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If a man...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fails to get an erection with you, would you consider it your fault or theirs or a joint "failure"?
This is a hypothetical question by the way as I have seen recently guys blaming themselves and women saying well the bloke can't fancy me then, what's wrong with me type thing....so thought I'd ask the all seeing and knowing what your opinion is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some times it happens. I dont see it necessarily as a failure as it could ve through tiredness or stress or other factors.
It happens to me even if I take a tablet sometimes. As long as I can satisfy and please in other ways tgen that makes up for it.
Fucking is all there is to pleasing a woman, even if I dont get stiff or cum but she leaves smiling I consider it a job well done... im not selfish |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
if I didn't find them attractive, I wouldn't start to play to then not get an erection.
If I started to play and then couldn't: then many factors...hygiene, discovering that their kids are upstairs and many more.
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Sometimes it just happens, it maybe put down to tiredness, stress or a variety of reasons. It doesn't particularly bother me when it won't get rock hard, but there are more ways to kill a cat etc..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Almost without fail, my first time has been problematic, mainly because I have the desire, but no connection with the lady, no matter how attractive.....
Similarly, without fail, if there is enough attraction for a rematch.... It's generally a perfect meeting of mind and body....
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if I didn't find them attractive, I wouldn't start to play to then not get an erection.
If I started to play and then couldn't: then many factors...hygiene, discovering that their kids are upstairs and many more.
"
Yes I suppose if there were other factors eg hygiene issues or indeed kids about I would imagine that would put anyone off!
More thinking if there is an attraction, & no other issues if one "fails" to "perform" do not some men or indeed women not then take it to heart? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt take it personally. Sometimes the pressure on a bloke to perform, particularly if with a beautiful woman, can affect his performance. They say the mind is the main sexual organ, so if a blokes nervous or anxious this can affect him downstairs! 
Also, he could be on medication that may affect his ability to perform. I certainly wouldnt worry if i were you...cos you're gorgeous!  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"if I didn't find them attractive, I wouldn't start to play to then not get an erection.
If I started to play and then couldn't: then many factors...hygiene, discovering that their kids are upstairs and many more.
Yes I suppose if there were other factors eg hygiene issues or indeed kids about I would imagine that would put anyone off!
More thinking if there is an attraction, & no other issues if one "fails" to "perform" do not some men or indeed women not then take it to heart?"
indeed they will, the insecurities of some will come to the surface. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt take it personally. Sometimes the pressure on a bloke to perform, particularly if with a beautiful woman, can affect his performance. They say the mind is the main sexual organ, so if a blokes nervous or anxious this can affect him downstairs!
Also, he could be on medication that may affect his ability to perform. I certainly wouldnt worry if i were you...cos you're gorgeous! "
I am not worried and not something I have faced, however as I know it happens...hence I asked.  |
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It happens and it's no ones fault really. Nerves, a little too much Dutch courage, tiredness, stage fright can all contribute. With women lack of physical arousal isn't so obvious but is often for the same reasons and can be more easily remedied.
As others have said sex is about much more than penetration alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt take it personally. Sometimes the pressure on a bloke to perform, particularly if with a beautiful woman, can affect his performance. They say the mind is the main sexual organ, so if a blokes nervous or anxious this can affect him downstairs!
Also, he could be on medication that may affect his ability to perform. I certainly wouldnt worry if i were you...cos you're gorgeous!
I am not worried and not something I have faced, however as I know it happens...hence I asked. "
Ok, sorry...no offence meant  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
As others have said sex is about much more than penetration alone "
Absolutely!
Couldn't agree more, as I said some though believe differently and that is what I was more getting at. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt take it personally. Sometimes the pressure on a bloke to perform, particularly if with a beautiful woman, can affect his performance. They say the mind is the main sexual organ, so if a blokes nervous or anxious this can affect him downstairs!
Also, he could be on medication that may affect his ability to perform. I certainly wouldnt worry if i were you...cos you're gorgeous!
I am not worried and not something I have faced, however as I know it happens...hence I asked.
Ok, sorry...no offence meant "
None taken  |
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"It happens and it's no ones fault really. Nerves, a little too much Dutch courage, tiredness, stage fright can all contribute. With women lack of physical arousal isn't so obvious but is often for the same reasons and can be more easily remedied.
