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Being made the priority!
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"Nope, we're an open book and only loyal to each other. " that’s fair enough I get that when your in a committed relationship  | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring." I get that I look forward quality tho I want people to put the same amount of effort in as I do | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting." Always a priority for me. I do not think I would handle multiples; I don’t want multiples either. Just one high value person individual is good for me.. .. unless they come as part of a pair!?!?   
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting. Always a priority for me. I do not think I would handle multiples; I don’t want multiples either. Just one high value person individual is good for me.. .. unless they come as part of a pair!?!?
Ho hum…. "I’m in the same boat as you I know it’s not a dating site but I still like to make someone the priority | |||
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"No, there’s people here that I converse with that I won’t be meeting. I’m not gonna sacrifice time for them, and give it to the one I might be doing sex with. " absolutely | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring. I get that I look forward quality tho I want people to put the same amount of effort in as I do "It quickly becomes apparent though who you’d want to prioritise when you see they match your efforts. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. " I don’t think you can you can’t priorities someone if you are talking to multiple people and plans can collide because of other commitments | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting. Always a priority for me. I do not think I would handle multiples; I don’t want multiples either. Just one high value person individual is good for me.. .. unless they come as part of a pair!?!?
Ho hum…. I’m in the same boat as you I know it’s not a dating site but I still like to make someone the priority "We prioritise people during the time we spend with them. Outside of that it would be disingenuous of us to imply that they're a priority and we don't kid ourselves that they prioritise us. Don't make yourself vulnerable | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. " Personally between career, trustee work, chairmanship and home life (married&kids) i personally do not want too many drains on my focus or energy’s, so i prioritise. If responding… that means you’re my priority. | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring. I get that I look forward quality tho I want people to put the same amount of effort in as I do
It quickly becomes apparent though who you’d want to prioritise when you see they match your efforts.
"yea that’s what I mean once I know I want to meet with someone I will prioritise them from that point | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Personally between career, trustee work, chairmanship and home life (married&kids) i personally do not want too many drains on my focus or energy’s, so i prioritise. If responding… that means you’re my priority. " 1000% this you can’t prioritise multiple people | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. " Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. | |||
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"If you’ve got my number or telegram, you have priority over people I chat to over Fab" absolutely once I give my number your my priority | |||
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"If I don’t feel like I’m priority I’m gone. I don’t want to be part of a choice. If I am, always choose the other one. " Nora you hit the nail on the head, I’m the same if I’m not your priority then I’m gone end off | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. " if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is" Isn't it enough to be a person's priority in the moment? How far do you want someone to put you first? | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Personally between career, trustee work, chairmanship and home life (married&kids) i personally do not want too many drains on my focus or energy’s, so i prioritise. If responding… that means you’re my priority. " I get the busy life at home and professionally. I live a very busy life too. However, I strongly live by the view that we are all busy. Too busy to go to the gym, too busy to put away the washing that’s sat for three days after being folded, too busy to do the honey do list that’s miles long, too busy to send that email, but in the too busy of life, we can all make time for what we choose to make time for. I’ve never been to busy, even after a 20 hour flight, to connect with someone because I've chosen to make them a priority. Similarly, there are those than can not stretch themselves across multiple people, and others that can. There’s no right or wrong way, do what suits you. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is" Are you talking about dating here or strictly swinging? | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Isn't it enough to be a person's priority in the moment? How far do you want someone to put you first?" its all personal preference but if I’m willing to offer my time sometimes money and body to another person I expect them to make me there priority | |||
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"If I don’t feel like I’m priority I’m gone. I don’t want to be part of a choice. If I am, always choose the other one. " That reads like you want to be the proirity for them, but you also want choice yourself? Have I read that right? | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is" Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? | |||
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"If I don’t feel like I’m priority I’m gone. I don’t want to be part of a choice. If I am, always choose the other one. That reads like you want to be the proirity for them, but you also want choice yourself? Have I read that right? " No | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting." I used to meet a fair bit and to be honest there wasn't much overlap in messages. Those interested in meeting make it fairly clear, those wanting to get to know you or just wanting a chat do just that, but if it got within a few days of a meet they'd have my number so there wouldn't be much chat on here. People do try to multi task though which I think is reason why you sometimes get one word replies that don't answer what you might have sent. Granted they might not like you, but it deads any conv for me. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Are you talking about dating here or strictly swinging? " both they are both very intimate,in swinging you can share almost everything sexually experience you will if you was dating someone | |||
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I don’t have the attention span or the patience to keep up with loads of people | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting." If I'm taking time out of my day to message then you are interesting to me. I guess that makes you a priority? | |||
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"We chat to others - but we make everyone a priority who makes time for us. If someone messages who we chat to, we respond in a timely manner. We don’t mind people chatting to others as long as they make time for us and focus their attention on us leading up to meeting as we do for them. If we felt like a number we’d just withdraw. K " absolutely has to be equal effort | |||
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"If I don’t feel like I’m priority I’m gone. I don’t want to be part of a choice. If I am, always choose the other one. That reads like you want to be the proirity for them, but you also want choice yourself? Have I read that right? No" | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting. If I'm taking time out of my day to message then you are interesting to me. I guess that makes you a priority?" absolutely it does | |||
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"It may not be a dating site, but I have dated people from fab
