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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a sub and no man treats me badly.
Any man who treats a sub badly isn't a Dominant they are a bully.
Ruby, you typed the words as I thought them! Beautifully put x"
You know me, BDSM thread and I'm on it!!
But seriously a Dominant's role is to care for their submissive's mental wellbeing; NOT to treat then badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who has subs and how badly do u treat them "
It is about power not treating subs badly and in order to be a good Dom/domme you need to command respect and trust is key, neither of those work if you intend to treat someone badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who has subs and how badly do u treat them
It is about power not treating subs badly and in order to be a good Dom/domme you need to command respect and trust is key, neither of those work if you intend to treat someone badly. "
 respect and trust are a two way thing. I couldn't trust someone nor respect them who wanted to treat me badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control...."
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who has subs and how badly do u treat them
It is about power not treating subs badly and in order to be a good Dom/domme you need to command respect and trust is key, neither of those work if you intend to treat someone badly.
respect and trust are a two way thing. I couldn't trust someone nor respect them who wanted to treat me badly. "
Yes indeed and both parties will know what they are entering into and as you say it is up to the Master to ensure the emotional well being of their sub is paramount.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control....
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role. "
And this is why there is a huge difference between a Master and Dom, similarly a sub and slave. As a sub I have limits, a slave has no limits other than what their Master sets. I have a safe word as a sub, a slave has no safe word. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both "
No, you asked how badly others treat their subs. A true Dominant wouldn't openly ask such a question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm a sub and no man treats me badly.
Any man who treats a sub badly isn't a Dominant they are a bully. "
I echo the other posts on this thread but hope that it is just poorly worded. Subs aren't treated badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both "
That's nothing like what you asked in your first post?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both
No, you asked how badly others treat their subs. A true Dominant wouldn't openly ask such a question. "
I'm going to sit back and watch you on this one little sister. I feel sorry for the poor souls calling him dominant already. Obviously not a clue. |
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"I'm a sub and no man treats me badly.
Any man who treats a sub badly isn't a Dominant they are a bully.
I echo the other posts on this thread but hope that it is just poorly worded. Subs aren't treated badly."
Of course they aren't - they are cherished...and nurtured to reach their potential... |
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both "
Easy.
Tell one to tie the other up.
Sorted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a sub and no man treats me badly.
Any man who treats a sub badly isn't a Dominant they are a bully. "
Well said young lady... most subs leave my boudoir satisfied, as they should |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control....
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role.
And this is why there is a huge difference between a Master and Dom, similarly a sub and slave. As a sub I have limits, a slave has no limits other than what their Master sets. I have a safe word as a sub, a slave has no safe word. "
Going to disagree with you there as being a slave before I did and had as much care/experienced what you are saying as being a slave to me meant I am subordinate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im guessing by what the OP has said on 2nd post that they are new to the sub/dom thing and are asking advice....
Yes, he worded first post badly, but least he asking advice....
"
Yes but a dangerous game to play without experience and also do we know it is the m posting? Did I miss that lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both "
You clearly need to learn about D/s and respect before taking on one sub let alone two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm a sub and no man treats me badly.
Any man who treats a sub badly isn't a Dominant they are a bully.
Ruby, you typed the words as I thought them! Beautifully put x
You know me, BDSM thread and I'm on it!!
But seriously a Dominant's role is to care for their submissive's mental wellbeing; NOT to treat then badly. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sub is in control and I respect my subs I was after advice as both subs have very differnt demands to meet one loves verbal and the other loves restraints so I need to know how to cope with them both
You clearly need to learn about D/s and respect before taking on one sub let alone two. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control....
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role.
And this is why there is a huge difference between a Master and Dom, similarly a sub and slave. As a sub I have limits, a slave has no limits other than what their Master sets. I have a safe word as a sub, a slave has no safe word.
Going to disagree with you there as being a slave before I did and had as much care/experienced what you are saying as being a slave to me meant I am subordinate."
Not at all. A slave and a sub is different. I know the differences and know what I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol granny crumpet I did think that  "
Sweetheart, you need to take this seriously if you're going to do this properly. A Dominant who has no clue is dangerous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control....
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role.
And this is why there is a huge difference between a Master and Dom, similarly a sub and slave. As a sub I have limits, a slave has no limits other than what their Master sets. I have a safe word as a sub, a slave has no safe word.
Going to disagree with you there as being a slave before I did and had as much care/experienced what you are saying as being a slave to me meant I am subordinate."
no as a slave in a total power exchange relationship for many years. At the start, As his sub I had some say. However, when I was collared and became his slave I gave up all my limits and did not need a safe word as I was his owned property.
