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What would you do?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
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Hi all, just wondering what you’d do in this situation.
Some woman messages you, they’re complementary and clearly interested in you, they had an old profile and regretted not reaching out, but they’re here now. A few exchanges in they mention they’re leaving the site/ finding it a bit much but they’d love to chat more on a popular messaging app (beginning with w) and before you can respond they’re off.
Would you reach out and reconnect or would you air on the side of caution and let it wilt?
I’ve been single for a while and just wonder if this initial interest and interaction is a bit too good to be true. I know I delete the dating apps often as it gets a bit disheartening on them but to delete the profile here mid convo seems a slight red flag.
She’s also not got a profile picture on her messaging account which seems a bit of a warning sign.
Thanks in advance |
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"Hi all, just wondering what you’d do in this situation.
Some woman messages you, they’re complementary and clearly interested in you, they had an old profile and regretted not reaching out, but they’re here now. A few exchanges in they mention they’re leaving the site/ finding it a bit much but they’d love to chat more on a popular messaging app (beginning with w) and before you can respond they’re off.
Would you reach out and reconnect or would you air on the side of caution and let it wilt?
I’ve been single for a while and just wonder if this initial interest and interaction is a bit too good to be true. I know I delete the dating apps often as it gets a bit disheartening on them but to delete the profile here mid convo seems a slight red flag.
She’s also not got a profile picture on her messaging account which seems a bit of a warning sign.
Thanks in advance "
Id wait also if no profile picture,not verified could be any one and don't have safety of being on here in terms of using third party app |
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Dude I’d say the only reason you’re even considering this is because you’re not having the success you want on dating apps and someone has shown you the interest you desire. Don’t get me wrong, I know that feeling, and you start to tell yourself you’ve got nothing to lose.
They anppear online with a new profile spouting about their historic provenance, charm you, get you onto your phone number, then disappear. It’s a classic bait tactic and that worm is on a hook. Don’t do it! |
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Red Flags.
1. Women very rarely compliment men, for their own safety to be fair. But not just that. Of all the female friends of Mrs DS I know, including family for years, none have ever complimented me for anything. They just don't. (Which I am pleased to be fair, as I'm not the sort to like compliments nor seek them anyway).
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2. They are leaving for another site (creating a sense of loss) but saying to you they'd like to chat more (creating hopefulness) but then they are off. That's manipulation and high-pressure techniques. Remember, this offer is not available in the shops, and expires in moments....Essentially it's a "bait and reel technique".
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The lack of a photo can be quite innocuous : Not everyone wants to post their face for many legitimate reasons. I wouldn't read anything in to that at all.
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I see nothing good in their behaviour, sorry BB91. But I do feel you have dodged some heartache there. |
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I don't give my mobile out until I've got to know someone, so I wouldn't do this.
I don't think there are many people who would give out their mobiles to near complete strangers and then leave the site? |
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"Red Flags.
1. Women very rarely compliment men, for their own safety to be fair. But not just that. Of all the female friends of Mrs DS I know, including family for years, none have ever complimented me for anything. They just don't. (Which I am pleased to be fair, as I'm not the sort to like compliments nor seek them anyway).
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Not to derail the thread, but not sure that sweeping generalisation is true. I think lots of women compliment men, and I don't understand the safety angle. What's the danger in paying a compliment? Or am I just being dense? |
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"
Not to derail the thread, but not sure that sweeping generalisation is true. I think lots of women compliment men, and I don't understand the safety angle. What's the danger in paying a compliment? Or am I just being dense?"
I think the safety angle is just one aspect, but it does have a bearing.
Obviously it depends on who the man is and the relationship to the woman in question. In this context, from the OP's initial comments, I got the impression that the woman was minimally known, and thus it did seem peculiar for her actions.
As for wider society though, I'm not in a position to conduct a thorough poll, but it would seem reasonable to conclude that with strangers, compliments from men or women to each other are less likely. Just human wariness. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
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Thanks all for the insight and advice. My instincts seem to line up with what the majority of you think.
Wishful thinking to hope it was a genuine connection. I know I’ve been quick to suggest a meet off of dating apps within a few messages to capitalise on a connection rather than let the small talk go stale and stagnate, but then profiles are normally populated with pics and verified or with Instagram linked.
Deleting the number and back to swiping/liking it is  |
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OP, you already got tons of helpful advice. My bit is, download instant messaging service that does not require you to give your phone number to the other person and suggest this as an alternative contact in the future? Or as some do, have a "burner phone" just for Fab related activities that is not connected to any of your social media.
However, if someone wants to take conversation off here almost immediately, it's normally a red flag for me, too. |
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It isnt "normal" behaviour.
If you are still keen to find out though play along.
If you have their number,whatsapp video call them. When Dave answers, which he wont as they will never answer but possibly send a message after saying please dont call i'm busy, you'll know.
Huge red flags but playing along with those red flags in mind can be entertainment too |
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There was a post on here not that long ago about someone in similar situation and I think they were being threatened/worried about being threatened or something similar but I can’t find it now.
Always a red flag OP. |
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If you do contact her don't send any compromising content, no nudes, no cock shots no explicit content. Don't be tempted to help her pay her electricity bill or buy food for her disabled child... well you get the picture
She might be genuine, she might not but sadly you need to proceed on the basis that she isn't and hope to be proved wrong or not proceed at all. |
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This is definitely a collection of red flags flying, I would not entertain it, just move on.
Some people don't have profile pics on WA, I have friends and family that don't (and they are as straight talking, wouldn't hurt a fly kinda people) but with the old pfp pic on here and then just leaving the site? Seems very smelly to me. |
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