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Being the priority 2!

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield

Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago

I agree.

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By *eliWoman 10 weeks ago

.

I think everyone wants different things on here OP and as long as you're honest about what that is and compatible with who you meet?

That's the most important thing.

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By *affron40Woman 10 weeks ago

manchester

I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing.

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By *restonguy1981Man 10 weeks ago

preston

It was a good thread to read OP.

Fabs offers a multitude of dynamics that can suit so many people in so many ways.

But it was a great discussion that was had too

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing."
you didn’t see my pms lol

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"It was a good thread to read OP.

Fabs offers a multitude of dynamics that can suit so many people in so many ways.

But it was a great discussion that was had too "

yes pal wasn’t made to anger anyone In any way was just curious how others felt glad you enjoyed reading I know I have

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple 10 weeks ago

Manchester-ish


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing."

Yes, this. Not sure it needed a second thread but hey ho.

J

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By *affron40Woman 10 weeks ago

manchester


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing. you didn’t see my pms lol"

That’s not on!! Report if they were abusive.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I agree. "
glad you feel the same way

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing.

Yes, this. Not sure it needed a second thread but hey ho.

J"

the thread got too big was made in case anyone had anything else they would like to say that’s all

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By *ell GwynnWoman 10 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing. you didn’t see my pms lol

That’s not on!! Report if they were abusive."

it’s ok people just have there own opinion and feel strongly I guess x

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there."

that’s the main take away I feel never be a option

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By *asterMeliodasMan 10 weeks ago

Near Keith


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there."

This is how I feel about it as well.

If I'm literally out seeing someone, I'm not exactly gonna be on my phone arranging a meet with someone else at the same time.

But outside of that, I wouldn't expect anyone to drop anything just to talk to me. It should be a given that they're potentially going to be talking to and arranging things with other people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman 10 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve never been the norm on here nor have I ever cared. Plenty people aren’t swingers. I never will be but I’ve always found what I wanted here. There’s space for those who want to speak to or shag 10 people a day and for those that just want one. There’s no right or wrong and there’s no “people who shouldn’t be here because it’s a swingers site” either.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there.

This is how I feel about it as well.

If I'm literally out seeing someone, I'm not exactly gonna be on my phone arranging a meet with someone else at the same time.

But outside of that, I wouldn't expect anyone to drop anything just to talk to me. It should be a given that they're potentially going to be talking to and arranging things with other people."

some people are making it out to be some sort of creepy stalker think I don’t expect someone to just speak to me and only me but when we are in the build up near to the meet I expect the same amount of effort as I put in which is when I am on fab you are my priority no one else

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By *asterMeliodasMan 10 weeks ago

Near Keith


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there.

This is how I feel about it as well.

If I'm literally out seeing someone, I'm not exactly gonna be on my phone arranging a meet with someone else at the same time.

But outside of that, I wouldn't expect anyone to drop anything just to talk to me. It should be a given that they're potentially going to be talking to and arranging things with other people. some people are making it out to be some sort of creepy stalker think I don’t expect someone to just speak to me and only me but when we are in the build up near to the meet I expect the same amount of effort as I put in which is when I am on fab you are my priority no one else "

You seem to be taking generalised replies as if they're directed at you personally, but I assure you they're not. :P I meant that as a general point, not implying that you were doing that sort of thing.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I’ve never been the norm on here nor have I ever cared. Plenty people aren’t swingers. I never will be but I’ve always found what I wanted here. There’s space for those who want to speak to or shag 10 people a day and for those that just want one. There’s no right or wrong and there’s no “people who shouldn’t be here because it’s a swingers site” either. "
exactly Nora had loads of people say I don’t know about swinging like it’s a one size fits all thing x

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By *asterMeliodasMan 10 weeks ago

Near Keith


"I’ve never been the norm on here nor have I ever cared. Plenty people aren’t swingers. I never will be but I’ve always found what I wanted here. There’s space for those who want to speak to or shag 10 people a day and for those that just want one. There’s no right or wrong and there’s no “people who shouldn’t be here because it’s a swingers site” either. "

I totally agree with you that there's room here for anyone who wants to be here; gatekeeping is ridiculous.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there.

