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Transition Friend Zone to FWB?
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I don't have any experience of it but I reckon transitioning from friends to lovers would mean you'd need to ask the question "would you be interested in having sex with me on the following terms?"
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"What are your experiences of being able to go from the friend zone to FWB? Looking for some advice pretty please  "
If its mutual then why not. If you are both of that mindset then you just need to talk about it. I've done it and never regretted it. Just make sure that emotional attachment doesn't become too strong....unless of course that is also mutual  |
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"But how to ask that without causing offence or ruining the friendship if the answer might be no!"
If it was me I'd probably open a bottle of wine and state my case.
If she/he feels the same way everyone's happy.
If she/he feels a little disrespected and hurt that you don't want an actual relationship, just sex as a sort of add on to your friendship then it's going to get tricky. |
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"I don't have any experience of it but I reckon transitioning from friends to lovers would mean you'd need to ask the question "would you be interested in having sex with me on the following terms?"
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Romance truly isn't dead  |
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"I don't have any experience of it but I reckon transitioning from friends to lovers would mean you'd need to ask the question "would you be interested in having sex with me on the following terms?"
Romance truly isn't dead "
Lol.
Seriously though.
That's essentially what he wants. Sex without committing to a full relationship where romance might be involved. She might want that too and if so its a match made in heaven but there's no romance. |
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Seriously though.
That's essentially what he wants. Sex without committing to a full relationship where romance might be involved. She might want that too and if so its a match made in heaven but there's no romance. "
Isn't that what most in the swinging community are looking for?
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I've tried it for a few months and as good as it was it was more of a reflection of where we both were at that particular time and the benefits had the possibility of damaging what had been a completely platonic friendship up to that point.
We stepped back and picked up where we had left off in our friendship. |
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Seriously though.
That's essentially what he wants. Sex without committing to a full relationship where romance might be involved. She might want that too and if so its a match made in heaven but there's no romance.
Isn't that what most in the swinging community are looking for?
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I don't believe they are, no.
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"But how to ask that without causing offence or ruining the friendship if the answer might be no!"
That's the risk you take though unfortunately.
I will say I've lost a few male friends due to them wanting more.
Just be honest and see what happens.
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"What are your experiences of being able to go from the friend zone to FWB? Looking for some advice pretty please "
Move on to other things would be my advice.
Broaching it probably ends the friendship |
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It's not an easy thing to do especially when it is a good friend and you really don't want to ruin the friendship, for me I put for years actually saying I wanted it to be more than just friends because the friendship was to important to risk. Then one night we were chatting on messenger after she had had a couple of drinks and I just went for it and told her I wanted more thankfully so did she. I would say point out that the friendship is the mot important thing but you would like to go further and cross your fingers lol. |
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I pretty much only have sex with people who are friends. Often we may have been friends for some time. So I suppose this is an an area I can perhaps offer a little of my experience.
The issue is often not that the other person isn't attracted to you, it's that they are concerned about it damaging the friendship or the feelies developing such that it turns into something more. If it's that they aren't attracted to you then it's a no-goer, obviously, I hope.
If they are, then it comes down to being able to have the conversation. This is your friend though, have the conversation openly don't change the dynamic you have. What's more reassuring than if you can have the conversation without things changing or becoming weird?
Ultimately, I look at the friend zone as a place you put yourself in, because the sexual attraction was there, but never got expressed explicitly. If it's not reciprocated then it feels like being zoned.
I've had amazing conversations, where we've 'friend zoned' a relationship mutually for external reasons. Even when attraction is mutual, sometimes it works other times it doesn't.
If being demisexual has taught me anything it's that friendship is really important to me, but also nature is smarter than people think. If it's there and it's mutual it's going to keep resurfacing. If you can't learn to have the conversation in a positive way, whether that's with humour or otherwise - it is probably not going to work on any level. |
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By *vaRose43Woman 11 weeks ago
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Difficult one
They may already have reciprocating feelings…
What if they want more than fwb? It’s possible they could feel disrespected if you only see them as worthy of a casual thing.
Equally they could be hurt that you can’t just see them as a friend. It’s an uncomfortable feeling realising someone you thought you could be open with and trust has been hiding sexual feelings about you for some time.
Obviously the ideal answer is that they feel the same way and you end up in a wonderful fwb situationship for a while.
As for how to tell them! No idea, I’ve never been that brave. The few times it’s happened the other way around it’s ended what was a lovely friendship |
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I would say be careful.
I did this last year both talked about fwb.
All cards on the table.
What started once a month soon moved to once aweek.
The problem that become she intended to make it more official by saying let's do weekends away planning mini holidays.
She fell for me.
Men amd women are very different people ( not all women but most) will start getting more Attached Get more emotionally involved.
So all I'll say is you need to make sure to keep it controlled as they will start to more than fwb. |
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"What are your experiences of being able to go from the friend zone to FWB? Looking for some advice pretty please "
The answer is simple.
You don't and you dont get put in the freind zone to begin with.
As far as the lady in question is concerned, you're a freind, nothing more. If she was sexually attracted to you, she'd have made it clear already and you would have been having sex already. It's just how women are im afraid. Some here may poo poo that idea but I assure you, since getting out of my teens and being a a bit of a hound, I've learnt a few things. One of those big lessons is women rarely freind zone guys they are into. If she wanted it, you'd have had it already. As such I'm happy to say I've never been freindzoned yet.
This is of course purely in the context of non swingers.
So youre in that zone and now youre now wanting to change that dynamic. Whilst it's not impossible to get out of it, there's a chance that's it amd the friendship will.be over now.
Personally....I find women like assertive confident (but polite) and honest men so you can just go for it and live with the possibility that your friendship.is over. Alternatively you can stay quiet, keep the friendship as is and lie about your desire to sleep with her.
But to me that's weird. If you wanna bang someone, your not really being a freind and it can get weird.
Go for it. Own it. Accept the outcome. She deserves to know your true intentions.
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Be very careful sometimes it's probably better to stay where you are.
My friend and then FWB led me to believe she wanted more, it took me time to make my decision but when I did I gave up everything and committed 100%.
It seems it was all a game to her she just played me to get what she could, she selfishly and coldly just ran away and hid. No explanation other than I took too long to do what she wanted, she was completely unaffected didn't care one bit just moved on to the next guys. Looks like she enjoys the challenge and excitement of getting adoration, having control and pushing her limits, but then gets bored when she has it. Karma will unfortunately mean she'll end up sad and lonely, just as she's left me with no closure, but she'll upset a lot of people on the way. So be very very careful things aren't always what they seem. Be sure of what you want but be prepared to be disappointed!
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