FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The first rule of clique club
The first rule of clique club
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"What's with all the clique threads have I missed something?
Or is it because I'm an outsider & aren't privy 
"
Usual forum fare innit.
Controversial (allegedly) topic spawns a dozen poor imitations. |
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"What's with all the clique threads have I missed something?
Or is it because I'm an outsider & aren't privy
"
I started one the other day but it was meant to be very tongue in cheek.
Not my finest hour.
 |
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"What's with all the clique threads have I missed something?
Or is it because I'm an outsider & aren't privy
I started one the other day but it was meant to be very tongue in cheek.
Not my finest hour.
"
Ah so it's you to blame then! |
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I also missed all the threads from yesterday pertaining to cliques, and I've been quite reticent about it until now.
Just over a year ago there was a 'production line' of similar clique threads, one after the other causing equal amounts of bewilderment and consternation amongst the forum dwellers. To culminate the days events I created a Clinique™ thread about men's shaving cream and shaving habits - no different to my usual and benign 'lifestyle' threads - but with a jocular nod towards to all those clique ones created earlier that day.
For some unfathomable reason I got singled out, held to task and given an unpleasant dressing down by a 'popular' (and extant) forumite, whilst all the other perpetrators who had blatantly created the aforementioned clique threads were disregarded. That person inferred they were against such things and would never entertain threads relating to cliques (or words to that effect).
Much later I came across a thread which had been created 12 month previously. It was a clique thread. The author of that thread? The same person who had subjected me to that dressing down.
It never ceases to amaze me the duplicity, double standards and invective shaming some people will resort to. |
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No such thing has ever or will ever to the best of my recollection knowledge or certainty existed on Fab - it’s an invention by people who aren’t as popular as us in the inner secret circle to explain why they’re just not as great as we are.
There are no cliques!!
(Whispers… we need to be more careful or one of these is going to rumble us good & proper!!)  |
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"I also missed all the threads from yesterday pertaining to cliques, and I've been quite reticent about it until now.
Just over a year ago there was a 'production line' of similar clique threads, one after the other causing equal amounts of bewilderment and consternation amongst the forum dwellers. To culminate the days events I created a Clinique™ thread about men's shaving cream and shaving habits - no different to my usual and benign 'lifestyle' threads - but with a jocular nod towards to all those clique ones created earlier that day.
For some unfathomable reason I got singled out, held to task and given an unpleasant dressing down by a 'popular' (and extant) forumite, whilst all the other perpetrators who had blatantly created the aforementioned clique threads were disregarded. That person inferred they were against such things and would never entertain threads relating to cliques (or words to that effect).
Much later I came across a thread which had been created 12 month previously. It was a clique thread. The author of that thread? The same person who had subjected me to that dressing down.
It never ceases to amaze me the duplicity, double standards and invective shaming some people will resort to."
Something similar happened to me last year when a popular forumite started a thread being very vocal about people contacting her privately rather than publicly in the forums.
She was adamant that the reply privately option should be removed.
I gave my opinion on the thread and immediately and ironically received a private message from said fabber telling me why my opinion was irrelevant and pointless.
I felt I had to call her out publicly and ask her to keep in on the forums.
As a direct result 5 different women on that thread criticised me for doing so and all blocked me.
I find it hard to believe that intelligent people who claim to be able to form their own opinions weren't able to see the irony and just circled the wagons.
I couldn't care less if there is a clique but as others have said some people are very protective of their association with others.
I don't call that friendship. I call it fomo. |
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"I also missed all the threads from yesterday pertaining to cliques, and I've been quite reticent about it until now.
Just over a year ago there was a 'production line' of similar clique threads, one after the other causing equal amounts of bewilderment and consternation amongst the forum dwellers. To culminate the days events I created a Clinique™ thread about men's shaving cream and shaving habits - no different to my usual and benign 'lifestyle' threads - but with a jocular nod towards to all those clique ones created earlier that day.
For some unfathomable reason I got singled out, held to task and given an unpleasant dressing down by a 'popular' (and extant) forumite, whilst all the other perpetrators who had blatantly created the aforementioned clique threads were disregarded. That person inferred they were against such things and would never entertain threads relating to cliques (or words to that effect).
Much later I came across a thread which had been created 12 month previously. It was a clique thread. The author of that thread? The same person who had subjected me to that dressing down.
It never ceases to amaze me the duplicity, double standards and invective shaming some people will resort to.
Something similar happened to me last year when a popular forumite started a thread being very vocal about people contacting her privately rather than publicly in the forums.
She was adamant that the reply privately option should be removed.
I gave my opinion on the thread and immediately and ironically received a private message from said fabber telling me why my opinion was irrelevant and pointless.
