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Recovering From a Narcissist
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"I'm currently in trauma focused CBT, not soley for that reason but it's one of the reasons. In the scheme of things, it wasn't as bad as some people I have encountered but everyones circumstances, trauma and experiences are different and while people are quick to say "it wasn't that bad", no it wasn't that bad but to me, it was, it changed the way I looked at people, changed how I am as a person, I don't really want to go into details about it but it definitely changed my life. " Thank you. My experience shaped a lot of qho I am today, the distinct lack of trust I have for humans as a whole, and also, how I feel about myself. It gets better, right? | |||
"I'm currently in trauma focused CBT, not soley for that reason but it's one of the reasons. In the scheme of things, it wasn't as bad as some people I have encountered but everyones circumstances, trauma and experiences are different and while people are quick to say "it wasn't that bad", no it wasn't that bad but to me, it was, it changed the way I looked at people, changed how I am as a person, I don't really want to go into details about it but it definitely changed my life. Thank you. My experience shaped a lot of qho I am today, the distinct lack of trust I have for humans as a whole, and also, how I feel about myself. It gets better, right?" I'm still early days at the moment, ask me again in 6 months lol | |||
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"I don’t think recovering is a thing, always a bit wary about people " It's not something you get over easily if at all | |||
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"Strange one, to be asking on here, but I'm interested in chatting with others that have been victims of narcissistic behaviour in previous relationships. Unable to really talk to anyone in my vanilla life about it. Exs eh! " Glad you are out of an uneccesary situation. Who diagnosed your ex ? | |||
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"Strange one, to be asking on here, but I'm interested in chatting with others that have been victims of narcissistic behaviour in previous relationships. Unable to really talk to anyone in my vanilla life about it. Exs eh! Glad you are out of an uneccesary situation. Who diagnosed your ex ? " There are so few diagnosed narcissists, one reason being that they don’t think there is anything wrong with them. So why would they seek help? | |||
"Strange one, to be asking on here, but I'm interested in chatting with others that have been victims of narcissistic behaviour in previous relationships. Unable to really talk to anyone in my vanilla life about it. Exs eh! Glad you are out of an uneccesary situation. Who diagnosed your ex ? There are so few diagnosed narcissists, one reason being that they don’t think there is anything wrong with them. So why would they seek help?" I went into business once with an introverted narcissist, I’m pretty strong willed but he still got to me, And one guy that worked with him for several years was absolutely ruined it was heartbreaking his confidence has completely gone and he had all these compensating personality traits. He’s out now, I keep in touch I don’t think he will ever recover. | |||
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"I'm currently in trauma focused CBT, not soley for that reason but it's one of the reasons. In the scheme of things, it wasn't as bad as some people I have encountered but everyones circumstances, trauma and experiences are different and while people are quick to say "it wasn't that bad", no it wasn't that bad but to me, it was, it changed the way I looked at people, changed how I am as a person, I don't really want to go into details about it but it definitely changed my life. " I feel like this too. Even years later I have to remind myself just because others had it worse doesn't mean what I went through wasn't horrific to me and that my trauma is valid | |||
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"I don’t think recovering is a thing, always a bit wary about people It's not something you get over easily if at all" I don’t know if it will, I hate that I’m so cautious but, can’t help it | |||
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"It depends how far you fell, in my case I had a wonderful relationship with a beautiful woman, who I met away from Fab, though she was already on here. I guess I should have heeded her warnings, she regularly told me she could just walk away without a care if she got bored, I didn't believe her. She constantly pushed for me to commit to her fully, it took me time to make the biggest decision of my life, I gradually gave up more and more for her. Don't get me wrong we appeared to have a fabulous relationship, I would have and still would do anything for her, I never noticed the more I committed the more she moved away, isolating me from her friends, but when I made the decision and committed 100% she just gave up and walked away. She blamed me for taking too long and all sorts of excuses, then we went on holiday so I thought everything was working out, but then ghosted me within a week of returning. She came back briefly over Christmas, after falling out with her latest fella, from Fab, giving me hope by saying take it slowly see how it goes, but then within weeks ran away again. I tried so hard to stay in touch, she's now blocked me everywhere, is telling lies about me to appear to be the victim which constantly hurts me. I lost my friends, destroyed my marriage and have ruined my life, I doubt I'll ever get back what I had. Don't underestimate the devastation of being hurt like that, I ended up needing the Samaritans! I can't say she's a narcissist, but she has some of the traits, of course she will never accept that, it's always someone elses fault. There's a beautiful side to her that I still miss and if that was the real her, I'd take her back tomorrow, but it was only one sided, I now sadly don't think she ever had any feelings for me, she was telling the truth she really doesn't care, she just appears to enjoy the challenge of meeting and controlling a new guy, then moving on without remorse. So I can't answer about recovery I have lost the ability to trust anyone now, I'm still living a nightmare with hugely conflicting emotions every day. " Was this a relationship that was additional to your marriage? | |||
"It depends how far you fell, in my case I had a wonderful relationship with a beautiful woman, who I met away from Fab, though she was already on here. I guess I should have heeded her warnings, she regularly told me she could just walk away without a care if she got bored, I didn't believe her. She constantly pushed for me to commit to her fully, it took me time to make the biggest decision of my life, I gradually gave up more and more for her. Don't get me wrong we appeared to have a fabulous relationship, I would have and still would do anything for her, I never noticed the more I committed the more she moved away, isolating me from her friends, but when I made the decision and committed 100% she just gave up and walked away. She blamed me for taking too long and all sorts of excuses, then we went on holiday so I thought everything was working out, but then ghosted me within a week of returning. She came back briefly over Christmas, after falling out with her latest fella, from Fab, giving me hope by saying take it slowly see how it goes, but then within weeks ran away again. I tried so hard to stay in touch, she's now blocked me everywhere, is telling lies about me to appear to be the victim which constantly hurts me. I lost my friends, destroyed my marriage and have ruined my life, I doubt I'll ever get back what I had. Don't underestimate the devastation of being hurt like that, I ended up needing the Samaritans! I can't say she's a narcissist, but she has some of the traits, of course she will never accept that, it's always someone elses fault. There's a beautiful side to her that I still miss and if that was the real her, I'd take her back tomorrow, but it was only one sided, I now sadly don't think she ever had any feelings for me, she was telling the truth she really doesn't care, she just appears to enjoy the challenge of meeting and controlling a new guy, then moving on without remorse. So I can't answer about recovery I have lost the ability to trust anyone now, I'm still living a nightmare with hugely conflicting emotions every day. Was this a relationship that was additional to your marriage?" Yes they were friends and I was her FWB so it gets complicated, plus that's why it took me a while to fully commit I had to be sure.  | |||
