring af |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Sometimes I post & get ignored sometimes I post and get replies, it is what it is, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - fab is a bit of fun, the forums the same.
The more people post the more people are recognised and the more you feel like you kind of know that person.
I did notice I had more replies on my single woman's profile though suprise suprise.
Mrs
"
Slight disagreement. No suprise suprise and fab would be MORE fun if people weren't so wrapped up in themselves and constantly blaming others for how they feel.
Those kinds of posts do more to make this 'adult' site like a junior playground.
We are ALL sitting alone in our own rooms.
The forum is EXACTLY what YOUR mind tells you it is.
Maybe change your perspective.
( not aimed at you MKOTCT I just tagged in on your post ) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’ve felt a few outsiders "
Boom ! That was my first thought |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’ve felt a few outsiders
Boom ! That was my first thought "
psychic sisters |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Hello
I’m pretty new to posting on the forums , probably like many I’d read bits and pieces on and off before taking a seat and getting involved . I don’t feel like an outsider to be honest , I’d say I’m possibly a boundary forum user . I post when I feel like it and generally I find it pretty accepting . My view is that people will use in their own way and like anywhere groups of friends will interact more with each other due to knowing each other better or being used to the way they interact . It’s pretty obvious to suggest that some people will also gravitate towards people they fancy or want to impress , or groups they want to be part of .
It is what you make of it I suppose , personally I find it a decent way to enjoy the site , partly because I’m a shit swinger and don’t bombard everyone within 300 miles with messages and photos of my doodah and dangly bits .
Ps ….. I wasn’t a cool kid on the bus but I’d sit at the back to piss them off |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’ve felt a few outsiders "
😂😂😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *eah BabyCouple 23 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
More like someone passing through as I only dip in and out |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sort of sat at the edge of the pool, basking in the sunshine and taking a quick dip now and then sort of fella.
That’s me 😊 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"
It's not as bad as it used to be, not so much willy waving and lamp post pissing now I feel
I just post what I post, if it's acknowledged, great, if not then fine. I do feel there is an element of 'if your face doesn't fit' at times, especially when it comes to the hypocrisy and double standards
"
I agree
I’ve been in Fab for over 11 years now, and post regular in the forums, so have seen people come and go, and also been an outsider to the cliques/lamp post pissers of old. Geography puts me out of the clubs scene, and group socials, and ironically; these gatherings of ‘friendly’ people often drive the bulk of what are perceived as cliques in the forum…..
I just say what I think. Sometimes you find a likeminded soul you get to messaging with, but they’re always too far away for an actual meet. It’s still nice to chat though |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I must admit I usually only read the forums and not reply much but started to change that recently. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I must admit I usually only read the forums and not reply much but started to change that recently. "
Good - the more the merrier. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’ve been knocking around the forums for about 9 years and take regular very long breaks. Every time I come back there are loads of people I don’t know and the dynamic shifts a little. This place is a sum of the people interacting on any given day.
I actually think it’s a nice balance at the mo with nobody dominating the threads and plenty of newer people getting involved. I’ve made several new friends and I’ve enjoyed the last month or so.
We are all individuals who make the choice to post something or not and loads of comments go unanswered. I post whatever nonsense I fancy and it usually makes me chuckle. If I’m amused that’s it, job done. I’ll be off again soon
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.
I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.
The two things I always say:
1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.
Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it
2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .
I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it."
