"Would you have a fwb?what if you got attached to them then what or vice versa "
My mileage may vary here because I'm polyamorous and that happening wouldn't be an obstacle to anything, but when that happened with one of the FWBs I have currently, I just started dating her. :P We've dialled it back a bit since she met someone closer she's developing something with, so we're just FWB again.
I'd say for "monogamous" swinging, you'd probably have to establish boundaries early on to avoid upset or misunderstandings. Trying to force no feelings to ever develop is a recipe for disaster as you can't control them, so I think it's paramount to decide and agree on what will happen if and when they emerge. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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I wouldn't have a FWB as my sex life is separate from my personal life. I don't get into peoples personal life as well.
All I want is a fuck and for them to f off. Which is probably why I have got FB's that I have known for over 10 years.
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"Would you have a fwb? What if you got attached to them then what or vice versa "
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If we became attached then I would duly consider the possibility of betrothal, get down on one knee, get back up again having remembered that I first need to swiftfoot over to Mappin & Webb™ and procure a platinum band with a diamond core, before heading back to my impatient damsel and doing the needful. |
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Mine are and have all been pretty long term. I’m very much attached to them. I don’t see it as an issue. I’ll never want a proper relationship, ever. Everyone knows that from the start. I guess it’s all about the mindset. Works for me  |
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By *mf123Man 31 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
I fell once for a time it was explosive and mutual then it was gone and it took me a long time to not be insane anymore after i shamed myself with sappiness so now i stear well clear of anything more than a high five |
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"I fell once for a time it was explosive and mutual then it was gone and it took me a long time to not be insane anymore after i shamed myself with sappiness so now i stear well clear of anything more than a high five"
I better still get hugs! Love you btw  |
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By *mf123Man 31 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"I fell once for a time it was explosive and mutual then it was gone and it took me a long time to not be insane anymore after i shamed myself with sappiness so now i stear well clear of anything more than a high five
I better still get hugs! Love you btw "
like you too pat on the bum if your lucky |
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"I fell once for a time it was explosive and mutual then it was gone and it took me a long time to not be insane anymore after i shamed myself with sappiness so now i stear well clear of anything more than a high five
I better still get hugs! Love you btw like you too pat on the bum if your lucky"
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By *ucka39Man 31 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Had few in my time, we enjoyed most things more like best friends and the sex being something else, whereas each other knew and still continued with our normal life until they found a relationship and we went our separate ways
But some have come back as it didn't work out
We weren't clingy and respected each other |
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Had one for a while. It was just a nice stop for a no strings fuck on the way home from work once a week. No texting in between meets etc, no attachment. It was fun for a few months, going home to hubby well fucked on a Sunday night was such a turn on for us both. But then he told me he was falling in love with me, out of the blue, so it just had to stop. straightaway. Shame really, and kinda put me off doing anything like that again. |
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"Had one for a while. It was just a nice stop for a no strings fuck on the way home from work once a week. No texting in between meets etc, no attachment. It was fun for a few months, going home to hubby well fucked on a Sunday night was such a turn on for us both. But then he told me he was falling in love with me, out of the blue, so it just had to stop. straightaway. Shame really, and kinda put me off doing anything like that again. "
With the hindsight of what you know now, do you think you would have preferred that he'd kept the feelings to himself and carried on with things the way they were? |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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Had a number of them, some ended with feelings hurt. It can work though. You have to set some very hard boundaries and ground rules in order for it to work. Both parties have to be serious about these boundaries too. Can't have one in the mindset of 'ohhh well if we do this long enough their mind will change' or whatever. Avoid doing date-like activities together. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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Fwb is what I really prefer. Feeling are never asked for, they just happen. 
But, I don’t believe you can get emotionally attached to more than one person. (Poly people are currently throwing things at me I know) but that’s just me. I can love my friends, but romantically no, …. |
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By *lfa RomeoMan 31 weeks ago
southeast , Herts, Beds |
I had a FWBs once, lasted 4 years. Unfortunately she moved to the US so it ended.