This is how I feel about it as well.

If I'm literally out seeing someone, I'm not exactly gonna be on my phone arranging a meet with someone else at the same time.

But outside of that, I wouldn't expect anyone to drop anything just to talk to me. It should be a given that they're potentially going to be talking to and arranging things with other people. some people are making it out to be some sort of creepy stalker think I don’t expect someone to just speak to me and only me but when we are in the build up near to the meet I expect the same amount of effort as I put in which is when I am on fab you are my priority no one else

You seem to be taking generalised replies as if they're directed at you personally, but I assure you they're not. :P I meant that as a general point, not implying that you were doing that sort of thing."

don’t worry pal I wasn’t implying you said that I was saying that’s what some people have been saying and I just like replying to everyone’s comments pal

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By *imply DeeWoman 10 weeks ago

Wherever


"I don’t think people were triggered. That’s very dismissive. Other people simply said they do things differently, which means you wouldn’t be compatible with them anyway. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about finding people who want the same thing.

Yes, this. Not sure it needed a second thread but hey ho.

J"

I agree.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 10 weeks ago

Carlisle usually


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there. that’s the main take away I feel never be a option "

Don't be a plan B is different to don't be an option I think.

I'm very with Nell.

I like people to have other options. I like to know that they have chosen to spend time with me, even though they have other options, rather than because they don't have any other options and might as well.

But, calling me just because your first choice for the evening fell through? That's a no from me.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there. that’s the main take away I feel never be a option

Don't be a plan B is different to don't be an option I think.

I'm very with Nell.

I like people to have other options. I like to know that they have chosen to spend time with me, even though they have other options, rather than because they don't have any other options and might as well.

But, calling me just because your first choice for the evening fell through? That's a no from me."

I see your point I wasn’t trying to beef with you on the last one lol, and for me I like to visually see that the person I am meeting is putting in the same amount of effort as me for that reason to make sure they aren’t just telling me what I want to hear just waiting for something they deem better to come to them to just shut it down so I am quite clear whenever I am talking to people that they are my priority till we have eventually meet then after that if it was a good meet take it from there if not obviously go out separate ways

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman 10 weeks ago

Wales


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?"

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. "

if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

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By *heBigLibowskiMan 10 weeks ago

Hampshire

Didn't read the thread, but if you mean priotising over other 'meets' then yes, of course.

I may an amazing cut of meat, but I'm more than that.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Didn't read the thread, but if you mean priotising over other 'meets' then yes, of course.

I may an amazing cut of meat, but I'm more than that."

yes of course pal

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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

Missed the first thread as been working all day.

I have a partner. They'll always be my priority. But that doesn't stop me chatting to or meeting others at all, nor does it them.

The joy of ENM relationships is that you can enjoy the time and company of others as and when you please.

I have several local friends that I meet. None are more important than eachother. I don't need to prioritise people because it's a mutually beneficial situation. We all enjoy eachothers company, but understand that we all have life commitments such as work, children, pets etc. and aren't always going to be free at the same time. Likewise I wouldn't expect anyone to change plans or drop anything just because I was free.

Just because a meet is planned it doesn't stop me or them chatting to others, making future plans with someone else or even meeting someone else in the meantime. There's no ownership. No right to decide that I should be their focus at any given time.

Expecting someone to solely focus on you as soon as a potential face to face meet is on the cards seems a bit demanding to me, but hey - everyone is different.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Missed the first thread as been working all day.

I have a partner. They'll always be my priority. But that doesn't stop me chatting to or meeting others at all, nor does it them.

The joy of ENM relationships is that you can enjoy the time and company of others as and when you please.

I have several local friends that I meet. None are more important than eachother. I don't need to prioritise people because it's a mutually beneficial situation. We all enjoy eachothers company, but understand that we all have life commitments such as work, children, pets etc. and aren't always going to be free at the same time. Likewise I wouldn't expect anyone to change plans or drop anything just because I was free.

Just because a meet is planned it doesn't stop me or them chatting to others, making future plans with someone else or even meeting someone else in the meantime. There's no ownership. No right to decide that I should be their focus at any given time.

