I can't be the only one who now believes that males in the UK now play second fiddle to females in nearly every aspect of life, whether that be employment, family law, homelessness etc,, really hit home after recently becoming homeless with my daughter - seeing the ins and outs of the system - mother's generally being given preference, single females being given a roof over their head, my saving grace was I had my teen with me so the council had a responsibility set in law to house me - yet again in a repeated story I've spoken to yet another bloke the other day - kicked out his house by partner, don't know why don't care but he was left out on the streets - no one cared he was on his own, no roof, no belongings as such, on the street - council reckon they did not have a duty of care - and this is a repeating story I here!
Tell me has the push for women's rights, trans rights, race rights really started to go too far! From what I see it has! Men get such a raw deal as a hole! Expected to work - no one cares about if they have medical conditions, pushed out family life with numerous good fathers not seeing children because of vindictive mothers and a system that backs those mothers up, the whole ethos of suck it up buttercup constantly springs to mind as men are just meant to get on with it! Regardless!! The help, the equality just is not there for genuine males in this country - which makes life so difficult for us!! Unfortunately this came too late for a friend of mine who recently succeeded in taking his life as any help was too slow and not of the quality needed!
Sorry - just how I feel |
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By *oydykeWoman 14 weeks ago
Southampton (they/them) |
First of all, I think it’s very tone deaf to believe women are more privileged than men. The reason why women were prioritised ahead of you in the housing list was because they may have extenuating circumstances that make them more vulnerable- a woman fleeing domestic violence, even without a child, is likely to be placed high due to being vulnerable.
That being said, an able-bodied woman who can work and has a steady income has no higher place than an able bodied man who can work and has a steady income. There’s extenuating circumstances that you won’t know about which means women are given ‘priority.’
Second of all, women having more rights and equal treatment doesn’t mean less rights for you. It’s not pie, we can all have a slice.
And I’d like to point out that it’s mainly men that have made a system that goes against men. For example, a single woman is placed first on the priority list if her car is broken down because it’s not safe for her to be out. Should we take a guess why?
It’s not all black and white. I understand your anger and frustration, but taking it out on women isn’t the way to go. Take it out on those who made the systems the way they are; those who uphold the systems with their traditional values etc.
Also, it was completely unnecessary to mention trans rights and ‘race rights.’ |
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By *oydykeWoman 14 weeks ago
Southampton (they/them) |
On a more personal note, I hope you feel better soon and whatever you’re going through gets better for you.
I quote Romans 8:26-27: The Holy Spirit Prays on Our Behalf
May God guide you  |
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The issue of social housing is the lack of supply of it and that has been the issue for decades.
I don't think the solution is divisory rhetoric, I think people need to stand in solidarity and demand the major infrastructure deficiencies in this country are rectified.
I do think there is a culture of suck it up buttercup, boys don't cry etc, in this country and that's toxic for everyone including men.
My condolences for the loss of your friend. Anger at injustice can be an energy for positive change, but women aren't the problem. |
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I agree some men do get a raw deal in some areas, but then so do some women as they're still not seen as equals by some employers /men etc.
It can be difficult for everyone, maybe just in different ways.
Women are often expected to take on most of the childcare.Most women I know with kids are the ones who have to leave work if a child is ill, or take days off for it etc.
I appreciate society encourages men not show their emotions & man up,but things like Andys man club is trying to change that and help men who have mental health issues to get support.
I know someone who was made homeless, she didn't have children and had to sofa surf for a long time. So I think it's more that woman will often have custody of the kids that means they get rehomed, not because they're women.
It's not a competition as to who has life the hardest op, I'm really sorry about your friend, but life is tough for many people, male and female for various reasons.
Also trans people are just doing their best and do deserve rights too. |
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With regard to the housing situation, it doesn't matter which sex you are, unless you have a child or have a disability and become homeless, the council will not help you, they have a duty of care if you have the above and even then some of the absolute dives they are offered is another story. I've known any sexed people to become homeless, just them and in good health and the council have refused to help, not saying it's right but that's the way the system works unfortunately |
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I am no feminist, but I am going to bite…
For a very long time women were not allowed to do many things, they couldnt vote, couldn’t refuse to have sex with their husband, couldn’t choose their husband, couldn’t open a bank account…the list goes on and on.
