FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you meet ANYONE new in your life?
How do you meet ANYONE new in your life?
Jump to: Newest in thread
If you cannot speak to anyone whilst you are 'on duty' in any job.
If you can't approach anyone in
the street.( even picking up the beautiful lace hanky they dropped )
If people take all advances as a threat and think you are a creep or report you to someone.
How far are we from Minory Report ? Will you soon be done for thinking?
How the hell do you meet someone new today?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We could all take the dog approach, wear a harness that says.
Friendly
Friendly but does like other humans
Anxious
Don’t talk to ( will never shut up )
Scared
Or we could just put people’s mental disorders on there and then it depends how big your bollocks are, if you want to interact with said person.
The mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Talking to people tends to work for me. Show a bit of interest in them.
The easiest ways to meet people are when you do an activity that means you have no alternative but to spend time with people and chat. Doesn’t matter whether it is golf, a ramblers club, bridge, local am-dram or tiddlywinks, a shared activity gets you talking to people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am naturally someone who likes being alone. Happy in my own company but I am also happy just saying hello to someone.
You can approach people in the street if you are genuine about it - “Hey, you dropped your lace hanky. Here it is.” generally doesn’t get peoples defences up.
Be natural and people will respond. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol."
If we are returning to the 80's / 90's approach.
I'd just like to say, nice tits. Fancy a fuck ?
  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
|
Film your interactions, say you’re an “influencer” on whatever is the social media app currently in vogue, and people will only be too happy to engage with you in this world of attention seeking narcissism.
Right, solved. Next question. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol.
If we are returning to the 80's / 90's approach.
I'd just like to say, nice tits. Fancy a fuck ?
"
Only if you're buying my drinks all night and a bag of chips on the way home. Lol
Oh those were the days lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol.
If we are returning to the 80's / 90's approach.
I'd just like to say, nice tits. Fancy a fuck ?
Only if you're buying my drinks all night and a bag of chips on the way home. Lol
Oh those were the days lol "
No problem. I just need to find somewhere we can drink all night, get chips and a bus home and still have change from £20  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally I just talk to people in whatever situation I'm in.
What I didn't do when I had access to it, was use information that someone could legitimately assume I wouldn't, to contact them after we'd had a brief interchange or make them in any way feel vulnerable. I feel that isn't the way to start a friendship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Bring back village hall discos and youth clubs !
My daughter met her partner on Tinder
My son met his wife at school
But it gets harder and harder to meet especially with social media pressing the personal fear button weekly -
Thank goodness for Fab this platform is liberating |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
|
"Bring back village hall discos and youth clubs !
My daughter met her partner on Tinder
My son met his wife at school
But it gets harder and harder to meet especially with social media pressing the personal fear button weekly -
Thank goodness for Fab this platform is liberating "
Aah yes, the village hall discos and Friday night youth club. The good old days when my friends and I definitely got up to no good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 22 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Even if you initially meet someone online virtually, there's still a right way and a wrong way to do so.
There's huge differences between making first contact via a site like this, or any dating app, where people are proactively seeking contact and just hitting on someone out of the blue via social media or using an email address/phone number obtained somehow.
There's no end of ways to meet people in the real world and online. It's how you make that first move that determines whether you come across as a decent, normal human being or someone to potentially be wary of. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Small everyday interactions, like small-talk at the bus stop etc, have been shown to have a big impact on our feelings of wellbeing and happiness. And most people like some interaction.
Going to a regular group activity, like a choir or whatever, is a really good way to get to know people over a longer time period without the pressure of 'conversation' cos you have the shared activity as the focus.
Other than that, just chill out and smile and be open to casual chat without being paranoid about it. Start small. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We could all take the dog approach, wear a harness that says.
Friendly
Friendly but does like other humans
Anxious
Don’t talk to ( will never shut up )
Scared
Or we could just put people’s mental disorders on there and then it depends how big your bollocks are, if you want to interact with said person.