I'm still searching for a new FWBs. Unfortunately it's not that easy
But I love the idea of FWBs and if it grows into more then fantastic |
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By *eliWoman 31 weeks ago
. |
I'm fine with that.
Yep, I'm another poly person. I don't think feelings are a bad thing. It's how they're handled, how you communicate, how you are with each other. Feelings don't necessarily mean love, it's very rare for me to fall in love, but I do grow fond of people.
I never actively look for people to date, it starts as friendship and then there's a sexual element and sometimes... there's something more.
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By *andT2023Couple 31 weeks ago
in the middle |
I am happy with my fwb situation . Everyone knows the boundaries at the outset and therefore while there are feelings those feelings will only ever be in the spirit of the situation and the expectations from the outset. We know any more cannot be accommodated. |
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By *oxy jWoman 31 weeks ago
somerset |
2 of my fwb are very long term one 30 years one 25 years both are very good friends of me n hubs no lines in the sand has ever been crossed ... others have tried but im not interested and once they show there hand its over and i move on my fwb are just very good friends yes sure theirs that extra little bit there but deffo not those sort of feelings |
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By *ornycougaWoman 31 weeks ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
Yes. It can be fantastic when both people want the same thing. I can get emotionally involved without being emotionally attached. The former is great, it hasn't - and wouldn't - tip into the latter |
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By *ripfillMan 31 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
A FWB can work and it’s about communication and openess
But what is clear when we are together it’s bliss but we both know - out side fab issues need to be kept clearly separate
Respect and trust is paramount
Objectivity counts - falling in love doesn’t |
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I had a playmate, who became a friend, then we fell for each other. I took my time to be sure she was the one, she assured me she was and we had everything going for us, but when I committed she ran away, I never gave up on her but she never cared and is still ghosting me.
I'm now building huge walls, barriers so thick no-one can get in and those thoughts in my head can't get out, she took everything, no-one will do that again. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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Nothing wrong with a fwb at all.
There will always be some form of attachment to them,the more you get to know them or spend time together sexually or non sexually its bound to happen, which again isn't a bad thing. People are only human after all.
It only becomes shit when one side out of the blue makes zero effort and totally disregards the other person's feelings and leaves them to question everything about themselves and take no responsibility for their behaviour.
Bar that it's all good usually
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My fwb and I put equally if not more emphasis on the friendship as we do on the benefits.
We trust each other implicitly both in body and mind through good times and bad.
We couldn't do that without some form of attachment and speaking from my side she is a very special person and I care for and about her.
We know exactly where we stand with each other. |
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By *ltrMan 31 weeks ago
sheffield |
Said this before me and ex had a younger fwb things went on for months she asked if it would be OK to meet him alone while I was at work and phone me while they was at it . I was happy with this as a one off but it turned into twice a week then she announced she had fallen for him and was leaving. 3 years later she's single as he cheated on her and left her and I wouldn't have her back even if it ment the only fun I had was with a hoover  |
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4 years ago I had several FWB. As time went on one became the main guy, feeling grew on both sides, 2 years ago we both ended our vanilla marriages and set up home together. It wasn’t what we were looking for but it’s been absolutely the best thing. We both enjoy this lifestyle but it doesn’t detract from our relationship. |
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"4 years ago I had several FWB. As time went on one became the main guy, feeling grew on both sides, 2 years ago we both ended our vanilla marriages and set up home together. It wasn’t what we were looking for but it’s been absolutely the best thing. We both enjoy this lifestyle but it doesn’t detract from our relationship. "
That sounds perfect and was what I had hoped I'd found. I'm happy for you it's nice to hear of someone finding their ideal partner. |
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"Bump!! 😇
You're definitely worth a bump. "
Ha ha thank you!!! 
I have a fwb but based on one thing I did, he decided it's the deal breaker to not wanting a relationship with me but wants to continue on doing the fwb for another while..... but I feel it's best to finish the fwb with him now and concentrate on our friendship instead!! He's a good guy and I want us to be friends but, in order for it to work, we can't be fwb as well. We do need to talk about things but need some space first before I do. |
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"I don't understand this friends with benefits thing, someone will have to explain how does it matter the sex any better?