I don’t have the attention span or the patience to keep up with loads of people "absolutely | |||
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"When you guys are talking to someone on fab and are thinking of meeting do you still talk to others or do you make them the priority or not ? Personally I like to prioritise the person/people I’m meeting. I used to meet a fair bit and to be honest there wasn't much overlap in messages. Those interested in meeting make it fairly clear, those wanting to get to know you or just wanting a chat do just that, but if it got within a few days of a meet they'd have my number so there wouldn't be much chat on here. People do try to multi task though which I think is reason why you sometimes get one word replies that don't answer what you might have sent. Granted they might not like you, but it deads any conv for me." mate I’m the same | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring." This | |||
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"If he's giving me time, I'll give him time. I won't be his priority until he needs a fuck, so I'll chat to other people while he's distracted by something else. Been in this game a long time and I know I'm nothing but sex." Absolutely this. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? " there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs | |||
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"If I'm chatting via telegram/WhatsApp/calls then you are a priority to me " absolutely I’m the same | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs " You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? | |||
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"I've never had a no show but I've been a Plan B a couple of times. One woman used to complain on the forums about being stood up all the time. I arranged to meet her and texted to confirm the night before. She claimed to have no memory of ever agreeing to meet me and she couldn't possibly have done as she had a number of vanilla issues to deal with. The next day she had a shiny new verification from a popular forum couple. Another woman told me on the day that she was running late due to work issues and if I hadn't heard from her by the time I was leaving work she wouldn't be able to make it. Heard nothing until I was half way home and she messaged to say she was just finishing and it was too late to meet. The next day she posted 2 new verifications. One from a lunchtime meet the day before and one which actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in and said how it had been arranged the week before. If I'm not plan A I'm not interested. I don't play games and have no time for those who do. " mate you hit the nail on the head I will never be a option for someone I know what I bring to the table | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring." This | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship?" absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck | |||
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"Thinking that the person you are talking to are only talking to you is an easy trap to fall into There's a certain, momentary, gutted feeling to be getting along splendidly with someone only to see a veri pop up from someone else It's a lesson learned Long and short of it is, never make someone a priority, when you are only an option for them " 1000% | |||
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"I talk to many people who are talking to many people. Otherwise it would be boring. This "nothing boring about wanting to be a priority mate | |||
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"I'm probably not likely to know how many others they're chatting with I think it's unlikely that they're lining up a string of get togethers though " you would be surprised | |||
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"I don’t understand the idea of only having one conversation at a time on here. I am not even sure how that would work. People are a priority for me in so far as if I arrange a meet then I will do my utmost to make sure I turn up on time." that’s not prioritising someone that’s just trying to get multiple shags lol if you want to get as many notches on the belt as possible that’s a great way to go about it | |||
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"My nature made me talk to just the person I was planning on meeting. My first arranged meet just ghosted me after confirming the day before, my second arranged meet said he had a work commitment, then disappeared for over a week until I said I was bowing out. If I wasn't talking exclusively, maybe I wouldn't have been left hanging. "ye but would the meets be as good as you would have liked? | |||
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" ye but would the meets be as good as you would have liked?" I'll never know ... I'm not likely to arrange a hundred meets, it's probable I'll still only talk seriously to arrange a meet with 1 or 2 but I guess everyone is different | |||
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" there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs " Perhaps they're not online, that marker is not always correct. Perhaps they only have 40 mins spare and they want to spend that reading the forums, or wanking to pictures, or any other task, not on messaging. Perhaps they have a life outside of Fab and can't/won't immediately devote 100% of their brainpower and time to messaging you
Sheesh! | |||
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"I don’t understand the idea of only having one conversation at a time on here. I am not even sure how that would work. People are a priority for me in so far as if I arrange a meet then I will do my utmost to make sure I turn up on time. that’s not prioritising someone that’s just trying to get multiple shags lol if you want to get as many notches on the belt as possible that’s a great way to go about it "Talking to multiple people is pretty normal. Granted I'm happily poly and operate multiple relationships. But I don't see any need to ever exclusively talk to a single person. It's not about getting notches. There's just zero point in isolating down to that. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck" I think we all want that, well most of us. I don't think people necessarily need to demonstrate that you're a priority in terms of making sure they quickly answer your messages or contact you first each day to show that they're not just using your body. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck I think we all want that, well most of us. I don't think people necessarily need to demonstrate that you're a priority in terms of making sure they quickly answer your messages or contact you first each day to show that they're not just using your body. " I agree with this. There’s something in quality of communication and not just quantity. I’d rather delayed thoughtful interactions where they’ve taken the time to answer over a quickly shot message to give the impression that you’re staying relevant. | |||
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For me to give my all to someone I need to be super attracted to them. Their mind and body.
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" there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs Perhaps they're not online, that marker is not always correct. Perhaps they only have 40 mins spare and they want to spend that reading the forums, or wanking to pictures, or any other task, not on messaging. Perhaps they have a life outside of Fab and can't/won't immediately devote 100% of their brainpower and time to messaging you
Sheesh! "you sound triggered that I have a preference to be prioritised I’m not saying you have to sit and talk to me all day lol I’m a busy person to but if you want to meet me then put the same effort I do into it | |||
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"I still chat to others and will meet if I want too. I’ve had one guy that wanted me to give my all to him and make him a priority and then it turned out he has a partner that doesn’t know he’s on here
For me to give my all to someone I need to be super attracted to them. Their mind and body.