Expecting someone to solely focus on you as soon as a potential face to face meet is on the cards seems a bit demanding to me, but hey - everyone is different. "

that’s the great thing about the site if you don’t like it you don’t have to chat

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman 10 weeks ago

your head

Fab as a whole to me is not a priority but if I'm chatting to someone and we have a date planned or are planning one, then yes, I'll stay in touch. I will check in on the run up and generally confirm the day before to make sure all is still good but I don't message every day. I can be online and not reply to messages, just because I'm online doesn't mean I want to chat. If I want to chat to more than one person at a time, then I do but if I'm face to face with someone then they have my undivided attention.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman 10 weeks ago

Wales


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird "

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

"

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

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By *aizyWoman 10 weeks ago

west midlands


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there."

100% this

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By *heBigLibowskiMan 10 weeks ago

Hampshire


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me "

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

"

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

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By *heBigLibowskiMan 10 weeks ago

Hampshire


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest "

You might not, others may.

I read WhatsApp messages all the time but don't reply for hours as I'm busy doing something else.

Maybe you are taking things a bit too personally?

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By *heBigLibowskiMan 10 weeks ago

Hampshire


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

You might not, others may.

I read WhatsApp messages all the time but don't reply for hours as I'm busy doing something else.

Maybe you are taking things a bit too personally?"

I'd put messages on Fab a few tiers below a WhatsApp message too.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

You might not, others may.

I read WhatsApp messages all the time but don't reply for hours as I'm busy doing something else.

Maybe you are taking things a bit too personally?"

haha mate I don’t take anything personal from someone online who I will never meet but what is the logic in what your saying so people will sit on fab reading messages but not have time to reply to them?makes no sense pal

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman 10 weeks ago

your head


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest "

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself.

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By *heBigLibowskiMan 10 weeks ago

Hampshire


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

You might not, others may.

I read WhatsApp messages all the time but don't reply for hours as I'm busy doing something else.

Maybe you are taking things a bit too personally?haha mate I don’t take anything personal from someone online who I will never meet but what is the logic in what your saying so people will sit on fab reading messages but not have time to reply to them?makes no sense pal"

I'd encourage you to look at it another way.

Other than that I can't really help anymore on the matter.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. "

you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman 10 weeks ago

Wales


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me "

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!"

don’t lie you don’t have 10 people messaging you get some verification s then come back

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman 10 weeks ago

your head


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is "

I could but I won't. It's taken me a week to call my mum. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, not everyone wants to chat all the time, not everyone has the heads pace to chat all time. The great thing about people is that we are all different. It's not a red flag that people don't do things the way you expect them to it just means you aren't compatible.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is

I could but I won't. It's taken me a week to call my mum. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, not everyone wants to chat all the time, not everyone has the heads pace to chat all time. The great thing about people is that we are all different. It's not a red flag that people don't do things the way you expect them to it just means you aren't compatible. "

when I say red flag that exactly what I mean we won’t be compatible and everyone is different I guess if I’m sat scrolling on fab opening messages then I will reply to then at the point of opening that’s just me

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman 10 weeks ago

Wales


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!don’t lie you don’t have 10 people messaging you get some verification s then come back "

Lol, OK x

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By *ealMissShadyWoman 10 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me "

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

"

well getting abuse for not getting a reply of someone is just wrong should be doing that and I’m not saying you don’t have the right to do that I just don’t like it I wouldn’t do it so I expect exactly the same back that’s just me

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield

[Removed by poster at 22/07/24 22:58:54]

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

well getting abuse for not getting a reply of someone is just wrong should be doing that and I’m not saying you don’t have the right to do that I just don’t like it I wouldn’t do it so I expect exactly the same back that’s just me "

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

"

shouldn’t be doing that

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By *ealMissShadyWoman 10 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

shouldn’t be doing that"

Who shouldn't be doing what?

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

Why do you see that as a red flag? What do you think is going on?

