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How do you know??
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit  .
How do you make that decision and take the leap 
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person  |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
Go for it Midnight. You will not disappointed (and the will be bewitched) |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
really c'mon woman meet him . |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
Of they don't like you in person, don't worry about it. You never have to see them again |
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By *4bimMan 29 weeks ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
one of them things isnt it.
had it happen before, didnt get angry even though i travelled nearly an hour to get there. we had been chatting for months. even webcammed, it all looked good yet when i got there she said i was too short for her.
like i said, could of got angry because she clearly didnt read my profile details.
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
"
Sent from iphon |
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With me I feel the conversation evolves from plausibility to possibility — she no longer says "if we meet..." but "when we meet.." in our ongoing discussions about everything and anything.
I will usually ask if they are amenable to meeting for a coffee. A quick coffee can either make or break the opportunity in taking things further. If we don't like each then we part company and go our separate ways.
There's no need to protract such things, although the temptation is there to just keep chatting without even making that leap of faith to meet in case you don't like each other...and the desire to keep chatting remains. |
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
"
For you or for him ? |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
Then you say I’ve had a really nice time socially but that’s where it ends 
Do it. What have you got to lose? |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
For you or for him ?"
For me, he can do one. |
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
For you or for him ?
For me, he can do one."
Ha |
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“So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...”
This is arrange a social time for me…
What if they don’t like me in person? Then I slip them the number of a really good psychiatrist before I move on with my day/week/life  |
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Ha, wish I knew the answer to this one OP.
Part of me says sod it, it’s a stranger, nothing to lose by being forward, part says if they were that keen they’d suggest it so they’re obviously not feeling it and save yourself the embarrassment.
We need some sort of better process in place for navigating this stuff 
But because this is about you, I’m going to say be brave and do it and have fun! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person "
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag  |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag "
really meet me I need all the sympathy I can get . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
Go for it Midnight. You will not disappointed (and the will be bewitched)"
That's the go-get-'em attitude i need to get |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person really c'mon woman meet him ."
It's really fricking overwhelming jumping into the deep end! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"It's a chance you take. It's not a signed contract. Anyone can walk away if it's/they're not what you wanted/expected.
I'm a sooner the better kinda lass, hate wasting mine or their time"
I have to be honest. I didn't even think about doing a social |
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I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If you reckon you may fancy them online, you take a chance and meet socially. Without expectations. "
It's at their house.. Maybe I'm being too reckless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in
"
Shit, now I need to get rum too |
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"It's a chance you take. It's not a signed contract. Anyone can walk away if it's/they're not what you wanted/expected.
I'm a sooner the better kinda lass, hate wasting mine or their time
I have to be honest. I didn't even think about doing a social "
Just see how you get on to start with then in a public place. And if there’s chemistry go for it and if there isn’t don’t. Don’t feel bad for there not being. Ever x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
Of they don't like you in person, don't worry about it. You never have to see them again"
Well that is very true! Block delete, move on!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"one of them things isnt it.
had it happen before, didnt get angry even though i travelled nearly an hour to get there. we had been chatting for months. even webcammed, it all looked good yet when i got there she said i was too short for her.
like i said, could of got angry because she clearly didnt read my profile details.
"
Shit i didn't even look at their height |
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"one of them things isnt it.
had it happen before, didnt get angry even though i travelled nearly an hour to get there. we had been chatting for months. even webcammed, it all looked good yet when i got there she said i was too short for her.
like i said, could of got angry because she clearly didnt read my profile details.
Shit i didn't even look at their height "
Sit down for your social |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If I can imagine having sex with them and I don't screw my face up, I'm good to go.
I don't do separate socials, time is precious and I know I'd move on to someone else in the time it took to arrange an actual meet.
If they don't like me in person? I kinda always expect they won't, but that's when rum comes in.
Sent from iphon"
OmFg.. What if i get k*dnapped (nanna-napped at my age |
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"If you reckon you may fancy them online, you take a chance and meet socially. Without expectations.
It's at their house.. Maybe I'm being too reckless "
Consider your own safety.
And don't do sympathy shags because you think you should be into them if you're not. Either make an excuse or just politely tell them that chemistry isn't quite there and make your exit if that's the way it feels |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"You're already putting too much pressure on the situation
Meet for a drink and chill a bit"
Totally.... Hmm maybe a drink in a pub close to their house and then part ways if i don't like them... How much do you need to like someone to fuck them as a one off though |
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"It's a chance you take. It's not a signed contract. Anyone can walk away if it's/they're not what you wanted/expected.
I'm a sooner the better kinda lass, hate wasting mine or their time
I have to be honest. I didn't even think about doing a social
Just see how you get on to start with then in a public place. And if there’s chemistry go for it and if there isn’t don’t. Don’t feel bad for there not being. Ever x"
This and no sympathy shags. I'd feel fucking awful if someone gave me a sympathy shag. I'd possibly cry then you'd feel worse. Then that would make me feel worse everyone is crying and shit. No no no.
Fancy them: Fuck them into tomorrow.
Don't: Ta t'ra |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If the conversation flows over chat, they’re not pushy/trying to turn it to sex and there’s a mutual physical attraction - there’s nothing to lose from arranging a social. "
Apart from their isn't much time - I'll just be visiting their area for a few days |
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By *ez669Man 29 weeks ago
East Kilbride |
Think you are maybe overcomplicated the situation and may just be nerves
Had i been getting on with someone on here and the pics where all recent. If i met them and had a few set backs my thinking would be ahh well we are here now lets just go through with the sex and see how it goes after that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"With me I feel the conversation evolves from plausibility to possibility — she no longer says "if we meet..." but "when we meet.." in our ongoing discussions about everything and anything.