"absolutely he was in the wrong for that but not everyone is like that | |||
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"I don’t want to be anyone’s priority "fair enough | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck I think we all want that, well most of us. I don't think people necessarily need to demonstrate that you're a priority in terms of making sure they quickly answer your messages or contact you first each day to show that they're not just using your body. " if I visually see that they are on and not messaging then going off and coming back on again I can only take that at face value which is that they aren’t that interested so I won’t be either | |||
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"I’m very rarely attracted to someone so if that happens it’ll only be the one. If anyone makes me feel like an option I’m gone. " exactly saf why put time and effort into someone who is keeping you as a option | |||
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Don’t even have the manners to say thanks but I / we have someone now for tonight, maybe another time…
Get fucked, don’t contact me again | |||
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"I keep on talking to others and assume they are doing the same, the only thing that would sour our chat, is if he cancelled our meet, to meet someone else, then I'd walk "see that’s why I don’t like it because they can just keep you as a option I don’t like that I make it clear that they are my priority and would like the same | |||
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"One thing that bugs me is being kept on the boil for a meet unwittingly as the stand-by…
Don’t even have the manners to say thanks but I / we have someone now for tonight, maybe another time…
Get fucked, don’t contact me again"absolutely pal just keeping you as a option don’t stand for it know your worth | |||
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"I’m not too fussed about exclusivity but I would like to feel somewhat of a priority " anyone who says they don’t want to be a priority to someone is a lie | |||
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"Always keep talking to people if the conversation is interesting and completely two way. There's enough time in the day to chat with multiple people and it can also make it feel a little less intense and overwhelming than a complete 1:1 conversation. That said, get me 1:1 in person and then you are my one and only focus for that time... (none of the social media distraction)." absolutely | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck I think we all want that, well most of us. I don't think people necessarily need to demonstrate that you're a priority in terms of making sure they quickly answer your messages or contact you first each day to show that they're not just using your body. if I visually see that they are on and not messaging then going off and coming back on again I can only take that at face value which is that they aren’t that interested so I won’t be either "You need to play the fab game according to the rules that work for you. If that's a red flag for you (and it is for many men and women) fair enough. | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs You have very high expectations. Are you looking for a relationship? absolutely not but I’m not on here to have my body used I want someone to appreciate what I have to offer not just use me for a fuck I think we all want that, well most of us. I don't think people necessarily need to demonstrate that you're a priority in terms of making sure they quickly answer your messages or contact you first each day to show that they're not just using your body. if I visually see that they are on and not messaging then going off and coming back on again I can only take that at face value which is that they aren’t that interested so I won’t be either
You need to play the fab game according to the rules that work for you. If that's a red flag for you (and it is for many men and women) fair enough.
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"One thing that bugs me is being kept on the boil for a meet unwittingly as the stand-by…
Don’t even have the manners to say thanks but I / we have someone now for tonight, maybe another time…
Get fucked, don’t contact me again absolutely pal just keeping you as a option don’t stand for it know your worth "Damn right brother. I especially like when they ghost you an hour or two before the meet… then the guy that said he’s on his way now, has “car problems” and can’t make it… then they get in touch… fucking jog on, I’m deep into a fine bottle of rum, showered, relaxing on my couch, got my hands down my joggers watching Blade Runner.. again. | |||
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"One thing that bugs me is being kept on the boil for a meet unwittingly as the stand-by…
Don’t even have the manners to say thanks but I / we have someone now for tonight, maybe another time…
Get fucked, don’t contact me again absolutely pal just keeping you as a option don’t stand for it know your worth
Damn right brother. I especially like when they ghost you an hour or two before the meet… then the guy that said he’s on his way now, has “car problems” and can’t make it… then they get in touch… fucking jog on, I’m deep into a fine bottle of rum, showered, relaxing on my couch, got my hands down my joggers watching Blade Runner.. again."haha get them told pal | |||
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"I keep on talking to others and assume they are doing the same, the only thing that would sour our chat, is if he cancelled our meet, to meet someone else, then I'd walk see that’s why I don’t like it because they can just keep you as a option I don’t like that I make it clear that they are my priority and would like the same "None of mine would treat me as an option, I am a choice. I don't want to be a priority to them, purely as we are poly and multiple relationships are our norm, we are all treated equally
I guess no feelings fuckbuddies would be the only way, I would accept being a option, but he would have to accept being an option as well, for instance if he was chatting up a lady at a social and she left him at the end of the night and he came asking me, if I wanted to hook up, I wouldn't get all outraged cos he didn't ask me first, as it's only sex right | |||
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"I can prioritise more then one person but it's less than a handful because I wish to (and do so) afford them my undivided attention. The stages of my conversations span from the nascent to the long-term, because they were instigated at different times and continue at their respective momentum (fewer messages but long missives, or frequent messages but concise). This means that any potential meets will occur between 'now' or within six months...or not at all, because conversations fizzle out, geographical disparities impede the opportunity or personal reasons (extraneous to Fab) are to blame. Aside from that I keep in touch with Fab friends and forum dwellers, either on here, Telegram or WhatsApp." that’s great pal but a big factor for a lot of people why convos fizzle is because they don’t feel like they are getting enough back in return | |||