As others have said sex is about much more than penetration alone "
Imagine my cock is a candle on the cake,you get to blow it first, but there's lots more around it to enjoy.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt put me off but must admit that i would take it a little to heart....not that its ever happened by the way  "
This is what I mean, I know some can and do take it to heart, not singling you out btw |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if it does happen, I would imagine people will worry that the folk involved will blab to others"
Yes and therefore a guys ego is dented no matter what. |
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Good topic!
Getting an erection is mostly a mental thing for guys. A guy might have an intense level of sexual attraction to someone, but until they enter "the zone" where their brain is aroused too, there won't be any physical response, no matter how hard you try.
I'm very visual, so a lot of the time, all it takes is for me to see something appealing to get that rush of blood.
I lose my erection after a certain amount of time receiving blowjobs. That's purely on me, and no one else. However, some previous partners have taken this as a sign of a failing in their "skills" despite explanation. Sometimes, even with foreplay, i won't get hard until i'm going down on a woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a lady from here and we went to a club. We went to a private room and although I pleased her orally, I wasn't able to get hard which I found embarrasing if i'm being honest, and it is a bit of a dent to the old ego. You wonder if there's something wrong with you, and it makes you more scared of future meets as you don't want the same thing happening again!
Looking back I can see there were a number of reasons why I wasn't able to get hard, but that doesnt stop your mind thinking there's somert wrong with you!  |
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I've had a guy lose it once and if I'm honest he was more bothered than me. He was mortified and clearly embarrassed but its one of those things. First meet nerves etc I'm sometimes too stressed from work to fully get into things but like someone said earlier its not so obvious in a women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like most, it has happened to me too ....I didn't see it as a fault, his or mine but did my best to reassure him as he seemed to feel he had let me down ....which so wasn't the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met a lady from here and we went to a club. We went to a private room and although I pleased her orally, I wasn't able to get hard which I found embarrasing if i'm being honest, and it is a bit of a dent to the old ego. You wonder if there's something wrong with you, and it makes you more scared of future meets as you don't want the same thing happening again!
Looking back I can see there were a number of reasons why I wasn't able to get hard, but that doesnt stop your mind thinking there's somert wrong with you! "
Yes and I believe it then becomes a psychological problem rather than a physical one. |
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I had this happen to me on a meet the woman was understanding and it never stopped play as I just have her oral most of the night think mine was nerves and being tired from work and burning the candle both ends catches up with you eventually  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this has happened to most guys at some point in their lives it usually manifests itself in not being able to gain an erection or sometimes getting over excited and cumming quickly.
I remember seeing a girl years back and every time I tried to put on a condom I lost my erection. I remember opening up to her about being nervous and wanting to enjoy the moment and after I did that, with reassurance from her it never happened again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it just happens, it maybe put down to tiredness, stress or a variety of reasons. It doesn't particularly bother me when it won't get rock hard, but there are more ways to kill a cat etc..... "
Surely though if the guy is feeling tired, stressed out, etc they should really think about committing to a meet knowing for well the possible inclinations of erectile disfunction!
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
It happens. Sometimes you know it's because there isn't really the connection and it's more about not wanting to masturbate alone. Other times you know it's nerves. Whether I give someone a second chance depends on the level of communication/rapport established.
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it just happens, it maybe put down to tiredness, stress or a variety of reasons. It doesn't particularly bother me when it won't get rock hard, but there are more ways to kill a cat etc.....
Surely though if the guy is feeling tired, stressed out, etc they should really think about committing to a meet knowing for well the possible inclinations of erectile disfunction!
"
Yes quite possibly not the best circumstances to meet. |
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all."
A man can be sexually aroused by a person he has no connection with beyond a physical one. Its biology. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all."
Surely that is just a physical thing then? As I am sure, might be a generalisation, but that most men whether there is a mental connection or not have one aim in mind? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
A man can be sexually aroused by a person he has no connection with beyond a physical one. Its biology."
Yes, this! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
A man can be sexually aroused by a person he has no connection with beyond a physical one. Its biology."