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Because each person knows something about the other’s body and what turns you on. Plus, if there are things you want to try, you’ve got someone on hand you trust. |
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"Bump!! 😇
You're definitely worth a bump.
Ha ha thank you!!!
I have a fwb but based on one thing I did, he decided it's the deal breaker to not wanting a relationship with me but wants to continue on doing the fwb for another while..... but I feel it's best to finish the fwb with him now and concentrate on our friendship instead!! He's a good guy and I want us to be friends but, in order for it to work, we can't be fwb as well. We do need to talk about things but need some space first before I do. "
Sounds fair enough.
Always good to talk.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I don't understand this friends with benefits thing, someone will have to explain how does it matter the sex any better?
Because each person knows something about the other’s body and what turns you on. Plus, if there are things you want to try, you’ve got someone on hand you trust. "
I have fuck buddys some I have known for over 13 years for that, I don't need FWB. |
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"Bump!! 😇
You're definitely worth a bump.
Ha ha thank you!!!
I have a fwb but based on one thing I did, he decided it's the deal breaker to not wanting a relationship with me but wants to continue on doing the fwb for another while..... but I feel it's best to finish the fwb with him now and concentrate on our friendship instead!! He's a good guy and I want us to be friends but, in order for it to work, we can't be fwb as well. We do need to talk about things but need some space first before I do.
Sounds fair enough.
Always good to talk. "
We didn't talk things through properly to begin with, only realising recently that he's wanted more than fwb but then I did something that he decided was a deal-breaker which was a bit unfair I thought but we need to talk it out and decide if being just friends is where we want to go or whether we need to just walk away and put it down to experience.....  😥 |
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"Bump!! 😇
You're definitely worth a bump.
Ha ha thank you!!!
I have a fwb but based on one thing I did, he decided it's the deal breaker to not wanting a relationship with me but wants to continue on doing the fwb for another while..... but I feel it's best to finish the fwb with him now and concentrate on our friendship instead!! He's a good guy and I want us to be friends but, in order for it to work, we can't be fwb as well. We do need to talk about things but need some space first before I do.
Sounds fair enough.
Always good to talk.
We didn't talk things through properly to begin with, only realising recently that he's wanted more than fwb but then I did something that he decided was a deal-breaker which was a bit unfair I thought but we need to talk it out and decide if being just friends is where we want to go or whether we need to just walk away and put it down to experience..... 😥"
It sounds awkward.
Buy it will end up where it needs to
I'm sure you'll get plenty if offers on here.
You do look delicious |
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"I don't understand this friends with benefits thing, someone will have to explain how does it matter the sex any better?
Because each person knows something about the other’s body and what turns you on. Plus, if there are things you want to try, you’ve got someone on hand you trust.
I have fuck buddys some I have known for over 13 years for that, I don't need FWB. "
Good on you. It’s not for everyone. People want different things. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Would you have a fwb?what if you got attached to them then what or vice versa "
It just happened to me recently with a lady I have known for years. We were school friends, the became attached in '92, we then went our separate ways until about a coupe of year ago. I have now lost a dear friend.
“Why do men think you can pick love up and re-light it like a candle? Women know when love is over.”
― Dylan Thomas |
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By *emma200Woman 26 weeks ago
Warwickshire |
I thought for a while I wanted a Fwb but I’ve had a fb for 2 years, outside sex we don’t have that much interaction apart from the odd message. Sex with him is very regular and amazing and even though there are no feelings involved he will always be in my life |
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"Would you have a fwb?what if you got attached to them then what or vice versa "
I have an fwb, I like her very much, she is funny, lovely and sexy. There has to be a connection or the chemistry just isnt there. There have to be rules though and boundaries set, we both have lives independant of Fab and we should respect that. We can share the good times and experience our fantasy life without commitment and if / when the sex fizzles out then we can still go on being friends. |
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I am very lucky to have two polyamorous fwb's, so our attachments are diluted in intensity, which is important to us, as it keeps us on the same page. Five years on and our close friendship will always come first, basking in sexual pleasure is an afterthought |
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