Sometimes I can take a day or more to respond. My lack of attention span and neurodivergence means I get distracted...no bearing on the person at all, but some don't understand that

I was talking to a guy who felt I wasn't responding to his messages as often as he liked... He ended up being abusive, glad I never met him and it ended in me blocking. Now the second anyone else raises the issue it's a block. Not being subjected to that again

shouldn’t be doing that

Who shouldn't be doing what?"

the person who was being abusive to you for not replying

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By *arlot o scaraWoman 10 weeks ago

Hell


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!don’t lie you don’t have 10 people messaging you get some verification s then come back "

I joined fab with obviously nothing on my profile and had hundreds of messages within minutes before I had put any info or pictures on my profile. No verifications doesn’t mean nothing is going on. I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t verify for plenty of reasons.

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By *ittlebirdWoman 10 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Everyone will do Fab differently OP… you included. If something is a red flag for you just move on. Find someone else to chat to.

For me personally, when I was meeting people I would happily chat to lots of people at once and arrange what I wanted when I wanted. Fab is not my priority now and it wasn’t then. But when I met someone they had my undivided attention for the time we spent together. I offered nothing more or less. Worked for me just peachy

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!don’t lie you don’t have 10 people messaging you get some verification s then come back

I joined fab with obviously nothing on my profile and had hundreds of messages within minutes before I had put any info or pictures on my profile. No verifications doesn’t mean nothing is going on. I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t verify for plenty of reasons. "

ye non of the reasons can be good tho?

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Everyone will do Fab differently OP… you included. If something is a red flag for you just move on. Find someone else to chat to.

For me personally, when I was meeting people I would happily chat to lots of people at once and arrange what I wanted when I wanted. Fab is not my priority now and it wasn’t then. But when I met someone they had my undivided attention for the time we spent together. I offered nothing more or less. Worked for me just peachy "

absolutely great thing about the site is everyone can find what there looking for

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By *ittlebirdWoman 10 weeks ago

The Big Smoke


"

I joined fab with obviously nothing on my profile and had hundreds of messages within minutes before I had put any info or pictures on my profile. No verifications doesn’t mean nothing is going on. I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t verify for plenty of reasons. ye non of the reasons can be good tho?"

Whatever anyone’s reasons are OP really are none of anyone else’s business… including yours

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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is

I could but I won't. It's taken me a week to call my mum. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, not everyone wants to chat all the time, not everyone has the heads pace to chat all time. The great thing about people is that we are all different. It's not a red flag that people don't do things the way you expect them to it just means you aren't compatible. when I say red flag that exactly what I mean we won’t be compatible and everyone is different I guess if I’m sat scrolling on fab opening messages then I will reply to then at the point of opening that’s just me "

I would imagine that you have far less messages to open and potentially reply to than most women on here though.

Even with close friends I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone read a message I'd sent them in the morning and they'd not replied til that night, the next day or even later that week.

I wouldn't assume I meant any less to them. I'd just think they were busy.

My partner and I frequently go hours between sending and replying to messages because we have busy lives. I might read a message from them to see what it is, but unless urgent I wouldn't feel the need to instantly respond. Same goes for family. And friends. And yes - especially Fab contacts.

Patience isn't just a card game.

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By *arlot o scaraWoman 10 weeks ago

Hell


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

You wrote something about not responding in a timely manner. Or not being the first to message the next day...

When a guy is tracking my responses its a mood killer for me, makes me feel he's not going to be easy to relax around. if your on fab you can clearly see if someone has replied or not it’s not like I sit there and wait your trying to make it sound creepy and weird

I'm not trying to make it sound anything.

You did write those things.

When someone is notably observing response times it puts me on edge.

I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

You seem argumentative and I haven't got time for that... I need to reply to 10 messages within 40 mins and get to sleep by 11!don’t lie you don’t have 10 people messaging you get some verification s then come back

I joined fab with obviously nothing on my profile and had hundreds of messages within minutes before I had put any info or pictures on my profile. No verifications doesn’t mean nothing is going on. I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t verify for plenty of reasons. ye non of the reasons can be good tho?"

Not necessarily. Verifications aren’t everything

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"

I joined fab with obviously nothing on my profile and had hundreds of messages within minutes before I had put any info or pictures on my profile. No verifications doesn’t mean nothing is going on. I’ve met plenty of people I didn’t verify for plenty of reasons. ye non of the reasons can be good tho?

Whatever anyone’s reasons are OP really are none of anyone else’s business… including yours "

yes your right

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By *ustful_LionessWoman 10 weeks ago

Heaven-sent


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there."

