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First visit to a club, advice
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
Hey,
I know there's a thread regarding this.. but just wanted to ask a specific question.
I'm visiting my first club next Wednesday.. and I'm going with the philosophy of 'hope, not expect' and to just go with a chilled vibe, have a drink and meet new people.
I'll be going with a play partner so I'll definitely be having some fun either way, anything else is just a bonus.
The question is... do you sit down around the bar and chat, exchange stories? How receptive are people normally? Have you made some good long term friends from meeting others and couples at clubs?
Just curious |
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Hey OP, I hope you enjoy your first time at a club. The unknown can be daunting but it seems you are going with the right attitude.
It depends on the club, what facilities they have, how busy it is, types of people there etc.
They all have profiles on fab and posts in the forum club section, so you can get a feel for them and their clientele before going.
My best advice is to get a tour and introduction from the staff when you arrive (they are usually helpful and happy to do it), then get a drink and suss out the vibe.
If you approach people for an innocent chat, especially as a couple, it’ll be the same as being anywhere - either they’ll want to talk or not.
Good luck! |
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Don't put your head under thr water in the hot tub, and be first to thr buffet....and don't be handsy.....other than Op hope you get your rocks off.....oooh one last one watch out for flying semen 🤣🤣
Mr |
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When you go have a chat with everyone who takes your fancy. Soak up the atmosphere and don't let your nerves stop you from entering the club. We felt like running off never to return ! But so glad we took the plunge. |
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Hey OP, clubs are fun for the social aspect.
There’s a really chilled and fun vibe as everyone is there for the similar reason as yourself.
But the everyone is so friendly and I’m sure you will have an amazing time.
It’s been so long since I’ve been to one but I doubt the atmosphere has gotten worse over time.
Have a brilliant time ☺️ |
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Going as a couple gives you a massive head start, people are much more willing to chat with couples and you have made a good choice.
Just remember it's very likely your plus 1 will be more popular than you are lol |
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By *ragonbaitCouple 17 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
I’d echo above.
The vibe and dynamic can be very different in clubs from one club to another and from one night to the next in the same one.
Go to enjoy yourself regardless.
Go to see the place and find out how it sits with you.
If you don’t like this one, try a different one next time.
Oh and be nice. |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"
Just remember it's very likely your plus 1 will be more popular than you are lol"
Thank you all for the advice x
Yes, we have discussed this and although our dynamic isn't a 'relationship' couple, we have set our boundaries that all play will only involve BOTH of us and no one feels left out..
But yeah, we have talked about the attention but we have a very clear understanding of what we want |
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"I see you're off to Chams, great club to go for your first time....have a gud un...
Mr "
I agree with this. Just chill by the bar to start and take it easy. There is no pressure to do anything if you don’t want to and just people watching for the evening is more than acceptable. If you are open and willing to chat then you will tend to find it reciprocated as long as you are not too pushy.
My one piece of advice: don’t go in the round room unless you are feeling brave! |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"I see you're off to Chams, great club to go for your first time....have a gud un...
Mr
I agree with this. Just chill by the bar to start and take it easy. There is no pressure to do anything if you don’t want to and just people watching for the evening is more than acceptable. If you are open and willing to chat then you will tend to find it reciprocated as long as you are not too pushy.
My one piece of advice: don’t go in the round room unless you are feeling brave!"
1. What is the round room, intrigued... I'm hardly a prude
And 2. I'm planning on chatting, no pushy-ness. I will play with my fwb at the very least.
And I've heard:-
3. Bring flip flops (slippy floor, puddles etc) a spare pair of clothes and underwear and maybe a hand towel |
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"I see you're off to Chams, great club to go for your first time....have a gud un...
Mr
I agree with this. Just chill by the bar to start and take it easy. There is no pressure to do anything if you don’t want to and just people watching for the evening is more than acceptable. If you are open and willing to chat then you will tend to find it reciprocated as long as you are not too pushy.
My one piece of advice: don’t go in the round room unless you are feeling brave!
1. What is the round room, intrigued... I'm hardly a prude
And 2. I'm planning on chatting, no pushy-ness. I will play with my fwb at the very least.