I was cherished and prestige property but owned all the same. His word was law. I was his.
However I guess each ds relationship is different but I could never be a slave to anyone that didn't command my total control and that takes total trust.
I was a slave And so proud to have been without that control.
I'm now a sub and totally different.
I expect a lot from a dominant, and can be a bit of a handful at the start. however anyone that has my submission will also have my trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not into the whole sub/dom thing so dont really know much about it....
But to my thinking, the sub is very much the one in control....
Yes to a certain degree however a Master will get what they need from just the mere role.
And this is why there is a huge difference between a Master and Dom, similarly a sub and slave. As a sub I have limits, a slave has no limits other than what their Master sets. I have a safe word as a sub, a slave has no safe word.
Going to disagree with you there as being a slave before I did and had as much care/experienced what you are saying as being a slave to me meant I am subordinate.
no as a slave in a total power exchange relationship for many years. At the start, As his sub I had some say. However, when I was collared and became his slave I gave up all my limits and did not need a safe word as I was his owned property.
I was cherished and prestige property but owned all the same. His word was law. I was his.
However I guess each ds relationship is different but I could never be a slave to anyone that didn't command my total control and that takes total trust.
I was a slave And so proud to have been without that control.
I'm now a sub and totally different.
I expect a lot from a dominant, and can be a bit of a handful at the start. however anyone that has my submission will also have my trust. "
TRUST being the key word |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Im guessing by what the OP has said on 2nd post that they are new to the sub/dom thing and are asking advice....
Yes, he worded first post badly, but least he asking advice....
Yes but a dangerous game to play without experience and also do we know it is the m posting? Did I miss that lol "
Told you I knew nothing about it  |
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By *ed 16Man
over a year ago
Manchester/Kendal |
I was a sub once (was trying new things) she was a new Dom thou I did not know this one night things got a bit out of control when I said a smart ass comment back to her and she kind of got carried away and broke a rib. Thou after we talked about it and where fine now we are still friends thou I duck if she raises her hand. Think what people have said is true you have to look after them safe words are essential. And knowing where to hit to cause pain and not break bones. Still best sex injury yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was a sub once (was trying new things) she was a new Dom thou I did not know this one night things got a bit out of control when I said a smart ass comment back to her and she kind of got carried away and broke a rib. Thou after we talked about it and where fine now we are still friends thou I duck if she raises her hand. Think what people have said is true you have to look after them safe words are essential. And knowing where to hit to cause pain and not break bones. Still best sex injury yet "
Black eye and other injuries at the hands of a bully who thought he was a Dom! Not fun, very painful and have left painful memories. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quite lucky that my first master was vastly experienced, and he took great care of me and taught me well. However I also taught him, as he had never experienced an alpha sub or a little.
As with any relationship a d/s relationship requires much communication and constant re evaluating of the basics.
I'm actually going to say though that all the dominant guys I've been lucky enough to meet just are naturally dominant. But they have to be for me or I don't recognise it.
My new dominant is new but naturally very good and in many ways more strict on me than my former master. As he doesn't pander to my little side. And just tells me how it is.
Like with life you can't tell people to do it one way or another as it's always what works for you and your partners.
but a dominant is there to care for and bring out the best in a sub but for some the way of doing that may be humiliation, or with rewards. It's different to every sub |
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By *ed 16Man
over a year ago
Manchester/Kendal |
"I was a sub once (was trying new things) she was a new Dom thou I did not know this one night things got a bit out of control when I said a smart ass comment back to her and she kind of got carried away and broke a rib. Thou after we talked about it and where fine now we are still friends thou I duck if she raises her hand. Think what people have said is true you have to look after them safe words are essential. And knowing where to hit to cause pain and not break bones. Still best sex injury yet
Black eye and other injuries at the hands of a bully who thought he was a Dom! Not fun, very painful and have left painful memories. "
As you rightly said it's a bully not a Dom. I know she did not mean so let her off plus she helped me off the floor. I fell off the bed when she punched me. But yes being a Dom is hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for me the one thing that bugs me is the idea that these relationships are all about pain or punishments.
Again it depends on each relationship. Some subs love pain, so my advice to the dominants I advise is not to use pain as a punishment. As your simply giving them what they desire.
Now I can be a pain slut but as those few that have dominated me know, I take no pleasure from being punished. If I have failed my dominant then I can get beside myself emotionally.
I prefer rewards, like the use of being told I'm a good girl, or being allowed to sit at my dominants feet. Or cuddle up to him.
Some subs do like to be used and abused though, however maybe a topic for something else, as I worry about some of them. Even though I have been in a no limit but the ones allowed me relationship. |
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