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"I keep on talking to others and assume they are doing the same, the only thing that would sour our chat, is if he cancelled our meet, to meet someone else, then I'd walk see that’s why I don’t like it because they can just keep you as a option I don’t like that I make it clear that they are my priority and would like the same
None of mine would treat me as an option, I am a choice. I don't want to be a priority to them, purely as we are poly and multiple relationships are our norm, we are all treated equally
I guess no feelings fuckbuddies would be the only way, I would accept being a option, but he would have to accept being an option as well, for instance if he was chatting up a lady at a social and she left him at the end of the night and he came asking me, if I wanted to hook up, I wouldn't get all outraged cos he didn't ask me first, as it's only sex right "it is only sex but that mean a lot of things to a lot of different people if a lady did what you just said to me she would get no attention back off me I would feel like a second option and will not be that | |||
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"I can prioritise more then one person but it's less than a handful because I wish to (and do so) afford them my undivided attention. The stages of my conversations span from the nascent to the long-term, because they were instigated at different times and continue at their respective momentum (fewer messages but long missives, or frequent messages but concise). This means that any potential meets will occur between 'now' or within six months...or not at all, because conversations fizzle out, geographical disparities impede the opportunity or personal reasons (extraneous to Fab) are to blame. Aside from that I keep in touch with Fab friends and forum dwellers, either on here, Telegram or WhatsApp. · that’s great pal but a big factor for a lot of people why convos fizzle is because they don’t feel like they are getting enough back in return "• Hence why I have a section at the bottom of my main profile, titled "My Limits". I refuse to put up with any nonsense from vacuous women. | |||
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"When I was meeting the only time I expected to be someone's priority was when I was physically with them. Apart from that they did wat they liked with who they liked as did I." if that works for you then that’s fine but I don’t like the thought of myself putting my all into meeting someone for them to have a long list of people they are keeping at the ready just in case if I go to meet with someone and they bail I won’t just brag the next on the list because I don’t have a list or want one | |||
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"I use to always treat people as a priority but over time a lot of signs indicated I was only an option, my eyes have definately been opened on fab if I’m honest." not every one is like that trust me | |||
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"When I was meeting the only time I expected to be someone's priority was when I was physically with them. Apart from that they did wat they liked with who they liked as did I. if that works for you then that’s fine but I don’t like the thought of myself putting my all into meeting someone for them to have a long list of people they are keeping at the ready just in case if I go to meet with someone and they bail I won’t just brag the next on the list because I don’t have a list or want one "If that works for you then that's fine. I actively prefer people to have other interests and pursuits. Someone I barely know yet relying entirely on me, a relative stranger, for all remotely sexual interaction? That feels fucking weird to me. | |||
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"When I was meeting the only time I expected to be someone's priority was when I was physically with them. Apart from that they did wat they liked with who they liked as did I. if that works for you then that’s fine but I don’t like the thought of myself putting my all into meeting someone for them to have a long list of people they are keeping at the ready just in case if I go to meet with someone and they bail I won’t just brag the next on the list because I don’t have a list or want one
If that works for you then that's fine.
I actively prefer people to have other interests and pursuits. Someone I barely know yet relying entirely on me, a relative stranger, for all remotely sexual interaction? That feels fucking weird to me."it’s not for every sexual interaction it’s while you are actively seeking a sexual meet with that person nothing weird about wanting to be someone’s main priority? | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic." people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion | |||
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"it’s not for every sexual interaction it’s while you are actively seeking a sexual meet with that person nothing weird about wanting to be someone’s main priority?" So like in the couple of hours before someone comes over? Obviously by that point they're the primary focus. Someone I've just started chatting to that may turn sexual isn't a reason to cut everyone else out though. | |||
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"it’s not for every sexual interaction it’s while you are actively seeking a sexual meet with that person nothing weird about wanting to be someone’s main priority? So like in the couple of hours before someone comes over? Obviously by that point they're the primary focus. Someone I've just started chatting to that may turn sexual isn't a reason to cut everyone else out though." absolutely but if you read some of the comments I have said when your activity set a meet or looking to meet | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic. people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion "I totally get it. Nothing weird about that at all. Maybe other people are the weird ones. Just saying | |||
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"it’s not for every sexual interaction it’s while you are actively seeking a sexual meet with that person nothing weird about wanting to be someone’s main priority? So like in the couple of hours before someone comes over? Obviously by that point they're the primary focus. Someone I've just started chatting to that may turn sexual isn't a reason to cut everyone else out though. absolutely but if you read some of the comments I have said when your activity set a meet or looking to meet "If a meet is set I'm not talking to anyone else about utilising that time period. If it's not for a few days or more I'll still talk to other people about other days. | |||
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"If I’m meeting for sex then I will give the lucky lady all my attention until I’ve shot my juice in her love hole. Only after this will I turn my attention to the next available axe wound "And they say romance is dead. | |||
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"it’s not for every sexual interaction it’s while you are actively seeking a sexual meet with that person nothing weird about wanting to be someone’s main priority? So like in the couple of hours before someone comes over? Obviously by that point they're the primary focus. Someone I've just started chatting to that may turn sexual isn't a reason to cut everyone else out though. absolutely but if you read some of the comments I have said when your activity set a meet or looking to meet
If a meet is set I'm not talking to anyone else about utilising that time period.