However with that in mind and no mental connection and the biology fails, what then is the reason? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
Surely that is just a physical thing then? As I am sure, might be a generalisation, but that most men whether there is a mental connection or not have one aim in mind? "
I don't know what the physical 'thing' is with them. I questioned one man and he said he didn't fancy me at all but I was there and he was horny. The one aim in mind seems to be enough for some and not for others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it's the situation...sometimes it's the woman...sometimes it's guilt...sometimes it's mental....sometimes it's fear....sometimes it's medication....sometimes it's health....sometimes it's drink...sometimes it's tiredness...
And sometimes it's all of the above. |
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
A man can be sexually aroused by a person he has no connection with beyond a physical one. Its biology.
However with that in mind and no mental connection and the biology fails, what then is the reason? "
A situational one. For instance (hypothetically), i get aroused by a woman i hardly know, and we agree to have sex.
1) Location could cause a loss of erection. This is a mental thing.
2) Physical attribute or action could cause a loss of erection. See my above example of blowjobs in my case. After a few minutes, i'll lose interest as they generally do nothing for me. Doesn't mean i'm any less sexually attracted to the person.
3) Environmental factors. It could be cold (we've heard that one before). Sometimes, even the most seasoned doggers suffer the dreaded droop when all they want to do is smash the back doors off another willing party, hehe. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
A man can be sexually aroused by a person he has no connection with beyond a physical one. Its biology.
However with that in mind and no mental connection and the biology fails, what then is the reason?
A situational one. For instance (hypothetically), i get aroused by a woman i hardly know, and we agree to have sex.
1) Location could cause a loss of erection. This is a mental thing.
2) Physical attribute or action could cause a loss of erection. See my above example of blowjobs in my case. After a few minutes, i'll lose interest as they generally do nothing for me. Doesn't mean i'm any less sexually attracted to the person.
3) Environmental factors. It could be cold (we've heard that one before). Sometimes, even the most seasoned doggers suffer the dreaded droop when all they want to do is smash the back doors off another willing party, hehe."
Loving no 3/ Love to hear that when you are in a nice snug cosy bed 
P.S Blow jobs are covered on the other thread |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
Surely that is just a physical thing then? As I am sure, might be a generalisation, but that most men whether there is a mental connection or not have one aim in mind?
I don't know what the physical 'thing' is with them. I questioned one man and he said he didn't fancy me at all but I was there and he was horny. The one aim in mind seems to be enough for some and not for others."
Yes indeed and perhaps the ones with the one aim in mind are ones who do not suffer from the problem I outlined?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldnt consider it a failure at all...
Gus are under far more pressure than us women...Would put it down to nerves and just have good night regardless...."
I am sure you would, but what I am trying to say in this thread, although it is a biological reaction for guys, when that fails it then becomes psychological, which can be self defeatist and I am sure many guys who may have encountered this issue may be ok at the time and continue etc but possibly go home ego dented and berate themselves. |
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"
Loving no 3/ Love to hear that when you are in a nice snug cosy bed
P.S Blow jobs are covered on the other thread "
Hahaha, i can't speak from experience for number 3 when in a warm, snug bed. Maybe they guy is tired at the time. Or nervous. A friend once described it as "performance related false starts" |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I think I find it more disconcerting when a man has an erection even though I don't get the feeling that we have a connection at all.
Surely that is just a physical thing then? As I am sure, might be a generalisation, but that most men whether there is a mental connection or not have one aim in mind?
I don't know what the physical 'thing' is with them. I questioned one man and he said he didn't fancy me at all but I was there and he was horny. The one aim in mind seems to be enough for some and not for others.
Yes indeed and perhaps the ones with the one aim in mind are ones who do not suffer from the problem I outlined?
"
I have wondered that before: I mat be doomed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All sorts of situations can affect a mans erectile functions!
Worry
Stress
Nerves
Tiredness
Drink!
I wouldn't blame anyone and would just find something else to do that didn't involve hiding the sausage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens and would I be offended no, it' can be done to so many things. Stress, tiredness, drink etc, if it kept happening then it would be something we would need to discuss but I'm a patient person and it as happened in the past and when it as I've still had an amazing night |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All sorts of situations can affect a mans erectile functions!
