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51% of uk couples do not share finances.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 20 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I read an interesting article about couples who dont share a joint bank account and they especially mentioned uk couples, they did an servey and according to that, about 51% of uk couples do not share a joint account with their partner with younger people more likely to keep their finances separate while 6 in 10 couples do not have a joint saving account, despite sharing long term goals, such as buying a house, starting a family, holiday and other things.
What is your view about it, do you agree with their findings and if you are a couple, do you share your finances or keep it separate, also if you are single and in the future would find someone, would you share your finances with them?
I would and I dont see any reason of why not, unless you are planning to do a quick getaway, that is a joke lol, of course managing money as a couple will be different for everyone and it depends who pays for what too  |
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By *eliWoman 20 weeks ago
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My fiancé and I keep our finances separate.
I have my own savings, shares, my own income. I love it. We do put our money together for holidays, big purchases etc and because my fiancé earns a considerable amount more than me (and I do all house related things) he does contribute more at times.
I love him dearly but it's a non-starter for me after seeing in a negative light what can happen when someone leaves. I have no desire to leave him, will never but I'm also never sharing an account. |
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There isn't a right or wrong here it's down to each individual couple & what they are happy with, what works for them.
I don't have a joint account we contribute equally to all household bills & food, same if we go away anywhere.
Not having a joint account doesn't mean not splitting bills.
Mrs |
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By *aseylee324Couple 20 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
Our finances are separate, but then we have separate homes & separate children!
My ex and I still have a joint account to pay for our kids' education expenses though. Expecting to close it in 3 years time  |
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When I was married we shared everything coming in to one account, pay the bills, savings, split what’s left 50/50. I think it’s really important to give up certain aspects of your independence If married, two become one and all that.
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By *929Man 20 weeks ago
newcastle |
In the 15 years I lived with my ex we always kept our finances separate, I dont really see the need for a joint account ever or what benefit it brings. She never knew or asked what I earn and I never did her. A mate who worked for me for a few years his lass knew every single penny he earned and would question if any of his pay was missing as she controlled his spending, I couldn’t live like that |
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By *a LunaWoman 20 weeks ago
South Wales |
The women in my family always told me to keep my own account, have a joint account for bills etc, they have their own account.
And Judge Judy also advocates this. Never be financially dependent on another, because if you need to break away from them, it’s harder to do if financially tied to them.
Not very romantic. But sensible. |
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"In the 15 years I lived with my ex we always kept our finances separate, I dont really see the need for a joint account ever or what benefit it brings. She never knew or asked what I earn and I never did her. A mate who worked for me for a few years his lass knew every single penny he earned and would question if any of his pay was missing as she controlled his spending, I couldn’t live like that "
I think there's probably a middle ground between these 2 extremes |
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"In the 15 years I lived with my ex we always kept our finances separate, I dont really see the need for a joint account ever or what benefit it brings. She never knew or asked what I earn and I never did her. A mate who worked for me for a few years his lass knew every single penny he earned and would question if any of his pay was missing as she controlled his spending, I couldn’t live like that "
I couldn't live like that either but some people are so financially irresponsible that if someone else didn't take control of their spending they'd be in deep trouble. Also though , some people are control freaks |
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"I read an interesting article about couples who dont share a joint bank account and they especially mentioned uk couples, they did an servey and according to that, about 51% of uk couples do not share a joint account with their partner with younger people more likely to keep their finances separate while 6 in 10 couples do not have a joint saving account, despite sharing long term goals, such as buying a house, starting a family, holiday and other things.
What is your view about it, do you agree with their findings and if you are a couple, do you share your finances or keep it separate, also if you are single and in the future would find someone, would you share your finances with them?
I would and I dont see any reason of why not, unless you are planning to do a quick getaway, that is a joke lol, of course managing money as a couple will be different for everyone and it depends who pays for what too "
Too many horror stories of one partner draining the joint bank account of every penny.....or committing fraud..with the joint bank account...messy messy.
Then there, the constant accusations women face of being a golddigger....only after child support and alimony/spousal support.....
This type of messaging got into my former husband's head in the worst way so no I won't be sharing much complexities with a man again. |
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"Yep. Always separate. Just like marriage is an outdated co dept, so is joint bank accounts. "
We find our joint account very handy when it comes to paying bills, food shopping etc. it means either of us can do it.
