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Too many verifications
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Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet? |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
Well we've been doing this over ten years now and for a lifestyle that's supposed to be open minded and non judgemental we've found it to be exactly the opposite.
People can be very judgemental and closed minded. |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t…
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By *hilloutMan 16 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Display the amount you're comfortable with. Impossible to please everyone. Having many veris doesn't necessarily mean you've slept with all. Many could be social.
I display those that convey well the kind of person I am and what one could expect in meeting me. Socially or otherwise  |
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"Display the amount you're comfortable with. Impossible to please everyone. Having many veris doesn't necessarily mean you've slept with all. Many could be social.
I display those that convey well the kind of person I am and what one could expect in meeting me. Socially or otherwise "
I haven’t slept with many of mine… fucked all of them though  |
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By *hilloutMan 16 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Display the amount you're comfortable with. Impossible to please everyone. Having many veris doesn't necessarily mean you've slept with all. Many could be social.
I display those that convey well the kind of person I am and what one could expect in meeting me. Socially or otherwise
I haven’t slept with many of mine… fucked all of them though "
Details, details |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
Well that's me fucked then.
 |
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There’s no right or wrong.
A lot of ours are socials - a number are play. We’ve been here 4 years and gone to a lot of socials and events.
If people judge us on the amount of veri’s we have then they aren’t going to be the type of people we’d be interested in anyway.
Our veri’s show how good we are as a couple so they are displayed with pride 
K |
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We find the verification can be a good way of judging how people are we equally have no problem meeting people who don't have any
The ones that do make ne angry are the ones who openly ask for a verification after just a couple of messages |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t…
"
This is true.
Better to not try to please everyone. Those who see positives will find us. I'm extremely proud of my verifications - particularly as many are social, from people I've played with AND some I haven't, but who have become friends. True to say you'll never please everyone. |
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I don't show mine think I've only got 4, enough to show I'm genuine and of late I've been asking people not to veri me, mostly that's complied with but still get odd ones I just don't show them. Vast majority of people I'll swing with are local anyway and they either know me, know of me or have had verbal verification from someone who does/has. |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?
Well that's me fucked then.
"
Or not… as the case may be
Display as many as you want OP. If it offends others fuck them… |
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I have a lot of social ones and a lot from good friends that I display. There are very few play ones and people have actually commented to me that they wondered if we ever actually played! You can’t win whatever you do.
Kx |
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"Swingers site or not, some people just don't want to be the latest on a long list
There's times when we all need to accept that we simply can't attract everyone
...or are there?!"
You've lost me I'm afraid |
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"Swingers site or not, some people just don't want to be the latest on a long list
There's times when we all need to accept that we simply can't attract everyone
...or are there?!
You've lost me I'm afraid"
I was jokingly saying I *can* attract everyone, and that there aren't times when we all need to accept that we can't. :P |
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We've had this before but having been here 17 years you can accumulate a lot of verifications.
We don't worry about it anymore it shows we are actively involved in the lifestyle so we just let people think that they want. |
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By *weet6Woman 16 weeks ago
East Riding |
I'd say, looking at yours OP, that you've put yourself out there, going to clubs and parties, so you're bound to have way more than someone waiting for meets to 'drop in their lap' as it were.
And a bunch of those are the organisers just thanking you for your patronage.
So rather than look at the number, I'd be more interested in what the general theme is, and as yours are all very complimentary, then I'd say, that shows you're a very good bet for a good time!
My guess is, that maybe the lady had another reason, and was just looking for a 'get out clause' that would leave neither of you with egg on your faces
So don't over think it, and just keep having fun
Sxx |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?
Well that's me fucked then.
"
Fucking worn it out mate  |
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Never too many.
Except if they are for the night where they stood someone up, to meet them instead.
People can be here for years and you'd expect them to potentially accumulate lots.
What people do away from me is none of my business. Lots of veris gives great opportunities for people to assess reliability |
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Theirs nothing wrong with having STANDARDS for your choice of sexual partner.
Not wanting to engage with someone with a high body count is one’s personal choice.
We’re not all on here looking for the same thing.
