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Cats are the biggest dicks on the planet
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Discuss?
My cats (that I got dumped with)
Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.
Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.
Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.
Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.
Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.
Fight dogs 3x the size of them.
Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.
Poop in your left trainer - just because.
Drag mice into your house - then release them.
Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).
Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.
Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Discuss?
My cats (that I got dumped with)
Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.
Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.
Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.
Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.
Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.
Fight dogs 3x the size of them.
Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.
Poop in your left trainer - just because.
Drag mice into your house - then release them.
Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).
Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.
Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors
"
But you wouldn't be without them! |
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"Discuss?
My cats (that I got dumped with)
Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.
Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.
Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.
Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.
Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.
Fight dogs 3x the size of them.
Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.
Poop in your left trainer - just because.
Drag mice into your house - then release them.
Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).
Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.
Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors
But you wouldn't be without them!"
No, no read it again!... Cats that I got dumped with 
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One of our cats, his favourite achievement in life is blocking the other cats from getting where they want to go. He will stand guard at the top or bottom of the stairs, blocking the other 2.
On the flip side, one of the other cats kills rats on a regular basis |
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Bath my cats are awesome.
One is a specialist in insect control. Lives a diet of spider and fly.
The other one is a total  rat and mouse assassin. I know if he’s had one because all he leaves behind is the stomach. He eats the rest.  |
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Sleeps in laundry basket, on TV unit shelf or in the sage plant in garden (he has 5 beds)
Brought his mates around to sing me the song of his people, at 3am, until I fed all 3 of them.
Ignores the fresh water in his bowl, drinks rainwater from neighbours pond
Tries to eat the salt lamp. |
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"Sleeps in laundry basket, on TV unit shelf or in the sage plant in garden (he has 5 beds)
Brought his mates around to sing me the song of his people, at 3am, until I fed all 3 of them.
Ignores the fresh water in his bowl, drinks rainwater from neighbours pond
Tries to eat the salt lamp."
Total Legend!  |
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