Having sex with my boyfriend in the living room... Hearing his mum cimi go down the stairs and instead of trying to get my clothes back on.. I sat on the sofa and lay them over me and held the cuffs like I was wearing it... It didn't work |
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"Having sex with my boyfriend in the living room... Hearing his mum cimi go down the stairs and instead of trying to get my clothes back on.. I sat on the sofa and lay them over me and held the cuffs like I was wearing it... It didn't work"
Oops caught red handed  |
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"Having sex with my boyfriend in the living room... Hearing his mum cimi go down the stairs and instead of trying to get my clothes back on.. I sat on the sofa and lay them over me and held the cuffs like I was wearing it... It didn't work"
hahaha great conversation starter over breakfast the next day lol
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Had sex with an ex and the condom split, but not only split seemed to be missing the entire tip.
I did the gentlemanly thing and and tried to locate it as she was worried about toxic shock or something only to locate another one which was a entirely different colour.
She was mortified and despite me trying to put her at ease by asking if she was trying to collect them I never saw her again  |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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When I was a younger guy with an ex in her bedroom getting frisky and stood up, completely naked with a fully erect cock, turned to close the curtains, there her dad was sat in the garden looking up at me. Shut the curtains and had a very good time. Latter on he simply smiled and said bit excited earlier were we? |
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"When I was a younger guy with an ex in her bedroom getting frisky and stood up, completely naked with a fully erect cock, turned to close the curtains, there her dad was sat in the garden looking up at me. Shut the curtains and had a very good time. Latter on he simply smiled and said bit excited earlier were we? "
what a legend  |
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I returned to uni in my late thirties, surrounded by middle aged women in class, one in particular caught my eye and we enjoyed two years of intense flirting and maybes; never got the green light, although I tried anything and everything.
Never saw her post graduation until one day there she was in a wine bar with friends, she’s all over me and I’m immediately inviting her back to my place.
My mind racing all the way home with her in the passenger seat and thoughts of what’s to come..…finally undressed each other and she proceeded to lay there, she was the worst / laziest / most boring / one dimensional sex I’d ever experienced; before or since.
She literally did nothing, just lay there and let me entertain her! I’d heard of ‘pillow princesses’ but always assumed it was an excuse proffered by lazy dudes or those who couldn’t perform!
Perhaps it was me, but to this day she’s still my worst ever experience, genuinely fucked with my mind thinking it was me; worst still, the tables turned and she chased me for months for a follow up so she must have enjoyed herself!
Never again!  |
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"Had sex with an ex and the condom split, but not only split seemed to be missing the entire tip.
I did the gentlemanly thing and and tried to locate it as she was worried about toxic shock or something only to locate another one which was a entirely different colour.
She was mortified and despite me trying to put her at ease by asking if she was trying to collect them I never saw her again thats hard to top "
….and we have a winner! |
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But the next morning I found a pair of pink pants on my bedroom floor. They belonged to mr stroppy. I text him and asked if he wanted them back. He said a big fat NO!!!
My 53rd in a few weeks. Maybe I should go again