And I've heard:-
3. Bring flip flops (slippy floor, puddles etc) a spare pair of clothes and underwear and maybe a hand towel"
Chams is a dress down club so not sure you need a spare pair of clothes - or anything at all other than the towel you will get given. Your partner might want to dress up in some nice lingerie if that is her thing though.
You can bring flip flops and a towel but many don’t.
As to the round room - I will leave that to you to discover on a busy evening. Enjoy  |
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"I see you're off to Chams, great club to go for your first time....have a gud un...
Mr
I agree with this. Just chill by the bar to start and take it easy. There is no pressure to do anything if you don’t want to and just people watching for the evening is more than acceptable. If you are open and willing to chat then you will tend to find it reciprocated as long as you are not too pushy.
My one piece of advice: don’t go in the round room unless you are feeling brave!
1. What is the round room, intrigued... I'm hardly a prude
And 2. I'm planning on chatting, no pushy-ness. I will play with my fwb at the very least.
And I've heard:-
3. Bring flip flops (slippy floor, puddles etc) a spare pair of clothes and underwear and maybe a hand towel
Chams is a dress down club so not sure you need a spare pair of clothes - or anything at all other than the towel you will get given. Your partner might want to dress up in some nice lingerie if that is her thing though.
You can bring flip flops and a towel but many don’t.
As to the round room - I will leave that to you to discover on a busy evening. Enjoy "
He should really do the round room, it's an experience 🤣🤣
Mr |
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By *oxychicWoman 17 weeks ago
Nottinghamshire |
"Hey,
I know there's a thread regarding this.. but just wanted to ask a specific question.
I'm visiting my first club next Wednesday.. and I'm going with the philosophy of 'hope, not expect' and to just go with a chilled vibe, have a drink and meet new people.
I'll be going with a play partner so I'll definitely be having some fun either way, anything else is just a bonus.
The question is... do you sit down around the bar and chat, exchange stories? How receptive are people normally? Have you made some good long term friends from meeting others and couples at clubs?
Just curious"
|
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"I see you're off to Chams, great club to go for your first time....have a gud un...
Mr
I agree with this. Just chill by the bar to start and take it easy. There is no pressure to do anything if you don’t want to and just people watching for the evening is more than acceptable. If you are open and willing to chat then you will tend to find it reciprocated as long as you are not too pushy.
My one piece of advice: don’t go in the round room unless you are feeling brave!
1. What is the round room, intrigued... I'm hardly a prude
And 2. I'm planning on chatting, no pushy-ness. I will play with my fwb at the very least.
And I've heard:-
3. Bring flip flops (slippy floor, puddles etc) a spare pair of clothes and underwear and maybe a hand towel
Chams is a dress down club so not sure you need a spare pair of clothes - or anything at all other than the towel you will get given. Your partner might want to dress up in some nice lingerie if that is her thing though.
You can bring flip flops and a towel but many don’t.
As to the round room - I will leave that to you to discover on a busy evening. Enjoy
He should really do the round room, it's an experience 🤣🤣
Mr "
Colour me intrigued... what is the Round Room? 🤔 someone PM me if you don't want to tell me on here |
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Just treat it like you’re going to a pub - it’s the same vibe except there’s sex going on upstairs (or in the side rooms at Chams)
It’s a dress down club so you’ll be asked to go and get changed right away.
Be courteous - also if guys hang around (they tend to when there’s a lady around) don’t be afraid to say to give you space - most guys are respectful and will leave you be.
Chat and be friendly - more things happen to people who make an effort to speak to people.
K
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As others have said Chameleons a great choice. Many are put off as a first club because its dress down. But you'll find the dress down thing actually removes barriers and makes it easier to socialise.
Just go and be yourselves. The bar area is a lovely place to acclimatise, settle in and chat. If you're there in the day time and the sun is out then the sun deck is the place to be (and also pick up some tan without lines). Also a lot of great matches and encounters have been started from conversions in the hot tub.
As a couple if your looking to be a bit more daring the couples room is good. A large group room for couples. I'd recommend going in and just watching for a little bit. See what's going on and how others do it. Then if you like the look of it, the vibe and the people just climb on the bed and do your thing. If your open to playing with others and there is mutual attraction/intent from others around this is a great place to swing without all the ground work prior. Its hard to explain but you'll genrally know if it's right and if it is it'll kind of just happen. Couples go in by themselves and often this grows into a foursome or sometimes a moresome. Communication isn't necessarily verbal, there's a whole lot of body language and eye contact that tells everything. But it's totally OK if in doubt to politely ask in plain terms if its ok to join in. People are totally used to this and will tactfully say yes or no.