I felt I had to call her out publicly and ask her to keep in on the forums.
As a direct result 5 different women on that thread criticised me for doing so and all blocked me.
I find it hard to believe that intelligent people who claim to be able to form their own opinions weren't able to see the irony and just circled the wagons.
I couldn't care less if there is a clique but as others have said some people are very protective of their association with others.
I don't call that friendship. I call it fomo. "
Who said we’re intelligent?? We need to stamp on that unsubstantiated nonsense!! |
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I don’t get why everyone is getting so upset over what others think of them on the forum?
Who cares what some one else says/thinks?
I know there are lots of people who don’t like my views. Fair enough. I can live with that. I think the forums are largely banal and respective now anyway - everyone jumps on a me too thread (look how many clique threads have been created in the last 12 hours!)
The forums generally reward noise over substance. Repeatedly post a bunch of banal rubbish and everyone thinks you are a player. Kind of ironic given very few of those forum players actually meet very often - which is actually the whole point of the site.
Let the noise flow over you and focus on what you want to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"I don’t get why everyone is getting so upset over what others think of them on the forum?
Who cares what some one else says/thinks?
I know there are lots of people who don’t like my views. Fair enough. I can live with that. I think the forums are largely banal and respective now anyway - everyone jumps on a me too thread (look how many clique threads have been created in the last 12 hours!)
The forums generally reward noise over substance. Repeatedly post a bunch of banal rubbish and everyone thinks you are a player. Kind of ironic given very few of those forum players actually meet very often - which is actually the whole point of the site.
Let the noise flow over you and focus on what you want to do."
Of course they don't meet often. Why do you think they post on the forums so much? |
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"I don’t get why everyone is getting so upset over what others think of them on the forum?
Who cares what some one else says/thinks?
I know there are lots of people who don’t like my views. Fair enough. I can live with that. I think the forums are largely banal and respective now anyway - everyone jumps on a me too thread (look how many clique threads have been created in the last 12 hours!)
The forums generally reward noise over substance. Repeatedly post a bunch of banal rubbish and everyone thinks you are a player. Kind of ironic given very few of those forum players actually meet very often - which is actually the whole point of the site.
Let the noise flow over you and focus on what you want to do."
A friend of mine describes people on social media as ‘Sheeple’ because they just follow the flock- hence why we get 1 thread getting traction on cliques and another 12 popping up hoping to mirror it. |
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By *elloWoman 26 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
I always think that people who are in a supposed clique don't actually realise they are in one, surely no one set out to form a group which purposely excludes others, or am I too optimistic in human nature.
Isn't it more likely that the people who struggle to connect to people right off the bat try to explain their sometimes invisiblilty to others as being the fault of the other people, purposely ignoring them when in fact they just need a bit more presence or luck to shine through and be noticed. 
It's a shame we aren't allowed to name on here because I would be very interested to see who people think are members of the lounge clique |
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"I always think that people who are in a supposed clique don't actually realise they are in one, surely no one set out to form a group which purposely excludes others, or am I too optimistic in human nature.
Isn't it more likely that the people who struggle to connect to people right off the bat try to explain their sometimes invisiblilty to others as being the fault of the other people, purposely ignoring them when in fact they just need a bit more presence or luck to shine through and be noticed.
It's a shame we aren't allowed to name on here because I would be very interested to see who people think are members of the lounge clique "
I can’t imagine anyone thinks they are part of a clique, and to be fair I don’t spend enough time in the lounge to know who is in one. There inevitably will be one though, it’s human nature. Given the examples on the other thread of what people have experienced at the hands of ‘forum favourites’ it’s not always a healthy part of human nature. |
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By *elloWoman 26 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
I've been on here for 15years and never bought into the clique myth, it's just people interacting with people they know and with people who have made a comment they like or disliked.
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"What's with all the clique threads have I missed something?
Or is it because I'm an outsider & aren't privy
"
Yes and I know this as I am an outsider too and have a spy on the inside. They are working from within to bring them down |
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I wouldn't have thought there are cliques as such, as in we won't let THEM in, but THEY can come 'in'. But what I do think is that it is the same people who come on fab, on the lounge and can be bothered to interact or answer the same question that was asked only a week ago etc. They have the time to do that. I think there is also a fear of missing out element to it too. They have to look, they have to comment. Thats why it's often the same people are on the threads.
I think it is also a place where people who have met at various socials will talk to each other, they interact with some threads more than others as it is a friend's/acquaintances and they want to support them or comment to keep the friendship alive. It is also a means to nurture friendships too or finally the forum is simply a place to show off. Again this possibly why the same people always pop up on there and their comments get traction and that's why it may look like a 'clique'. |
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