What a load of shameful drivel. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Always feel like an outsider looking in |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *odgerMan 23 weeks ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"
To be fair, the banter bar is set quite low. Most 'forumites' think they're funny but actually they're not at all |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I prefer being on the periphery. I'm not very good at being in the centre of things or groups of people. I personally feel there's too much pressure to conform (probably self imposed) if you're in a regular group. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Been on here in and off and when it comes to the other side of Fab it is very select and people’s criteria is hard to meet, the forums are the place to make acquaintances but other than that it seems you have to be verified by umpteen people or there’s no chance but if no one gives you that chance then how can you meet the what seems strict criteria ? And yes I’m fully aware of pic collectors, weirdos, and time wasters so yes I understand caution.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"
I have only just discovered the forum . Everybody here are really nice and welcoming , but i still feel like a randomer walking up to a group of people and butting in on their conversation . Dont know why because like i say all you folks seem very nice |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oxy jWoman 23 weeks ago
somerset |
couldnt care less many try to stop me posting because they cant handle different opinions but i just do me ... ill stop for no one
the problem with these forums is some think they are up and above all but your not its a open forum that 99% of the site membes cant be bothered with ... its tiny tiny part of fab 1% or 2% use it ... a few think that there shit just dont stink ....
no one should be afraid of posting no matter how many karens there are every one has a opinion / point to make these forums are for all not the few just ignore those who think they own/run this tiny tiny part of fab |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I really enjoy the forums. I often comment but I never expect anything as most of the time, it just doesn't get a comment or anything. It's fine, I'm not trying to get pity or anything. People respond to people they know generally. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.
I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.
The two things I always say:
1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.
Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it
2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .
I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it."
What defines a good forum member? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
I dip in and out don't pay too much attention to it. I came off most other social media in 2007 as wasn't interested. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Who wants a game of marbles.....
Mr |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.
I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.
I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge "
What's up with my football team 😱🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.
I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge
What's up with my football team 😱🤣"
I don't even know who you support |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've been kicking around the forum for a couple of years now, but can be a fairly sporadic poster at times.
I agree people should just dive in - it's a free-for-all. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
I always feel an outsider here, like my body confidence is zero and I’ll get into a habit of comparing myself to others! But weirdly I stick here maybe just to remind myself that like yeah no one’s interested! I mean I’ve grown use to it now so it doesn’t affect me too much! But I do find it can be isolating here, not all the time but it has its moments! So I get anyone feeling the same! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ltrMan 23 weeks ago
sheffield |
Had some sound advice of some forums also some knob heads but on the whole find it good |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *avinaTVTV/TS 23 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Fab forums are a useful distraction for me. I started posting with no expectation that anyone would take any notice. I still have that approach.
I think whether or not your posts or threads garner any attention or reaction is dependent on who is online, what time of day it is, what the general mood is, etc., etc. There are so many variables that you really can't read anything into your success, or lack of it.
I was never on a school bus. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"I really enjoy the forums. I often comment but I never expect anything as most of the time, it just doesn't get a comment or anything. It's fine, I'm not trying to get pity or anything. People respond to people they know generally. "
Ive just started commenting . The forum gives fab another dimension . Though sometimes its like walking into a bar full of locals , it all goes quiet and everyone turns to look at the stranger ... Yes its me folks ,,,hi !!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Been on and off fab personally for around 20yrs and found the forums to be a tad clique at times, once you get over that it can be a fun place and make friends |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.
I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge
What's up with my football team 😱🤣
I don't even know who you support "
Yeah..they shit...I admit it 😆 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I'm an infrequent poster and then I'll have an intense period, depending what's happening in my life
There are so many new users i don't know that I'd like to know better! "
Awww Midnight, i'd be happy for you to get to know me better 🤭 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
We remember when this was all just fields. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This place has a hidden hierarchy it's like Jim crow racism it not seeable but it's there and yiu can feel it |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We remember when this was all just fields." orange trees as far as the eye could see
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I dip I'm and put of here so I don't really mind of any of my posts get traction.
When I post it's either for my own entertainment or because I've a point I'd like to make. Either way I'm not too fussed if I get a reply.
I can see why new people perceive there to be cliques because it natural that people who know each other (via the forum or meeting irl) will engaged with each other more.
