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You're elected PM
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I would make a terrible PM, look what happened to Boris over partygate!
I'd make partygate look like a Sunday school outing, Number 10 would look like 6am on the Terrace at Space Ibiza.
I would also look worse that boris when being questioned
Errrrr I don't recall being at any party
No really I'm telling the truth the last 3 days are a blur |
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"You get to make some unpopular laws this week, whilst we're all in shock.
Perhaps something stronger against middle lane hoggers? Or something unpopular?"
Just unpopular laws?
I want to make popular laws, like prosecuting every bastard who profiteered from covid, from brexit, and who bring racism and xenophobia into politics, and everyday life.
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By *hoirCouple 14 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.
Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.
Remove devolved power from all member states
Lower the minimum wage
Tax all profits of companies even higher
A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax
More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.
Scrapping of all mail ballots
Reintroduction of Peelian principles
Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.
The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell
Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.
Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.
Just a few things.
C |
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Ban the checkouts at B&M bargains loaded with cheap vodka, king size Rizzla & scratch cards. it’s disgusting.
In fact I would go further, I would make a new law that taxes these kinds of dealers in direct relation to local crime and poverty. |
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First, total ban on flavoured vapes.
Second, make every electric scooter have a licence plate and be insured. Anyone found with8a plate after say 4 weeks, instant confiscation of scooter.
Third, make cannabis legal to sell. Regulation would raise tens of millions in revenue, and take this money from criminals. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.
Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.
Remove devolved power from all member states
Lower the minimum wage
Tax all profits of companies even higher
A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax
More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.
Scrapping of all mail ballots
Reintroduction of Peelian principles
Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.
The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell
Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.
Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.
Just a few things.
C"
Moderate stance in the East Midlands one sees |
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"
Third, make cannabis legal to sell. Regulation would raise tens of millions in revenue, and take this money from criminals. "
B&M bargains would love that.
Would you legalise crack and meth too ? B&M could stock a nice range of spoons and syringes alongside the scratch cards |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Increase salaries of NHS nurses, police and fire brigade by a minimum 25% of what they currently have.
A mandatory goldfish for every house hold in the Uk, and compulsory Sunday lunches on a Sunday.
Shop closure on a Sunday, and all shops close at 6 pm during the week. |
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By *lan157Man 14 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
End all those electric scooter trials and start prosecuting people who use any stand up scooter on the road. It's to dangerous and children die on the roads when they are used . |
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lock up all the ASB youths for 6 months after each offence!
make chocolate free on Fridays
Make Monday working optional
Increase weekends to 3 days - and you have to keep the same pay!
18 yr olds have to get out of bed by 9.30 am every day in the holiday - by law  |
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"Plastic straws to be mandatory with milkshakes.
"
Isn't this supposed to be a thread for silly unpopular ideas? It's not the sensible solutions for a brighter Britain thread.
(BTW we'd both totally vote for that policy) |
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Mandatory cross dressing minimum 2 days a week for everyone. If you walk five miles in somebody elses shoes etc...
All who have ever screeched about "but men in dresses going into ladies toilets" are not allowed to use ANY public toilet on their cross dressing days. They can experience the pee running down their leg and into their shoes... |
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"I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.
Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.
Remove devolved power from all member states
Lower the minimum wage
Tax all profits of companies even higher
A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax
More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.
Scrapping of all mail ballots
Reintroduction of Peelian principles
Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.
The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell
Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.
Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.
Just a few things.
C"
WHEN YOU STEP UP , YOUR GETTING MY VOTE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT  |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Cyclists and Caravans can only travel between 10pm and 5am.
Greggs to do the Festive Bake all year.
Ban disposable BBQs
No more houses to be painted grey, only white or pastel colours allowed.
All wasps to be converted in to bees
Bank Holiday Mondays to become Bank Holiday Fridays
Calendar to change to 13 x 4 week months. The new month to be called FABruary and nestle between July and August.
Anyone saying 'lush' to be imprisoned for life.
The England football manager to be an elected position.
A minimum portion size to be established in all restaurants.
Middle lane hoggers to have their driving licence torn up
All windfarms to have the turbines replaced with those pretty looking whirly things they sell in seaside towns
Wetherspoons to offer dental treatment to all their customers.
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Cheese to be banned
Coffee to be banned
Cake allowed to those who must on Sundays only
Sunday roast followed by Sunday tea of either cold meat leftover with salad Or
Tinned Salmon with vinegar and salad.
Tinned strawberries and ice cream as pudding.
Cadburys Dairy Milk to be a basic daily right.
Cyclists to be instantly electrocuted for going through red lights
D*unk and /other substances morons after the pubs shut to be rounded up and dumped in a field with no facilities under armed guard.
Vapes and cigarettes to be illegal, minimum £1000 fine for possession
Crocs to be banned
Loud music from cars banned
Cricket mandatory in schools
Electric scooters banned
Instant repatriation of illegal economic migrants (legal welcome)
Animal cruelty to be punished by public flogging with a raffle held for those wishing to deliver said punishment
Those who are physically able to work but choose to be on the dole to work in social roles such as litter collection and general works.