It's great that you've talked stuff through and have boundaries. However it's also important to have a little flexibility and tons of communication. Because plans don't always survive contact with the environment. You may discover things that you thought you wanted or didn't want change. That's where communication is massively important and the flexibility to expand any boundaries that you both agree on. There's stuff we said we wouldn't do but with the right people and communication we have and it's been hot.
Also just bare in mind Wednesdays can be a quieter day. So you won't have the volume of people to encounter or maybe wide array of sex shenanigans going on. However clubs are luck of the draw and sometimes it's just a matter of right people being in. One of our best nights ever (and first orgy) was a Wednesdays many years ago. It was a quiet night but the right people were there and it all rather kicked off.
As for freinds we've met some awesome people over the years. We've even made a couple of freinds who are now close life freinds ours outside of scene too and who we love dearly.
Mr |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"As others have said Chameleons a great choice. Many are put off as a first club because its dress down. But you'll find the dress down thing actually removes barriers and makes it easier to socialise.
Just go and be yourselves. The bar area is a lovely place to acclimatise, settle in and chat. If you're there in the day time and the sun is out then the sun deck is the place to be (and also pick up some tan without lines). Also a lot of great matches and encounters have been started from conversions in the hot tub.
As a couple if your looking to be a bit more daring the couples room is good. A large group room for couples. I'd recommend going in and just watching for a little bit. See what's going on and how others do it. Then if you like the look of it, the vibe and the people just climb on the bed and do your thing. If your open to playing with others and there is mutual attraction/intent from others around this is a great place to swing without all the ground work prior. Its hard to explain but you'll genrally know if it's right and if it is it'll kind of just happen. Couples go in by themselves and often this grows into a foursome or sometimes a moresome. Communication isn't necessarily verbal, there's a whole lot of body language and eye contact that tells everything. But it's totally OK if in doubt to politely ask in plain terms if its ok to join in. People are totally used to this and will tactfully say yes or no.
It's great that you've talked stuff through and have boundaries. However it's also important to have a little flexibility and tons of communication. Because plans don't always survive contact with the environment. You may discover things that you thought you wanted or didn't want change. That's where communication is massively important and the flexibility to expand any boundaries that you both agree on. There's stuff we said we wouldn't do but with the right people and communication we have and it's been hot.
Also just bare in mind Wednesdays can be a quieter day. So you won't have the volume of people to encounter or maybe wide array of sex shenanigans going on. However clubs are luck of the draw and sometimes it's just a matter of right people being in. One of our best nights ever (and first orgy) was a Wednesdays many years ago. It was a quiet night but the right people were there and it all rather kicked off.
As for freinds we've met some awesome people over the years. We've even made a couple of freinds who are now close life freinds ours outside of scene too and who we love dearly.
Mr"
Thank you very much for this insight. It's massively appreciated.
Yes, we're going on with a very open mind. As you said, if the right spark happens or the right signals, we've got a 'look'system whether both of us are both OK with something. A look at each other if we both approve will do away with the need to 'over communicate' in the spur of the moment. Like a nod or a raised eyebrow.
But yeah, we are aware Wednesdays will be quieter. She recently went with some friends of hers for moral support on a Saturday a couple of weeks back and she said that in the end, it was a bit too rowdy and busy with many getting a bit too d*unk. So they left relatively early in the night, but she's had a soak of the atmosphere and assured me that me and her will have a much better time, probably because it'll be a bit quieter and we can A. Focus on ourselves and B. Being a midweek 'school night' as it were, perhaps a different type of clientele will be in attendance (those who are a perhaps a little bit more assured and relaxed/ experienced) as there is probably a broader mix of people on a Saturday all there for different reasons (parties, a general night out etc)
Either way, that being said.. broad ask but is anyone reading this interested in going on Wednesday 14th, saying hey, introducing themselves to us, having a chat and help settle our nerves a bit? |
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"Don't put your head under thr water in the hot tub, and be first to thr buffet....and don't be handsy.....other than Op hope you get your rocks off.....oooh one last one watch out for flying semen 🤣🤣
Mr "
PMSL, so true, particularly the buffet advice !!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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Imagine it's like visiting a pub where everyone is friendly, probably semi naked, and there's likely to be some nakedness.