I've always found this a welcoming enough place, it is a pretty fast moving forum with poor reply and edit fuctions tho so posts can get lost in the cracks |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We remember when this was all just fields. orange trees as far as the eye could see"
We could see much further then as well… |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"This place has a hidden hierarchy it's like Jim crow racism it not seeable but it's there and yiu can feel it"
It’s just like Jim Crow era racism in here. You’re so right. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok"
Do you?
I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have seen posts when someone is feeling terrible, expresses it on here and then gets a lot of positive feedback. Comments telling them their inbox is open and they really wants to help, doesn’t matter if it’s a man, woman, TS or TV, it’s taken seriously and help is offered.
It can be a tough place as well, my very first forum post I got lambasted by another when I said I was a CD and TV (I am)
But like all posts on here, it’s soon disappears and all is forgotten.
Just take this place for what it is, a few minutes to tell others, your opinions on a subject controversial or not, favourite film, song, pop group or boobs |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ripfillMan 23 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
I have been so lucky - never really an outsider
School university work sport etc in fact I am very much team and inclusive.
However the heart break is I am an outsider from my family’s view point - I do not conform and I do not fit in.
I have tried over the years to build those ‘ bridges’ but it s very temporary structure
Now with a family of my own it’s totally fine
Sad sometimes to reflect but - move on !
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.
There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved
That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all." |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I always feel a bit of an outsider, I get involved in groups quite sparingly, usually for a specified purpose. If it's socially then it's usually only small groups, or individuals.
Online it's different, I don't see this as a group as such. More a place were connections can potentially form. The clique thing, I see as a natural phenomena that will ebb and flow. It's not intrinsically bad, but it has the potential to be. E.g. From one perspective it's people defending a friend from another it's a subgroup ganging up on another.
I tend to have a natural aversion to group think, even when it's seemingly pleasant, it feels like a phony sense of validation and assurance. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok
Do you?
I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them..."
👀👀 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"
They are very open to everyone but they are also very cliquè and I'll agree to disagree with anyone that doesn't agree |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok
Do you?
I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them...
👀👀"
This post needs moving to the friendly chat thread |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x"
Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...
I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *hilloutMan 23 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"
Only a small percentage of fab users actually participate in the forums, though I suspect a greater number are intermittent lurkers. It's always good to see new participants and their contributions. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x
Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...
I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened"
Definitely hasn't lessoned which is a shame because it would be nice to get more newbies participating x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x
Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...
I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened
Definitely hasn't lessoned which is a shame because it would be nice to get more newbies participating x"
To be fair , people have been quite welcoming to me . Unless im too thick skinned to notice any sly digs !! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *_Mr.K_xMan 23 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
Slightly, yeah...
To keep it short and sweet, I think there are those trying to keep in with the 'cool kids' but still slightly on the fringe, all the veteran regulars that know each other on a first name basis and then you've got all the newbies.
Personally, I feel somewhere in the middle of all of those.
I'm not new, entirely, but I haven't been on here for as long as others... hopefully, what I say brightens up people's days and cheers people up.
I'm not new to the scene at all but I guess subconsciously, we're all trying to get noticed in some way... it's partly why we're on here right? Either to get noticed for meets, socials or interaction on here.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It's all about perception.
Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.
Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.
My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.
Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.
I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It's all about perception.
Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.
Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.
My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.
Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think"
I wouldn’t take it personally. Some days I get loads of responses. Other days I get tumble.
I feel neither an outsider nor an insider. I’m here by my own free will. I join in as I please. I take very little personally. It’s just another aspect to my life. A bit of fun.
When it’s not fun - I go away for a bit. Same as I would if I stopped enjoying the gym/book club/pub or whatever. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think
I wouldn’t take it personally. Some days I get loads of responses. Other days I get tumble.
I feel neither an outsider nor an insider. I’m here by my own free will. I join in as I please. I take very little personally. It’s just another aspect to my life. A bit of fun.
