FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is everything permitted?
Is everything permitted?
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…? |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?"
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs |
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Anything that might be stated as against Fab site rules is a definite no. Likewise anything that's illegal.
If people are consenting, then it's a reasonably bet to assume that it's acceptable - unless something is distasteful or potentially disturbing. |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs"
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!  |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah! "
Prove it! |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 34 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah! "
That's no leg...  |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs"
I like that. Makes sense. Thanks. |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah! "
I need to see it! |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs"
Although there are still things that people do that are outside these three ‘laws’. I was thinking about extreme BDSM. So, it must be legal too, although I do have a problem with that because sexual acts have often been deemed illegal for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it! "
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt!  |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it!
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt! "
I make custom shoes for third legs   |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
That's no leg... "
You're damn right |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it!
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt!
I make custom shoes for third legs "
I'm both scared and intrigued as to what that could be |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it!
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt!
I make custom shoes for third legs
I'm both scared and intrigued as to what that could be "
I just need a bell measurement to get correct sizing Then my friend I’ll have all of your 3 of your legs working out ?????? n unison at the gym for you in no time |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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Does it harm anyone that cannot or hasn't given consent?
Is it actually illegal rather than morally dubious (morals differing vastly from one to another)?
Is consent given and keep being given?
If yes, yes yes, then it's all fine even if my monkey brain can't comprehend the acts you enjoy. |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it!
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt!
I make custom shoes for third legs "
Do all third legs have feet on the end of them? |
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I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
|
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
Prove it!
I don't have to respond to this sort of doubt!
I make custom shoes for third legs
Do all third legs have feet on the end of them? "
Wouldn’t be a leg without a foot . Though it seems the third leg foot always seems to resume a mushroom I find |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"I just need a bell measurement to get correct sizing Then my friend I’ll have all of your 3 of your legs working out ?????? n unison at the gym for you in no time "
That's actually quite interesting, it never occurred to me to measure my bell end! I'm actually still a bit confused at what you're referring to  |
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"I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
"
As it’s a swinging site, not a kink site, there are certain observable but unwritten bias’s towards the types of kink acceptable to be discussed.
I think it’s those older controlling types that set the rules |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
As it’s a swinging site, not a kink site, there are certain observable but unwritten bias’s towards the types of kink acceptable to be discussed.
I think it’s those older controlling types that set the rules "
You might be right. |
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"I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
As it’s a swinging site, not a kink site, there are certain observable but unwritten bias’s towards the types of kink acceptable to be discussed.
I think it’s those older controlling types that set the rules "
True it's not a kink site. I think fab stopped being a swingers site a long time ago though.
It is, by design, open to all sorts.
So I'm interested in OP's question and not just in terms of the site rules. |
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"I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
"
I'd say it depends on how you word the criticism.
General rule of thumb (for me) is if your criticism and opinion are about why something isn't for you, that's fine and isn't about shaming anyone. If your criticism is about why others shouldn't enjoy it or makes sweeping judgements of those that do, then it's a different matter.
Mr |
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"I'm not really sure I understand the question. Do you mean how far could you go with kink talk or how far you could go with criticism.
fwiw I don't think having an opinion that is critical of a kink is kink shaming.
I'd say it depends on how you word the criticism.
General rule of thumb (for me) is if your criticism and opinion are about why something isn't for you, that's fine and isn't about shaming anyone. If your criticism is about why others shouldn't enjoy it or makes sweeping judgements of those that do, then it's a different matter.
Mr "
Agreed |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?"
There is a massive difference between not enjoying something and kink shaming.
This entire post is in relation to your comments about squirting and people calling you out on it. As was said in that post not enjoying something is fine but to quote the below comment that you made.
"We should separate the boys (and girls) from the men (and women). Is being shit on desirable too (and before anyone points it out, I am aware that this appeals to a messed up minority)?"
