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Better to love than to hate?
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"I don't like to keep people around me who've proven they will lie to me about things that they know matter to me. But you can make your own choices on the matter 💜" This sums it up for me too. | |||
"He lied. That isn't good. Why did he lie? If you can understand that you might be able to carry on a relationship with him. Don't delight in their relationship failing. " Sorry, but i will absolutely take delight in it | |||
"He lied. That isn't good. Why did he lie? If you can understand that you might be able to carry on a relationship with him. Don't delight in their relationship failing. Sorry, but i will absolutely take delight in it" Fair enough. You do what's best for you but I thought you'd decided to love not hate. | |||
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"He lied. That isn't good. Why did he lie? If you can understand that you might be able to carry on a relationship with him. Don't delight in their relationship failing. Sorry, but i will absolutely take delight in it Fair enough. You do what's best for you but I thought you'd decided to love not hate. " I mean yeah, as in i dont want to be constantly hating on them, and i dont want to be thinking "if i bump into them, i dno how im gonna react" i just wanna let it be. But that being said, the fact that they both fucked me over, a little bit of me is happy that its not going well, sort of like karma, but thats not me hating, its something else i cant put my finger on right now cos im tired haha | |||
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"Guess it depends on how much you value his friendship and want him in your life. Only you can decide that." Hmm. I really dont know to be honest. I think im just trying to be a better person. | |||
"He lied. That isn't good. Why did he lie? If you can understand that you might be able to carry on a relationship with him. Don't delight in their relationship failing. Sorry, but i will absolutely take delight in it Fair enough. You do what's best for you but I thought you'd decided to love not hate. I mean yeah, as in i dont want to be constantly hating on them, and i dont want to be thinking "if i bump into them, i dno how im gonna react" i just wanna let it be. But that being said, the fact that they both fucked me over, a little bit of me is happy that its not going well, sort of like karma, but thats not me hating, its something else i cant put my finger on right now cos im tired haha" It is a bit now people think karma works but if it is it works all ways... It's human nature to feel a bit pleased in these circumstances I think. See your friend if you want to and if it's going to sort your head out | |||
"He lied. That isn't good. Why did he lie? If you can understand that you might be able to carry on a relationship with him. Don't delight in their relationship failing. Sorry, but i will absolutely take delight in it Fair enough. You do what's best for you but I thought you'd decided to love not hate. I mean yeah, as in i dont want to be constantly hating on them, and i dont want to be thinking "if i bump into them, i dno how im gonna react" i just wanna let it be. But that being said, the fact that they both fucked me over, a little bit of me is happy that its not going well, sort of like karma, but thats not me hating, its something else i cant put my finger on right now cos im tired haha It is a bit now people think karma works but if it is it works all ways... It's human nature to feel a bit pleased in these circumstances I think. See your friend if you want to and if it's going to sort your head out" Its purely because i want a bit moee closure, i want the truth, and i want to drop negative feelings. I dont know if i want to be his friend again, i cerainly cant trust him, but yeah i think ill just hear him out and go from there. | |||
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"Long story short.. I had a bad breakup last year, aswell as a pretty traumatic injury, where i snapped my leg in two places, i was in a very dark place mentally. My friend, who is also a long time mutual friend of my ex, has been dating my ex. I had my suspicions, i told him if anything was going on, he needed to be honest with me, he wasnt, he told me it was nothing n they were just friends who hang out a lot. She hasnt spoken to me, at all since we broke up. I found out through someone else that they are seeing eachother, not only that, but they potentially fucked while i was still going round hers (after the breakup, you know how it can be..) Theres other details, not sure how much of all of this i believe, but the fact is that he lied to me, they both did. Went behind my back, he told me to stop worrying and even one point got a bit funny with me as in like "come on man you've asked me this before" sort of thing.. Initially, i hated them both, infact, i told my 'friend' that if i saw him again he better hope im in a good mood. As i said, i was in a dark place, but ive pulled myself out of it in the past month or two and im doing really good. Ive learned a lot from the relatioship, and just in general, after months of self reflection and personal growth, ive come to the mind set of not having negative feelings hang over me towards anything or anyone. I reached out to my 'friend' and apologised for using threatening language, told him i wasnt happy with how things went, but im essentially willing to hear him out and let it be and move on and maybe work on our friendship. Hes still seeing my ex, but ive heard that its not exactly going well (lol), and hes starting to realise she is no good, and i doubt they will be together too long. Since i said sorry, my 'friend' has been reaching out, liking my insta