Women are sometimes now prioritised because statistically women are at a greater risk of harm than men. Those causing the harm are statistically more likely to be men too.
It sounds like you have had a rough time, I’m not sure why that is the fault of women, and yes I’d say the same if a woman came on here bashing a whole gender because they’ve not had an easy time. |
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OP. I do really want to open the can of worms that is do you really believe what you have written in the OP?
Because really, honestly, do you believe that?
Equal rights will never mean anyone is made a second though. Behind anyone else.
But seriously? After all the things that people have been through to actually try to achieve parity you actually think that?
All I can say to that is WOW. Fucking honestly. WOW
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I do believe it yes, I'm not angry or pessimistic, I think fathers for justice in most cases will agree, I'm a victim of domestic abuse by a controlling child abuser that's why I'm in this situation,, I've had the police virtually laugh at me and say come on - look at the size of you - how can you possibly be telling the truth! Why because I did not physically defend my self or my child, I work and as sole parent am expected to return home from work if child is ill.. the proof in the pudding is in the replies I've seen in this thread so far - man up, wow just wow, etc etc - this is how society has raised this generation as we are supposed to all be equal yet if going by some of the replies here - that just proves a point - a woman is more vulnerable?? Why?? Why is one human more vulnerable than another? Why is it because your supposed to be the fairer sex that makes females more vulnerable than males? - stereo typing?? Wmon and wages - I know women particularly for example - in the nhs nursing profession on a damn site more money than myself - mechanic - infact nurses are one of the highest paid in this area also delivery parts drivers earn more than us working in national companies - vast majority are women!
This is not gender bashing ( God knows we see this often enough whether it be male female, trans, pan, bi etc etc), this is society as a whole and the way that society has been molded for years decades etc,, as a society we should have all moved on, we should all be equal, regardless of sex, age, race, where we stand on a societal level, and since lockdowns this whole gulf has widened, people become much more entitled etc. why don't all people treat others as equal!
I know the gender equality issue is a huge can of worms but really!! Just seeing some narrow minded messages emphasizes how little we have moved on unfortunately. |
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By *oydykeWoman 14 weeks ago
Southampton (they/them) |
"I do believe it yes, I'm not angry or pessimistic, I think fathers for justice in most cases will agree, I'm a victim of domestic abuse by a controlling child abuser that's why I'm in this situation,, I've had the police virtually laugh at me and say come on - look at the size of you - how can you possibly be telling the truth! Why because I did not physically defend my self or my child, I work and as sole parent am expected to return home from work if child is ill.. the proof in the pudding is in the replies I've seen in this thread so far - man up, wow just wow, etc etc - this is how society has raised this generation as we are supposed to all be equal yet if going by some of the replies here - that just proves a point - a woman is more vulnerable?? Why?? Why is one human more vulnerable than another? Why is it because your supposed to be the fairer sex that makes females more vulnerable than males? - stereo typing?? Wmon and wages - I know women particularly for example - in the nhs nursing profession on a damn site more money than myself - mechanic - infact nurses are one of the highest paid in this area also delivery parts drivers earn more than us working in national companies - vast majority are women!
This is not gender bashing ( God knows we see this often enough whether it be male female, trans, pan, bi etc etc), this is society as a whole and the way that society has been molded for years decades etc,, as a society we should have all moved on, we should all be equal, regardless of sex, age, race, where we stand on a societal level, and since lockdowns this whole gulf has widened, people become much more entitled etc. why don't all people treat others as equal!
I know the gender equality issue is a huge can of worms but really!! Just seeing some narrow minded messages emphasizes how little we have moved on unfortunately."
You seem like you’re in a bad place so I don’t think you’re open to listening and learning.
I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, May God give you strength, but women aren’t the problem. Women aren’t your enemy. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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I'm so sorry for your loss & struggles. I hope you get to where you need to.
Lack of housing for singles (no kids, other factors) is a mega issue, alongside lack of affordable housing. I would say that's more due to the current governments approach to housing in a multitude of ways.
Single / seperated women without kids can be in similar financial difficulties to single men, but some have stronger social networks to lean on. I also think it's easier to blame women, than address the flaws in the system.
