Woke Ozzie's, so called animal rights experts are gleeful because a koala sanctuary in a place called Queensland, famous for growing bananas and being called banana benders by more sophisticated Ozzie's. Everyone from Putin to Taylor Swift has cuddled a koala bear there. Bears deprived of cuddles in animal cruelty.
It's all over the news |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!"
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”. |
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By *cotsguyyMan 34 weeks ago
Belfast and Fife |
"Woke Ozzie's, so called animal rights experts are gleeful because a koala sanctuary in a place called Queensland, famous for growing bananas and being called banana benders by more sophisticated Ozzie's. Everyone from Putin to Taylor Swift has cuddled a koala bear there. Bears deprived of cuddles in animal cruelty.
It's all over the news"
What have they done? 
I know it's in the title but you seemed to get distracted describing Queensland and it's relationship with bananas to finish your telling of the news. |
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By *aizyWoman 34 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”."
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered. |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered."
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other. |
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"Woke Ozzie's, so called animal rights experts are gleeful because a koala sanctuary in a place called Queensland, famous for growing bananas and being called banana benders by more sophisticated Ozzie's. Everyone from Putin to Taylor Swift has cuddled a koala bear there. Bears deprived of cuddles in animal cruelty.
It's all over the news
What have they done?
I know it's in the title but you seemed to get distracted describing Queensland and it's relationship with bananas to finish your telling of the news. "
Further distraction:
'banana bender' is what Australians call people from the state of Queensland. It's a mild insult, in the vein of "finding the Ws in the M&M factory" which I believe is used against Floridians in the US.
Famously, the premier (think first minister) of Queensland once stated that they would not adopt daylight savings along with all the other eastern states, because it would "fade the curtains and confuse the cows"
Their numberplates read "the smart state" for many years, and there was considerable guffawing. At least from New South Welshmen - we have a reputation of being a bit up ourselves. |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered.
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other."
you just described the generic fab single man  |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered.
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other."
With the same hand???? Dirty bastards!!!! |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered.
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other.
you just described the generic fab single man "
Proof of evolution. |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered.
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other.
With the same hand???? Dirty bastards!!!! "
Separate hands. They cock it back with the left and fire with the right. |
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"Koalas technically aren't bears.
They’re too thick to be bears.
What have you got against cute little Koalas? This sounds personal!
I read a thread about how useless koalas are and now I hate them. I don’t think I can post Reddit links so just google “koalas are the worst”.
Nope, ain't doing it, not having my idealised thoughts of Koalas shattered.
Fairs. I felt like that when I found out all monkeys really do is wank and throw shit at each other.
With the same hand???? Dirty bastards!!!!
Separate hands. They cock it back with the left and fire with the right."
This made me snigger more than it should!! |
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"No mention of them poor 'drop bears'being deprived of cuddles though???
Seems a bit unfair 
Drop bears don't ask permission for a cuddle! "
And Koalas don’t ask permission for sex the horrible little bastards. |
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By *ark73XXXMan 34 weeks ago
North Staffs/South Cheshire |
"Woke Ozzie's, so called animal rights experts are gleeful because a koala sanctuary in a place called Queensland, famous for growing bananas and being called banana benders by more sophisticated Ozzie's. Everyone from Putin to Taylor Swift has cuddled a koala bear there. Bears deprived of cuddles in animal cruelty.
It's all over the news"
You don’t say what they’ve done?
You shouldn’t cuddle koalas because they get chlamydia - nothing to do with being “woke”. |
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By *orny PTMan 34 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Hang on, I've just had a weird thought.
In the Aussie pox clinics do they ask, "Have you slept with any partners lately, if so how many, what sex, did you use condoms*?", then, "Oh I forgot, any koala contact lately?"
* have you seen the Aussie ad for condoms? She's a walking, talking prophylactic thesaurus! |
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By *batMan 34 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Woke Ozzie's, so called animal rights experts are gleeful because a koala sanctuary in a place called Queensland, famous for growing bananas and being called banana benders by more sophisticated Ozzie's"
Tom Tom,
You got confused after “because.”
You segued into something else but forgot to come back.
This’ll be all over the Fab news!
Gbat |
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