I’m totally with you on that Nell, I treat people how I’d like to be treated, I know what Fab is but I refuse to be the backup plan to anyone online or in real life, when we’re together then you are with me, if you want me then you make time for me when your life priorities are dealt with but the moment you treat me like plan B to others I’m gone and I won’t be returning.. I know my own worth & those men who treat me in that manner are not worthy of my precious time and energy.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is

I could but I won't. It's taken me a week to call my mum. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, not everyone wants to chat all the time, not everyone has the heads pace to chat all time. The great thing about people is that we are all different. It's not a red flag that people don't do things the way you expect them to it just means you aren't compatible. when I say red flag that exactly what I mean we won’t be compatible and everyone is different I guess if I’m sat scrolling on fab opening messages then I will reply to then at the point of opening that’s just me

I would imagine that you have far less messages to open and potentially reply to than most women on here though.

Even with close friends I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone read a message I'd sent them in the morning and they'd not replied til that night, the next day or even later that week.

I wouldn't assume I meant any less to them. I'd just think they were busy.

My partner and I frequently go hours between sending and replying to messages because we have busy lives. I might read a message from them to see what it is, but unless urgent I wouldn't feel the need to instantly respond. Same goes for family. And friends. And yes - especially Fab contacts.

Patience isn't just a card game. "

absolutely that’s because the site is predominantly single men and as for messaging friends and family that is totally different to people on fab or even dating there was been periods of time like you said where I have opened a mate’s message and haven’t replied for weeks visa versa I have sent messages they haven’t replied to I have never thought we arnt mates anymore but your trying to tell me if that happened on fab you wouldn’t be expecting the connection to be dead come on ?

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I didn't read the last thread, so I'm probably repeating what's already been said, but surely being a "priority" or "one of many" aren't the only options.

I'm content with a happy medium. Prioritise me when we're together, be interested and enthusiastic about making plans, talk to other people and enjoy their company if that's what you want, but if I feel like I'm a plan B I'm outta there.

I’m totally with you on that Nell, I treat people how I’d like to be treated, I know what Fab is but I refuse to be the backup plan to anyone online or in real life, when we’re together then you are with me, if you want me then you make time for me when your life priorities are dealt with but the moment you treat me like plan B to others I’m gone and I won’t be returning.. I know my own worth & those men who treat me in that manner are not worthy of my precious time and energy.

"

absolutely

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By *rispyDuckMan 10 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

When planning a meet you have my full attention and I hope for the same. I can’t stand poor communication (can’t hold conversation & replying days later . If I get hint I’m just a plan z I’m out . I have options too & got too much self respect to put effort and it not be reciprocated

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By *Silver-Man 10 weeks ago

Mold

I only prioratise when I am with a date or dates.

As for on here I don't prioratise, yes I have friends on here, none are in an order of priority. When I chat to some one new I may be more enthusiastic but I don't prioratise them.

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By *ex HolesMan 10 weeks ago

Up North

Part 3 should be a good’un

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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I never said I observe people’s responses times tho did I what I said was if someone I am chatting to opens a message I sent and doesn’t respond for like a hour that is a red flag for me

To be fair, an hour isn't long at all!

Could be in the middle of something - working, socialising, grocery shopping... I think it's reasonable to expect to be underneath their immediate life needs.

if you open a message on fab pal you have nothing else better to do let’s be honest

Some people do. I can open a message on here because my day has hit a lull and then stuff happens and I need to get back to real life, at that point I'm not replying. The fact you think not replying for an hour after it's been read is a red flag is a red flag in itself. you could sent a 2 second message saying I’m busy speak later that’s how easy it is

I could but I won't. It's taken me a week to call my mum. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, not everyone wants to chat all the time, not everyone has the heads pace to chat all time. The great thing about people is that we are all different. It's not a red flag that people don't do things the way you expect them to it just means you aren't compatible. when I say red flag that exactly what I mean we won’t be compatible and everyone is different I guess if I’m sat scrolling on fab opening messages then I will reply to then at the point of opening that’s just me

I would imagine that you have far less messages to open and potentially reply to than most women on here though.

Even with close friends I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone read a message I'd sent them in the morning and they'd not replied til that night, the next day or even later that week.