The mr "
That's not a bad idea I'm going to think about this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Film your interactions, say you’re an “influencer” on whatever is the social media app currently in vogue, and people will only be too happy to engage with you in this world of attention seeking narcissism.
Right, solved. Next question. "
That had me laughing out loud. Well done Willy ...... i'm getting a camera pronto! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agatoXXXMan 22 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"we could just put people’s mental disorders on there and then it depends how big your bollocks are, if you want to interact with said person.
The mr "
I'd need an awfully big harness to get them all on.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?"
It's probably just pretty privilege letting me get away with being autistic as heck. But I usually just word vomit straight at someone if I already speak to them casually and find something about them particularly striking or interesting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
|
"…
How the hell do you meet someone new today?
"
I kind of know who I can and can’t approach. Thankfully the people I wouldn’t go near show signs.
I just say hello. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?"
Given the above scenario. Missed bus and its cold.
"Would you like to get a coffee and wait for the bus. I know a place just around the corner"
I would offer my coat. But after my post about chivalry a few weeks ago. I'd just assume now the ladies could handle the cold just the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?"
Hey there baby, I noticed our gaze meeting across the pet food aisle. I wonder if you’d care to join me for a Babycham and some pickled whelks? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?
Hey there baby, I noticed our gaze meeting across the pet food aisle. I wonder if you’d care to join me for a Babycham and some pickled whelks? "
.... and the labrador wagged its tail and licked its lips. You've pulled! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?
Hey there baby, I noticed our gaze meeting across the pet food aisle. I wonder if you’d care to join me for a Babycham and some pickled whelks? "
Lead the way! rainbow dick ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need to clarify what I meant ......
There are quite a few replies along the lines of ..... ' Oh i just talk to people.' .... Well me too BUT .... that's not what I meant.
What I meant was. How do you get past ..... Oh the bus is late isn't it. Yes and it's cold.
To ..... fucking hell you are good to look at and nice to talk to fancy a swift half in the Dog n Duck and exchange numbers.
Anyone can talk to someone but HOW do you make the approach?"
I don't know, I've forgotten. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"By ignoring all you wrote and just be nice. 
And there we have it ........ EVERYTHING is okay as long as you are nice. I'm not sure this has been thought through fully."
Oh its been thought through, overthinking stuff such as what you wrote about making the approach and such just puts tension in the air, if you like someone and fancy a drink, just ask them if they fancy a drink, whats the worst that can happen, they say 'no thanks'... Thank them for their time and move on, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alcon77Man 22 weeks ago
under the sun & the moon |
"If you cannot speak to anyone whilst you are 'on duty' in any job.
If you can't approach anyone in
the street.( even picking up the beautiful lace hanky they dropped )
If people take all advances as a threat and think you are a creep or report you to someone.
How far are we from Minory Report ? Will you soon be done for thinking?
How the hell do you meet someone new today?
"
Through the friends of friends method?
People introduce you because the mutual acquaintance thinks you can have things in common.
Not necessarily romantically speaking even..I got some good friends that I've met this way.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's down to where in the region you live, it's so easy around here, move to the Valleys the houses are cheap and so are the sheep
I'll be there now, in a minute."
Baaaabera and maaaary basically pay me now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's down to where in the region you live, it's so easy around here, move to the Valleys the houses are cheap and so are the sheep
I'll be there now, in a minute.
Baaaabera and maaaary basically pay me now. "
"Who's coat is that jacket?"
I've got some awesome mates in Wales. Really need to get to visit them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol.
If we are returning to the 80's / 90's approach.
I'd just like to say, nice tits. Fancy a fuck ?
Only if you're buying my drinks all night and a bag of chips on the way home. Lol
Oh those were the days lol
No problem. I just need to find somewhere we can drink all night, get chips and a bus home and still have change from £20 "
Wetherspoons lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If your talking just friendship I can do that easily. Work and hobbies I make new friends. I'm a foodie so always trying new places and people say oh I'll come with you next time or I ask them. Im very good at the friend zone, it's where I live. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I find it very easy to talk to strangers, but very difficult to form /maintain friendships... I watch other people do it and marvel "
I look at the media representation of friends and friendship and wonder where they got the impression that everyone has at least three very good friends, usually more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So many replies indicate that people just read the title.