If it's not for a few days or more I'll still talk to other people about other days."and that’s totally fine me personally I don’t have a diary of days I’m going to have sex with different people like to space it out a bit myself | |||
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"If I’m meeting for sex then I will give the lucky lady all my attention until I’ve shot my juice in her love hole. Only after this will I turn my attention to the next available axe wound "and this lady’s is what you will get if your not a priority hahaha | |||
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"and that’s totally fine me personally I don’t have a diary of days I’m going to have sex with different people like to space it out a bit myself "I don't have a diary of it either. But having sex with someone one day still doesn't exclude me from having sex with someone else on another day. Sometimes availability issues mean encounters are closer together than ideal. | |||
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"and that’s totally fine me personally I don’t have a diary of days I’m going to have sex with different people like to space it out a bit myself
I don't have a diary of it either. But having sex with someone one day still doesn't exclude me from having sex with someone else on another day. Sometimes availability issues mean encounters are closer together than ideal."yes that’s totally fine I’m not saying that’s a bad thing it’s just not personally for me that’s all | |||
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"and that’s totally fine me personally I don’t have a diary of days I’m going to have sex with different people like to space it out a bit myself
I don't have a diary of it either. But having sex with someone one day still doesn't exclude me from having sex with someone else on another day. Sometimes availability issues mean encounters are closer together than ideal.yes that’s totally fine I’m not saying that’s a bad thing it’s just not personally for me that’s all"How far do you feel obliged to space it out? | |||
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"and that’s totally fine me personally I don’t have a diary of days I’m going to have sex with different people like to space it out a bit myself
I don't have a diary of it either. But having sex with someone one day still doesn't exclude me from having sex with someone else on another day. Sometimes availability issues mean encounters are closer together than ideal.yes that’s totally fine I’m not saying that’s a bad thing it’s just not personally for me that’s all
How far do you feel obliged to space it out?"not that long there is nothing wrong with that but for me 2 weeks minimum | |||
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"I'm not a swinger so it's different for me I think. I'm not interested in being one of many, nor having many. For one; I'd find myself overstretched and unable to have quality conversations with many. I'd rather skip them than have dull, lacklustre exchanges. I also don't find it enjoyable - I like when I can give attention and energy to another and have it reciprocated. I really value when people give me their time, take an active interest in me. That doesn't mean I won't enjoy talking to multiple people socially but I can't do it for anything deeper. It reminds me of a conversation I had recently - someone told me that they're going to talk to everyone and I really don't want to be spoken to because I'm another person to add to your list. I like genuine interest in me. I do understand that most on this site will have differing views to this and that's cool." that’s my outlook to | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic. people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion "We've had people who made Flik their main priority and it was weird to the point of obsessive and really uncomfortable for her. We've had men who won't visit a club unless we are there which for us defeats the object of going. Swinging is an add on to our life and it will never be a priority. | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic. people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion
We've had people who made Flik their main priority and it was weird to the point of obsessive and really uncomfortable for her. We've had men who won't visit a club unless we are there which for us defeats the object of going. Swinging is an add on to our life and it will never be a priority. "you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different | |||
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"I’m here and I’m not a hardcore swinger, I don’t do the meaningless sex. Connection is key, I want to build on that and see what brings with someone. That recently has happened and she is absolutely insanely beautiful. Fabs works on a multitude of levels and that’s what’s beautiful about this site. Very little is off limits if the dynamics fit those involved " you played it right pal and didn’t try to pick every apple on the tree you only took the best | |||
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"you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different "I mean, if she's prioritising the amazing dream man over her actual partner that's probably not healthy for their relationship. It doesn't matter how 'perfect' someone is. I don't want to be their full time only priority. As long as they're present and there when they're with me | |||
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"I was never expecting to be someone’s priority when I signed up here. I think you’ve got to be careful with expectations on here. I joined FAB with the intention of getting to know people who either had experience of the lifestyle or were looking to explore it. It has helped me open up as a person (still ongoing) and as odd as this might sound I’m finally talking a lot more about sex. A subject I think about everyday but don’t always voice. " that’s great to hear man sounds like fab is working wonders for you | |||
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"you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different
I mean, if she's prioritising the amazing dream man over her actual partner that's probably not healthy for their relationship.
It doesn't matter how 'perfect' someone is. I don't want to be their full time only priority. As long as they're present and there when they're with me "I don’t mean as a full type priority I mean whilst your activity meets with that person and in regards to the example I used that’s just to demonstrate if she was really attracted to the male it would’ve have come across as weird it would have been sexy or hot | |||
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"I don’t mean as a full type priority I mean whilst your activity meets with that person and in regards to the example I used that’s just to demonstrate if she was really attracted to the male it would’ve have come across as weird it would have been sexy or hot " Nah. It doesn't matter if someone has the body of a greek god, if they get weird and clingy and needy it's a massive turn off. | |||
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"you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different
I mean, if she's prioritising the amazing dream man over her actual partner that's probably not healthy for their relationship.
It doesn't matter how 'perfect' someone is. I don't want to be their full time only priority. As long as they're present and there when they're with me "and her husband obviously is her dream man and like all the other couples on here when they met there significant other I bet they gave them there full attention and was there main priority before they even knew they was going to be a couple because that’s the law of attraction if you really want someone you will put the effort in and let them know | |||
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"Thinking that the person you are talking to are only talking to you is an easy trap to fall into There's a certain, momentary, gutted feeling to be getting along splendidly with someone only to see a veri pop up from someone else It's a lesson learned Long and short of it is, never make someone a priority, when you are only an option for them " This exactly, I know what you mean. I've either assumed or hoped I've been a priority and equally liked in return by someone to then see a veri pop up or a looking to meet post put up x | |||
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"I don’t mean as a full type priority I mean whilst your activity meets with that person and in regards to the example I used that’s just to demonstrate if she was really attracted to the male it would’ve have come across as weird it would have been sexy or hot Nah. It doesn't matter if someone has the body of a greek god, if they get weird and clingy and needy it's a massive turn off." or is that until you really like someone and they don’t like you back | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic. people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion
We've had people who made Flik their main priority and it was weird to the point of obsessive and really uncomfortable for her. We've had men who won't visit a club unless we are there which for us defeats the object of going. Swinging is an add on to our life and it will never be a priority. you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different "Absolutely not...yes we like options...multiple options which is why our preference is to go to clubs and play in groups. She didn't like it because it was creepy. We aren't going to agree which is fine as everyone swings in their own way. | |||