When it’s not fun - I go away for a bit. Same as I would if I stopped enjoying the gym/book club/pub or whatever." |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"
Well said. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Said this loads of times and I'll say it again, as its my experience of using the forums for 8 years on and off....
All are welcome in the forums, not all are included though.....
It is just like the play ground, only worse as its adults behaving like children, children know no better, I'd like to think adults do, but........then you find the forums 🤣🤣
Mr |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I just post when I feel like it. I do try to be inclusive in my responses and the threads I do myself sometimes to the annoyance of some but I take no notice. There are some 'characters' on here that think too much of themselves but then don't we all know some of those in real life? There are lots of lovely people on here to to interact with though and I focus on them avoiding the arrogant, argumentative, dogmatic and those too far up the khyber |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm kind of in and out of posts and comments, if people interact with them it's fine if not, it's just a bit of fun |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *andT2023Couple 23 weeks ago
in the middle |
I am not usually a forum dweller but as i have more time on my hands at the minute i am discovering the joy on here. I try to avoid devisive posts. I enjoy the banter on the whole . Do i feel like an outsider ..yes ..
Do i really care ..not really
If people interact i am happy ..if not no problem. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next beard thread to come along. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along."
FTFY.
Seems more visually appropriate. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along.
FTFY.
Seems more visually appropriate."
Get outta ma pub, you're bard! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I enjoy reading and occasionally posting in the forum and feeling part of the community, all be it not to active, is the whole point for me. Lets face it at 63 I'm not going to get many meets lol. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 13:38:01] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *avexxMan 23 weeks ago
cheshire |
i flit in and out sometimes join in sometimes not,,, always try to keep it fun the day its stops being fun then it will be time to say goodbye,,, |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’ve read this entire thread. And all I can say is I’ll agree with everyone and everything if it’ll make me popular.
Think I’m getting the hang of the forums now. Maybe. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It depends on the thread. Some are definitely very cliquey others open to all. I just avoid the cliquey ones problem solved |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The same 2-3 peole reply to my comments on a thread (and very grateful to all of them ) I never start threads because I know they won’t have any traction. I do enjoy dipping in and out, though silly threads and games test my patience. Of course, it’s my issue and I can always choose not to read. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I just post when I feel like it. I do try to be inclusive in my responses and the threads I do myself sometimes to the annoyance of some but I take no notice. There are some 'characters' on here that think too much of themselves but then don't we all know some of those in real life? There are lots of lovely people on here to to interact with though and I focus on them avoiding the arrogant, argumentative, dogmatic and those too far up the khyber "
And the passive aggressives ? Do you ignore those too ? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along.
FTFY.
Seems more visually appropriate."
Fank Thuck ? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Been on fab many years. Do post on forums sometimes. Have found that most times my comment on a post ignored. Yet one of say regular posters made very similar comment to mine. Lot of replies , comments from others. Yes will still post . Even if ignored. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *agatoXXXMan 23 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
So I'm not the only one:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1622753#top |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
No. Not at all, I do however miss replies to my comments, as I'm tardy and don't frequently revisit them though... I'm not ignoring people, I just forget about the threads |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Always feel like an outsider looking in"
So do I mate, I've been here for at least 10 years under different guises but other than a brief period I've always felt like an outsider, but I take the rough with the smooth and keep spouting whatever nonsense I feel like people will either like it or they won't 🤷♂️ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I only stay to join in the occasional post that intrigues me. And the hot photos and videos of course. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It's all about perception.
Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.
Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.
My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.
Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁"
Typical. I've just realised I posted the same response twice and nobody could even be arsed to tell me.
I hereby retract my clique application if that's how it's going to be😎🤪 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I just entertain myself. If someone joins in with me then great |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"I just entertain myself. If someone joins in with me then great"
That’s the spirit |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Just only really look in on The Lounge every now and then, sometimes chip in
The Scotland forum is really clique-y and the Politics forum is just a fucking cesspit
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I used to get annoyed if my comments were ignored, esp if someone more popular pretty much said the same thing and got reaction.