Yes there are pubs.
Yes there are clubs.
Yes there are smiles
Yes there is work ..
Yes there volunteering ........
But as there are so many social and legal barriers now to approaching people, how do you get past that ?
In my day you stated your case and no one got accused of inappropriate behaviour or arrested or cancelled or shunned as a pariah
I never asked if pubs still exist. Never asked if you can go out with your sisters mate......
HOW do you approach people and state your case ? or do you wait for four years taking a step closer each day eventually sitting next to them for lunch and then wait another four years to touch them ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you cannot speak to anyone whilst you are 'on duty' in any job.
If you can't approach anyone in
the street.( even picking up the beautiful lace hanky they dropped )
If people take all advances as a threat and think you are a creep or report you to someone.
How far are we from Minory Report ? Will you soon be done for thinking?
How the hell do you meet someone new today?
"
Just a thought: Hiding won't help. Lol! Whether it's your profile or under the duvet.
I'm neurodivergent and have to make the effort to remind myself that staying in my comfort zone in my flat alone under my duvet with streaming/screens won't do me any social favours whatsoever.
Work does not count as a social life. I go outside and do a group activity that doesn't involve being attached to a screen.
So nudist/fetish/kink/BDSM/swinger clubs and spas where no phones are allowed. Gym classes where no phones are used. Women's outdoor football where no phones are used. Dance groups where no phones are used. My local pub where people still hold conversations without being attached to their phone. I went to a book signing and met loads of people as we all had a similar interest in the book!
When I was a kid they said that a TV screen would rot your brain. Now they've given us screens that need to be permanently attached to us. ( work, education, kids, health monitors)
So those are the 2 choices...go outside to meet people or stay inside and be alone.
My colleague had a stroke so she's lost some mobility and is stuck at home a lot. However, the rehabilitation team have already set her up to get hospital transport to make her go to her local stroke support group. She was annoyed and embarrassed that they wheeled her in a chair down to a local pub for the group. Lol!
I told her it's all part of recovery to ...go outside even if it's not in the way you want and is uncomfortable.
Someone quoted on my streaming " if you are not uncomfortable, you are not growing" They are probably right.
You won't meet anyone new if you stay in your comfort zone.
I'm not confident..I have anxiety attacks going to clubs. Lol! But I just get fed up of being stuck and stagnant so I just feel the fear and do it anyway.
Good luck out there all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So many replies indicate that people just read the title.
Yes there are pubs.
Yes there are clubs.
Yes there are smiles
Yes there is work ..
Yes there volunteering ........
But as there are so many social and legal barriers now to approaching people, how do you get past that ?
In my day you stated your case and no one got accused of inappropriate behaviour or arrested or cancelled or shunned as a pariah
I never asked if pubs still exist. Never asked if you can go out with your sisters mate......
HOW do you approach people and state your case ? or do you wait for four years taking a step closer each day eventually sitting next to them for lunch and then wait another four years to touch them ?"
Well....you don't state your case.... usually you make a joke or an observation... Like in the local swingers club, if I really like someone's outfit, I just go up and say so.
I do meet people at work because I live and work in the same area in a supermarket so I end up talking about food or making a joke about food.
In my local pub we usually end up talking about the sports on the telly or the weather if we are out in the garden or if they are playing darts or pool we talk about that.
However if you are neurodivergent, small talk is like the worst thing ever!!
I'm not naturally approachable..I have to make the effort and it requires me to mask some of my neurodivergent traits initially...otherwise I'd never do anything or approach anyone.
The only way I can do it is by using all my therapy skills that I've learnt in the last 20 years even though I didn't know I was autistic officially until this year.
The pandemic made me lose a lot of my social skills and I had to re-learn how to go outside.
Unfortunately it's by practice. I live alone so I can't practice social skills on my own and usually your family are biased.
