Inspired by another thread where a bunch of mums were out having a night of fun and laughter down the pub. How very dare they
Just a bit of fun, what have you done lately that's just downright unacceptable as a mum?
I ate a chocolate bar that my mum had bought for my daughter 
I put nursery rhymes on youtube yesterday so I could have 10 mins without hearing "maaaam". |
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"I have a teenage daughter...I spoke
Completely unacceptable  
I have a mid-twenties daughter, we don't speak (her choice)."
Ah ...slightly different situation there mate but hope you work it out with her  |
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered 
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus."
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move. |
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus.
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move."
 never make eye contact  |
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus.
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move.
never make eye contact "
She could be facing away and in the mornings her head could spin like an owl needing an exorcism just to shoot daggers. |
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Last night, younger one went to Maccie D with a friend, so I ordered takeaway for me and my elder one. Younger one came home "where's my takeaway" - "you went for McDonalds, that was your meal, this is our", "But I want takeaway, too!" - "You've had takeaway, McDonalds".... Begrudgingly gave her a slice of my pizza..... |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 31 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Unintentional, but when our daughter was little, we'd occasionally say, use your inside voice. For years she thought we meant for her to just stick to her internal monologue, and be quiet. 
Too clever for her own good. |
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"I clearly swear too much because my 4yo said to me "when I'm a grown up, I'm going to say a grown up word. It begins with fuck" she wanted to say fuckin'ell"
I remember my daughter saying
“Why can I say tummy ache but not fucks ache”
|
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus.
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move.
never make eye contact
She could be facing away and in the mornings her head could spin like an owl needing an exorcism just to shoot daggers."
And God forbid you have in some way attempted to be helpful but in slightly the wrong way (wrong way only to be defined after the event)  |
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Ate the bag of milky bar buttons someone got for the baby. A baby doesn't need chocolate, but I do
Singing along to a song while washing up. In comes my eldest 'omg you're so cringe mum stop it'. Guess I'll just sing louder then |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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I may have lied…..more than once about the time so they’ll go to bed earlier. Sometimes you just need the peace and quiet, you know. That last hour before bedtime draaaags in  |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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I really try very hard not to look at any sweets they have lying around, especially after easter. Buuut inevitably I’ll get asked the magic question. ‘Daa-aad? Where did our egg/kinder bueno/haribo go?’ 
Also, because I’m a wholesome, jokey dad, I’ll often load them all into the car to go somewhere. Then I’ll stick my arse through one of the doors and drop a massive fart into the car then shut the door and listen with great relish to the chorus of screams and coughs coming from inside. |
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My ex wife told our daughter that one about the ice cream van music too when she was younger.
This morning I attempted to watch something of my choice on the TV for all of two minutes when my two year old told me "No I don't like this one. I do a bit like trains..." |
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus.
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move.
never make eye contact
She could be facing away and in the mornings her head could spin like an owl needing an exorcism just to shoot daggers.
And God forbid you have in some way attempted to be helpful but in slightly the wrong way (wrong way only to be defined after the event) "
Oh wow, something to look forward to then |
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"
Also, because I’m a wholesome, jokey dad, I’ll often load them all into the car to go somewhere. Then I’ll stick my arse through one of the doors and drop a massive fart into the car then shut the door and listen with great relish to the chorus of screams and coughs coming from inside."
I think the sweets and chocolate are well deserved. But the gassing your kids in the car, that's downright outrageous |
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"My ex wife told our daughter that one about the ice cream van music too when she was younger.
This morning I attempted to watch something of my choice on the TV for all of two minutes when my two year old told me "No I don't like this one. I do a bit like trains..." "
I have a nearly 2 year old. I feel your pain |
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"I may have lied…..more than once about the time so they’ll go to bed earlier. Sometimes you just need the peace and quiet, you know. That last hour before bedtime draaaags in "
Oh I'm pinching this |
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"**dad's can join in too - before I got hung drawn and quartered
•
Let's hear it for the naughty dads that take up track and field events.
Discus.
2nd in the 100m. Was third but the guy half my age tore a hammy trying too hard to win.
Back on track (see what I did there)...
I have a teen daughter and I smiled at her in the morning. Wrong move.
never make eye contact
She could be facing away and in the mornings her head could spin like an owl needing an exorcism just to shoot daggers.
And God forbid you have in some way attempted to be helpful but in slightly the wrong way (wrong way only to be defined after the event)
Oh wow, something to look forward to then "
Run...run now |
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"My ex wife told our daughter that one about the ice cream van music too when she was younger.
This morning I attempted to watch something of my choice on the TV for all of two minutes when my two year old told me "No I don't like this one. I do a bit like trains..."
I have a nearly 2 year old. I feel your pain "
Thomas and Peppa and a living room full of toys..... Sound familiar? |
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Although hilarious (imo) the last couple of pranks I've done on my son have ended up in tears. I'm soon forgiven and he gets his own back. felt so bad though... Come to realise that I'm just not that funny! Bad daddy! |
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When my kids were in primary (I'm talking 4-6) and they did "art" some of the bits went to work so I could show it off to my customers .... You know where this was heading right?. I did keep most of the stuff but some of the junk modelling they did and I didn't want to be rude lol.
One of my sons has a name that you don't often see on those tacky things you can buy with names on and I make a pact with myself that if I see on I'll always buy it (I found a total of 3 things in 22 years), one of them was a Cadbury bar, the thing is he was in uni when I got it and we didn't see that much of each other for a couple of years...well the chocolate was going out of date and he hates Cadbury chocolate so I did the only thing possible, I ate the bar but kept the sleeve. I gave it to him last Christmas! |
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