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"I was never expecting to be someone’s priority when I signed up here. I think you’ve got to be careful with expectations on here. I joined FAB with the intention of getting to know people who either had experience of the lifestyle or were looking to explore it. It has helped me open up as a person (still ongoing) and as odd as this might sound I’m finally talking a lot more about sex. A subject I think about everyday but don’t always voice. that’s great to hear man sounds like fab is working wonders for you "Working wonders is perhaps a little too optimistic, there’s a lot of bullshit too lol The moment it’s ceases to be on balance, a positive experience is when I leave. | |||
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"Thinking that the person you are talking to are only talking to you is an easy trap to fall into There's a certain, momentary, gutted feeling to be getting along splendidly with someone only to see a veri pop up from someone else It's a lesson learned Long and short of it is, never make someone a priority, when you are only an option for them This exactly, I know what you mean. I've either assumed or hoped I've been a priority and equally liked in return by someone to then see a veri pop up or a looking to meet post put up x" your speaking to the wrong people then | |||
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"I was never expecting to be someone’s priority when I signed up here. I think you’ve got to be careful with expectations on here. I joined FAB with the intention of getting to know people who either had experience of the lifestyle or were looking to explore it. It has helped me open up as a person (still ongoing) and as odd as this might sound I’m finally talking a lot more about sex. A subject I think about everyday but don’t always voice. that’s great to hear man sounds like fab is working wonders for you
Working wonders is perhaps a little too optimistic, there’s a lot of bullshit too lol
The moment it’s ceases to be on balance, a positive experience is when I leave. "absolutely pal | |||
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"Swingers are options...thats the point isn't it...we're not looking for relationships but if you are that might change the dynamic. people keep bringing up the relationship card it’s nothing to do with that it’s about being someone’s main priority and not just a opinion
We've had people who made Flik their main priority and it was weird to the point of obsessive and really uncomfortable for her. We've had men who won't visit a club unless we are there which for us defeats the object of going. Swinging is an add on to our life and it will never be a priority. you didn’t like it because you obviously wanted more options this is what people don’t seem to understand or she wasn’t that into him if the guy was her dream looking man with the personality to match and was giving her all that attention I’m pretty sure her outlook would be completely different
Absolutely not...yes we like options...multiple options which is why our preference is to go to clubs and play in groups. She didn't like it because it was creepy. We aren't going to agree which is fine as everyone swings in their own way."absolutely wish you guys all the best | |||
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"I don’t mean as a full type priority I mean whilst your activity meets with that person and in regards to the example I used that’s just to demonstrate if she was really attracted to the male it would’ve have come across as weird it would have been sexy or hot Nah. It doesn't matter if someone has the body of a greek god, if they get weird and clingy and needy it's a massive turn off. or is that until you really like someone and they don’t like you back" It's rare it happens that way. But when it does, I accept that they're not as into me as I am into them. I don't have to try and protect my ego with weird lies about them. But, that's a massive detour from the actual comment. | |||
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"I've never had a no show but I've been a Plan B a couple of times. One woman used to complain on the forums about being stood up all the time. I arranged to meet her and texted to confirm the night before. She claimed to have no memory of ever agreeing to meet me and she couldn't possibly have done as she had a number of vanilla issues to deal with. The next day she had a shiny new verification from a popular forum couple. Another woman told me on the day that she was running late due to work issues and if I hadn't heard from her by the time I was leaving work she wouldn't be able to make it. Heard nothing until I was half way home and she messaged to say she was just finishing and it was too late to meet. The next day she posted 2 new verifications. One from a lunchtime meet the day before and one which actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in and said how it had been arranged the week before. If I'm not plan A I'm not interested. I don't play games and have no time for those who do. mate you hit the nail on the head I will never be a option for someone I know what I bring to the table "I've had similar, have msgd me to meet but then post a looking to meet that all and sundry can see and respond to so I could have been cancelled on last minute | |||
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"I don’t mean as a full type priority I mean whilst your activity meets with that person and in regards to the example I used that’s just to demonstrate if she was really attracted to the male it would’ve have come across as weird it would have been sexy or hot Nah. It doesn't matter if someone has the body of a greek god, if they get weird and clingy and needy it's a massive turn off. or is that until you really like someone and they don’t like you back It's rare it happens that way. But when it does, I accept that they're not as into me as I am into them. I don't have to try and protect my ego with weird lies about them. But, that's a massive detour from the actual comment." is it a massive detour tho? Like you just said it rarely happens that way so your obviously used to being the priority from your view you have guys chasing you not the other way round so you put effort into the ones you like and not as much into the others but the day you really like someone and they don’t like you then you might wish you was there priority | |||
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"I've never had a no show but I've been a Plan B a couple of times. One woman used to complain on the forums about being stood up all the time. I arranged to meet her and texted to confirm the night before. She claimed to have no memory of ever agreeing to meet me and she couldn't possibly have done as she had a number of vanilla issues to deal with. The next day she had a shiny new verification from a popular forum couple. Another woman told me on the day that she was running late due to work issues and if I hadn't heard from her by the time I was leaving work she wouldn't be able to make it. Heard nothing until I was half way home and she messaged to say she was just finishing and it was too late to meet. The next day she posted 2 new verifications. One from a lunchtime meet the day before and one which actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in and said how it had been arranged the week before. If I'm not plan A I'm not interested. I don't play games and have no time for those who do. mate you hit the nail on the head I will never be a option for someone I know what I bring to the table
I've had similar, have msgd me to meet but then post a looking to meet that all and sundry can see and respond to so I could have been cancelled on last minute"exactly not great is it | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr " then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process | |||
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"is it a massive detour tho? Like you just said it rarely happens that way so your obviously used to being the priority from your view you have guys chasing you not the other way round so you put effort into the ones you like and not as much into the others but the day you really like someone and they don’t like you then you might wish you was there priority "Yes. It is. The comment was that regardless of how attractive someone is, when they get clingy and weird about it, it's a turn off. When I realise someone is giving me notably less energy than I'm giving them, I take the L and step back from it. No point wishing for something that simply isn't. The two points are completely separate | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process "Don't get it twisted. Fab is fab, because I post stupid shit on the forums, a priority it doesn't make. No thought processes need to be readjusted. It obviously doesn't align with your take on fab and that is OK... Mr | |||
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"is it a massive detour tho? Like you just said it rarely happens that way so your obviously used to being the priority from your view you have guys chasing you not the other way round so you put effort into the ones you like and not as much into the others but the day you really like someone and they don’t like you then you might wish you was there priority
Yes. It is.
