I've flitted between swinging and kink over the last couple of years. There definitely seems to be a correlation, but I also noticed that there is a clear Chinese wall between the two in terms of events and groups (certainly wise for events).
Generally what are your opinions, are you open to the idea of Fetish and kink, or do you think it is a waste of 'adult' time? I find they hit me in phases. |
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I'm not a swinger, just a promiscuous slut who likes borrowing husbands, with his wife's consent. Full lingerie, outdoor sex and tantra are other sexual kinks of mine.
My clear divide is my bdsm, which is strictly non sexual. Which is more what the munches lean to discussion wise, with tips for techniques, tools and new ideas for scenes  |
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As a kinkster, I find some swing/kink crossover events to be hard work.
There is a certain etiquette at kink events that is missing from them.
I don't appreciate the fact that during an impact scene the some find it funny to pick up my impact toys without permission.
I play hard and heavy and find it off-putting when there are comments like "I don't know how someone can do that to a woman", which has happened and spoils the vibe and ruins the scene, so I tend to avoid crossover events |
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Remembering that there is a clear difference between a fetish and a kink I would say that the main difference would be for me is that both require a strong connection built on open and honest communication that in turn brings trust and understanding.
That takes time. Real time. I call it being an onion. Peeling back the layers of vulnerability to let someone in. Really in
I have found that on the whole now on here they don’t want that commitment of time
Just my thoughts |
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I agree largely with what is said. I actually didn't mean as an event, I meant more as the side of you.
I keep mine very separate and have been on far more munches than I have socials, but far less kink events than I have Fab meets.
I find kink can be a really interesting exploration but needs a clear and serious discussion, whereas Fab tends to allow for more humour and relaxation.
It's great to hear what people think. |
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For the most part it's two fairly different scenes.
You can't reasonably expect someone on the swinging scene to respect the typical etiquette that accompanies a fetish event, so it's only ever a bit of fun if C and I do any BDSM stuff at a swing event, and we only do that if there's a dedicated dungeon which suggests they're comfortable with BDSM being practiced there.
But yeah, there's definitely a lot of crossover but in my experience it tends to be swingers who are more interested in learning about kink than the other way around. |
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I think the clear and serious vs humour and relaxation is more down to the chemistry between chosen partners than whether it's about kink or swing.
Some kinds of kink, free use and all that faff sit better at crossover events. I'm more just a happy masochist so I prefer to keep that to just kink events where the attendees know the etiquette and I won't be interrupted.
To get properly into that headspace I need a real connection with my sadist, I'm not going to find it with randoms at an event. But happy swinging hedonism is a different game entirely, so I go to different events when that's the mood 💜 |
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Aye we once had to leave the room at a swinging event not because the of the swingers' lack of etiquette but because there was a kinky couple who came in and decided to to do edge play on a super busy party night. That in of itself would've been fine if a little questionable, but they proceeded to scold several people for not being quiet and telling them how dangerous it was.
Really rather boiled my piss that did. Coming into a full, noisy room on a very busy swingers night to engage in one of the more out there and dangerous practices in kink, to then bollock *them*. Not cool at all. |
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"I think the clear and serious vs humour and relaxation is more down to the chemistry between chosen partners than whether it's about kink or swing.
Some kinds of kink, free use and all that faff sit better at crossover events. I'm more just a happy masochist so I prefer to keep that to just kink events where the attendees know the etiquette and I won't be interrupted.
To get properly into that headspace I need a real connection with my sadist, I'm not going to find it with randoms at an event. But happy swinging hedonism is a different game entirely, so I go to different events when that's the mood 💜"
Regarding your first paragraph, I suppose I had never considered the two sides of me in that context before.
Incidentally, thinking back I'm certainly more into kink when I am really happy in who I am and often when I am happy with someone else. Where as swinging is more when I feel a little adrift. Perhaps I need to review that!
I agree about the different events, I think it is important to know which is which. |
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I’m a kinkster and definitely not a swinger. I do love Fab though and have made many friends here and enjoy the socials probably a little too much 🤣
Events wise I don’t think it’s a good idea crossing them over. |
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