It’s not being “closed minded” or “judgemental”, it’s just not for them. |
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To be fair, I've have my fair share of judgement about the amount of veris I have.. the ironic part is.. the ones that judge have the same amount as veris as I have too so explain that logic to me
But nah, I say the amount of veris shouldn't be an issue really, but I do enjoy reading them though as it gives me an insight to what the person is like |
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No, that's that person's business not mine, if it does bother us we just don't go there.
I think a lot of veris can also be social meets too, which some can't be bothered to look through to see but it's usually the case too.
Miss S x |
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It can put me off, but I do read them. If someone has been here a long time or attends parties and socials then all is fine. However if it’s a multitude of meets from every Tom dick and Harry then no thank you. I go into a pit of fab and look through who they’ve met and who they’ve met and so on. Any bareback photos of any of those then I’m long gone! |
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Social verifications, bring them on but sex meets? If they have hundreds over a short space of time, I'd probably steer clear but that's just my preference, hundreds over 10 years, then that's different. |
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"Funny given the site we are on that someone should be put off by number of verifications. I like reading veris as it me an idea of the type of individual they are "
It does, the veris give a better depth to their profile, gives more of an idea of who they like to meet, what they like to do and I also dig further and take a look at the people’s profiles that verify them in turn for the complete picture |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
I always take the veris for what they were intended to show that this is a real person. If you have a lot you are successful and popular. Taking anything negatively from it says more about the reader really. |
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The majority of ours are socialising, yet we were told recently that we had too many! Clearly they just looked at the number rather than the contents. We love chatting to people in clubs and that's usually how we obtain our veris. We've been in this for a number of years and really didn't think our count was high! |
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"The majority of ours are socialising, yet we were told recently that we had too many! Clearly they just looked at the number rather than the contents. We love chatting to people in clubs and that's usually how we obtain our veris. We've been in this for a number of years and really didn't think our count was high!"
Too many?!? 😳 |
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I assume some are put off by the number of veris I have but sure that's fine. I choose to display the summary so people can make that choice.
Numbers, low or high wouldn't put me off someone in and of themselves. I can only think of one profile where the frequency of the meets told me that I would just be a number and wouldn't find the kind of connection I was looking for. |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
I suppose the whole point of having verifications is to help others make a decision or judgement. Be that positive or negative.
You just have to accept her decision and find someone who is more or a match.
In terms of veri’s being off putting - yes sometimes the number of verifications does put me off people. It’s mostly to do with sexual health. I wouldn’t want to meet someone who has dozens of veri’s in a short amount of time.
Also I very commonly block people who have verifications from unhealthy looking people, and I also don’t meet people who have verifications from people I’ve blocked.
Am I fussy and a little uptight? Yeah probably |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
No! |
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I dislike verifications with passion. I understand they supposed to be helpful but I prefer to make my own judgement on the person. It’s not the number that puts me off, I have many social verifications myself, but from who. |
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You just need to do what makes you comfortable because people are entitled to having an opinion when you do and don’t need it but it doesn’t mean that are all correct. If your sexually active or not do what makes you happy and get verified you only get one life so live it and don’t let their opinions make u question yourself or even think of changing your character 💋 |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
Yes, it would put me off. |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
It's probably because she found someone better/more attractive and used your "too many verifications" as an excuse to let you down. Better than ghosting I suppose. If it wasn't too many verifications, it would have been "not verified..." |
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?
It's probably because she found someone better/more attractive and used your "too many verifications" as an excuse to let you down. Better than ghosting I suppose. If it wasn't too many verifications, it would have been "not verified...""
That’s a very cynical outlook. I think OP is best taking what she said at face value instead of making an imaginary story to villainise her and victimise himself. |
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They could be sleeping with the entire site and just have one social veri.
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
Throw in dating sites, which apparently have a higher success rate.. You don't even see those veris! |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"….
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
…."
This should be in the faq’s …😏 |
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If they had 20 in a week (non club) I may be put off.
But really it’s the content that matters. Are they who they say they are.
Certain “styles” on every verification may indicate that we’re not compatible.
A whole host of women in profile pics & no verification would make me very suspicious of consent.
It’s all a jigsaw really to build up an image…. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"….
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
….