The comment was that regardless of how attractive someone is, when they get clingy and weird about it, it's a turn off.
When I realise someone is giving me notably less energy than I'm giving them, I take the L and step back from it. No point wishing for something that simply isn't.
The two points are completely separate "oh so if someone is giving you not enough your taking the back seat if someone is giving you too much its weird and your taking the back seat but the one in the middle was just right ok Goldilocks | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process
Don't get it twisted. Fab is fab, because I post stupid shit on the forums, a priority it doesn't make.
No thought processes need to be readjusted.
It obviously doesn't align with your take on fab and that is OK...
Mr
"it makes it a priority if your taking time out of your day to meet people and talk to them tho doesn’t it ? | |||
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"I use to always treat people as a priority but over time a lot of signs indicated I was only an option, my eyes have definately been opened on fab if I’m honest. not every one is like that trust me "Just the majority I’ve met lol | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process
Don't get it twisted. Fab is fab, because I post stupid shit on the forums, a priority it doesn't make.
No thought processes need to be readjusted.
It obviously doesn't align with your take on fab and that is OK...
Mr
it makes it a priority if your taking time out of your day to meet people and talk to them tho doesn’t it ?"Maybe in your thinking, or the way that you use fab!. We all don't use fab the same now do we. | |||
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"I use to always treat people as a priority but over time a lot of signs indicated I was only an option, my eyes have definately been opened on fab if I’m honest. not every one is like that trust me
Just the majority I’ve met lol "that’s unfortunate lol | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process
Don't get it twisted. Fab is fab, because I post stupid shit on the forums, a priority it doesn't make.
No thought processes need to be readjusted.
It obviously doesn't align with your take on fab and that is OK...
Mr
it makes it a priority if your taking time out of your day to meet people and talk to them tho doesn’t it ?
Maybe in your thinking, or the way that you use fab!. We all don't use fab the same now do we."that’s true pal wish you all the best | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process
Don't get it twisted. Fab is fab, because I post stupid shit on the forums, a priority it doesn't make.
No thought processes need to be readjusted.
It obviously doesn't align with your take on fab and that is OK...
Mr
it makes it a priority if your taking time out of your day to meet people and talk to them tho doesn’t it ?
Maybe in your thinking, or the way that you use fab!. We all don't use fab the same now do we. that’s true pal wish you all the best "Have a good un | |||
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"oh so if someone is giving you not enough your taking the back seat if someone is giving you too much its weird and your taking the back seat but the one in the middle was just right ok Goldilocks "Not taking a back seat. Stepping back and not continuing to be involved at all because it's obviously not the right fit for me in either situation. Wanting relationships with compatible people doesn't seem like a reason to be dismissively called Goldilocks. But whatever makes you feel better about yourself | |||
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"oh so if someone is giving you not enough your taking the back seat if someone is giving you too much its weird and your taking the back seat but the one in the middle was just right ok Goldilocks
Not taking a back seat. Stepping back and not continuing to be involved at all because it's obviously not the right fit for me in either situation.
Wanting relationships with compatible people doesn't seem like a reason to be dismissively called Goldilocks. But whatever makes you feel better about yourself "you just shown how it’s a complete mine field for some men you give someone too much your weird creepy not enough your just going to shut it down I wish you the best will get far with that mindset | |||
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"you just shown how it’s a complete mine field for some men you give someone too much your weird creepy not enough your just going to shut it down I wish you the best will get far with that mindset "... Isn't that the actual case for the majority of humans though? If someone is always coming on too strong they're likely to face a lot of rejection. If someone is always too timid or uninvested, ditto. If you're incapable of reading the room and the energy that's there to work with you're going to struggle with any prolonged human interaction. It's not about being mean or it being a minefield. It's just how humans actually interact with each other. | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process "I don't think you are understanding swinging. Couples come on here to be in the lifestyle and it as an extra to their sex life. Singles come on here to mix and mingle No one is prioritising it over their life. There are some people here looking for a relationship or to date from the site. They maybe the ones that prioritise. Just because you don't prioritise someone doesn't mean you don't respect them | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process I don't think you are understanding swinging. Couples come on here to be in the lifestyle and it as an extra to their sex life. Singles come on here to mix and mingle No one is prioritising it over their life.
