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Hiring a Cleaner
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One of Tom's suppliers has been harangued constantly by his wife because she gets no help from him with the cleaning, washing, ironing and hoovering. Business is going well and he is earning much more from Tom's contracts and he has offered to employ a cleaner to take away a ot of the strain but she is still not happy. Surely it's the perfect solution or could there be more to this than meets the eye |
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By *r TriomanMan 22 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Or he could just do his share or the housework?
Maybe his wife wants him to realise it's not just her job and to tidy up after himself. "
We all excel at different things; my skill is Mechanical Engineering and DIY so I do most of my own vehicle and home repairs however, I'm pants at painting and decorating therefore, I hire someone in to do that stuff. Tom, your friend seems to be great at earning the big bucks through his contracts with him but is rubbish at being a domestic hygiene ninja; using his wealth earned through his skill as a contractor to off set his lack of skills as master of the mop and duster is a justifiable approach. |
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If she's just saying that she's not happy with the amount of housework she has to do, it's a viable solution.
If she's saying that he's a lazy arse and can he please just put his laundry in the basket and not leave wet towels crumpled on the floor, a cleaner won't help unless they follow him around every moment he's home.
Sometimes it's more about the disrespect for someone's living space and efforts than the actual labour 💜 |
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If he thinks he's helping her by cleaning up mess that he's made then I think therein lies the problem.
Based on zero evidence and not knowing either person I'd say he needs to stop whinging and find out what's really wrong instead of throwing money at the problem. |
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"One of Tom's suppliers has been harangued constantly by his wife because she gets no help from him with the cleaning, washing, ironing and hoovering. Business is going well and he is earning much more from Tom's contracts and he has offered to employ a cleaner to take away a ot of the strain but she is still not happy. Surely it's the perfect solution or could there be more to this than meets the eye"
In that case it's not her real problem. They need to talk. |
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"But all of her problems are solved surely. Tom knows how hard he works and he is the breadwinner. He brings the bacon home"
Its possibky that attitude Tom. A cleaner us only part of the solution. Talk to her to find out why she is not happy with that solution. As others have said it may be more of a problem os disresoect. |
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If you work long hours and put the bread on the table then surely he can't clean as well. He provides for his children and her hobbies at the gym. She does not even provide pin money. He provides a cleaner and she is not happy. The marriage is doomed. |
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"If you work long hours and put the bread on the table then surely he can't clean as well. He provides for his children and her hobbies at the gym. She does not even provide pin money. He provides a cleaner and she is not happy. The marriage is doomed. "
So not only is he bringing home bacon but also bread... does he work in Asda..? |
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"But all of her problems are solved surely. Tom knows how hard he works and he is the breadwinner. He brings the bacon home"
He has to shower her with flowers, chocolate and diamonds.
Or maybe a nice, new frigerator will do the trick. |
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"But all of her problems are solved surely. Tom knows how hard he works and he is the breadwinner. He brings the bacon home
He has to shower her with flowers, chocolate and diamonds.
Or maybe a nice, new frigerator will do the trick. "
 I reckon if he bought her a Dyson she'd be happy . |
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"But all of her problems are solved surely. Tom knows how hard he works and he is the breadwinner. He brings the bacon home
He has to shower her with flowers, chocolate and diamonds.
Or maybe a nice, new frigerator will do the trick.
I reckon if he bought her a Dyson she'd be happy . "
You are being sexist now surely? |
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"But all of her problems are solved surely. Tom knows how hard he works and he is the breadwinner. He brings the bacon home
He has to shower her with flowers, chocolate and diamonds.
Or maybe a nice, new frigerator will do the trick.
I reckon if he bought her a Dyson she'd be happy .
You are being sexist now surely?"
How so? |
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"Perhaps she just wanted more to feel like her useless prick of a husband was actually helping her out than it was about the actual cleaning getting done "
What evidence do you have this man is a "useless prick of a husband" if, as Tom says, he works hard and provides for his family.
Tom, does the wife work? If not she should shut up and get on with her housewifely duties. If she does work then housework should be shared proportionately, i.e., if she only does a few hours a week then she should do the majority of the chores. If they work equal hours then housework should be split equally. |
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"One of Tom's suppliers has been harangued constantly by his wife because she gets no help from him with the cleaning, washing, ironing and hoovering. Business is going well and he is earning much more from Tom's contracts and he has offered to employ a cleaner to take away a ot of the strain but she is still not happy. Surely it's the perfect solution or could there be more to this than meets the eye"
She told him she had a problem. He fixed the problem. Now she has a different problem. As nobody reads minds maybe she should tell him what her real problem is otherwise how can she expect him to fix it? |
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I overheard a guy in a pub once complaining that his wife had been using the tumble dryer even in good weather, so he took the tumble dryer away.
