FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Degrees of separation...
Degrees of separation...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
Tricky question.
Someone's previous partner history may give you a sense of who they are, which would obviously affect your perception of them?
No choices made are bad as long as people are honest
If I think someone is being judgemental I may be annoyed but, if that is the person they are I'm not sure they should be in my life
Just my thoughts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
It's far too complex a question to make simple.
I'd prefer NOT to know anyone else's sexual histories or partners. I prefer to make my own mind up based on interactions between myself and them. I prefer to take all precautions to keep myself safe - physically and psychologically.
If I found they met with someone that I feel is of bad character , I might question myself momentarily as to how they can mix with that 'type' but then put it behind me.
It would be 'behind me' based on the assumption that they met them for sex and not as a lifelong friend etc ... and also based on the fact that I was meeting them for sex and not as potential partner material.
I would NOT meet with them - despite the above - if I found they had ongoing or friendly connections with anyone from the fora who I find indiscrete, malicious, gossipy , untrustworthy etc ....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Last part of the Q .......
Would I take it badly if they judged me based on past meets....... to a degree , yes I would.
I'd say i'd been misjudged but i'd understand their right to make their own decisions based on the little they know and maybe keep my history to myself ( which I do in any case ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes
No
No"
This one. But also that sentiment can also be applied to me 
So the above answers if I know it straight off the bat. Having said that it's their response to that sexual history too and how recent it was, as people change. I'd probably have them as a friend though, just I don't think we'd be sexually compatible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"It has happened to me, a while ago I met with someone and another person I was talking to sent me a really shitty message and then blocked me.
My only thoughts there was her loss"
Do you think you'd be put off meeting someone based on who they're interacting/meeting with?
I don't think it's anyone's loss as such - just a quick sign you're not compatible and saving you ballache later down the line.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It has happened to me, a while ago I met with someone and another person I was talking to sent me a really shitty message and then blocked me.
My only thoughts there was her loss
Do you think you'd be put off meeting someone based on who they're interacting/meeting with?
I don't think it's anyone's loss as such - just a quick sign you're not compatible and saving you ballache later down the line. "
I am of the mind that I don't know enough people on here to form a judgement, so the likelihood is it would not affect my decision to meet someone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Not really because I haven't always made the right decisions despite being extremely fussy so I wouldn't necessarily judge someone based on that alone.
I would think twice though based on who they are currently seeing or verified by if they aren't consistent with their profile or if I know them to always be involved in some form of drama.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think this question has different depths to it.
As I would say the awnser to the first question is no as it's nothing to do with us who other people sleep with, however at the same time if they were i.e - meeting obvious people who were unhygienic/did bareback with multiple people than this awnser would change to a yes as this would then in respect affect us.
I would say no to both the other questions as I wouldn't say it's a bad thing either way, just preference, a is what it is kinda thing 
Miss S x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought this thread was going to be an attempt to draw the network diagram of forum sexual connections and figure out once and for all who our own Kevin Bacon is.
I’m disappointed now."
Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
Tricky question.
Someone's previous partner history may give you a sense of who they are, which would obviously affect your perception of them?
No choices made are bad as long as people are honest
If I think someone is being judgemental I may be annoyed but, if that is the person they are I'm not sure they should be in my life
Just my thoughts "
So... no choices are bad but if someone makes a choice you'll be annoyed? I'm gently teasing you, don't worry. :D
Aren't we all judgemental to varying degrees? When we meet someone we'll make a quick "judgement". We read something and we'll do the same again. I think because the word has come to have such negative, weighted connotations we don't like to think of ourselves as being judgemental but... we are.
(Look it's a general we because I'm lazy. I can own that. :D) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme 😂"
OMG Kevin Bacon could play a middle aged Spider-Man. Perfect casting. (Sorry not sorry for crossing Meli’s multiple threads. Consider it a multiverse plot.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
Morning Meli.
Someone's previous sexual partner's isn't our business, neither should ours be theirs, so it wouldn't affect us meeting them.
If it did affect us meeting it wouldn't be the end of the world as there's plenty more people who are willing to meet and don't care about the past, it's the hear and now that's important to us.
We definitely wouldn't take it badly life's to short we would just meet with someone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
And now a proper answer.
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?"
Possibly. It's only really on here where you can see veris where that would be an issue for me. If most of their previous partners were a very different type to me then I'd be wary.
"Is it a bad thing if it does? "
I don't know. It's a personal thing rather bad thing I think.
"Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
If you're not compatible then getting pouty will solve nothing. 😂
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
It's far too complex a question to make simple.
I'd prefer NOT to know anyone else's sexual histories or partners. I prefer to make my own mind up based on interactions between myself and them. I prefer to take all precautions to keep myself safe - physically and psychologically.