Worry
Stress
Nerves
Tiredness
Drink!
I wouldn't blame anyone and would just find something else to do that didn't involve hiding the sausage "
Yes indeed, I suppose I am delving into whether it does affect either m or f psychologically |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It has happened to us before and I don't see it as a failure, I don't really think its that much of a big deal.
I accept that meeting a couple can be quite intimidating for a single guy, especially if its something he hasn't experienced often. He knows he's going to be getting naked in front of another man, he's going to be watched, he's going to be in close proximity, and that much be extremely daunting.
Also once the though is in the head about not getting an erection then its sure to happen and getting stressed about it is going to make the situation worse.
There are many things a threesome can achieve. I like to be watched so its a turn on for me that another guy would be atching me and the OH.
On the occasions its happened I've never thought it was down to me and I've never taken it to heart I have known and could very easily tell that the guy was attracted to me. I don't expect a grand performance, I don't see sex and swinging as having to conform to a high level of sexual skill, stamina and performance. Its an unusual situation and its perfectly natural to react in this way.
I find the statements of 'it wouldn't bother me if a guy couldn't get an erection, not that its ever happened to me' quite insightful. That statement alone proves that women do take it to heart and don't like to admit it in case other people, other women in particular, judge her on her looks or sexiness and it is seen as failure.
If a woman is confident with herself then it wouldn't be seen as anything to worry or bother about
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It has happened to us before and I don't see it as a failure, I don't really think its that much of a big deal.
I accept that meeting a couple can be quite intimidating for a single guy, especially if its something he hasn't experienced often. He knows he's going to be getting naked in front of another man, he's going to be watched, he's going to be in close proximity, and that much be extremely daunting.
Also once the though is in the head about not getting an erection then its sure to happen and getting stressed about it is going to make the situation worse.
There are many things a threesome can achieve. I like to be watched so its a turn on for me that another guy would be atching me and the OH.
On the occasions its happened I've never thought it was down to me and I've never taken it to heart I have known and could very easily tell that the guy was attracted to me. I don't expect a grand performance, I don't see sex and swinging as having to conform to a high level of sexual skill, stamina and performance. Its an unusual situation and its perfectly natural to react in this way.
I find the statements of 'it wouldn't bother me if a guy couldn't get an erection, not that its ever happened to me' quite insightful. That statement alone proves that women do take it to heart and don't like to admit it in case other people, other women in particular, judge her on her looks or sexiness and it is seen as failure.
If a woman is confident with herself then it wouldn't be seen as anything to worry or bother about
"
Yes agreed and a great post, I was thinking of one on one and hadn't thought re a single guy joining a couple, but well said Iconic.  |
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"Fails to get an erection with you, would you consider it your fault or theirs or a joint "failure"?
This is a hypothetical question by the way as I have seen recently guys blaming themselves and women saying well the bloke can't fancy me then, what's wrong with me type thing....so thought I'd ask the all seeing and knowing what your opinion is? "
I would absolutely take it to heart,...and see it as my fault...I think that says more about me than him though...x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had problems a few times when meeting on here.
Now I'm with someone it seems to have gone away. Except in the car. Never been into car sex "
Good for you, for saying and for it going away...(not in an offensive way btw...pleased to hear ) But yes agreed re the car as way too uncomfortable! |
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I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right |
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right "
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right "
Thank you, I am genuinely interested in it, eg how it does affect a man's mind and I know it can be damaging if not then (at the moment), but latterly. Also seeing so many threads on here re why can't a bloke get etc etc...
I think as said for women it is easier, as for men it is biological and psychological and yes I have over used that words today |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??"
That is where the mind is very powerful I believe and can over take biological or sexual factors. |
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??"
Let me pose you a question....say for instance you've never had a problem having orgasms from clitoral stimulation. Then you get with a guy you are very attracted to and vice versa.
For some reason, when you meet, you aren't 100% comfortable. Not necessarily with him, but just in general. As a result, you can't get your orgasm despite him doing everything right.
Should he take that to heart, despite him not being able to do anything about factors outside of his control?