But it is what it is now. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I post what i want and move on. I rarely check back on threads to see if anyone replies. I was told this morning to check a thread from 5 days ago because they had replied to me on there about something
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"I post what i want and move on. I rarely check back on threads to see if anyone replies. I was told this morning to check a thread from 5 days ago because they had replied to me on there about something
"
This sounds like me at times. I do treat this place the same as I used twitter.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’ve been on fab about 8 years but only on the forum since lock down. I’ve met a lot of ‘popular’ people & have regular FB/FWB’s here but still feel an outsider and actually like it that way. I’ve seen the meltdowns & fallouts when peoples lives get dominated by FAB |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ookie46Woman 23 weeks ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I’ve used the forums pretty much the whole six years I’ve been here. I dip in and out of them and have made some fantastic friends along the way
Do I feel like an outsider? I’ve never really given it much thought if I’m honest I’m just happy doing what I’m doing |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ost SockMan 23 weeks ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.
I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.
The two things I always say:
1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.
Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it
2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .
I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it.
What defines a good forum member?"
Well, there’s no absolute definition, for sure.
Off the top of my head, someone who makes interesting/supportive/funny/thought-provoking/well-argued posts and doesn’t take themselves too seriously.
There’s been plenty of those people down the years. I guess it’s the kind of person where you spot their username and get a little “ooo, it’s them, let’s see what they have to say” feeling . |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *avexxMan 23 weeks ago
cheshire |
yep outsider slowly beginning to work my way in |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ost SockMan 23 weeks ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.
I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.
The two things I always say:
1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.
Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it
2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .
I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it.
What a load of shameful drivel."
Ha!
It can’t be drivel - it’s only had two responses. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Do you feel an outsider?
Absolutely i do.Both in forums and club visits
I visit clubs,on various events,Tgirl focused and mainstream swingers events.
I know Tgirls arent too everyone's taste or me personally but the recent visits,8 to 5 different venues have me feeling of walking away from everything,sadly, |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think"
Your not a member of the clique forum gang mate, give it a few yrs lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *929Man 23 weeks ago
bedlington |
No as don’t care and have zero desire to belong I see how done can feel like that quite often a popular poster will start a topic that appears to be aimed at all but then only reply to the other popular posters replies
To balance there are other really nice posters who are very inclusive and interact with all hesitant to name as don’t want to forget to mention someone and feel a twat but there many of them |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think
Your not a member of the clique forum gang mate, give it a few yrs lol"
Funny thing is we been band on her for just creating posy about the cliqs |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm pretty ND and generally assume that I'm never really fitting in anywhere.
There are people I think of as friends on here that I'm obviously more likely to react to, and who are more likely to react to my posts.
I've been here pretty regularly for quite a while now. I'm probably known as a regular by people who think that way. But I often have posts go through the same tumbles as everyone else sees sometimes.
I think people often worry too much about how people perceive them and how much reaction they get. It's a swingers forum, and really not all that important in the grand scheme of things 💜 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I drop in the occasional comments, people respond or not. It's OK this is the huge Internet and my lone voice is not entitled to anything from anyone. Neither does anyone have a responsibility to include me.
As to cliques on here, I think most people see a few. Personally I'm totally OK with that (for the reasons mentioned above). People naturally gravitate to each other and find their people and that's OK. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality? "
Agree with this. I do believe there is a clique mentality, they do fill up threads with their own content, excluding others and rinse newbies, once one starts the usual sheep follows.
For those that deny there are cliques are usually part of it, of course they deny it because their experience and perception is going to be different from another people's experiences.
Obviously so because the clique thing keeps popping up and so many people keep saying it.....Who is anyone to negate that perception? Especially as so many have the same perception |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"
Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking
"
I walked or cycled to big school so did not mix with those on the bus.