'Hope not expect' is good. Personally I went with the intension just to meet and chat on my first visit, and actually had a really good time but didn't feel the urge to play.
Sounds like you'll be fine based on how you come across in your post so just enjoy it for what it is. |
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By *lfa RomeoMan 17 weeks ago
southeast , Herts, Beds |
Following this thread with interest, as yet I've yet to visit a club, I really want to go, but finding it daunting going on my own. But I need to take the plunge as it seams to be the way to meet new people. |
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By *8on33Man 17 weeks ago
winfrith |
"Hey,
I know there's a thread regarding this.. but just wanted to ask a specific question.
I'm visiting my first club next Wednesday.. and I'm going with the philosophy of 'hope, not expect' and to just go with a chilled vibe, have a drink and meet new people.
I'll be going with a play partner so I'll definitely be having some fun either way, anything else is just a bonus.
The question is... do you sit down around the bar and chat, exchange stories? How receptive are people normally? Have you made some good long term friends from meeting others and couples at clubs?
Just curious"
Not all clubs have bars unfortunately but maybe you've checked yours out . |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"Hey,
I know there's a thread regarding this.. but just wanted to ask a specific question.
I'm visiting my first club next Wednesday.. and I'm going with the philosophy of 'hope, not expect' and to just go with a chilled vibe, have a drink and meet new people.
I'll be going with a play partner so I'll definitely be having some fun either way, anything else is just a bonus.
The question is... do you sit down around the bar and chat, exchange stories? How receptive are people normally? Have you made some good long term friends from meeting others and couples at clubs?
Just curiousNot all clubs have bars unfortunately but maybe you've checked yours out ."
Chams has a bar, but no alcohol. You need to bring your own and they put it behind the bar for you. They do have soft drinks and a lovely, modern LED lit bar area where you can socialise |
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"Has anyone here ever had a bad experience at Chams?"
Not bad as such. Our very first visit was in the daytime. It was very quiet and we were followed from room to room by a single guy. It was *really* off-putting. If we'd not had a fantastic experience at a different club (abroad and already booked) a few weeks later it would've put me off the lifestyle permanently. Our next visit was an evening and really positive. |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"Has anyone here ever had a bad experience at Chams?
Not bad as such. Our very first visit was in the daytime. It was very quiet and we were followed from room to room by a single guy. It was *really* off-putting. If we'd not had a fantastic experience at a different club (abroad and already booked) a few weeks later it would've put me off the lifestyle permanently. Our next visit was an evening and really positive."
Yeah, sorry about that... I had nothing else to look at
🤣🤣😉 |
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Heya OP. We are in the same boat. We are going to Penthouse playrooms next Wednesday and we are both very nervous as last 2 years we haven’t been able to have much fun. It’s our first time at PP since it took over from Arousals. I (Jess) have got myself a new naughty lingerie outfit and hubby says he will go smart. Not sure what to expect but we hope it will be fun specially as it’s a day event.
If anyone has been, would you say lingerie is acceptable to wear? |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 17 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"Heya OP. We are in the same boat. We are going to Penthouse playrooms next Wednesday and we are both very nervous as last 2 years we haven’t been able to have much fun. It’s our first time at PP since it took over from Arousals. I (Jess) have got myself a new naughty lingerie outfit and hubby says he will go smart. Not sure what to expect but we hope it will be fun specially as it’s a day event.
If anyone has been, would you say lingerie is acceptable to wear? "
Hope you have a great time! I'll let you know how my time goes.
Depends if the club is 'dress up' or 'dress down'... the club I'm going to is dress down which means I'll arrive fairly smartly dressed by soon be in either a towel or my underwear as well the women.
Dress up is you stay smartly dressed all evening until you're ready uncloth |
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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 16 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
Good afternoon, dabbers
Just resurrecting this thread... today is the day after and wow.
Let me say, I had a great time. It was noticeably quieter than I was expecting (not a problem as I'll be returning on Saturday 31st)
But yeah, had a great time. A bit achey and tired today but that was definitely worth it |
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