Andy's club, Samaritans & citizens advice can help in difficulties. Men should definitely feel able to share, talk, vent with each other & anyone they feel comfortable with, as we all need to express & regulate emotions, especially in difficult times. I think the patrichy/ parenting has failed mens emotional needs as much as everyone's safety. Please reach out to vent whenever you need to, even though others might not always agree with your reasoning. |
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"I'm so sorry for your loss & struggles. I hope you get to where you need to.
Lack of housing for singles (no kids, other factors) is a mega issue, alongside lack of affordable housing. I would say that's more due to the current governments approach to housing in a multitude of ways.
Single / seperated women without kids can be in similar financial difficulties to single men, but some have stronger social networks to lean on. I also think it's easier to blame women, than address the flaws in the system.
Andy's club, Samaritans & citizens advice can help in difficulties. Men should definitely feel able to share, talk, vent with each other & anyone they feel comfortable with, as we all need to express & regulate emotions, especially in difficult times. I think the patrichy/ parenting has failed mens emotional needs as much as everyone's safety. Please reach out to vent whenever you need to, even though others might not always agree with your reasoning. "
This is a lovely response. I'm sure OP is just lashing out because he's hurting.
OP. Please contact the organisations mentioned and I hope you sort out your issues x |
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Very sorry for you and your mates family...
Hope you can find the help and support that you need, there are charities and helplines out there specifically for men in these types of situations, not very many i will grant you, but they are there..
Shout to the guys on here if anyone is feeling suicidal, for fucks sake talk to someone.. three quarters of ALL suicides in the uk are men, just make the call and talk, it really can make a difference.
Best of luck for the future pal. |
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There are support agencies for male victims of domestic abuse. Even if you have not had a good response from police, you can still access support.
OP, if you would like any signposting or advice, you can DM me.
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hi like flat caps said there are services for DV that support males, i can also signpost or chat if you want.
I totally agree that males can quite often be give the rough end especially when children are involved - i worked for services that were responsible for the care of children and i often rowed with others about the fact that what we were told to deliver to a father with a newborn baby would not be done to a female! I quit - but yea it can be impossible for these dinosaurs to change their views.
I am sorry to hear that you have suffered at the hands of an antiquated system. It does need a complete shake up and certain males are also in need. |
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"I can't be the only one who now believes that males in the UK now play second fiddle to females in nearly every aspect of life, whether that be employment, family law, homelessness etc,, really hit home after recently becoming homeless with my daughter - seeing the ins and outs of the system - mother's generally being given preference, single females being given a roof over their head, my saving grace was I had my teen with me so the council had a responsibility set in law to house me - yet again in a repeated story I've spoken to yet another bloke the other day - kicked out his house by partner, don't know why don't care but he was left out on the streets - no one cared he was on his own, no roof, no belongings as such, on the street - council reckon they did not have a duty of care - and this is a repeating story I here!
Tell me has the push for women's rights, trans rights, race rights really started to go too far! From what I see it has! Men get such a raw deal as a hole! Expected to work - no one cares about if they have medical conditions, pushed out family life with numerous good fathers not seeing children because of vindictive mothers and a system that backs those mothers up, the whole ethos of suck it up buttercup constantly springs to mind as men are just meant to get on with it! Regardless!! The help, the equality just is not there for genuine males in this country - which makes life so difficult for us!! Unfortunately this came too late for a friend of mine who recently succeeded in taking his life as any help was too slow and not of the quality needed!
Sorry - just how I feel"
Thanks for sharing Grumpy. By highlighting your experiences and feelings you will alert others to what is happening to some members of society.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend taking his life. That must be hard for you to take and will have affected his family and friends badly i'm sure.
I do need to ask you to maybe think that the fault lies with lack of provision for all and a government that have allowed support to be eroded over the years.
It's not really logical to say that the changes that men are experiencing are the 'fault' of women if you think about it... but you are right that it's difficult to get any help or to get anyone to care. |
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Sorry for your troubles OP. It's clear your having a rough time.
I'm a single dad and I am very familiar with institutional discrimination of single father's.
I have faced it in social services and in the health services. It is a real thing and I'm sorry your going through it.
I hope you find some support. |
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