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Socials and previous message attempts
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I'm attending, with my wife, my first social since returning to the site, and had an interesting thought I wanted to ask people's experiences with, since there's a chance I'll encounter people there who I've previously sent messages to.
Have you ever encountered someone at a social who'd messaged you but to whom you didn't respond? Did that make things awkward? If I realise I've encountered or am about to encounter someone who indicated they had no interest in talking to me, should I try to avoid them? The last thing I want is to diminish anyone else's experience by being present somewhere I've been told I'm not wanted, but I don't know how much importance people even tend to place on this. |
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By *eliWoman 24 weeks ago
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The best thing to do? Not overthink it. I've had people who have blocked me then proceed to talk to me at socials. And later unblock me.
Have fun, enjoy it. If someone doesn't want to talk to you; you'll be able to pick up on that. Other than that? Don't worry. |
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"The best thing to do? Not overthink it. I've had people who have blocked me then proceed to talk to me at socials. And later unblock me.
Have fun, enjoy it. If someone doesn't want to talk to you; you'll be able to pick up on that. Other than that? Don't worry."
This is what I was thinking, but I didn't want to be that asshole who gets people's backs up for not knowing the etiquette. :P
Thanks, Meli. You're a star as always. |
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If someone is clearly giving the I don't want to talk to you vibe at a social, then I don't interrupt their experience and just go find people who are more open to conversation with me.
I know I'm hard work and easy to dislike. If someone blocks me on here but then talks to me at a social I don't think anything of it. Things can be very different in person to online. |
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I have a terrible memory so I have to wing it and just take things as they come. To be honest I put the forum and fab to one side and just talk to anyone. Unless they’ve pissed me off in real life then I just stay away. But socials are generally lovely, happy events so I wouldn’t worry. |
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By *hilloutMan 24 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"The best thing to do? Not overthink it. I've had people who have blocked me then proceed to talk to me at socials. And later unblock me.
Have fun, enjoy it. If someone doesn't want to talk to you; you'll be able to pick up on that. Other than that? Don't worry."
What the fora sage said   |
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First and foremost - enjoy yourself! It's just a social and an opportunity to connect and imbibe, dispensing with any agenda or heightened expectations.
I have had a couple of experiences where people have chatted to me for months and even years, sometimes with increasing ferocity in the lead up to the event, and then summarily snubbed me for reasons which are never clear. That's fine. Welcome to the idiosyncrasies of Fab. It happens. I still enjoyed myself nevertheless.
What amuses me is when they message you much later after the event to absolve themselves of their duplicitous behaviour remarking that it was such a shame we didn't get to chat.
What I find disrespectful is when they •repeatedly• message days and weeks afterwards asking to share a verification, like it's some badge of honour. |
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"First and foremost - enjoy yourself! It's just a social and an opportunity to connect and imbibe, dispensing with any agenda or heightened expectations.
I have had a couple of experiences where people have chatted to me for months and even years, sometimes with increasing ferocity in the lead up to the event, and then summarily snubbed me for reasons which are never clear. That's fine. Welcome to the idiosyncrasies of Fab. It happens. I still enjoyed myself nevertheless.
What amuses me is when they message you much later after the event to absolve themselves of their duplicitous behaviour remarking that it was such a shame we didn't get to chat.
What I find disrespectful is when they •repeatedly• message days and weeks afterwards asking to share a verification, like it's some badge of honour."
It's the flatcap Néro. Fashion kamikaze right there. |
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I've had people say that I've ignored their message or decline them at clubs or socials. That in itself makes it awkward. I'd say just be sociable but read the cues - you'll know if someone is being polite while wishing you'd move on or not.
There's a world of difference between not wanting to chat with someone you're not sexually interested in vs chatting socially at an event. |
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"First and foremost - enjoy yourself! It's just a social and an opportunity to connect and imbibe, dispensing with any agenda or heightened expectations.
I have had a couple of experiences where people have chatted to me for months and even years, sometimes with increasing ferocity in the lead up to the event, and then summarily snubbed me for reasons which are never clear. That's fine. Welcome to the idiosyncrasies of Fab. It happens. I still enjoyed myself nevertheless.
What amuses me is when they message you much later after the event to absolve themselves of their duplicitous behaviour remarking that it was such a shame we didn't get to chat.
What I find disrespectful is when they •repeatedly• message days and weeks afterwards asking to share a verification, like it's some badge of honour.
·
It's the flatcap Néro. Fashion kamikaze right there."
•
That's why I now hangout with the Goths, the Ghouls and the Visigoths, Prêy my goth-frock. ♥️ |
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By *bi HaiveMan 24 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I met someone at a local mini social with some friends recently that I'd message about 10 months ago.
They'd never read it. It had been bulk deleted along with a few hundred others.
When they realised they were hugely apologetic about it. I wasn't bothered at all. Totally understandable.
We've met several times since. We're off to the cinema tonight.
These things happen. Don't sweat it.  |
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Messages get ignored or deleted for all sorts of reasons. I wouldn’t worry about what happened before and just go with the flow. If it is working in real life then that tends to trump what has happened on the site and you might find you have just made a new friend. |
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By *ags73Man 24 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Yes and people we've blocked or who have blocked us. We use 'social courtesy' and behave as if none of it ever happened."
There’s an element of pretence to it, ‘oh you’re..’ but better to be polite and sometimes actually it’s okay |
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By *nnCeeWoman 24 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
I agree with the above, but just wanted to add: perhaps either side has blocked due to something they didn't particularly like on the respective profile (pictures, text, frequent message requests etc). If you then have a face-to-face interaction with that person/s, you may find that IRL, they're different from the impression received from pictures/messages.
It may be that someone you thought was going to be great turns out to be a bore, or someone you didn't particularly like the look of gives off great vibes and you find yourself drawn to them.
Go with an open mind: what you find, you find. As others have said, if someone seems to ignore you, let them be, otherwise, just chat!
And have a great time!! x |
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