We're also married though so out of date on both points  |
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After 33 years together we have shared everything together since buying our first house 32 years ago.it has always worked perfectly well for us.we don't argue very much anyway,but we have never argued ove money.mind you we had sod all in the early years.as far as who earns more,over the years I have earned more and at times kim has earned more.its not something that should matter if you are a partnership.
As far as marriage being outdated,it maybe fir some people.but persanly I love being married. |
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When I was married, everything was joint, it all went into one pot so to speak and then anything we needed to pay came out of that. It was a no brainer. As far as I was concerned as I thought we would be together for ever, it made no sense to have individual accounts. I was wrong about the together for ever however |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 20 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"My fiancé and I keep our finances separate.
I have my own savings, shares, my own income. I love it. We do put our money together for holidays, big purchases etc and because my fiancé earns a considerable amount more than me (and I do all house related things) he does contribute more at times.
I love him dearly but it's a non-starter for me after seeing in a negative light what can happen when someone leaves. I have no desire to leave him, will never but I'm also never sharing an account. "
Hi _eli, that is good to have separate finances too and how you both put money together for holidays and big purchases as well |
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"After 33 years together we have shared everything together since buying our first house 32 years ago.it has always worked perfectly well for us.we don't argue very much anyway,but we have never argued ove money.mind you we had sod all in the early years.as far as who earns more,over the years I have earned more and at times kim has earned more.its not something that should matter if you are a partnership.
As far as marriage being outdated,it maybe fir some people.but persanly I love being married."
I think marriage as it stands is outdated. It's very limited and excludes lots of people |
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"After 33 years together we have shared everything together since buying our first house 32 years ago.it has always worked perfectly well for us.we don't argue very much anyway,but we have never argued ove money.mind you we had sod all in the early years.as far as who earns more,over the years I have earned more and at times kim has earned more.its not something that should matter if you are a partnership.
As far as marriage being outdated,it maybe fir some people.but persanly I love being married."
I loved being married too. The ultimate declaration of sacrificial love and trust. I think that’s why it’s becoming outdated.
If I ever married again I’d insist on joint finances again which is why I probably never will |
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We've been entirely joint since we got married. One account for everything, we discuss "personal" spending and track our household budget jointly.
I bought a dress online this morning, it's a small sum and so I just order. Mr KC does the same for things he might like. We decide together on joint spending like things for the house or whatever.
It works for us. |
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Always had a joint account, when we first had kids and I was a stay at home mum he didn't want me to come 'asking' for money. Said he didn't want me to feel belittled asking for anything. He has always insisted it's not his money, it's ours, even though I didn't work for the first 15 years we were together.
When I went back to work and after listening to some of my girlfriends, I brought up having separate accounts. He asked why I wanted this and I explained that I wanted it because I wanted to feel more independent and be in control of my own finances.
He immediately said OK but asked if I'd thought of everything? I asked what he meant? Well if I wanted to be 'independant' and control my finances would I be contributing to the household and at what level?. I didn't give it a seconds thought and just said 50/50. He asked me if I was sure and I said yeah, again without thinking.
He then worked out our bills and totalled what we'd both have to pay. Turns out that I'd be left with hardly anything, less than £50 a month, whilst he would have a couple of grand a month for himself.
He said he didn't want to do this. He explained that this kind of thing always benefitted the partner with the higher income, and asked why most of his male friends had expensive 'toys', cats motorbikes that kind of thing. How they could always afford to go on lads trips away, golf days, go to the match. Not having a joint account blatantly benefitted the guys in the couples we knew, whilst the girls couldn't see this, so long as they got their hair and nails done.
So we agreed to keep our joint account. We obviously discuss big purchases but day to day we both dip into our pot.
It works for us, we both work equally hard never mind who gets paid more, he's always insisted it's a partnership, we share everything else equally why not money.
Mrs x
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"Always had a joint account, when we first had kids and I was a stay at home mum he didn't want me to come 'asking' for money. Said he didn't want me to feel belittled asking for anything. He has always insisted it's not his money, it's ours, even though I didn't work for the first 15 years we were together.
When I went back to work and after listening to some of my girlfriends, I brought up having separate accounts. He asked why I wanted this and I explained that I wanted it because I wanted to feel more independent and be in control of my own finances.