That starts going into the kink shaming realm. If you don't enjoy something don't do It. I personally don't think I'd enjoy being eatem alive by a wild rabid pack of kangaroos and you know what? In my 35 years on this earth I've managed to avoid it |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
There is a massive difference between not enjoying something and kink shaming.
This entire post is in relation to your comments about squirting and people calling you out on it. As was said in that post not enjoying something is fine but to quote the below comment that you made.
"We should separate the boys (and girls) from the men (and women). Is being shit on desirable too (and before anyone points it out, I am aware that this appeals to a messed up minority)?"
That starts going into the kink shaming realm. If you don't enjoy something don't do It. I personally don't think I'd enjoy being eatem alive by a wild rabid pack of kangaroos and you know what? In my 35 years on this earth I've managed to avoid it "
That certainly puts different spin on things.
Calling people messed up for their kinks is straight up kink shaming. |
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By *ags73Man 34 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?"
A one on one kink session and a post in a general forum are different things.
I dunno if there’s better places to discuss the kink stuff? |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
There is a massive difference between not enjoying something and kink shaming.
This entire post is in relation to your comments about squirting and people calling you out on it. As was said in that post not enjoying something is fine but to quote the below comment that you made.
"We should separate the boys (and girls) from the men (and women). Is being shit on desirable too (and before anyone points it out, I am aware that this appeals to a messed up minority)?"
That starts going into the kink shaming realm. If you don't enjoy something don't do It. I personally don't think I'd enjoy being eatem alive by a wild rabid pack of kangaroos and you know what? In my 35 years on this earth I've managed to avoid it "
Pee and shit are closely associated for me and I don’t find either erotic. But clearly I am not supposed to say that on here. By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc. It is also a process about an individual with every person feeling different. It is simply not possible to ‘kink shame’ an entire group of people. I’m not here to simply validate everything that anyone says about sex. I don’t do that in real life and I don’t do that here. There are limits and boundaries and for each of us those will be different. I do not make personal comments and I do not attack individuals. Which is very different from some of the reactions I get. I do like to think about this stuff and I do enjoy talking about it. |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah! "
....you a several guys on here |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs
Well that last one rules me out... Yeah!
....you a several guys on here "
Damn. I wish. |
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"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc. "
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt. |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc.
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt. "
Interesting. That’s not what I did. There are real psychological concepts behind some of the stuff that is said. I just passed on some of that information. Shame is an adjective not a verb. |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc.
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt.
Interesting. That’s not what I did. There are real psychological concepts behind some of the stuff that is said. I just passed on some of that information. Shame is an adjective not a verb. "
Oh and whether you like my attitude or not is entirely irrelevant. |
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"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc.
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt. "
100% agree and was going to comment. But you have put that so eloquently compared to my potential "fucking horse shit" reply which I no longer have to write and then get drawn in. |
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"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc.
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt.
Interesting. That’s not what I did. There are real psychological concepts behind some of the stuff that is said. I just passed on some of that information. Shame is an adjective not a verb. "
Really what you did was use a semantic argument to support your point of view when in fact everyone knows the meaning and common use of that term.
I doubt anyone would feel ashamed reading your post. They will know what you mean though. |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"By the way, shame is an internal process it can’t be created by someone outside of you. I might embarrass you by pointing out something about you but the shame part you would create for yourself based on all your experiences etc.
See I don’t particularly like this attitude, absolving yourself of any wrong doings by blaming the person(s) feelings you’ve hurt.
Interesting. That’s not what I did. There are real psychological concepts behind some of the stuff that is said. I just passed on some of that information. Shame is an adjective not a verb.
Really what you did was use a semantic argument to support your point of view when in fact everyone knows the meaning and common use of that term.
I doubt anyone would feel ashamed reading your post. They will know what you mean though."
What does that mean? I didn’t say it but they know what I meant. Sounds like some kind of Newsspeak. |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?"