There are some people here looking for a relationship or to date from the site. They maybe the ones that prioritise. Just because you don't prioritise someone doesn't mean you don't respect them"just because you prioritise doesn’t mean your looking for a relationship | |||
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"I find it a bit weird people want to be someone’s priority on a swinging website. We prioritise each other, after that if someone piques our interest we will talk to them, if it’s more than one person we will talk to more than one. The person who gets the most attention is the one we’re enjoying talking to most. Alas it’s rare someone piques our interest." why is it weird to want to be a priority? | |||
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"I tended to focus on one (meet wise). Still chatted to friends though. Just not in a saucy “show me your cock” kind of way." exactly that what I mean | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs " I can frequently be online, receive a message but not reply for an hour or several. Messages take brain power, I like to put thought into them and effort into the conversation. Mindless scrolling or perusing the forum etc does not and I like that bit of escapism sometimes. If there’s a pressing need to message someone more quickly then I will but otherwise a delayed reply doesn’t mean they’re not a priority or that they’re one of many just by default! … I stay loosely in touch with people I meet between times, because if I’m meeting them it’s because I think they’re fundamentally nice people and ones I can chat to, so why wouldn’t I, but it may not be daily, life’s busy. I do ensure they have my focus and are prioritised in the run up to a meet though. I never assume I’m the only person they’re talking to or meeting, tbh nor would I want to be. I don’t want to feel I *have* to see someone because I’m the only option and therefore feel obligated, I want to see them because I actually want to! But life is busy and my chances to meet can be limited so it also removes the pressure if there’s others tbh. Doesn’t mean they won’t be my priority when I’m free though, quite the opposite. And I do like/expect that courtesy in return. | |||
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"you just shown how it’s a complete mine field for some men you give someone too much your weird creepy not enough your just going to shut it down I wish you the best will get far with that mindset
... Isn't that the actual case for the majority of humans though?
If someone is always coming on too strong they're likely to face a lot of rejection. If someone is always too timid or uninvested, ditto.
If you're incapable of reading the room and the energy that's there to work with you're going to struggle with any prolonged human interaction.
It's not about being mean or it being a minefield. It's just how humans actually interact with each other."it’s not that called being to problematic and can send you my veris if you think it’s that deep my human interactions are just fine | |||
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"Nope, we're an open book and only loyal to each other. " Exactly this | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process I don't think you are understanding swinging. Couples come on here to be in the lifestyle and it as an extra to their sex life. Singles come on here to mix and mingle No one is prioritising it over their life.
There are some people here looking for a relationship or to date from the site. They maybe the ones that prioritise. Just because you don't prioritise someone doesn't mean you don't respect them just because you prioritise doesn’t mean your looking for a relationship "Question that springs to my mind is this. Why are you placing some much importance on prioritising?.. Even when I used fab as a single man, or engaged in thr lifestyle as a single man, it was never my priority. Mr | |||
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"Could you not make multiple people a priority? Some can do this. Absolutely. But only if they match your effort. if one person is prioritising you and you are putting effort into multiple people you are simply not putting the same amount of effort as the other person is Oh I absolutely am. Besides, how can you tell the person you “prioritise” isn’t talking to multiple people too? there are many signs responding in a timely manner if I send a message and your online for the next 40 mins and don’t respond then your attention is obviously somewhere else. If I’m sending lengthy messages and your sending one word answers that’s another sign.not being the first person to message the next day there are so many signs I can frequently be online, receive a message but not reply for an hour or several. Messages take brain power, I like to put thought into them and effort into the conversation. Mindless scrolling or perusing the forum etc does not and I like that bit of escapism sometimes. If there’s a pressing need to message someone more quickly then I will but otherwise a delayed reply doesn’t mean they’re not a priority or that they’re one of many just by default! … I stay loosely in touch with people I meet between times, because if I’m meeting them it’s because I think they’re fundamentally nice people and ones I can chat to, so why wouldn’t I, but it may not be daily, life’s busy. I do ensure they have my focus and are prioritised in the run up to a meet though. I never assume I’m the only person they’re talking to or meeting, tbh nor would I want to be. I don’t want to feel I *have* to see someone because I’m the only option and therefore feel obligated, I want to see them because I actually want to! But life is busy and my chances to meet can be limited so it also removes the pressure if there’s others tbh. Doesn’t mean they won’t be my priority when I’m free though, quite the opposite. And I do like/expect that courtesy in return." absolutely it’s all personal preference really | |||
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"The only priorities in my life are Myself, the Mrs, the family, friends. If people on fab are a priority I suggest priorities are reassessed... Mr then why are you on it this is obviously some sort of priority to everyone here or you wouldn’t be here if you have had meets that means at that time it was a priority which mean fab was a priority so maybe you need to reasses your thought process I don't think you are understanding swinging. Couples come on here to be in the lifestyle and it as an extra to their sex life. Singles come on here to mix and mingle No one is prioritising it over their life.
There are some people here looking for a relationship or to date from the site. They maybe the ones that prioritise. Just because you don't prioritise someone doesn't mean you don't respect them just because you prioritise doesn’t mean your looking for a relationship
Question that springs to my mind is this.
Why are you placing some much importance on prioritising?..
Even when I used fab as a single man, or engaged in thr lifestyle as a single man, it was never my priority.
Mr "if you had meets it obviously was one of your priorities or you would have taken the time out of your day for the build up then the meet would you? | |||
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"it’s not that called being to problematic and can send you my veris if you think it’s that deep my human interactions are just fine "How is it being too problematic? It was apparent from the first contact that we're not compatible people and have very different ideals of how things should go. That's fine. There's people that are more suited to your way and people that are more suited to mine, and neither of them are wrong, but they are also likely incompatible with each other. You've made it pretty clear you don't want to continue to engage with people who are giving a very different energy level to the connection than you are, why is me saying that I do the same thing being problematic? | |||
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"I find it a bit weird people want to be someone’s priority on a swinging website. We prioritise each other, after that if someone piques our interest we will talk to them, if it’s more than one person we will talk to more than one. The person who gets the most attention is the one we’re enjoying talking to most. Alas it’s rare someone piques our interest.why is it weird to want to be a priority?" Because this is a tiny part of our life, we pop on and off and only occasionally look for someone to have some fun with. If we were looking to find someone to be part of our relationship then we’d start making people a priority, but for a bit of fun now and again, not so much. | |||
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