I wouldn't assume I meant any less to them. I'd just think they were busy.

My partner and I frequently go hours between sending and replying to messages because we have busy lives. I might read a message from them to see what it is, but unless urgent I wouldn't feel the need to instantly respond. Same goes for family. And friends. And yes - especially Fab contacts.

Patience isn't just a card game. absolutely that’s because the site is predominantly single men and as for messaging friends and family that is totally different to people on fab or even dating there was been periods of time like you said where I have opened a mate’s message and haven’t replied for weeks visa versa I have sent messages they haven’t replied to I have never thought we arnt mates anymore but your trying to tell me if that happened on fab you wouldn’t be expecting the connection to be dead come on ?"

Nope. I wouldn't expect anything at all.

As I and others have said. People have lives. Nobody owes anyone any kind of commitment to respond promptly.

It's happened many times to me on Fab and it doesn't worry me at all. The majority of people I've encountered value patience over any sense of urgency. I'd rather someone waited until they had time to compose a decent response than just a rushed one line reply.

But then I've met people after chatting infrequently for months. And I've cut people dead who push for replies and show any sense of entitlement or need for constant attention and immediate responses.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman 10 weeks ago

Wirral.

Haven't read the other thread, but this one has been an eye opener!

I, too, would be a little bit pissed off if someone had been on line for ages & not responded to me. The same as I would be in real life, if they don't answer my WhatsApp. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that folk accept friends would take days to reply. Clearly, i have no life, as i like to reply pretty sharpish. If im busy with something else/work, I'll drop a "I'll get back as quick as i can" message. Its courteous. No one is that busy that they can't drop a quick message!

Same goes if a guy im chatting to on here with a view to meeting took days to reply, Id assume he wasnt that fussed about meeting me, so I'd move on.

I guess I'm like you, OP. I need to be a priority, as he would be for me. Doesn't mean I want to marry him!

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"When planning a meet you have my full attention and I hope for the same. I can’t stand poor communication (can’t hold conversation & replying days later . If I get hint I’m just a plan z I’m out . I have options too & got too much self respect to put effort and it not be reciprocated "
absolutely pal same here 100%

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Part 3 should be a good’un "
maybe lol

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Haven't read the other thread, but this one has been an eye opener!

I, too, would be a little bit pissed off if someone had been on line for ages & not responded to me. The same as I would be in real life, if they don't answer my WhatsApp. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that folk accept friends would take days to reply. Clearly, i have no life, as i like to reply pretty sharpish. If im busy with something else/work, I'll drop a "I'll get back as quick as i can" message. Its courteous. No one is that busy that they can't drop a quick message!

Same goes if a guy im chatting to on here with a view to meeting took days to reply, Id assume he wasnt that fussed about meeting me, so I'd move on.

I guess I'm like you, OP. I need to be a priority, as he would be for me. Doesn't mean I want to marry him!

"

exactly this I think a lot of people make out they have more on then they actually do if I’m on fab and I open your message and I’m interested I’m bloody replying to it there and then

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By *8on33Man 10 weeks ago

winfrith


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?"

You can have that in a relationship I've met couples because some guy let them down so definitely not first choice and one in particular was a real eye opener.

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By *viatrixWoman 10 weeks ago

Redhill

I’ll never be a plan B or flavour of the week.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I’ll never be a plan B or flavour of the week. "
absolutely

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS 10 weeks ago

chichester

I expect to be the primus.

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By *oxy jWoman 10 weeks ago

somerset


"Everyone will do Fab differently OP… you included. If something is a red flag for you just move on. Find someone else to chat to.

For me personally, when I was meeting people I would happily chat to lots of people at once and arrange what I wanted when I wanted. Fab is not my priority now and it wasn’t then. But when I met someone they had my undivided attention for the time we spent together. I offered nothing more or less. Worked for me just peachy absolutely great thing about the site is everyone can find what there looking for "

except they cant can they .. simple maths will prove most men cant and wont get anywhere as the scene gats more and more one sided by massive margins

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Everyone will do Fab differently OP… you included. If something is a red flag for you just move on. Find someone else to chat to.