If I found they met with someone that I feel is of bad character , I might question myself momentarily as to how they can mix with that 'type' but then put it behind me.
It would be 'behind me' based on the assumption that they met them for sex and not as a lifelong friend etc ... and also based on the fact that I was meeting them for sex and not as potential partner material.
I would NOT meet with them - despite the above - if I found they had ongoing or friendly connections with anyone from the fora who I find indiscrete, malicious, gossipy , untrustworthy etc ....
"
See I thought it was quite nuanced at first and I'd possibly gone too far down the reductionist route but then a few replies where it was simply yes or no made me think, nah, I can leave it waffle free. :D
Taking precautions is understandable - I'm similar to you with regards to that. There are times where I've stepped away but it's not so much about them as it is about me protecting myself. Maybe a little about them. A smidgen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
Tricky question.
Someone's previous partner history may give you a sense of who they are, which would obviously affect your perception of them?
No choices made are bad as long as people are honest
If I think someone is being judgemental I may be annoyed but, if that is the person they are I'm not sure they should be in my life
Just my thoughts
So... no choices are bad but if someone makes a choice you'll be annoyed? I'm gently teasing you, don't worry. :D
Aren't we all judgemental to varying degrees? When we meet someone we'll make a quick "judgement". We read something and we'll do the same again. I think because the word has come to have such negative, weighted connotations we don't like to think of ourselves as being judgemental but... we are.
(Look it's a general we because I'm lazy. I can own that. :D)"
Tease away my darling...I make no claims to be consistent 😁
And yes I am also judgemental..you are absolutely right, we all are.
I guess it's a matter of whether their judgement aligns with mine.
😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"I thought this thread was going to be an attempt to draw the network diagram of forum sexual connections and figure out once and for all who our own Kevin Bacon is.
I’m disappointed now."
No, Rosie, it's not. I don't have enough bleach to scour myself after that reveal.
The forums are great though.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
It's far too complex a question to make simple.
I'd prefer NOT to know anyone else's sexual histories or partners. I prefer to make my own mind up based on interactions between myself and them. I prefer to take all precautions to keep myself safe - physically and psychologically.
If I found they met with someone that I feel is of bad character , I might question myself momentarily as to how they can mix with that 'type' but then put it behind me.
It would be 'behind me' based on the assumption that they met them for sex and not as a lifelong friend etc ... and also based on the fact that I was meeting them for sex and not as potential partner material.
I would NOT meet with them - despite the above - if I found they had ongoing or friendly connections with anyone from the fora who I find indiscrete, malicious, gossipy , untrustworthy etc ....
See I thought it was quite nuanced at first and I'd possibly gone too far down the reductionist route but then a few replies where it was simply yes or no made me think, nah, I can leave it waffle free. :D
Taking precautions is understandable - I'm similar to you with regards to that. There are times where I've stepped away but it's not so much about them as it is about me protecting myself. Maybe a little about them. A smidgen. "
It's very nuanced , not at all reductionist which is why I called it complex and couldn't be simple with the answer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
POssibly yes.
No it's part of us/them.
No. Everything we do has consequences. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What difference does it make who they have had sex with.
Am I missing something??
"
It can speak to their character, and I don't see my sexual partners as inanimate sexual accessories regardless of how casual an encounter it is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
No
No
No
It’s their life journey not mine.
The only thing I’m concerned with is sexual health. Nothing else is my business at all  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What difference does it make who they have had sex with.
Am I missing something??
It can speak to their character, and I don't see my sexual partners as inanimate sexual accessories regardless of how casual an encounter it is"
Just because they had sex with them doesn't speak to their character at all.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"I think this question has different depths to it.
As I would say the awnser to the first question is no as it's nothing to do with us who other people sleep with, however at the same time if they were i.e - meeting obvious people who were unhygienic/did bareback with multiple people than this awnser would change to a yes as this would then in respect affect us.
I would say no to both the other questions as I wouldn't say it's a bad thing either way, just preference, a is what it is kinda thing
Miss S x"
So it's situational... that makes sense. I think for me certain things would tell me I'm not compatible with them. Could I be wrong? Yes, of course.
I think if someone was really twunty about it I'd feel a bit meh but generally I can respect we all do things differently. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What difference does it make who they have had sex with.
Am I missing something??
"
It depends on the individual.
If they are having sex with people who don't bare any resemblance to the criteria laid out in their profile they are either deceptive or deluded.
If they demonise certain others in private chats but then go and shag one of that persons besties they are just playing games.
Just two reasons why it would put me off someone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What difference does it make who they have had sex with.
Am I missing something??
