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Parents, the boyfriend/girlfriend dilemma
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My elder one has had a couple of boyfriends. I do my best to make them feel welcome, but I keep my own counsel until asked for my views.
She is in a position now that she will discuss any concerns she has with me and I check with her whether she wants me to just listen, or whether she wants advice. |
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We always welcomed them and kept our opinions to ourselves unless it seemed there was potential for abuse. The ones we were most wary of were the ones who were reluctant to meet us.
We had a no staying overnight unless in a serious relationship rule though. |
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"Thank fuck I’m nowhere near having to tackle that problem. I’ve got time to think of some creative ways to tease/worry potential suitors. "
Answer the door in a blood stained apron carrying a big cleaver… worked with mine!!  |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 12 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
I was casual and didn't make out that it was a big deal. I always just try to be myself. I subsequently have played boardgames with him and interacted socially.
I'd be quite happy with her seeing a version of me at that age. I was, in fact her age when I met her mum. I'm the same person I was then, just with more mileage and perhaps a bit more wisdom, and I like who I was then.  |
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By *nnCeeWoman 12 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"I was casual and didn't make out that it was a big deal. I always just try to be myself. I subsequently have played boardgames with him and interacted socially.
I'd be quite happy with her seeing a version of me at that age. I was, in fact her age when I met her mum. I'm the same person I was then, just with more mileage and perhaps a bit more wisdom, and I like who I was then. "
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"None of our kids boy or girlfriends could have come close to being like we were  . They have literally no idea what it was like to be young, free and single in the second half of the seventies "
Agree |
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Nothing gives you better understanding of each other and their life values like living under one roof due to unforeseen circumstances.
Needless to say my future daughter in law is my best friend and I couldn’t wish for a better half for my oldest. |
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My daughters will always be my daughters and I have a protective streak over them
That said the person they chose does not have to be anything to me other than their partner. I will always support their choice unless I see behaviours in their partner or a changed behaviour within my daughters that will make me approach them and voice my concerns |
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Three girls, My youngest dumped a guy at 17 because ‘he couldn’t drive and had no life plan’ they all went through a phase of meeting much older guys , senior police , a pilot in Dubai, DJ’s but then settled on a guys their own age. Never needed my advice or opinions , they always knew there would be no sex in my house , I think that’s disrespectful & indicates it’s time to get their own place
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I've got three boys (all over 18 now), pretty much all of them were in long term relationships from the age of 16, because they don't live with me (live with their dad/college/uni) I didn't have that pressure of them visiting the house all the time etc.
I like to think I've made them feel welcome, Christmas I would make sure they get a little gift each, Easter I'll make sure they get some money or something, birthdays not quite so much.
It's a very weird feeling when you see your kids rarely because of life and when you do, they always have the other half in tow, feels very awkward sometimes to say "can I just see you on your own".
That said, two of my sons made some very choice decisions with their first long term girlfriends, in the end myself and their dad had to say something that they wasn't good for them but in the end they made their own decisions and we just had to be their to pick the pieces up, it's what you do as parents and it's a learning curve for them I think x |
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My youngest has recently got her first bf. I have always just been myself... did had to point out that sex at all hours of the day while great was not really the done thing when the house has more than them in it.
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My daughter had a boyfriend for a while and we never got to meet him (she lives with her mum 100 miles away).
Then one day her mum fell out with her, all hell broke loose the her boyfriend stepped up, made sure she was OK, got her to contact me and looked after her.
Right there I knew he was a decent guy.
A fee years on they are still together and have 2 young children.
Sometimes you just jave to trust your kids judgement and be there if the world shatters |
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