stories and posts and whatever else, it seems he is happy that i dont want to kill him anymore and wants to be friends. He wants to meet soon for a pint and some food. As i said, i dont want to hold negative energy, its too tiring, and yes, im willing to give him a chance. But, if we meet, i dont know what to talk about, im not sure I'm ready to hear his potential bullshit or if i sense hes just waffling to me about it, i dont know if ill be over the moon. But i do really wanna just move on and be happy, and to be honest, before all this, he was a good friend and in an ideal world, we would be pals again. What would you do in this situation? Ive been breif with details but can go into it more if anyone has questions." I'm not sure if anyone has said this, no one is owed space in your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to be friends, it does mean that you have found peace over the situation. I would only hang out with the person if you felt the need deep down. If that's not there, then I would leave him and love him from afar. Personally, being that deceitful is a fast track way out of my life for good. | |||
"Long story short.. I had a bad breakup last year, aswell as a pretty traumatic injury, where i snapped my leg in two places, i was in a very dark place mentally. My friend, who is also a long time mutual friend of my ex, has been dating my ex. I had my suspicions, i told him if anything was going on, he needed to be honest with me, he wasnt, he told me it was nothing n they were just friends who hang out a lot. She hasnt spoken to me, at all since we broke up. I found out through someone else that they are seeing eachother, not only that, but they potentially fucked while i was still going round hers (after the breakup, you know how it can be..) Theres other details, not sure how much of all of this i believe, but the fact is that he lied to me, they both did. Went behind my back, he told me to stop worrying and even one point got a bit funny with me as in like "come on man you've asked me this before" sort of thing.. Initially, i hated them both, infact, i told my 'friend' that if i saw him again he better hope im in a good mood. As i said, i was in a dark place, but ive pulled myself out of it in the past month or two and im doing really good. Ive learned a lot from the relatioship, and just in general, after months of self reflection and personal growth, ive come to the mind set of not having negative feelings hang over me towards anything or anyone. I reached out to my 'friend' and apologised for using threatening language, told him i wasnt happy with how things went, but im essentially willing to hear him out and let it be and move on and maybe work on our friendship. Hes still seeing my ex, but ive heard that its not exactly going well (lol), and hes starting to realise she is no good, and i doubt they will be together too long. Since i said sorry, my 'friend' has been reaching out, liking my insta stories and posts and whatever else, it seems he is happy that i dont want to kill him anymore and wants to be friends. He wants to meet soon for a pint and some food. As i said, i dont want to hold negative energy, its too tiring, and yes, im willing to give him a chance. But, if we meet, i dont know what to talk about, im not sure I'm ready to hear his potential bullshit or if i sense hes just waffling to me about it, i dont know if ill be over the moon. But i do really wanna just move on and be happy, and to be honest, before all this, he was a good friend and in an ideal world, we would be pals again. What would you do in this situation? Ive been breif with details but can go into it more if anyone has questions. I'm not sure if anyone has said this, no one is owed space in your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to be friends, it does mean that you have found peace over the situation. I would only hang out with the person if you felt the need deep down. If that's not there, then I would leave him and love him from afar. Personally, being that deceitful is a fast track way out of my life for good. " Thank you. Yeah i think thats it, i just want to be at peace. I dont think im comfy hanging out with him, again, especially while hes with her. I just want peace, some clarity, and maybe closure. | |||
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"To me the best closure is to cut ties, forget about them and move on. Dwelling about they why's won't help and given he lied about seeing her do you really think he'll honestly answer any of the questions you have for him? No point revelling in the potential for their relationship to be messy either. It'll just keep her and him in your head. Move on. " I agree with above. Trust is like reputation, hard to get but easy to squander. Even if you meet up, what will that achieve? He's lied to you before,when you were in need of a friend, what makes you think that he won't lie again to cover up his previous lies? He's currently living rent free in your head. | |||
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"To me the best closure is to cut ties, forget about them and move on. Dwelling about they why's won't help and given he lied about seeing her do you really think he'll honestly answer any of the questions you have for him? No point revelling in the potential for their relationship to be messy either. It'll just keep her and him in your head. Move on. I agree with above. Trust is like reputation, hard to get but easy to squander. Even if you meet up, what will that achieve? He's lied to you before,when you were in need of a friend, what makes you think that he won't lie again to cover up his previous lies? He's currently living rent free in your head." Of course hes in my head. Hes fucking my ex lol. | |||
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