The following week he was in there complaining that his work clothes were still damp when he went to put them on.
A little conversation can often sort out the knotty marital problems.  |
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"If you work long hours and put the bread on the table then surely he can't clean as well. He provides for his children and her hobbies at the gym. She does not even provide pin money. He provides a cleaner and she is not happy. The marriage is doomed. "
doomed I say .
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It sounds like he has been told that the perfect solution is for him to physically share the burden. If she asks for a cleaner, that's fine but he sounds like he doesn't want to listen, despite her being very clear |
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"I overheard a guy in a pub once complaining that his wife had been using the tumble dryer even in good weather, so he took the tumble dryer away.
The following week he was in there complaining that his work clothes were still damp when he went to put them on.
A little conversation can often sort out the knotty marital problems. "
To be fair.. there is no need to use a tumble dryer when there are good drying conditions outside. the sign of a lazy housewife |
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"I overheard a guy in a pub once complaining that his wife had been using the tumble dryer even in good weather, so he took the tumble dryer away.
The following week he was in there complaining that his work clothes were still damp when he went to put them on.
A little conversation can often sort out the knotty marital problems.
To be fair.. there is no need to use a tumble dryer when there are good drying conditions outside. the sign of a lazy housewife "
Exactly Tom, imagine her being so lazy that she ensured her husband's clothes were properly aired so he didn't have to go to work with them damp. |
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Funny you should mention cleaners. My wife and I want to hire a part time house-maid, F only please, who will clean up on a Saturday morning, walk the dog, buy our newspaper, make us coffee, bring it to our bedroom then undress slowly for our pleasure. Any offers!  |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores. "
I don't know about that. I know one of my partners has a wife that absolutely hates anyone else doing the cleaning because it's not done the way she likes it then.
There's also the issue of just dismissing the issue by throwing money at it instead of actually respecting enough to discuss it properly. |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores. "
You see the thing is Tom you've missed out so much information here that we're all guessing. I suspect that was your intention.
We have always worked on the basis that the person out of the house the longest did the least in the way of household chores. However we've always worked on the assumption that our home is a joint responsibility and as a team we work to !maintain it!
Now whether the woman in your example is worth her salt is neither here nor there but I've love a cleaner. |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores.
You see the thing is Tom you've missed out so much information here that we're all guessing. I suspect that was your intention.
We have always worked on the basis that the person out of the house the longest did the least in the way of household chores. However we've always worked on the assumption that our home is a joint responsibility and as a team we work to !maintain it!
Now whether the woman in your example is worth her salt is neither here nor there but I've love a cleaner."
So hire one..
Done |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores.
You see the thing is Tom you've missed out so much information here that we're all guessing. I suspect that was your intention.
We have always worked on the basis that the person out of the house the longest did the least in the way of household chores. However we've always worked on the assumption that our home is a joint responsibility and as a team we work to !maintain it!
Now whether the woman in your example is worth her salt is neither here nor there but I've love a cleaner.
So hire one..
Done"
We can't afford to Tom. |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores.
You see the thing is Tom you've missed out so much information here that we're all guessing. I suspect that was your intention.
We have always worked on the basis that the person out of the house the longest did the least in the way of household chores. However we've always worked on the assumption that our home is a joint responsibility and as a team we work to !maintain it!
Now whether the woman in your example is worth her salt is neither here nor there but I've love a cleaner.
So hire one..
Done
We can't afford to Tom. "
Sorry. My condolences |
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"Let's. Be fair here. Any housewife worth her salt would love a cleaner to help deal with her chores.
You see the thing is Tom you've missed out so much information here that we're all guessing. I suspect that was your intention.
We have always worked on the basis that the person out of the house the longest did the least in the way of household chores. However we've always worked on the assumption that our home is a joint responsibility and as a team we work to !maintain it!
Now whether the woman in your example is worth her salt is neither here nor there but I've love a cleaner.
So hire one..
Done
We can't afford to Tom.
Sorry. My condolences "
it's ok Tom nobody died |
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