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What you never hear

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By *layfullsam OP   Man 12 weeks ago

Solihull

Announced over loudspeakers at the supermarket (or any other loudspeaker/tannoy events)

Supermarket.. oi, yummy mummy with the tight top in the bakery aisle, get your baps out

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By *layfullsam OP   Man 12 weeks ago

Solihull

Football stadium…. Ffs wanker, you’re shite my granny would’ve scored that

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By *agatoXXXMan 12 weeks ago

Mordor

Supermarket: "Code Blue, Code Blue - Report your underwear status!"

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By *a LunaWoman 12 weeks ago

South

“The woman with the annoying child running amok in the bread aisle.

Those breadsticks he has up his nostrils better be going in your basket!”

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By *batMan 12 weeks ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"The train arriving at Platform three is an hour late, vastly overpriced, has dirty toilets and is full of litter. Vomit on the floor can be found in carriage three."

Gbat

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By *layfullsam OP   Man 12 weeks ago

Solihull

To the Woman in the vegetable aisle, that’s a marrow not a sex toy no batteries are required

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By *ilk_TrayMan 12 weeks ago

Dunstable

“Attention Shoppers, Aisle 6 is now open…. Haha Only Joking you silly sausage” ??

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By *rofessor ElementalMan 12 weeks ago

Durham

Why did the public announcement go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues with being heard!

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By *odgers and PartingCouple 12 weeks ago

edinburgh

Spillage at the back door

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By *layfullsam OP   Man 12 weeks ago

Solihull

Mavis stop day dreaming and put the Cumberland sausage down

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By *odgers and PartingCouple 12 weeks ago

edinburgh

Whoever’s manhandling the peaches stop it, they’re all bruised!

Dx

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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

To all parents with screaming children, please park them in the soundproof room provided at the entrance.

To all parents allowing your offspring to race around like it's a playground, it's not. It's a supermarket. Leave them at home if you can't supervise them properly.

To all old people, please try not to visit during office lunchbreaks and directly after work hours. You get in the way.

To all office workers. Stop being asshats.

To anyone who can actually hear these announcements, welcome to the crazy House!!

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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell


"Whoever’s manhandling the peaches stop it, they’re all bruised!

Dx"

It's always the bloody kids who work there! They chuck the fruit and veg about without heed!!

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