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Single men equal lepers?
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Just for the sake of clarity I was not talking about me. Luckily I have my share of success among women and couples but talking to many swingers I get the perception that most of single men got a bad reputation. I repeat I am not talking about me |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Just for the sake of clarity I was not talking about me. Luckily I have my share of success among women and couples but talking to many swingers I get the perception that most of single men got a bad reputation. I repeat I am not talking about me"
The lady doth protest too much, methinks
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No O.P. single men are NOT viewed as lepers as far as I know.
Some people complain about poor attitudes and unfortunately blame it on the gender rather than a more realistic cause...
And to be OPEN and honest....... I fucking loath the threads from women who try to 'up their drama or fanciableness' by SCREAMING that a single bloke re messaged etc etc etc |
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I'm not surprised that single men feel this way, people complain about them so often.
The complainants all seem reluctant to filter them out and search for the kind of single men they'd like to meet though. This would also cut down on the number of men complaining that their messages go unacknowledged |
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"I'm not surprised that single men feel this way, people complain about them so often.
The complainants all seem reluctant to filter them out and search for the kind of single men they'd like to meet though. This would also cut down on the number of men complaining that their messages go unacknowledged "
But surely also increase the number of complaints about not being able to message the people they fancy because they don't meet their criteria. It's not like we're ever short of those either. |
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"Just for the sake of clarity I was not talking about me. Luckily I have my share of success among women and couples but talking to many swingers I get the perception that most of single men got a bad reputation. I repeat I am not talking about me"
Why bother with what others are experiencing or doing/not doing ? |
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"Jeez...if I'm a leper then I've spread disease far and wide!  
Don’t worry. Leprosy can’t be contracted through sexual activity. "
It's also entirely curable - unlike the state of being a single man  |
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I don't think I'm a leper
Being here is about setting yourself realistic expectation
It is also about looking further than sex
Being a 50+year old, short arse, hairy openly bi bloke on the podgy side, who isn't particularly social and won't compromise himself just to get a meet, I recognise that I won't get as much interest as a guy who ticks most boxes aesthetically and socially
My interactions here are measured and controlled
I don't expect to be permanently engaged by other members
I'm of an age where I am confident in myself and I'm self assured
I don't measure my worth by the thoughts of strangers on a swingers site
I think that if you do, your ride will bumpier than it needs to be |
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"Hi..is it just my impression that in the beautiful swinger world many people consider single men like lepers to keep at distance? Just a loud thought of mine"
Not always. But there certainly do seem to be more of them on Fab, than say, single women. So a basic understanding of economics would suggest that the old demand vs supply principle applies. There are simply more single men vs couples vs single women on Fab. Framing single men as lepers is a simplistic argument. It isn't helpful for single men to internalise it that way.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. |
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"Hi..is it just my impression that in the beautiful swinger world many people consider single men like lepers to keep at distance? Just a loud thought of mine"
Simply put. No they aren’t.
Some are dickheads the same as is the case in all walks of life. The dickhead name is not exclusively targeted at single men at all. Unless of course… they’re a dickhead. Then it’s quite apt  |
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It doesn't accurately reflect my observations over 15+ years. Much in demand, there is of course tough competition and not all of them keep very high standards.
I think the negative experiences some give do gain a high profile.
But each one stands alone and can do extremely well |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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It's well known that a term of insult in the leper community is "single man".
I've rarely met any guys in the community that feel they are lepers.
I've read plenty of thread though.
If you think everyone on the road is a bad driver, it's probably you. |
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By *ib.Man 25 weeks ago
Hampshire |
"I don't blame them tbh - who would want to fuck someone if their dick fell off before the finale?
Where ya think the first dildo came from? "
Historians have found plenty of wooden phallic shaped items... cave women will still going Fred Flintstone with dildos back in the day. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Jeez...if I'm a leper then I've spread disease far and wide!
Don’t worry. Leprosy can’t be contracted through sexual activity. "
Skin on skin, close proximity over a period of time. So probably can! |
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"Hi..is it just my impression that in the beautiful swinger world many people consider single men like lepers to keep at distance? Just a loud thought of mine"
Absolutely not! However it’s about how they conduct themselves. I/we have met many a single man who have been exactly what we are looking for, many of whom have become longtime friends. However there are far more who are not what we are looking for. It’s just about finding the right ones.
Kx |
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"Unpopular opinion but women and couples are just as bad. Single men are just too desperate for a shag that they won’t call them out on it."
I don’t get any negativity from women or couples. I think because I’m so laid back, a few years ago when I was constantly looking for action on here I’d frustrated if it didn’t happen fast. I honestly think people attract the negativity themselves on here. Anyone , of any gender can simply block inbound messages and go find what they need themselves |
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"I don't blame them tbh - who would want to fuck someone if their dick fell off before the finale?
Where ya think the first dildo came from?
Historians have found plenty of wooden phallic shaped items... cave women will still going Fred Flintstone with dildos back in the day."
Yabba dabba dildo |
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I think it's all about perspective. The club I mostly go to (Libs) has a real cross-section of people. There are those who are pleased to see you once they've sussed your way of things is good/respectful and genuine and will give you a warm welcome, whether interestedin you or not. Some will find you attractive and be prepared to get to know you.
Others will say hi and no more - some of whom will only speak if you speak to them first, otherwise you won't get as much as a glance out of them. Some will only acknowledge their personal cliques and show apathy and/or disdain if you so much has say hi to them.
Finally there will be those who are outright hostile to a single guy, whoever he is and won't distinguish between the good ones and the bad.
You only have two choices - give up and don't go, (which if all single guys did, the prices would rise for everyone else rapidly) or be patient, take the time to find who the nicer, more welcoming people are and focus on the positives. |
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I would say less of a leper and more like a suspected plague carrier. From what we read and are sometimes told there are enough single men who behave like complete idiots that the non single male members have seen enough off them to avoid, or to go in with their defences raised. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Keep hope alive OP 😁
Many of the replies on your thread indicate we’re not lepers just unfortunate to maybe message women who’ve had a/few bad experiences 🤷🏽♂️
Keep hope alive 👍🏽 |
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think about it for a minute the majority of the membership is men ,then couples many of which are just men and the females come in last place many looking for women so that leaves a small percentage of women for men to try and impress ,some guys don't even get off the starting block with their one line sexual introductory messages Hi hows you I'm horny fancy a meet now at your place ?Some put lots of effort into the messages read profiles and send a message that gets that woman interested then she sees the face pic and replies sorry not interested or doesn't reply ,then you've got the pushy blokes who've got the looks they send ok messages the womans interested they meet for a social but no chemistry so they are out ,which leaves the 1% club perfect looks great personality ,messages that make them laugh ,great sex but everyone wants them and jealousy takes over .So I guess you are right we can't be right for being wrong . |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"think about it for a minute the majority of the membership is men ,then couples many of which are just men and the females come in last place many looking for women so that leaves a small percentage of women for men to try and impress ,some guys don't even get off the starting block with their one line sexual introductory messages Hi hows you I'm horny fancy a meet now at your place ?Some put lots of effort into the messages read profiles and send a message that gets that woman interested then she sees the face pic and replies sorry not interested or doesn't reply ,then you've got the pushy blokes who've got the looks they send ok messages the womans interested they meet for a social but no chemistry so they are out ,which leaves the 1% club perfect looks great personality ,messages that make them laugh ,great sex but everyone wants them and jealousy takes over .So I guess you are right we can't be right for being wrong ."
All well and good but do you want to purchase a bell? |
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BTW Misty I may have left something behind last time I was invited into the dungeon hehe