This should be in the faq’s …😏"
Yep. Some people assume every sexual encounter someone has is documented in writing in a verification. 🤦♂️😂😂 |
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To a degree we're really not overly fussed about if someone has lots or very few veris - it's the person/people you click with not a review.
Veris are really only like a fab version of a trip advisor review to a degree, helpful but you and you alone can make up your own mind. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"
Well that's me fucked then.
Or not… as the case may be
Display as many as you want OP. If it offends others fuck them… "
I think if it offends others LB, he may not get the chance to fuck them! |
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"….
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
….
This should be in the faq’s …😏
Yep. Some people assume every sexual encounter someone has is documented in writing in a verification. 🤦♂️😂😂"
I gave myself a veri last because I turned up for the wank I planned and it was definitely me. Accurate record keeping is everything. |
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"….
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
….
This should be in the faq’s …😏
Yep. Some people assume every sexual encounter someone has is documented in writing in a verification. 🤦♂️😂😂"
Yeah but the same logic still applies. If not everything us documented, and you still have 50 published then there’s clearly going to be loads more that aren’t on there. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
|
"….
I think you'd be very naive to assume that people are not regularly meeting others on a swinging site.. Just because there is no evidence
….
This should be in the faq’s …😏
Yep. Some people assume every sexual encounter someone has is documented in writing in a verification. 🤦♂️😂😂
Yeah but the same logic still applies. If not everything us documented, and you still have 50 published then there’s clearly going to be loads more that aren’t on there. "
I think you’re missing the point. |
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There are a lot of small-minded and judgmental people on Fab. You do you and use their attitudes as a means of selecting out negative people. They're not worth time between your ears. Block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Like in any social situation, there is no pleasing everyone. Furthermore, there is a lot of blind judgment going on in this community, and no matter what you do, you'll be exposed to at least some of it, willing or not.
Thus, just do what you feel suits you, and ignore the naysayers. |
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I think maybe the length of time in between meets and verifications. Granted some read as though met at a social but others read like you jump into bed with as mayas possible. How can you get sti or hiv tested in that time?
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"Ok I just had an exchange of view with a lovely single lady who judged me for having too many verifications. In the past the problem was not having enough verifications. What's your idea with verifications? Does their number put you off for a potential meet?"
I'm not really bothered. What would bother me more is if he never people more than once. Not for me as I think sex gets better as you know someone. |
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Having lots of veris doesn’t really put me off of anyone
I have over a 100 from when I hosted club nights but have been in the scene over 10 years
I dont show all of them cos who could be bothered to read them |
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By *8on33Man 8 weeks ago
winfrith |
" Having lots of veris doesn’t really put me off of anyone
I have over a 100 from when I hosted club nights but have been in the scene over 10 years
I dont show all of them cos who could be bothered to read them "
Well you look lovely so I guess 200 people saying they've met you isn't hard to believe but what do veris mean ultimately not a lot I guess one mans goddess is anothers disappointment. |
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" Having lots of veris doesn’t really put me off of anyone
I have over a 100 from when I hosted club nights but have been in the scene over 10 years
I dont show all of them cos who could be bothered to read them Well you look lovely so I guess 200 people saying they've met you isn't hard to believe but what do veris mean ultimately not a lot I guess one mans goddess is anothers disappointment. "
Yeah kind of depends what you are looking for
I mean , I’ve never been keen on overly graphic veris reading them or what others would write about me
I see veris purely as a ‘ met them , real person , had a laugh and maybe more’
Never understood the need for every detail but that’s just me
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By *8on33Man 8 weeks ago
winfrith |
" Having lots of veris doesn’t really put me off of anyone
I have over a 100 from when I hosted club nights but have been in the scene over 10 years
I dont show all of them cos who could be bothered to read them Well you look lovely so I guess 200 people saying they've met you isn't hard to believe but what do veris mean ultimately not a lot I guess one mans goddess is anothers disappointment.
Yeah kind of depends what you are looking for
I mean , I’ve never been keen on overly graphic veris reading them or what others would write about me
I see veris purely as a ‘ met them , real person , had a laugh and maybe more’
Never understood the need for every detail but that’s just me
"
Me to . |
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^just my opinion.