It can speak to their character, and I don't see my sexual partners as inanimate sexual accessories regardless of how casual an encounter it is
Just because they had sex with them doesn't speak to their character at all.
"
Maybe not in your opinion.
In mine it does |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes, of course it does.
If I am going to be the verification of the day/week I’m not interested. Also if the previous people follow a pattern/type and I am not part of that pattern/type…
I don’t think it’s wrong, not at all. Everyone is free to meet whomever they like using whatever criteria they see fit.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So it's situational... that makes sense. I think for me certain things would tell me I'm not compatible with them. Could I be wrong? Yes, of course.
I think if someone was really twunty about it I'd feel a bit meh but generally I can respect we all do things differently. "
We don't like the twunty kind neither
Miss S x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme 😂
OMG Kevin Bacon could play a middle aged Spider-Man. Perfect casting. (Sorry not sorry for crossing Meli’s multiple threads. Consider it a multiverse plot.)"
It's made me so happy that you did! You're an impressive specimen of ManTart.
Yeah, Bacon has that sort of cheeky energy which would be brilliant in that casting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxesMan 16 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
Not at all but it depends what footing you got off on when you split up.
For me I get on verry well with my exes and I am open to two of them about fab but that maybe because one showed me the fab ropes and the other one was a swinger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman 16 weeks ago
South Wales |
I’d like to think I’d be open minded like Granny C., but I know myself too well. If they’d met someone who I thought appeared a bit of a knobber, then I’d judge them. Unfairly maybe, but I’m only human. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Is it a bad thing if it does?
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
It's far too complex a question to make simple.
I'd prefer NOT to know anyone else's sexual histories or partners. I prefer to make my own mind up based on interactions between myself and them. I prefer to take all precautions to keep myself safe - physically and psychologically.
If I found they met with someone that I feel is of bad character , I might question myself momentarily as to how they can mix with that 'type' but then put it behind me.
It would be 'behind me' based on the assumption that they met them for sex and not as a lifelong friend etc ... and also based on the fact that I was meeting them for sex and not as potential partner material.
I would NOT meet with them - despite the above - if I found they had ongoing or friendly connections with anyone from the fora who I find indiscrete, malicious, gossipy , untrustworthy etc ....
"
Lol I want to a list of those to avoid! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
|
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them? "
Yes. For a few reasons, will it cause trouble/gymfit&bigger build/vwe and probably other stuff
" Is it a bad thing if it does? "
yes, it should be none of my business what history they have ( or who their fwbs are) but it’s a thing, and I sometimes wish it wasn’t.
" Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
no, I’d understand. But as above, I wish it didn’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them? "
Yes, maybe, no… erm…. Depends; on the WHO it was and if they made me feel inadequate in some way. There are few here, where I see a veri from a specific chap, and I immediately change course.😞
However for the right woman, with the right connection, magic, spark, etc….. I might see past it. Depends on how confident she’s helping me feel. 🌹
"Is it a bad thing if it does? "
No. My hang ups are my hang ups. I own it. 🍻
"Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?"
No, I auto-assume that before any form of positive response anyway. 👌 which isn’t the advice I give to others, my own self talk undoes mine! 
Chad ThunderCock |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes if they’ve caused craziness in the past.
No that’s just self preservation for a quiet life.
It’s everyone’s right so not bothered… and to be fair there may be a crazy in the historic mix for me too.. . But it’s unlikely anyone would know as mine are so old and I rarely meet anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
|
Hmmmmm... I'd be mindful if they were friends.. I wouldn't want to accidentally lamp post piss
I tend not to read too much into veris or pay much attention to them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"
It depends on the individual.
If they are having sex with people who don't bare any resemblance to the criteria laid out in their profile they are either deceptive or deluded.
If they demonise certain others in private chats but then go and shag one of that persons besties they are just playing games.
Just two reasons why it would put me off someone."
Yep, that would put me off someone as well. I've never understood how you could be so rude about someone (like saying the sex with them is dull and you'd much rather I was there as an example) and then proceed to continue fucking them. Such a turn off. I like when words match actions, find it too confusing otherwise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
|
"I’d like to think I’d be open minded like Granny C., but I know myself too well. If they’d met someone who I thought appeared a bit of a knobber, then I’d judge them. Unfairly maybe, but I’m only human."
Thing is, what if the knobber veris were hidden |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Yes, of course it does.
If I am going to be the verification of the day/week I’m not interested. Also if the previous people follow a pattern/type and I am not part of that pattern/type…
I don’t think it’s wrong, not at all. Everyone is free to meet whomever they like using whatever criteria they see fit.
