FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is this weird / stalking ?
Is this weird / stalking ?
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I'm a photographer, I photograph all subjects from weddings, portraits, nudes etc.
One day I was doing a nude photoshoot at a local lake, it's private, I know it well and I know there's no one around. Or so I thought. Along the path I saw a guy, watching the shoot and when I spotted him he walked off.
Six months later I joined Fab., I then get a message from guess who . Yes the guy. Message basically said he had seen me doing the photoshoot. I asked if his wife would like a photoshoot but he declined the offer as his wife didn't know he was on Fab. So a year later I moved half a mile down the same road.
I now get a message from him asking how my new place was ! ! ! I've now blocked him.
I'm not promoting any commercial services.
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He message you twice over 6 months? That’s stalking?
He may be shy to ask, testing you are trustworthy.
He may be a photographer
He may be a voyeur
He may run a magazine and you missed an opportunity? |
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OP if I haven't googled this but your username is _urreyphotographer and underneath it gives your locale as kt16. Would that be the first line of your post code? If it is, whether it's the same guy or someone else, you are inviting people to reasonable accurately. If you have any public pics I suspect anyone local would be able to put two and two together (if it is your postcode), more so if you have a business? |
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I think some people just love proving that they know things about other people, like they are some sort of James Bond cross inspector Morse!
I had a guy on here tell me that he really admired me for what I did and he thought I looked great and completely different from how I look as a guy when I am at work!! 
“ oh but don’t worry, your secret is safe with me!”
He never has told me who he is !
Mind nothing has ever been said at work or where I live!
I think he just loved the idea of knowing my secret  |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"And?
The op is asking if this behaviour is weird / stalking?  "
Not convinced that it is stalking - just showing he knows who the OP is and where he lives (possibly considering himself a clever sleuth, or since the OP indicates he is bi-curious, it could be an expression of interest too).
Not even convinced it is 'weird'. Most on here could be considered weird by others. I think the bloke was showing off, but as a subsequent poster says the OP provides details which if they are true could be used to trace him (Jon, lives in the Chertsey/Lyne/Ottershaw area and is a photographer with images of himself on his profile page) - some people get a kick out of sleuthing. |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"^^ it's the anonymous
'I know who you are, ner ner ner' they get a kick from. Otherwise they'd say
' hi I'm Fred we know each other because we both use the Spit and Sawdust'.
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It could be an attempt to provoke interest or a response. But yes, some people can be quite perverse and either like to play with someone, or even cause fear and anxiety by leaving the impression that the person is being watched (or if it goes further, stalked). |
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"^^ it's the anonymous
'I know who you are, ner ner ner' they get a kick from. Otherwise they'd say
' hi I'm Fred we know each other because we both use the Spit and Sawdust'.
It could be an attempt to provoke interest or a response. But yes, some people can be quite perverse and either like to play with someone, or even cause fear and anxiety by leaving the impression that the person is being watched (or if it goes further, stalked)."
Yeah. I tend not to give these sorts any attention. If someone wants to play this sort of game I'm not the ideal team member |
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"It sounds like he's more attentive than a stalker "
I agree, possibly has OP on his Hotlist and is aware of new updates to profile..
2 messages over 6 months is nothing, and if had chatted before more than likely just was innocent inquiry as to how move was and to restart communication |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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If you feel it’s weird, it’s weird to you. No one else should really matter. You’ve blocked him so hopefully that’s the last of him messaging you. If you’re uncomfortable perhaps find a new shooting location elsewhere. You’ll likely still be watched by him but simply not be privy to knowing, which would be stalker-like in my opinion. |
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"If you feel it’s weird, it’s weird to you. No one else should really matter. You’ve blocked him so hopefully that’s the last of him messaging you. If you’re uncomfortable perhaps find a new shooting location elsewhere. You’ll likely still be watched by him but simply not be privy to knowing, which would be stalker-like in my opinion. "
Exactly this.  |
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🤔 why didn't you block him after the first couple of inquisitive messages?
But you say "I have offered him many shoots that he's declined"
Which means you chatted to him instead of blocking him. Kinda incouraging him? 🤔
But no, defo not stalking and not really wierd. He more likely lives close to you, noticed you moved and asking how you liking your new place.
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I think it's a side effect of showing your face
I had it a few weeks ago (my face was showing at the time)
They never identified themselves (it was in a public place)
It didn't phase me - I replied and said if they were on their own, they were more than welcome to join me for a brew
That said, if someone gave it the 'I know where you live' bollocks, I would block and report
I get we live in urban areas, I get there will be other members around my area, but there's just a time and a place
My next door neighbour is here - I have no idea if his wife knows or not and, tbh, it's none of my business
Block and let him experience the site in peace |
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"Very weird, everyone that is saying "it's nothing" would 100% have an issue if it happened to them "
Not everyone. When you have been on the net since dial up you've seen and heard it all.
Had people message us saying they seen us here and there. Which they had given the place and time they had sent. You live 5 doors down, which we do. Etc etc etc.
If we were that bothered we wouldnt hold socials nearly every saturday at our home and put photos with faces on.
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