So far no one has accused me of anything but for a start, you can just observe and listen and not say much or say only neutral stuff.
None of this is easy.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Look in the Windows of florists you will notice the card's of dead people there will also be the details of when and where the funeral is.
You where something black sit through the boring bit and then back to the wake for a feast of sausage rolls etc.
You going to meet load's of people. Do about 4 a week and you will become that social butterfly in no time at all.
Thank me later |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look in the Windows of florists you will notice the card's of dead people there will also be the details of when and where the funeral is.
You where something black sit through the boring bit and then back to the wake for a feast of sausage rolls etc.
You going to meet load's of people. Do about 4 a week and you will become that social butterfly in no time at all.
Thank me later "
death tourism. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look in the Windows of florists you will notice the card's of dead people there will also be the details of when and where the funeral is.
You where something black sit through the boring bit and then back to the wake for a feast of sausage rolls etc.
You going to meet load's of people. Do about 4 a week and you will become that social butterfly in no time at all.
Thank me later
death tourism."
Yes and big savings on your shopping bill. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look in the Windows of florists you will notice the card's of dead people there will also be the details of when and where the funeral is.
You where something black sit through the boring bit and then back to the wake for a feast of sausage rolls etc.
You going to meet load's of people. Do about 4 a week and you will become that social butterfly in no time at all.
Thank me later
death tourism.
Yes and big savings on your shopping bill. "
I do like a buffet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you grew up in the era when I was in my yoof you had to chat to meet girls in 101 different scenarios because there was No social media and 24/7 technology access.
Basically it’s a life skill lost to generations who haven’t had to go without tech
Approach a member of the opposite sex politely and friendly and you’ll be surprised at the usually pleasant response you’ll get even if it doesn’t work out.
Buy a stranger flowers this week and make yourself and them feel great.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look in the Windows of florists you will notice the card's of dead people there will also be the details of when and where the funeral is.
You where something black sit through the boring bit and then back to the wake for a feast of sausage rolls etc.
You going to meet load's of people. Do about 4 a week and you will become that social butterfly in no time at all.
Thank me later "
No ! I won't that you later. I'll thank you now - thank you very much! It made me laugh .... it wasn't as sombre as a couple of other replies. ( i'm sure at least one person thinks i'm asking for me )
anyway your funeral plan stinks..... again we get the venue but NOT how to get it on ...... jaysus ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So the days of chatting up people in bars/streets have gone?
Bring back the 80's and 90s where people could do all of the things the OP mentioned without snowflakes getting upset and can only now meet using a dating app lol."
I don’t think it’s appropriate to try and hit on someone in a bar or pub when they are out with friends but there are plenty of legitimate ways to make friends in your community if you want to make friends new friends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Bring back village hall discos and youth clubs !
My daughter met her partner on Tinder
My son met his wife at school
But it gets harder and harder to meet especially with social media pressing the personal fear button weekly -
Thank goodness for Fab this platform is liberating
Aah yes, the village hall discos and Friday night youth club. The good old days when my friends and I definitely got up to no good "
Point proved ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Great and then how did you tell her how much you fancied her and asked to see her again and tell her that you wanted to be a couple ?"
I’ve been going to the same Thai masseur for a couple years and got very friendly, I took her into the peak district last week, & she’s been teaching me Thai cooking. We never did anything sexual when it was professional, but things develop naturally when you start with friendship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
|
"If you cannot speak to anyone whilst you are 'on duty' in any job.
If you can't approach anyone in
the street.( even picking up the beautiful lace hanky they dropped )
If people take all advances as a threat and think you are a creep or report you to someone.
How far are we from Minory Report ? Will you soon be done for thinking?
How the hell do you meet someone new today?
"
People use dating or hook up apps.Facebook dating too for example. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I simply use a hello. I'm an extroverted introvert that chats shit with people. Never I sulti g, never offensive. Just utter nonsense and I don't care. If I can make you smile and laugh then that's good enough for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