"
That's how I see it. But I don't think people always like it. I'm not interested in being veri of the week, in being a swinger... it doesn't mean I think less of the person it's just... not for me (or you!) And there's nothing wrong with that. At all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Is this why i have never seen anyone display their friends lists ?"
the.
Noooo... you can have friends on here, yep, even here, that you don't smush bits against. :D
I do it because I like keeping things relatively private and also past experience has taught me to be more erm... low key. :D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Previous, no. Current, possibly. There are some toes I'm reluctant to step on.
If someone judges me for past choices without knowing the context or circumstances that's on them. I'd rather get the blatant incompatibility out of the way early 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Previous, no. Current, possibly. There are some toes I'm reluctant to step on.
If someone judges me for past choices without knowing the context or circumstances that's on them. I'd rather get the blatant incompatibility out of the way early 💜"
Why are you reluctant to step on toes in your six inchers? Is it because of positive or negative reasons?
I think that's what it comes down to really. If things align. How you judge, view things, what's important to you, how compatible or not you are with another. How it's handled is important but the main thing is... would it work? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 16 weeks ago
. |
"Would someone's previous sexual partners affect the likelihood of you meeting them?
Yes, maybe, no… erm…. Depends; on the WHO it was and if they made me feel inadequate in some way. There are few here, where I see a veri from a specific chap, and I immediately change course.😞
However for the right woman, with the right connection, magic, spark, etc….. I might see past it. Depends on how confident she’s helping me feel. 🌹
Is it a bad thing if it does?
No. My hang ups are my hang ups. I own it. 🍻
Would you take it badly if they didn't think you were compatible because of that?
No, I auto-assume that before any form of positive response anyway. 👌 which isn’t the advice I give to others, my own self talk undoes mine!
Chad ThunderCock"
Ha, I do the same. Why is it we advise people differently to how we talk to ourselves? I'm far too fond of assuming it's a platonic friendship, nothing more. Quick to believe that. I guess it's a daft form of self preservation.
Sorry to read that there's one who immediately makes you change course... is that a firm no always or does it depend on who the woman is?
It's interesting you say how confident *she's* helping you feel. Confident in you with her? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why are you reluctant to step on toes in your six inchers? Is it because of positive or negative reasons? "
The area I live in has a very small population. There are women that I know have similar styles and similar tastes to me, that have taken issue with me seeing the people they're seeing previously.
It's an unfortunate overlap. It has caused several large fallings out and a lot of jealousy and anger over the years.
I don't want to be seen as actively targeting their partners. Nor do I actually want to cause them any additional hurt knowing how they already feel about me.
That said. For one of my dearest partners, I had to suck it up and have the grown up conversation with his nesting partner when I knew she had some issues with me previously. Because I knew that connection was worth at least trying to repair that relationship 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's unlikely to have a significant influence on my decision. I do try to take people as I find them.
No I don't think it's a bad thing, it's a person's choice.
If we had an established relationship that's was going well I'd find it a bit bewildering and possibly could feel hurt. That's mine to own though. Otherwise no I'd probably be glad it happened then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can't even remember who I've shagged over the years, let alone have it written down somewhere for someone to ponder over and make a decision on me based on it
Maybe me not knowing who I've shagged and when would be enough for them to decide I was out of the running? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes
No
No"
Agreed.
But on the flip side, a man who asked me to verify me repeatedly hid then unhid my veri. When I asked him why he said it would be because he was pursuing someone and didn’t want her to judge him because of me.
Ouch, block. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find the whole veri concept extremely weird. It's not like I'd discuss who I've met/had sex with with all and sundry in my off Fab life... Yet here some people are displaying it for any old randomer to read 🫠 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *4bimMan 16 weeks ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"Yes
No
No
Agreed.
But on the flip side, a man who asked me to verify me repeatedly hid then unhid my veri. When I asked him why he said it would be because he was pursuing someone and didn’t want her to judge him because of me.
Ouch, block. "
Oh no. Really?
That's despicable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In the olden days if you picked someone up in a club or the yoghurt aisle in ASDA they rarely came with a written resume of previous partners.
Oh the good old days "
There often wasn’t time for me, it’s not far from the yoghurt aisle to behind the bins.
#KeepItClassy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We all have a past, the past most definitely should be left where it needs to be.
But it wouldn’t stop me if the connection between us was there though.
After all….its not their ex id be spending time with.
Live in the present, embrace exactly all you want with who you truly want to embrace it with 🥰 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes
No
No
Agreed.
But on the flip side, a man who asked me to verify me repeatedly hid then unhid my veri. When I asked him why he said it would be because he was pursuing someone and didn’t want her to judge him because of me.
Ouch, block.
Oh no. Really?
That's despicable "
Right? I choosing to think of it as he didn’t want her to be intimidated by me 😜🤣🤪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