For me personally, when I was meeting people I would happily chat to lots of people at once and arrange what I wanted when I wanted. Fab is not my priority now and it wasn’t then. But when I met someone they had my undivided attention for the time we spent together. I offered nothing more or less. Worked for me just peachy absolutely great thing about the site is everyone can find what there looking for

except they cant can they .. simple maths will prove most men cant and wont get anywhere as the scene gats more and more one sided by massive margins"

it is very one sided I have to admit

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By *erfHerder74Man 10 weeks ago

Greenock

I think it takes a wee while before you can become someone priority.

In the meantime just keep messaging, chatting, talking, complimenting them.

If they have others who are priority like wife’s, kids, husband they will notice you more.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple 10 weeks ago

Newcastle

Sometimes I don’t reply to people straight away as I don’t want to appear too keen. It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to give them my attention.

Kx

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Sometimes I don’t reply to people straight away as I don’t want to appear too keen. It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to give them my attention.

Kx"

ye that’s what I mean it’s a mine field really if your too keen it’s a turn of if your not keen enough it’s a turn off I personally love someone who is keen why wouldn’t you ?x

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple 10 weeks ago

Newcastle


"Sometimes I don’t reply to people straight away as I don’t want to appear too keen. It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to give them my attention.

Kx ye that’s what I mean it’s a mine field really if your too keen it’s a turn of if your not keen enough it’s a turn off I personally love someone who is keen why wouldn’t you ?x"

I think that’s a whole other thread it definitely puts a lot of people off. For me I find the conversation really important though. It’s how I can tell if there is any connection. It’s about finding the right balance though.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Sometimes I don’t reply to people straight away as I don’t want to appear too keen. It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to give them my attention.

Kx ye that’s what I mean it’s a mine field really if your too keen it’s a turn of if your not keen enough it’s a turn off I personally love someone who is keen why wouldn’t you ?x

I think that’s a whole other thread it definitely puts a lot of people off. For me I find the conversation really important though. It’s how I can tell if there is any connection. It’s about finding the right balance though. "

absolutely

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By *ustful_LionessWoman 10 weeks ago

Heaven-sent


"Haven't read the other thread, but this one has been an eye opener!

I, too, would be a little bit pissed off if someone had been on line for ages & not responded to me. The same as I would be in real life, if they don't answer my WhatsApp. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that folk accept friends would take days to reply. Clearly, i have no life, as i like to reply pretty sharpish. If im busy with something else/work, I'll drop a "I'll get back as quick as i can" message. Its courteous. No one is that busy that they can't drop a quick message!

Same goes if a guy im chatting to on here with a view to meeting took days to reply, Id assume he wasnt that fussed about meeting me, so I'd move on.

I guess I'm like you, OP. I need to be a priority, as he would be for me. Doesn't mean I want to marry him!

"

Wholeheartedly agree!!

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By *rHotNottsMan 10 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I missed the post but would rather not be anyones priority. I’d like your full attention when we’re together though, something not everyone is capable of.

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By *ansoffateMan 10 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Level of involvement is a topic rarely tackled directly and explicitly - I appreciate it when it is.

It varies with relationships, for me. As long at it feels right for both I'm usually happy.

I don't think it's wrong to want to be a priority, but if it's not what the other person wants and you won't compromise then ships sailing into rocky waters.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Level of involvement is a topic rarely tackled directly and explicitly - I appreciate it when it is.

It varies with relationships, for me. As long at it feels right for both I'm usually happy.

I don't think it's wrong to want to be a priority, but if it's not what the other person wants and you won't compromise then ships sailing into rocky waters."

absolutely pal gotta be mutual

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By * and R cple4Couple 10 weeks ago

swansea

I read the last post and for some reason you seemed quite argumentative and dismissive of other people's opinions.

Everyone is different and is on here for different reasons and that's totally fine.

We are on here to chat to multiple people and to meet multiple people, noone other than my husband is my priority.

If someone thought that because I didn't get back to them within an hour then it's a red flag then they are definitely not the kind of people we would want to meet.

Sometimes I will read a message and forget to put it on unread for when my husband has time to have a look stuff happens.

Meeting people with a similar outlook and mindset on here is half the battle.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I read the last post and for some reason you seemed quite argumentative and dismissive of other people's opinions.