He immediately said OK but asked if I'd thought of everything? I asked what he meant? Well if I wanted to be 'independant' and control my finances would I be contributing to the household and at what level?. I didn't give it a seconds thought and just said 50/50. He asked me if I was sure and I said yeah, again without thinking.
He then worked out our bills and totalled what we'd both have to pay. Turns out that I'd be left with hardly anything, less than £50 a month, whilst he would have a couple of grand a month for himself.
He said he didn't want to do this. He explained that this kind of thing always benefitted the partner with the higher income, and asked why most of his male friends had expensive 'toys', cats motorbikes that kind of thing. How they could always afford to go on lads trips away, golf days, go to the match. Not having a joint account blatantly benefitted the guys in the couples we knew, whilst the girls couldn't see this, so long as they got their hair and nails done.
So we agreed to keep our joint account. We obviously discuss big purchases but day to day we both dip into our pot.
It works for us, we both work equally hard never mind who gets paid more, he's always insisted it's a partnership, we share everything else equally why not money.
Mrs x
"
I've always earned more than Mr KC and it was my lump sum money that started us off with buying a flat then a house, but that doesn't matter to me. I still earn quite a lot more than him, but we treat everything jointly, as you describe. |
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"Always had a joint account, when we first had kids and I was a stay at home mum he didn't want me to come 'asking' for money. Said he didn't want me to feel belittled asking for anything. He has always insisted it's not his money, it's ours, even though I didn't work for the first 15 years we were together.
When I went back to work and after listening to some of my girlfriends, I brought up having separate accounts. He asked why I wanted this and I explained that I wanted it because I wanted to feel more independent and be in control of my own finances.
He immediately said OK but asked if I'd thought of everything? I asked what he meant? Well if I wanted to be 'independant' and control my finances would I be contributing to the household and at what level?. I didn't give it a seconds thought and just said 50/50. He asked me if I was sure and I said yeah, again without thinking.
He then worked out our bills and totalled what we'd both have to pay. Turns out that I'd be left with hardly anything, less than £50 a month, whilst he would have a couple of grand a month for himself.
He said he didn't want to do this. He explained that this kind of thing always benefitted the partner with the higher income, and asked why most of his male friends had expensive 'toys', cats motorbikes that kind of thing. How they could always afford to go on lads trips away, golf days, go to the match. Not having a joint account blatantly benefitted the guys in the couples we knew, whilst the girls couldn't see this, so long as they got their hair and nails done.
So we agreed to keep our joint account. We obviously discuss big purchases but day to day we both dip into our pot.
It works for us, we both work equally hard never mind who gets paid more, he's always insisted it's a partnership, we share everything else equally why not money.
Mrs x
I've always earned more than Mr KC and it was my lump sum money that started us off with buying a flat then a house, but that doesn't matter to me. I still earn quite a lot more than him, but we treat everything jointly, as you describe."
I read what you'd written before and that is exactly our situation. Can't imagine not sharing things. Lucky he has decent morals otherwise he could have chosen to look after himself when I broached the idea of separate accounts. His Mum obviously brought him up right to respect his wife and treat me as an equal.
Mrs x |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 20 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"There isn't a right or wrong here it's down to each individual couple & what they are happy with, what works for them.
I don't have a joint account we contribute equally to all household bills & food, same if we go away anywhere.
Not having a joint account doesn't mean not splitting bills.
Mrs "
Yes, that is right, there isnt a right or wrong here, that is good you both are contributing equally too |
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My ex and I didn't have joint account. I knew very little about his finances. In fact I couldn't even tell you how much he earned or even what bank accounts he had,and vice versa.
He put set amount into my account each month which covered his half of expenditure.
Big purchases would be the same. I'd pay, he'd give me 50%. |
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By *linky1Couple 20 weeks ago
Sittingbourne |
We live together and work together in our own business (intense I know).
Our money just gets thrown into the communal pot and it has worked for us.
The only time it is a problem is when I want to buy Mrs S a present
and want to keep it a surprise. |
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How I did it was too have a shared account that we both paid into and had sight over to pay bills and then a private account into which mad money was paid. This seemed a practical way to do it and still gave each of us privacy over how we spent our discretionary money. I still do this with my daughter as we share a home. She doesn't need to see if I shopped at lovehoney |
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I think people, especially women who are not working, need a ”fuck off” fund. That is a pot of money that they own so that if things go wrong they can walk. Too many people stay in abusive relationships because they don’t have the financial ability to leave.
Having a joint account for house/living expenses is a great idea but you also need separate money. |
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By *og-ManMan 20 weeks ago
somewhere |
Have a joint bank and credit card account with my wife
All bills and expenses come out of that
Both our full salaries go into it
I have a separate expenses account for work milage expenses thats used to save for my next car each time I switch |
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I had a joint account that a set sum went into, equal for both parties to spend on house stuff.
Everything else was paid separately.
If ever in this position again I'd like similar. I wouldn't want finances pooled into just one pot. |
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"I think people, especially women who are not working, need a ”fuck off” fund. That is a pot of money that they own so that if things go wrong they can walk. Too many people stay in abusive relationships because they don’t have the financial ability to leave.
Having a joint account for house/living expenses is a great idea but you also need separate money."
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"Do those who split 50/50 earn roughly equal amounts and share the caring for children and physical upkeep of the home 50/50 too?"
We've never earned the same, he's always been paid much more than me. For the first 15 years I was a stay at home Mum, so I had no salary. Mrs x
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"Do those who split 50/50 earn roughly equal amounts and share the caring for children and physical upkeep of the home 50/50 too?"
We do now. Previously the person who worked the least hours did the most home and childcare stuff.
Or the person who was home first started dinner. We always played to our individual strengths though and often each of us did more of one particular thing than the other. |
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"Do those who split 50/50 earn roughly equal amounts and share the caring for children and physical upkeep of the home 50/50 too?"
No. I earn more. It's about a 65/35 split I think.
We do roughly equal child care related stuff, school drop off/pick ups and whatnot.
He does way more housekeeping and cooking, but that's mainly a practical thing. I physically cannot do a bunch of stuff either at all or without considerable pain.
I do all the driving because he hasn't got a license.
Etc.
We don't bother to measure individual "contribution". We're a team. |
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"Do those who split 50/50 earn roughly equal amounts and share the caring for children and physical upkeep of the home 50/50 too?"
Most of the time I was a single earner and split money 50/50. We each had roles we were very happy with I was homework monitor, cook, driver and my wife did everything else and took care of me |
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By *andT2023Couple 20 weeks ago
in the middle |
Share everything ..finances included ..always have . Been together 32 yrs. He supported me through uni etc 20 odd yrs ago...i am now the major wage earner ..it would feel odd to change the dynamic now and take my bat n ball away . |
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I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances. |
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances."
It started out as practicality for us. Mr KC was working offshore and due to the lack of phone and internet access back then, he couldn't do financial stuff whilst working away, and he was off for 6+ weeks sometimes. So we started a joint account, initially keeping our own individual ones but eventually, everything just ended up joint and we sacked off the individual accounts. Kinda organic. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 20 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"When I was married we shared everything coming in to one account, pay the bills, savings, split what’s left 50/50. I think it’s really important to give up certain aspects of your independence If married, two become one and all that.
"
That is good you both shared everything in half, yes, giving up certain aspects of your independence is important when you are married too  |
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances."
We have almost identical incomes now. We use a joint account, into which we pay exactly the same each month, all utilities, food, direct debits etc are paid from it. It's just easier.
Also if one of us is incapacitated for any reason the other can still access it.
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances.
We have almost identical incomes now. We use a joint account, into which we pay exactly the same each month, all utilities, food, direct debits etc are paid from it. It's just easier.
Also if one of us is incapacitated for any reason the other can still access it.
"
I didn't want to be left high and dry if Mr KC's offshore chopper fell out of the sky. They went through a spare of doing that in the period he worked offshore. Horrible, horrible   |
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"
It started out as practicality for us. Mr KC was working offshore and due to the lack of phone and internet access back then, he couldn't do financial stuff whilst working away, and he was off for 6+ weeks sometimes. So we started a joint account, initially keeping our own individual ones but eventually, everything just ended up joint and we sacked off the individual accounts. Kinda organic. "
Yeah I can get that it makes sense. I imagine these days that's less of an issue though. You can do everything from your phone, split bills, transfer money etc. It seems kind of redundant.
The only thing that bugged me really was that we had a joint account for house bills, but she would use the card randomly because "it's what came to hand first." (Her bag was like the six demon bag from Big trouble in Little China). Go overdrawn and then pay charges etc. I was like I don't need to see this anymore. You go ahead, have fun with that. We were both a lot happier. |
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances.
We have almost identical incomes now. We use a joint account, into which we pay exactly the same each month, all utilities, food, direct debits etc are paid from it. It's just easier.
Also if one of us is incapacitated for any reason the other can still access it.
I didn't want to be left high and dry if Mr KC's offshore chopper fell out of the sky. They went through a spare of doing that in the period he worked offshore. Horrible, horrible "
Awful!
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances.
We have almost identical incomes now. We use a joint account, into which we pay exactly the same each month, all utilities, food, direct debits etc are paid from it. It's just easier.
Also if one of us is incapacitated for any reason the other can still access it.
I didn't want to be left high and dry if Mr KC's offshore chopper fell out of the sky. They went through a spare of doing that in the period he worked offshore. Horrible, horrible
Awful!
"
We digress, but there was one day when he was travelling, a chopper went down in the same sort of area and the rig he was on had no internet or phone access. I didn't know he'd got there okay. There was no way getting hold of the company. We don't miss those days. |
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"I'm not sure I really see the point of it, especially with modern banking.
I have had joint accounts in the past, it didn't really bring any appreciable benefits.
If you have a close relationship, nest together. Your finances will likely be intertwined on some level, whether both go through the same account or not.
I find it a bit like the having access to each others phone thing. It kind of crosses a line for me into a bit of weird territory of we don't need privacy as we trust each other. Well isn't that the reason that it's ok to have some privacy?
I love a bit of enmeshment, but i'd rather it was the mushy stuff than finances.
We have almost identical incomes now. We use a joint account, into which we pay exactly the same each month, all utilities, food, direct debits etc are paid from it. It's just easier.
Also if one of us is incapacitated for any reason the other can still access it.
I didn't want to be left high and dry if Mr KC's offshore chopper fell out of the sky. They went through a spare of doing that in the period he worked offshore. Horrible, horrible
Awful!
We digress, but there was one day when he was travelling, a chopper went down in the same sort of area and the rig he was on had no internet or phone access. I didn't know he'd got there okay. There was no way getting hold of the company. We don't miss those days. "
I bet! |
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By *ragonbaitCouple 20 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
Me and my ex husband had separate accounts for many years, but we always discussed our finances as a whole. I was either not working, working very part time or back at uni for most of that time, and then when I started working full time and had a more substantial amount coming in, we opened a joint account as well and both put money into it for shared expenses. He earnt more so put in more. But we always kept our individual accounts for individual expenses. Worked for us, we never argued about money.
Dunno what H and I would do if we ever moved in together - probably something similar?
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Having been married three times, I've done all variations. In my first marraige we had a joint account for everything; in my second we had a joint account just for huosekeeping and kept separate accounts for everything else; in my third we kept everything separate because my late wife's children were adamant that we did so I couldn't make off with any of their inheritance. What it really meant was that I paid for everything except a token contribution to food. But that was fine because I could. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 20 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"We have a joint current account, we have our separate accounts, everything goes into the joint and then if we have spare money left over we divvy it up and put it in our separate accounts x"
Hi giveme, that is good and also how you divide the money up, if there is anything left too x |
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Don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about things, it suits everyone differently.
We have been together since school and have always just put our money together but I can imagine it would be different if either of us met someone new.
Miss S x |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 19 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"In the 15 years I lived with my ex we always kept our finances separate, I dont really see the need for a joint account ever or what benefit it brings. She never knew or asked what I earn and I never did her. A mate who worked for me for a few years his lass knew every single penny he earned and would question if any of his pay was missing as she controlled his spending, I couldn’t live like that "
That is good how non of you both asked about it, yes, that could also happen, like it did with your friend there, where she had control over all his savings too.
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We prefer the autonomy of separate accounts.
We both contribute to a joint account for bills, and a savings account for incidentals.
The autonomy serves us well as it maintains our own independence to buy the things we like, how we like. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 16 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"After 33 years together we have shared everything together since buying our first house 32 years ago.it has always worked perfectly well for us.we don't argue very much anyway,but we have never argued ove money.mind you we had sod all in the early years.as far as who earns more,over the years I have earned more and at times kim has earned more.its not something that should matter if you are a partnership.
As far as marriage being outdated,it maybe fir some people.but persanly I love being married."
That is good you have shared everything together too |
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