Small fraction of my polices.
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By *bi HaiveMan 14 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"cheese is immediately illegal."
Say what???? 
Make that celery and I'm in.
All MP's have to dress in fancy dress each day in the commons. Theme to be decided randomly by someone who didn't win on the lottery each week.
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Under pants and socks to be prohibited
Boris Johnson, Nigel Farrage, Michael Gove and Jacob Rees Mogg the first to be sent to Rwanda.
All those employed in the care of the elderly receive a minimum salary of £25,000 per annum.
Exercise duty on tobacco raised by 100%
The tax on beer wine and spirits to be raised by 25%.
Tax relief given to those purchasing health insurance.
Vat on luxury goods to be raised to 50%.
The pension triple lock abolished and replaced with a CPI rise only.
Apprenticeships and indentured training mandatory for all those in the 16 - 25 age group who are not already in full time education.
State benefits to compose of one payment to cover housing, food, utilities and property tax plus 10% for ancillary living costs.
Greggs to be limited to selling products with a maximum calorie count of 250 kcal s
All retired service personnel to receive a gratitude payment of £10k per annum.
Liz Truss to be on the second flight to Rwanda.
The House of Lords and all hereditary titles to be abolished and replaced with a House of Representatives.
MPs will be banned from having other employment during their term of office. Their focus will and should be on constituency work.
The honours system to be scrapped and replaced with well nothing.
VAR scrapped.
All Wimbledon tennis courts to have retractable roofs installed.
A full review of the train network in this country and potentially becoming state owned.
Similar review into the energy and communications provision in the UK.
Independence referenda for all countries in the union. This would be a once in every 50 years event and will save a lot of moaning especially from the Jocks.
The Royal Family. A tricky one this and will provoke a shed load of emotion. However a full independent review to take place on the economic benefits to the exchequer of continuing with the status quo. Once verified the nation would vote on the relative merits of the institution.
National service to be introduced to all those over 25 not in full time education, employment and fit to do so. The service period will be a minimum of 3 years.
Those starting a small business will at the end of the first two years of continuing trading receive a payment equal to 50% of all taxes levied on the business during that period.
All prison buildings more than 50 years old will be sold to developers and new modern prisons built with the proceeds.
Any company that keeps a customer hanging on the telephone in dealing with customer service issue for longer than 10 minutes will receive a fixed penalty notice of £100.
The instruction, briefing and implementation of the above would, if my fab cabinet started work at 8am take us to dinner time. Lunch would be bought by each member of the Fab cabinet from the little Italian cafe next to the MoD. The tea fund would be administered by the chief secretary to the treasury and we would all take turns to make a brew. We would have a 30 minute dinner break before starting again at 1230.
I am pondering on the afternoon shift and will get back to you once I have had my chicken salad balm cake and mug of tea.
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Make it law that any lane hoggers can be shunted to the hard shoulder and have to pay for damages to all vehicles then banned from driving for life.
Get rid of cycle lanes. You want them, you pay tax on your cycle
Any male seen with their trousers halfway down their arse will have them pulled all the way down and whipped then lobbed into a male prison so they can find out what it really means to wear your trousers like that… |
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By *abioMan 14 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Oh we being serious now!!!!
Okay……
First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!
Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!
Loo rolls put on correctly!!!
Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)
Boob tubes…. Banned!!!
Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!
Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!
Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights…. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Oh we being serious now!!!!
Okay……
First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!
Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!
Loo rolls put on correctly!!!
Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)
Boob tubes…. Banned!!!
Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!
Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!
Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights…. "
Fabio I would like to appoint you to my cabinet as your policy agenda sits in line with mine. Clearly banning novelty songs will sound the demise of cold play those Sheeran and Capalidi Guys. The long haul adult flights are in the kings speech.
I was thinking minister without portfolio?
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"An Australian based score system
Free the nipple
More nude beaches "
The Aussie based score system relates to wickets before runs rather than runs before wickets.....correct?
If so it’s a resounding no. Unthinkable young lady! |
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"An Australian based score system
Free the nipple
More nude beaches
The Aussie based score system relates to wickets before runs rather than runs before wickets.....correct?
If so it’s a resounding no. Unthinkable young lady!"
Unthinkable?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
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"Oh we being serious now!!!!
Okay……
First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!
Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!
Loo rolls put on correctly!!!
Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)
Boob tubes…. Banned!!!
Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!
Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!
Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights…. "
If only you had of left the pineapple & cheese on a stick alone. I could have got behind all other policies |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Extra bank holiday in October, all mobile networks to be switched off at certain times of the day,all reality tv shows to be banned, and stupid people to be locked away for good. |
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"
Boob tubes…. Banned!!!
"
And what, pray tell, is wrong with boob tubes? Easily pulled dow, easily pulled up (when the police pull up next to you at make out point), and seldom worn with a bra. I see no negatives. |
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Proportional representation introduction immediately. Immediately control borders, deport humanely immediately back to France. Abolished house of Lords. Build thousands of homes for all. Introduction of limited privatisation of nhs services ie ambulance service. |
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