Everyone is different and is on here for different reasons and that's totally fine.

We are on here to chat to multiple people and to meet multiple people, noone other than my husband is my priority.

If someone thought that because I didn't get back to them within an hour then it's a red flag then they are definitely not the kind of people we would want to meet.

Sometimes I will read a message and forget to put it on unread for when my husband has time to have a look stuff happens.

Meeting people with a similar outlook and mindset on here is half the battle.

"

that’s totally fine everyone has there own personal preference on what they want on here

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By *asterMeliodasMan 10 weeks ago

Near Keith


"I read the last post and for some reason you seemed quite argumentative and dismissive of other people's opinions.

Everyone is different and is on here for different reasons and that's totally fine.

We are on here to chat to multiple people and to meet multiple people, noone other than my husband is my priority.

If someone thought that because I didn't get back to them within an hour then it's a red flag then they are definitely not the kind of people we would want to meet.

Sometimes I will read a message and forget to put it on unread for when my husband has time to have a look stuff happens.

Meeting people with a similar outlook and mindset on here is half the battle.

"

That's actually a really good point that OP should keep in mind: that it's entirely possible they've read your message but marked it as unread again for some reason before you check.

The best thing really is to delete a message from your sent folder after sending it, so you don't know what the status of it is.

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By *midnight-Woman 10 weeks ago

...

I guess it depends how committed you are... I always treat people how i would like to be treated

For anyone that i am just casually chatting with, i wouldn't prioritise that chat over other things happening in my life.

If we were arranging to meet, i would expect and give a level of responsive communication (or an understanding of why that might not be possible)

If we've met or we are 'friends', you deserve my timely attention /responsiveness and vice-versa.

If we are committed or in a 'fab' relationship, then I'd expect communication to be thoughtful, responsive + timely.... I'd also expect to have priority over other people in your diary /space in your life.

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"I guess it depends how committed you are... I always treat people how i would like to be treated

For anyone that i am just casually chatting with, i wouldn't prioritise that chat over other things happening in my life.

If we were arranging to meet, i would expect and give a level of responsive communication (or an understanding of why that might not be possible)

If we've met or we are 'friends', you deserve my timely attention /responsiveness and vice-versa.

If we are committed or in a 'fab' relationship, then I'd expect communication to be thoughtful, responsive + timely.... I'd also expect to have priority over other people in your diary /space in your life.

"

ye that’s a great take on it midnight the key point is to put into it what you get back x

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By *ed VoluptaWoman 10 weeks ago

Wirral.


"I guess it depends how committed you are... I always treat people how i would like to be treated

For anyone that i am just casually chatting with, i wouldn't prioritise that chat over other things happening in my life.

If we were arranging to meet, i would expect and give a level of responsive communication (or an understanding of why that might not be possible)

If we've met or we are 'friends', you deserve my timely attention /responsiveness and vice-versa.

If we are committed or in a 'fab' relationship, then I'd expect communication to be thoughtful, responsive + timely.... I'd also expect to have priority over other people in your diary /space in your life.

ye that’s a great take on it midnight the key point is to put into it what you get back x "

Yup. Totally agree.

I'd also add that, as I'm not looking for couples, I don't have the added delay of waiting for their other half to read my message.

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By *idnight_Express69Man 10 weeks ago

Rochdale

[Removed by poster at 23/07/24 16:51:11]

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By *orethancurves99Woman 10 weeks ago

Teesside


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?"

I absolutely agree with you - I’m same

Each to their own on here tho. Everyone has their own ways of doing things.

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By *parkle1974Woman 10 weeks ago

Leeds

If I am in someone's company then I make them a priority, they have my undivided attention....though some can't say the same x

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"Wow was shocked how many people was triggered by me saying I like to be a priority to the people I meet rather then a option crazy world we live in

Let me know what you think?

I absolutely agree with you - I’m same

Each to their own on here tho. Everyone has their own ways of doing things. "

ye they do and that’s totally fine but I agree with your opinion

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By *heff123Cool OP   Man 10 weeks ago

sheffield


"If I am in someone's company then I make them a priority, they have my undivided attention....though some can't say the same x"
absolutely

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