I would have thought that was pretty obvious, If I'm not interested or don't understand something or even find something disgusting as long as it's a consensual and legal act between 2 or more adults then I wouldn't even bother to comment on it I would just scroll past it's really as simple as that.
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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It's not really for you to police OP, to do so assumes some sort of higher moral or intellectual position.
What other people choose to do between law abiding adults is really of no concern to anyone but them. |
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I think common sense is the key. If someone says “what do you think of using the word daddy?” I’d answer the question and say I think it’s creepy as fuck. If there’s a thread from someone saying how much they love it and the thread is for people who are into that then I wouldn’t comment. If someone asks an actual question then it’s different. |
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No. Everything is not permissable even if it's within FAB rules
There are some sex acts that are punishable by law if someone came to harm.
The 'don't kink shame' brigade are a tad too pious for me. If someone expresses that they don't enjoy something or don't think it moral or what ever they are not kink shaming.
e.g. I don't give an eff what others do but if they ask me what I think of it I'm not going to be disingenuous to suit the kink shaming brigade. |
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"No. Everything is not permissable even if it's within FAB rules
There are some sex acts that are punishable by law if someone came to harm.
The 'don't kink shame' brigade are a tad too pious for me. If someone expresses that they don't enjoy something or don't think it moral or what ever they are not kink shaming.
e.g. I don't give an eff what others do but if they ask me what I think of it I'm not going to be disingenuous to suit the kink shaming brigade."
Exactly this. Except you say it better than me as usual  |
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By *unchal OP Man 34 weeks ago
Dartford |
"Quoting 1984, clever.
It seems like people don’t tend to agree with you here, maybe it’s the way you’re putting your arguments across? "
I think you misunderstand. I don’t care if people disagree with me. It’s the journey that is important to me. It is a little bit sad that some people are too delicate for any kind of challenge and become mean so easily. |
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"Quoting 1984, clever.
It seems like people don’t tend to agree with you here, maybe it’s the way you’re putting your arguments across?
I think you misunderstand. I don’t care if people disagree with me. It’s the journey that is important to me. It is a little bit sad that some people are too delicate for any kind of challenge and become mean so easily. "
I think you do care. I think you go out of your way to be disagreeable. Your started a thread about it.
It's fairly amusing. |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?"
Basically what you mean is, only my kinks matter and I will judge and shame anyone who doesn't hold the same opinion. You made that clear on the other thread. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 34 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Typing a view on a kink is not kink shaming even if people claim it to be. However like everything, it is the way a view is expressed will depend on how people react to it( hopefully within forum rules of course )
On the other hand it depends on how an OP is worded as to whether anyone need to answer at all...worded as " what do you think of blah blah " will get you all sorts of answers and quite rightly so.
Worded as asking for advice on a kink wouldn't need people to come along and say that kink is not right etc as it just spoils a persons thread.
From a rule point of view ( made by Admin themselves who I wouldn't say is old at 49 ) some extreme kinks in BDSM may not be illegal but are not allowed on here but most other kinks that are legal and with consent are.
Rule of thumb, if you are going to post your view, expect people to answer. If the answers break forum rules then report and it will be looked at while making sure your own posts are within rules too. |
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"People on here keep saying that such and such is a kink and to be critical is to be ‘kink shaming’. Is everything permitted? Are there no limits or boundaries that you think need to be enforced. How far can I go before one of you in this Forum, screams, enough, stop…?
As a guide:
Everyone should be of age
Everyone should consent
No one should have more than two legs"
Lol made me giggle the Mr |
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I don't believe it's shaming to express a view about any subject - in opposition to those expressed by another person. I do think ad hominem is not a persuasive form of argumentation and can become a call to shame. If other's follow suit - I don't find an appeal to majority makes the fundamental lack of a logically valid argument any less significant either.
My view is that people tend to put more effort into being understood than understanding others. Instead of focusing on what we should tolerate, perhaps there's something to be said for appreciating diversity? |
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