Little school was cool, it was in the jungle, we made tree houses and swung on vines. I had a machete (to cut down saplings for our tree houses) - there were only 100 of us, most of us were really cool (and we are still in touch). |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality? "
For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.
I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?
For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.
I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way."
Clique behaviour (and we all see it) is just a bit sad. Are they really so needy that coming on here for a circle jerk of tired, performative ‘flirting’ between themselves is necessary? The more I see it the more desperately dull it seems. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I used to be very active on here under my singles profile but that's long been hidden and I pop up on here now and then.
I'm not on as much as I was and I do feel a little like an outsider at times but that's how social things go, even on the internet. People develop rapport and relationships and will often have their own little jokes and side chats etc.
There's also those who chased round after those they find attractive and are blind to anyone else trying to engage in conversation
I just use it as and when I feel like it so not bothered about cliques etc.
Evie |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 10/08/24 09:55:19] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Like cliques online as well as in life… just be true to yourself and you’ll be fine. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *_Mr.K_xMan 23 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?
For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.
I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way."
I notice this quite a lot.
Or when you post something and get little interaction or responses, yet these 'clique' people post a similar thread and boom... the chat explodes, then decends into as you say the regular chat of the group regulars, excluding those that don't feel 'in' with the group. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"Do you feel an outsider?"
I only got introduced to the Forum by LisaB45 (possibly UNLOS now) in my last incarnation.
Initially, I thought many of you were dicks (some of you still are), but I like the camaraderie.
I smile when I see some Forumites on here. I like the randomness. I enjoy taking the piss about a so called 'clique' - but you do have to recognise a load of you meet at socials and so now each other and therefore there can be in jokes and others may feel they are outsiders.
If I don't like threads I don't participate, and every so often I take time out on the naughty step cos I react to posts that are made.
I like to be sarcastic, I enjoy pratting around, I can be blocked by people who I actually like, but it's Fab and the Forum, and it's just a bit of fun, and if it gets too much I will go UNLOS and come back in a similar guise in a number of months (and start the whole slow journey of verification and making friends again).
(BTW I hate the use of the word 'journey' as I have just posted) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yes I feel like an outsider but I think it’s harder for single men to find anyone on here but I am trying to work my way to the inside |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
"my last post should say 'know' and not 'now'"
TLDNR |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?
For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.
I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way.
Clique behaviour (and we all see it) is just a bit sad. Are they really so needy that coming on here for a circle jerk of tired, performative ‘flirting’ between themselves is necessary? The more I see it the more desperately dull it seems. "
Agreed.
It's got to the point, when you see who starts a thread, you know exactly who's going to respond and how it's going to go |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.
I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.
I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.
I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.
Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.
So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?
There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?
For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.
I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way.
I notice this quite a lot.
Or when you post something and get little interaction or responses, yet these 'clique' people post a similar thread and boom... the chat explodes, then decends into as you say the regular chat of the group regulars, excluding those that don't feel 'in' with the group. "
But we all know "there is no such thing as the clique" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have felt like an outsider quite a few times. Of course, killing threads doesn’t help with that feeling either.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
I feel like I shouldn't be here, hardly any replies, no meets in all time I've been here. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *_Mr.K_xMan 23 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"But we all know "there is no such thing as the clique" "
Apples and oranges.
End of the day, everyone is here to be treated fairly and have fun. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I think the forums are a difficult place to navigate. Getting ignored is tough. But don’t mistake people posting consistently and being noticed with popularity or a clique. I don’t think there’s a clique. But yes there’s groups of friendships and yes it’s hard to get in with them when you’re new. But we’ve all been new and we’ve all been ignored. It gets more welcoming. Just keep posting.
The forums are a great place to be when you’re escaping your real world for a moment and to have fun. Don’t take them all that seriously. Even I struggle with that advice but it’s true.
Anyway, it’s going to be fucking hot this weekend. Get naked and enjoy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Many trans do, not just here, but also in the real world......makes us tougher though |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |