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Rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions.  |
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It’s been a while since a rejection, but then I don’t put myself out there too often anyway.
There’s no Fab vs non Fab for me, my only interactions with other people in a sexual sense, is here.
Does rejection stop me? No.
I’m not naive enough to think that everyone will fancy a go on me. I know I’m an acquired taste. But I also know that I have nothing to lose from asking. |
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"I haven't been actively seeking since 2022. But there was definitely at least one in late 2022."
Oh. And the rest of the question.
I don't really keep track, it's not often I make the first move and it doesn't always work out, but probably the majority of the time it does.
Rejection stops me pursuing the person who declined. It doesn't stop me from trying if someone else causes those sparks. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
It would only stop me putting myself forward to someone who had already said no. If someone can't take the word no should be banned from a sex site as they might have issues around consent too. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
If we're considering rejection as an actual "no thanks, not interested" reply, then a couple of weeks ago. If we're taking it as someone simply not replying to a message you sent, then earlier today. :P
Again, using the first definition it hasn't happened more than it hasn't, whereas using the second it has. I'm not sure I have enough data yet to accurately gauge how different it is off Fab, but I've had a number of positive encounters and FWBs over the years so at the moment I'd say off Fab is more successful.
I wouldn't let that stop me, though! To one person, I'm not their cup of tea. To someone else, they'd love to take a sip. Letting rejection put up a roadblock simply means that you'll never reach out to the people who wouldn't have rejected you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Lawks, happened ages back.
Not often I put myself out there - so I tend to open up when the signs are almost completely obvious. Like slap in the face obvious.
I'm not implying no isn't reasonable. It absolutely is. But you do get a sense that some might be narcissistic gaslighters.
On self reflection, I'm left questioning my ability to judge "the obvious signs".
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Happens quite often.
I we don’t take it to heart and just move on |
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I would be dishonest if I said that I've never been rejected. I rarely send the first message, other than to other forum dwellers/fora friends, and so rejection is infrequent.
Instead I usually interpret the decay of conversation as a sign of no longer interested...thus 'rejection', but it's been years since a woman uttered the ill-fated words "no thanks and/or I'm not interested".
I have no qualms about putting myself forward. Rejection wouldn't stop me, otherwise I would just close my account on here. |
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I'm sometimes greatful in a weird way to those who reject me. It means I don't waste time energy or effort trying to keep the attention of someone who has mentally checked out. It really is kinder to be honest but gracious. I don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea, but I don't let it affect my self worth too much. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested? "
Not sure, maybe I'm too thick to notice, or maybe it's cos I like chatting to people and so don't actually make sexual advances, and by the time it gets to the stage of inviting her back to my place it's obvious that is what we both want.
"Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab? "
Last time I experienced rejection was at uni when my girlfriend went off with the fiance of one of my classmates! That was a bit of a bummer but it was over 35 years ago.
"Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing? "
Yet to find out. There are Fabsters who i like chatting to and am happy to have as platonic friends, there is one I would like to meet for a social and see if there is a spark, but that has not yet happened.
"Yeah, loads of questions. "
Indeed. So many that I shall go and take my  for a walk in the park. At this time of night the two regulars who sit there smoking a joint and listening to music may have called it a night. So it should be peaceful, except for the odd fox. |
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I guess January, and it wasn't a direct rejection but it hurt just the same. I haven't actually met anyone since because it kind of put me off and I needed a minute to re-evaluate how I go about things on here.
Generally, I sulk for a bit and then get over myself. It's just taken a bit longer than usual this time. |
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Rejection on fab or in life doesn't bother me. It's being ignored that i find disheartening.
When ones taken time to read someone's profile and put a well thought out message together based off the information they've provided, I think it's just rude and shows me a lot about who they are at their core. So that disheartened feeling more relates to me reading them wrong and building them up into someone they're not. In my mind that is.
I find I am way more successful in life when meeting women face to face ad there are for my dynamics at play, I.e voice, aftershave, idiosyncrasies etc.
Rejection has never put me off reaching out, but fab filters have definitely hindered me shooting my shot. Especially in regards to you, Bella 
The way your profile is wrote and your third public picture has most certainly captivated me. Your smile and those dimples definitely makes my body do the fuzzy thing. Intelligent women with high standards are the only ones I am interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"I guess January, and it wasn't a direct rejection but it hurt just the same. I haven't actually met anyone since because it kind of put me off and I needed a minute to re-evaluate how I go about things on here.
Generally, I sulk for a bit and then get over myself. It's just taken a bit longer than usual this time."
Interesting. Do you think it hurts despite being an indirect rejection because you’ve attached the rejection to something being off about the way you go about things?
Was the indirectness something that affected how you’ve taken longer to get over it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Yesterday and today, feeling unsexy "
Rejection is a part of life. Where there are people that dislike you, there too exist those that fancy the pants off you. May you find your person or people who fancy the pants off you!
Do you see rejection as you not being sexy globally as in to everyone that sees you, or simply to that person?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"I haven't been actively seeking since 2022. But there was definitely at least one in late 2022.
Oh. And the rest of the question.
I don't really keep track, it's not often I make the first move and it doesn't always work out, but probably the majority of the time it does.
Rejection stops me pursuing the person who declined. It doesn't stop me from trying if someone else causes those sparks."
I’m serious disturbed you didn’t use your signature  at the end of your message.
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Yesterday and today, feeling unsexy
Rejection is a part of life. Where there are people that dislike you, there too exist those that fancy the pants off you. May you find your person or people who fancy the pants off you!
Do you see rejection as you not being sexy globally as in to everyone that sees you, or simply to that person?
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I'm not sure but constantly being rejected does take a till, as I never had a problem 10 15 years ago meeting a girl in a bar and have them coming up to me but seems on here or internet I'm not desirable |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Rejection on fab or in life doesn't bother me. It's being ignored that i find disheartening.
When ones taken time to read someone's profile and put a well thought out message together based off the information they've provided, I think it's just rude and shows me a lot about who they are at their core. So that disheartened feeling more relates to me reading them wrong and building them up into someone they're not. In my mind that is.
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It's not rude to not reply.
Do you reply to junk mail that comes through your letterbox, or unsolicited emails.
Fabs FAQ says this in response to the statement:
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?" |
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I think I have only really experienced rejection once but I don't tend to put myself out there (much as I regret not doing so more in the past), and it wasn't an embarrassing, painful, ego-shattering moment thankfully either.
Simply had too much to drink and made a suggestion to a good friend of mine that he come to bed with me.
Being the completely lovely Gentleman that he was, he said he couldn't because I was d*unk and grieving and he thought I might regret it in the morning.
Instead we cuddled and sat up and talked until the sun rose.
He's still a good friend and I love him to pieces. ?? x |
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"I think I have only really experienced rejection once but I don't tend to put myself out there (much as I regret not doing so more in the past), and it wasn't an embarrassing, painful, ego-shattering moment thankfully either.
Simply had too much to drink and made a suggestion to a good friend of mine that he come to bed with me.
Being the completely lovely Gentleman that he was, he said he couldn't because I was d*unk and grieving and he thought I might regret it in the morning.
Instead we cuddled and sat up and talked until the sun rose.
He's still a good friend and I love him to pieces. ?? x"
This is possibly the most heartwarming thing I've read on here. Good form,old boy. I respect your friends style.
Thanks for sharing this stroy with us. It's wholesome af! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Not sure, maybe I'm too thick to notice, or maybe it's cos I like chatting to people and so don't actually make sexual advances, and by the time it gets to the stage of inviting her back to my place it's obvious that is what we both want.
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Last time I experienced rejection was at uni when my girlfriend went off with the fiance of one of my classmates! That was a bit of a bummer but it was over 35 years ago.
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yet to find out. There are Fabsters who i like chatting to and am happy to have as platonic friends, there is one I would like to meet for a social and see if there is a spark, but that has not yet happened.
Yeah, loads of questions.
Indeed. So many that I shall go and take my for a walk in the park. At this time of night the two regulars who sit there smoking a joint and listening to music may have called it a night. So it should be peaceful, except for the odd fox."
The important things first, did your dog get taken on a walk? Did you find a fox?
Onwards with less important bits now…
What a way to not notice rejection. You seem completely unbothered in a positive way. Perhaps having no expectations , as you seem to have come to, when interacting with others is the key here.
Thanks for sharing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Yesterday and today, feeling unsexy
Rejection is a part of life. Where there are people that dislike you, there too exist those that fancy the pants off you. May you find your person or people who fancy the pants off you!
Do you see rejection as you not being sexy globally as in to everyone that sees you, or simply to that person?
I'm not sure but constantly being rejected does take a till, as I never had a problem 10 15 years ago meeting a girl in a bar and have them coming up to me but seems on here or internet I'm not desirable "
Sometimes, as they say if it’s not broken…
If meeting in bars suits you stick to what works! |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"
Indeed. So many that I shall go and take my for a walk in the park. At this time of night the two regulars who sit there smoking a joint and listening to music may have called it a night. So it should be peaceful, except for the odd fox.
The important things first, did your dog get taken on a walk? Did you find a fox?
Onwards with less important bits now…
What a way to not notice rejection. You seem completely unbothered in a positive way. Perhaps having no expectations , as you seem to have come to, when interacting with others is the key here.
Thanks for sharing. "
The enjoyed his walk. It was way too interesting (not a fox though), but I am contemplating a specific thread about it tomorrow!
In terms of rejection, I suppose if I was on here just wanting to get laid all the time I would probably be as bitter and resentful as quite a few of the men on here (come on, I am 60, and whilst I may think I am 28, that is not the case - besides at 28 I was having less fun than I am now)
I am predominantly on here for the Forum (taking the piss, making inane comments and being entertained by the humour and sarcasm of others) and for chatting with friends. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Get rejected on a fairly regular basis, but its not an issue, some people like you, some people don't, i simply thank them for their time wish them the best and move on..
Strangely some of the best conversations I've had have been through getting rejected, and even though we'll never meet we still chat many months after. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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I’d have sent a DM and they always got read and deleted. That would definitely have been the last time I made it clear I’d have like to have talked to someone.
On the forum I’ve been interested in a couple of women who gave clear hints they are not interested, one specifically said no when I asked. #they know who….  but it’s cool. I still smile when I read her stuff.
I’m rarely my types type, I get it.
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"I’d have sent a DM and they always got read and deleted. That would definitely have been the last time I made it clear I’d have like to have talked to someone.
On the forum I’ve been interested in a couple of women who gave clear hints they are not interested, one specifically said no when I asked. #they know who…. but it’s cool. I still smile when I read her stuff.
I’m rarely my types type, I get it.
"
And yes, this experience the ignoring mail and rejection absolutely stopped me using the site as it was set up for. Remember, the forum is only used by a very very small number. So I simply never put myself forward anymore, rejection takes me a long time to get over. Anyone who can just shake that off when they like someone is a better person than I, can you tell me how? |
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By *lfa RomeoMan 11 weeks ago
southeast , Herts, Beds |
"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Rejection does definitely knock your confidence, and will sometimes stop me from contacting someone off here because of it
But I find it rather amusing that I was once rejected from a lady on here but the lady I later discovered wanted to connect with me on a dating site. Really bizarre |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Fortunately for me I get off on people liking me so if their not interested then I lose interest. Recently at a club I was rejected by someone who then hooked up with someone who was as rough as a badgers bum
Rejection is one thing but rejection from a fool is cruel - as Morrisery once sang |
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It's not something I've really experienced on here. In my early days on fab I did have people say I wasn't their type but I didn't see it as rejection and in some cases we continued to chat anyway.
I've rarely had the type the conversation that could lead to rejection as most either just fizzle out or grow organically.
I can't compare with elsewhere because this is the only place that I talk to people about these things and as I haven't been meeting for a few years for personal reasons and haven't sent a single message since the beginning of 2020, rejection isn't something I give much thought to. |
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"Fortunately for me I get off on people liking me so if their not interested then I lose interest. Recently at a club I was rejected by someone who then hooked up with someone who was as rough as a badgers bum
Rejection is one thing but rejection from a fool is cruel - as Morrisery once sang"
To be fair, that person who was "as rough as a Badgers bum" might just have been attractive to the person who rejected you, we don't all have the same type or find the same people attractive..
Not trying the nasty here or argumentative you understand, just saying...
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I don't massively put myself forward enough to get rejected.
I'm pretty much Fab lazy, fussy, and CBA half the time too. When the right person fluffs my fur, accepts Oxford commas or is interesting enough, then rejection can happen when the den is left.
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By *eliWoman 11 weeks ago
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested? "
It's not something I've experienced. That's not necessarily a good thing though, I think I'm far too cautious.
"Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab? "
Nope, see above. It's the same off of Fab. If someone isn't interested or I start getting the feeling they're not, I very quickly lose interest. I'm kind of glad it happens that way at times - I've read too many threads and posts from people calling others harpies or evil because they don't deal well with feeling rejected.
"Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?"
At times it can. I'll message people first happily but that's because I'm approaching it as an "I think you're cool" thing, I rarely fancy someone without a level of friendship there first.
I have pushed myself a bit this year though. Messaged someone who I thought before would never really be interested in me, rather cheekily seeing if they remember me. Last time my worries stopped me. This time they didn't.
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Loads of times. I'm surprisingly bad at reading people sometimes. On occasion I just feel like a bit of a prat for mis-reading the signs, laugh and move on.
Other times, it's hurt deeply and I've beat myself up over how I got it so wrong.
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Around Xmas time, with a guy I'd spoken to on and off or ages so yeah that kinda sucked.
I don't get attention or seek attention away from fab.
It doesn't stop me really, but I like very few people. I guess I'm more whatever about stuff now, I'm not gonna gush over you and get all excited about meeting you. You'll probably get very little out of me until we're actually face to face, I used to be very different to that.
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?"
A direct "thanks, but no thanks"? I've never received one of those. I've had conversations I've initiated not really go anywhere, and established conversations fizzle out. Indirect rejection. I've occasionally been rejected by people who I've been meeting, the most recent being in February this year.
"Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?"
When I send a first message it's because I've observed someone on the forum and thought "They seem fun. I think we could be on the same wavelength". I don't send many! As a result, it's more often that my overtures are received positively. If I was approaching people based on pretty pictures alone I'd expect to be rejected more frequently than welcomed.
I've not approached anyone in real life since I was 20, so I can't answer the second part of the question.
"Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?"
I like to send a first message rather than receive. Lack of interest may be momentarily disappointing, but I send that first message knowing full well that I may not float their boat. It hasn't put me off putting myself forward so far.
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By *hilloutMan 11 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
We can't please everyone, even those where in theory, we tick the requirements set out on their profile.
When I was active, I would suffer the occasional rejection. Wouldn't affect me or knock my confidence in putting myself out there.
You win some, you lose some. It's life |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
This has never happened to me.
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not?
No i've never being rejected to my face
Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
About the same i'd say
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
No not at all.
Yeah, loads of questions. "
There ya go ..... all answered |
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"It's not something I've really experienced on here. In my early days on fab I did have people say I wasn't their type but I didn't see it as rejection and in some cases we continued to chat anyway.
I've rarely had the type the conversation that could lead to rejection as most either just fizzle out or grow organically.
I can't compare with elsewhere because this is the only place that I talk to people about these things and as I haven't been meeting for a few years for personal reasons and haven't sent a single message since the beginning of 2020, rejection isn't something I give much thought to. "
I'll add to this by saying that in my teens rejection was the norm. Every girl I asked out just wanted to be friends or were more interested in my mates so I know how it feels. I just don't put myself in those positions anymore. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
If we are talking about real life then couple of weeks ago.
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Don’t experience rejection a lot, it’s the non replies that I find rude however I acknowledge that some people take any contact as a green light even if the message is no no thanks so I do understand why.
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
I would only stop approaching those who had said no. I’m genuinely interested in people and will chat to anyone regardless.
Yeah, loads of questions. "
No worries cutie x |
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I never make the first move. Only have ever done it once in my life, last year in real life, I found someone attractive that was doing some work at my job (contractor) and I made it very clear I liked him, we chatted on Snapchat for a bit but ultimately I made a bit of a twat of myself so I would never do it again, here or in real life |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Constantly rejected in life off and on fab I’ve learnt to grow a thick skin but it doesn’t stop me
I’m not good at introducing myself but I try
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I tend to only make sexual advances where it’s clear to me they are interested, I’m more into nurturing long term relationships where sex is part of that.
As others have said, sometimes things just fizzle out naturally while chatting,,I can’t recall having to say or receiving a sexual rejection on here,,but it wouldn’t bother me. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Morning OP
Rejection comes as part of fab (for me) quite often… daily…tends to be a ‘no thanks’ / ‘not for us’ / blocked / no response. I understand why people do it that way as its a fast paced world of fab haha and they no doubt have 100s of other offerings so can’t be expected to spend their entire day on rejections .. need time to focus on the ones they like.
In the real world… obviously there are less opportunities but rejection still happens… but this is just how things go…. Can’t be for everyone 
And with stopping me …. Of course it makes me think ‘oh there definitely not going to be interested’ so I don’t message… but sometimes you take a chance and it pays off…
It’s not all bad |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions.
Morning OP
Rejection comes as part of fab (for me) quite often… daily…tends to be a ‘no thanks’ / ‘not for us’ / blocked / no response. I understand why people do it that way as its a fast paced world of fab haha and they no doubt have 100s of other offerings so can’t be expected to spend their entire day on rejections .. need time to focus on the ones they like.
In the real world… obviously there are less opportunities but rejection still happens… but this is just how things go…. Can’t be for everyone
And with stopping me …. Of course it makes me think ‘oh there definitely not going to be interested’ so I don’t message… but sometimes you take a chance and it pays off…
It’s not all bad "
*they’re |
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Yes it happens, probably more recently on my singles profile.
It's life, not everyone is attracted to everyone else & that's absolutely fine.
Rejection doesn't bother me at all as long as it's done respectfully.
Mrs |
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after a 15 year relationship of it kinda get used to it my take is the amount of men that out number the women and couples the odds are stacked against so I bear that in mind and dont take it personal im just finding my feet again and gaining my confidence back redescovering my self worth after the years of toxic crap I put up with anyway off to an event next week 1st ever get myself out there hopefully be have more sucsess than sat behind a phone just be happy lifes too short |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
In person I'd have to first put myself forward
On fab it doesn't bother me if someone says no it happens |
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as someone else said, actual response back saying no thanks, rarely, read and delete, or read and no response (which really annoys me - just delete it) then quite often. but that just part of fab for a single guy.
real world, I tend to be a little more shy when I'm out, but then I've not done that for an eternity! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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I’ve read everyone’s responses but I’m out of spoons today to reply to everyone.
This post came to mind after a chat with a friend who assumed I’ve never been rejected ever during a conversation not in any way related to rejection. My curiosity was piqued about rejection in general as a result.
Thanks for sharing. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Both sexes get rejected, stood up, happens all the time! Outside of here on dating sites, but especially on here! At this moment no matter who we are meeting we have a plan of no show what to do! Then it's not a failed trip or time. Could be get shopping instead. Go cinema, go see a show, things like that. More failed meets than successful ones, so always have a back up idea |
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Few years ago now, back when I was looking to meet.
He was polite about it. Wasn’t a great feeling. It’s the first time I’ve felt short. I went from 6ft 2 to 3ft 2 in seconds.
But it happens. You just take it on the chin and move along. |
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Rejection’s interesting, isn’t it? There’s direct rejection - the simple ‘no thanks’ - and there’s indirect rejection - the fading conversation, the terse, less interested replies.
Like most people posting above, I’ve had a lot more of the latter kind on Fab. People who chatted frantically and excitedly gradually slowing it down, one side of the conversation fading away unrequited. And even beyond that - conversations that fail to turn into actually meeting up, plans to meet up disappearing into the ether with poor timing or flimsy excuses.
I think it rarely feels deliberate. More that I’m a nice idea for some people, rather than a physical reality. Day to day life gets in the way and the thrill of the idea can slowly fade.
It’s still rejection, of a sort. And sometimes the direct ‘no thanks’ might be kinder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Rejection’s interesting, isn’t it? There’s direct rejection - the simple ‘no thanks’ - and there’s indirect rejection - the fading conversation, the terse, less interested replies.
Like most people posting above, I’ve had a lot more of the latter kind on Fab. People who chatted frantically and excitedly gradually slowing it down, one side of the conversation fading away unrequited. And even beyond that - conversations that fail to turn into actually meeting up, plans to meet up disappearing into the ether with poor timing or flimsy excuses.
I think it rarely feels deliberate. More that I’m a nice idea for some people, rather than a physical reality. Day to day life gets in the way and the thrill of the idea can slowly fade.
It’s still rejection, of a sort. And sometimes the direct ‘no thanks’ might be kinder."
Is this one sided you think? Does the fader that one sees as being terse and less interested feel they are receiving the same as this it’s a viscous cycle of giving as much as you’re getting, for example? Could self reflection show one that they have a role in the slow fade or indirect rejection rather than the direct no thanks approach?
Pondering thoughts.
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By *rispyDuckMan 11 weeks ago
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We face rejection in our love lives, applying for work, invites to events etc it’s all part of life.
I’m of the mindset ‘there is always plenty more fish in the sea’ and there sure are plenty more lol.
If it won’t matter in 5yrs, don’t waste more than 5mins thinking about it  |
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It happens all the time. It’s just part of life - maybe they don’t like a picture, maybe they don’t like the text, maybe they don’t have the time at the moment. Fab doesn’t define me so I don’t take the wins or the loses as a validation or a rejection of who I am.
When it works it works well - just live for that moment and enjoy it. |
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"When was the last time you made it known you were interested in someone, and got told - no thanks - not interested?
Is rejection something that you’ve experienced more than not? Is it different for you on Fab versus off Fab?
Does rejection on Fab stop you from putting yourself forward with those you find intriguing?
Yeah, loads of questions. "
Rejection doesn't stop me. I developed thick skin over time. I can handle it. |
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I’m not really here looking for ‘more’, so the instance where I thought I’d stumbled upon that and it didn’t go anywhere was a bit ouchie.
A ‘more’ rejection hurts because there’s those feeling things involved.
But otherwise, I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, heck, I don’t want or need to be everyone’s cup of tea (who would have the time anyway  ), ultimately its strangers on a sex site, if I get rejected I’ve not lost anything so it doesn’t bother me.
I have maybe been lucky though - I only meet if I’m confident we’ll get along in person, and with a social so there’s a nice get out option if needed, but it never has been. I suspect it would sting a bit in person regardless of it being a stranger from a sex site. But being rejected by messages or whatever, nah, life’s too short. |
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"Is this one sided you think? Does the fader that one sees as being terse and less interested feel they are receiving the same as this it’s a viscous cycle of giving as much as you’re getting, for example? Could self reflection show one that they have a role in the slow fade or indirect rejection rather than the direct no thanks approach? Pondering thoughts."
I think it’s absolutely two-sided. There’s two people, so there’s two perspectives. Two sets of wants and needs that are or aren’t being met.
(I’m not trying to exclude couples from this either. In my experience, it’s usually one half of a couple doing all the chat anyway.)
I could always try to rescue/revive a fading friendship. So could the other person involved. But sometimes the signal feels pretty clear and those attempts might be unwanted.
It’s all so vague, so built on assumptions and guesswork and impressions and feelings … We never really know what’s in another’s head, do we? Asking straight out might help, but feels so blunt and brutal. |
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