(just using the above as an example, i know it isn't quite the same thing, but i hope you'll indulge me) |
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"
Thank you, I am genuinely interested in it, eg how it does affect a man's mind and I know it can be damaging if not then (at the moment), but latterly. Also seeing so many threads on here re why can't a bloke get etc etc...
I think as said for women it is easier, as for men it is biological and psychological and yes I have over used that words today "
Been there when i was much younger. It was one incident, but it utterly destroyed my confidence for a while. Eventually, i got into a relationship and built it back from there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??
Let me pose you a question....say for instance you've never had a problem having orgasms from clitoral stimulation. Then you get with a guy you are very attracted to and vice versa.
For some reason, when you meet, you aren't 100% comfortable. Not necessarily with him, but just in general. As a result, you can't get your orgasm despite him doing everything right.
Should he take that to heart, despite him not being able to do anything about factors outside of his control?
(just using the above as an example, i know it isn't quite the same thing, but i hope you'll indulge me)"
That is a good point, a lot of men hold weight to whether a woman cums or not in regard to his performance, hence faking I suppose is more common, but it does indeed happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Thank you, I am genuinely interested in it, eg how it does affect a man's mind and I know it can be damaging if not then (at the moment), but latterly. Also seeing so many threads on here re why can't a bloke get etc etc...
I think as said for women it is easier, as for men it is biological and psychological and yes I have over used that words today
Been there when i was much younger. It was one incident, but it utterly destroyed my confidence for a while. Eventually, i got into a relationship and built it back from there."
I think we are on the same wave length |
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??
Let me pose you a question....say for instance you've never had a problem having orgasms from clitoral stimulation. Then you get with a guy you are very attracted to and vice versa.
For some reason, when you meet, you aren't 100% comfortable. Not necessarily with him, but just in general. As a result, you can't get your orgasm despite him doing everything right.
Should he take that to heart, despite him not being able to do anything about factors outside of his control?
(just using the above as an example, i know it isn't quite the same thing, but i hope you'll indulge me)"
Of course not, I have never considered it from that perspective. I always presumed men were more able to block out other factors and be ruled by the current situation.
Thank you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it happened as a one off, I wouldn't regard it as a failure at all.
If it happened repeatedly then I would be wanting a discussion about it.
Use of a word like 'failure' in discussing subjects like this is part of the reason why the problems become deeper and deeper when it can often be something quite simple. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it happened as a one off, I wouldn't regard it as a failure at all.
If it happened repeatedly then I would be wanting a discussion about it.
Use of a word like 'failure' in discussing subjects like this is part of the reason why the problems become deeper and deeper when it can often be something quite simple."
Yes I don't like the word failure, in my OP I said "failure" as one or another party may deem it so, human nature I suppose, not a good word indeed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll admit that its happened to me a coupke of times. Usually if I'm stressed or down about something. It's my own fault because I knew I shouldn't have arranged meets.
It's not happened in a very long time though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??
Let me pose you a question....say for instance you've never had a problem having orgasms from clitoral stimulation. Then you get with a guy you are very attracted to and vice versa.
For some reason, when you meet, you aren't 100% comfortable. Not necessarily with him, but just in general. As a result, you can't get your orgasm despite him doing everything right.
Should he take that to heart, despite him not being able to do anything about factors outside of his control?
(just using the above as an example, i know it isn't quite the same thing, but i hope you'll indulge me)
That is a good point, a lot of men hold weight to whether a woman cums or not in regard to his performance, hence faking I suppose is more common, but it does indeed happen."
Tip: Easier for a guy to fake w2hen he wears a condom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad Julie made this thread.
Ladies, don't take a man's erection problem to heart (unless he specifically tells you it is something you are doing, or lack thereof). We are a bit like taps......the plumbing isn't always 100% right
But surely if the woman is doing everything right and you are attracted then it will all slot into place so to speak??
Let me pose you a question....say for instance you've never had a problem having orgasms from clitoral stimulation. Then you get with a guy you are very attracted to and vice versa.
For some reason, when you meet, you aren't 100% comfortable. Not necessarily with him, but just in general. As a result, you can't get your orgasm despite him doing everything right.
Should he take that to heart, despite him not being able to do anything about factors outside of his control?
