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Men of the lounge-what women do wrong
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By (user no longer on site) OP 12 weeks ago
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**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it  ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit  |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
It’s a trap! |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
I rarely (read never) come from just oral, some ladies have taken great offence to that, like it’s either my fault or I don’t think they are sexy enough !)!
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There was a girl, when I was younger, who was just *too* enthusiastic. Gripped too tightly with her hands. And her lips. Sucked really hard. Went completely over the top. She literally tore the skin of my cock. Left me bleeding. Left scars. They healed up eventually though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now."
We daren't comment on the grounds we might incriminate ourselves and then ruin even the slight chance that a female of the species might come within five yards of our pretty penises  |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
 . . .... .. .......and quietly walking back out of the room again. |
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"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own.
It’s ok. I’ve got your back 
Just my techniques alone can get it to 160…."
I'd quite happily give you my opinion on if anything is wrong with your technique.
Maybe 4 or 5 BJs to get a full evaluation   |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...
"
Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?
You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains. |
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"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...
Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?
You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains."
NO. JUST NO. |
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"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own.
It’s ok. I’ve got your back
Just my techniques alone can get it to 160….
I'd quite happily give you my opinion on if anything is wrong with your technique.
Maybe 4 or 5 BJs to get a full evaluation "
I don’t do bjs….:
There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale. |
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"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own."
There was a girl who used to appear whistling at my bedroom window in the night , I would sneak out she would’ve yank my cock so hard I was certain my foreskin would snap off. I used to make sure I wasn’t leaning against a wall, At the time I thought my cock was broken but I guess she did me a favour loosening it up  |
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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
""A safe space"
Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights
 "
Only applicable in America, sorry bud.
You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same. |
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""A safe space"
Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights
Only applicable in America, sorry bud.
You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same."
Just the facts ma'am, just the facts. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...
"
Have you tried reading the list BEFORE you set out? That way, you'd know what you have to get... and you can organise your own route around store...?! |
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""A safe space"
Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights
Only applicable in America, sorry bud.
You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same."
I stand corrected. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
""A safe space"
Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights
Only applicable in America, sorry bud.
You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same.
I stand corrected."
Good lad |
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I’m getting my own back because it’s to good an opportunity to miss
So “everything” you do is wrong
Obviously it’s not but I wanted you to share the pain us guys go through 
Hear endeth Sam’s sex life on fab lol |
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"
I don’t do bjs….:
There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale.
Me neither 
I don't do very good sex either. I lay there like a manikin with a carrot stuff to his pelvis "
Carrot? Damn. I wanted a cucumber |
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"
I don’t do bjs….:
There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale.
Me neither
I don't do very good sex either. I lay there like a manikin with a carrot stuff to his pelvis
Carrot? Damn. I wanted a cucumber "
Baby carrot at that as well... nature was unfair in many ways. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.
Ruins it for me.
Totally agree on this or even worse when they try spit in your mouth / face "
Just dirty. Didn't your Mamma teach you never to spit?! |
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"Ladies, you need to just buy me doughnuts beforehand. Sweeten me up a little before you try to just get inside my pants 
Pack of 5 jam doughnuts?"
Yeah, go on. I'm sure the sugar and jam can find its way into some interesting places |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...
Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?
You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains.
NO. JUST NO."
I’m with T&A, and that’s not tits and ass of Coyote, organising a food shopping list by the path you will take makes the most logical sense to me. Any other way of organising a food shopping list is just madness. |
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"I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.
Ruins it for me.
Totally agree on this or even worse when they try spit in your mouth / face "
Never had anyone spit in my mouth and nor would I want to. However, I actually don't mind my cock being spat on.
Different strokes for different folks, but I like a firm sucking and my foreskin pulled back, not a light suck where my cock is hardly being touched. Sometimes have to instruct to suck harder, even using their finger to demonstrate how hard I'd like it. |
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By *unchalMan 12 weeks ago
Dartford |
Blinking heck. Women never grip hard enough or slide their fingers in deep enough while sucking hard enough. I imagine they have no idea what men want because how could they possible want anymore than their vagina. Maybe that is just my experience. I once have sex with a much older woman (when I was much younger than I am) who was like a whirling Dervish regardless of where I stuck my cock. I was convinced that eventually she was going to twist my cock off. She was a nice woman. |
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I did this years ago. He was screaming, there was blood everywhere. I got dressed and left "
I had that Homer Simpson disappearing into a bush gif in my head when I read that |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people? "
Looking for a third... |
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people?
Looking for a third... "
But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included? |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people?
Looking for a third...
But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?"
Blowjob and a free visit to a&e
Bargain!
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people?
Looking for a third...
But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?"
 |
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people?
Looking for a third...
But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?
"
Sharp lil teeth |
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?
I've snapped 2.
So proud.
That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!
What in the hell is the matter with you people?
Looking for a third...
But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?
Blowjob and a free visit to a&e
Bargain!"
Considering how hard it normally is to get seen to, I see no downside! |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
telling us not to stop |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
To be fare women do pretty good. Surprisingly guys have less of an idea. I’ve had wanking to hard, teach chafing, trying to stick finger up arse with no lube. |
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"**a lighthearted thread**
Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it ? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?
This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit "
Can think of one that near squeezed life out me, a hell of a grip.
When a younger man, in nineties, was the ‘seduce me’ ones that lay there like an ironing board.
I suppose a couple did improve and get funky but can remember one where I tried not to laugh at her lying stone still. I don’t want to think if she’s still like that.
I don’t want to think d*unk women and the walk you home, get you a taxi sort of nights
|
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Mostly they expect you to have a ‘hair trigger’ like the other guys they’ve met, who blew their load within 5 minutes of getting their lips around their cock. Give them the challenge of a guy who hasn’t cum from a bj for over 7 years, and they’re like “Well I’m not doing this all night, you gonna fuck me?”……
In general with bj threads; the ‘Bj Queens’ go into hiding, whereas all the ‘discreet/nothing wanted in return mate’ secret cock suckers fill your inbox….. |
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"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral? "
Yes, 40 years ago. "Your mouth's bleeding" said I, "It's not me" said she. At the hospital the doctor asked how it happened and when I started staying I was with my girlfriend he stopped me and said "Good, as long as you're not one of them." |
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