(just using the above as an example, i know it isn't quite the same thing, but i hope you'll indulge me)
That is a good point, a lot of men hold weight to whether a woman cums or not in regard to his performance, hence faking I suppose is more common, but it does indeed happen.
Tip: Easier for a guy to fake w2hen he wears a condom "
Is that right? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldnt consider it a failure at all...
Gus are under far more pressure than us women...Would put it down to nerves and just have good night regardless....
I am sure you would, but what I am trying to say in this thread, although it is a biological reaction for guys, when that fails it then becomes psychological, which can be self defeatist and I am sure many guys who may have encountered this issue may be ok at the time and continue etc but possibly go home ego dented and berate themselves. "
I've personally never had a problem when it happens. Either I've given the person I'm with an orgasm or at least a good time which he/she has appreciated.
So people, if you want a quick way to find out what your partner's really like, fake erectile dysfunction and watch their reaction! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would work harder and see if some kinky things turned him on , if all fail would just chat and flirt see if that worked , lolol Maybe do a hand -stand .. Lap-dance ... feed him lovely food .... get my toys out play with my bits in front of him ,lol |
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It should be a blameless situation.
There are times when we all are in the company of someone we have, would, want to but just don't or can't......
If a runner can't run that day no one writes them off or ridicules...
sex is just a part of life .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find erections are never a problem if you have the right meet - if it's purely about the sex then you can feel under pressure to get it up, but if that sex is simply another bonus when you're already enjoying one anothers company, then she's always found my erection ready and waiting from the moment I unzip. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am going to say something strident (but that's nothing new, is it...!):
Ladies - please GROW UP and stop thinking that if a guy either can't get, or loses, an erection that it is because he isn't sexually attracted to you!!! Jeeeez!
It's happened to me (on rare occasion, he hastens to add...) because I found the lady SOOOOO attractive and SOOOO horny, that it all got too much for me and down the old man went!!!! Now that IS a rarity, I have to admit - but it's happened. And it's happened for all the other reasons all the other guys have already mentioned.
It's just another variable you have to contend with if you're going to swing - not everything comes together when you want it to, and it's another reason not to have expectations prior to a meet. Just go with the flow. Have an idea where you'd like it to go, sure, but take some of the pressure out of the equation and the 'let-downs' will lessen... |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
"Some times it happens. I dont see it necessarily as a failure as it could ve through tiredness or stress or other factors.
It happens to me even if I take a tablet sometimes. As long as I can satisfy and please in other ways tgen that makes up for it.
Fucking is all there is to pleasing a woman, even if I dont get stiff or cum but she leaves smiling I consider it a job well done... im not selfish"
2 's up from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some times it happens. I dont see it necessarily as a failure as it could ve through tiredness or stress or other factors.
It happens to me even if I take a tablet sometimes. As long as I can satisfy and please in other ways tgen that makes up for it.
Fucking is all there is to pleasing a woman, even if I dont get stiff or cum but she leaves smiling I consider it a job well done... im not selfish"
hear hear its happened to me before but i was very stressed at the time luckily the woman understood and came bk the week after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah ... Yeah ! Yeah! And MEN stop shoving your fingers so hard up cludgies thinking that any bint will squirt if only she will let herself...
Yeah ! Knock it off ! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The key to successfully masturbating a woman with your fingers, is to imagine that her pussy is your own anus - then you'll find you're naturally a lot less forceful with it |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
If a guy has an issue I am always relaxed and sympathetic about it. Last thing he needs is to get stressed about it.
I have given a guy a second chance before now - though he had the same issue again. He chose not to meet me again.
It did not make me feel like a failure at all. I think he actually had problems. Hope he sorted them out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The key to successfully masturbating a woman with your fingers, is to imagine that her pussy is your own anus - then you'll find you're naturally a lot less forceful with it "
Spread the word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The key to successfully masturbating a woman with your fingers, is to imagine that her pussy is your own anus - then you'll find you're naturally a lot less forceful with it
Spread the word "
Like a beautiful womans legs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The key to successfully masturbating a woman with your fingers, is to imagine that her pussy is your own anus - then you'll find you're naturally a lot less forceful with it
Spread the word
Like a beautiful womans legs."
I'll never get any work done at this rate  |
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