I will usually ask if they are amenable to meeting for a coffee. A quick coffee can either make or break the opportunity in taking things further. If we don't like each then we part company and go our separate ways.
There's no need to protract such things, although the temptation is there to just keep chatting without even making that leap of faith to meet in case you don't like each other...and the desire to keep chatting remains."
I'm a people pleaser.. I just don't think I have it in me to do it.. Plus I'm sub I'll never get out
... Ooooo I could have a strategic call - "midnight there's an emergency, we need you back in the office, the building is on fire" , type of call. .. Genius!! |
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Advice from a guy.
Alright 
Be safe.
Take it for what it is (he'll be feeling the same if not more anxious)
Don't be pressured.
Be yourself (we can see when someone is uncomfortable and awkward)
Don't put any expectation on it, and manage his accordingly to how you feel.
You'll be fine. Go for it. What have you got to lose? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
Then you say I’ve had a really nice time socially but that’s where it ends
Do it. What have you got to lose? "
The theory of that sentence is brilliant..... The reality likely impossible for me to do |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
Go to a very public place, if possible tell a friend where you are going and for how long, ask the friend to call you every so often. Tell the guy this will happen and why. If he's decent he will understand and be happy, if not he's an idiot and time to leave.
Say absolutely nothing will happen on the first social meet (you can always change your mind) it's just a couple of drinks in a pub with a friend.
Tell him you won't decide on another meet until next day but will always contact them if its a no then something like "lovely to meet you last night, I had a nice time but won't be taking it any further"
Have a plan how to get home, be it a friend collecting you, taxi, bus.
I wouldn't get them to take you home in their car or taxi.
It all seem a bit draconian but you have to be very safety first on first meets and most decent guys will totally understand, if they get the hump, best give them a wide berth.
Have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet."
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If the chat is good, it's felt right on the phone we will usually hang out. If there's some chemistry it will come to the surface."
Oh I've not made it to the phone yet  just fab messages... Shit. Now i need to get some chat for 2 strangers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"“So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...”
This is arrange a social time for me…
What if they don’t like me in person? Then I slip them the number of a really good psychiatrist before I move on with my day/week/life "
What if time is short!? One night only short?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"Ha, wish I knew the answer to this one OP.
Part of me says sod it, it’s a stranger, nothing to lose by being forward, part says if they were that keen they’d suggest it so they’re obviously not feeling it and save yourself the embarrassment.
We need some sort of better process in place for navigating this stuff
But because this is about you, I’m going to say be brave and do it and have fun!"
Oh god its so confusing |
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If the chat is fire and everything looks good then you need to meet.
Unless you’ve been chatting for a long time and you felt completely comfortable then if I was a single guy, I’d be offering to meet you away from my house first, to ensure both of you feel safe and comfortable.
K
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I think arranging a quick in person social meet would be the next step for me at that point.
Can never know if there's chemistry in person until you try it."
Hmmm i only have one evening.. Well maybe two, but i think I'd find it hard to do a social one night with the expectation of a meet the next night |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag really meet me I need all the sympathy I can get ."
See I'm a sucker for anything like that.. Especially puppy dog eyes! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!"
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe .. |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person really c'mon woman meet him .
It's really fricking overwhelming jumping into the deep end! "
you can swim can't you ? |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag really meet me I need all the sympathy I can get .
See I'm a sucker for anything like that.. Especially puppy dog eyes! "
hey I've got puppy dog eyes and a wet tongue . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I go for a social early on, I need that in person experience to form an attraction so via online it won't go far without the meet & endless conversation isn't for me."
I quite like the initial chat - if it goes on too long I friend zone them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"It's a chance you take. It's not a signed contract. Anyone can walk away if it's/they're not what you wanted/expected.
I'm a sooner the better kinda lass, hate wasting mine or their time
I have to be honest. I didn't even think about doing a social
Just see how you get on to start with then in a public place. And if there’s chemistry go for it and if there isn’t don’t. Don’t feel bad for there not being. Ever x"
Ok - like a pub maybe?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"one of them things isnt it.
had it happen before, didnt get angry even though i travelled nearly an hour to get there. we had been chatting for months. even webcammed, it all looked good yet when i got there she said i was too short for her.
like i said, could of got angry because she clearly didnt read my profile details.
Shit i didn't even look at their height
Sit down for your social "
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe .. "
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If you reckon you may fancy them online, you take a chance and meet socially. Without expectations.
It's at their house.. Maybe I'm being too reckless
Consider your own safety.
And don't do sympathy shags because you think you should be into them if you're not. Either make an excuse or just politely tell them that chemistry isn't quite there and make your exit if that's the way it feels "
Thank you - i will actually write that down and have a moment in the loo maybe and take a breath |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe ..
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses "
I'd do what LB suggests, she has these things down to a T now!
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By *lueLotusWoman 29 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram?? "
This is a good idea! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"It's a chance you take. It's not a signed contract. Anyone can walk away if it's/they're not what you wanted/expected.
I'm a sooner the better kinda lass, hate wasting mine or their time
I have to be honest. I didn't even think about doing a social
Just see how you get on to start with then in a public place. And if there’s chemistry go for it and if there isn’t don’t. Don’t feel bad for there not being. Ever x
This and no sympathy shags. I'd feel fucking awful if someone gave me a sympathy shag. I'd possibly cry then you'd feel worse. Then that would make me feel worse everyone is crying and shit. No no no.
Fancy them: Fuck them into tomorrow.
Don't: Ta t'ra"
Wow you guys are so direct! |
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe ..
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses
I'd do what LB suggests, she has these things down to a T now!
"
Thank you Boo. I am an experienced dater… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"Think you are maybe overcomplicated the situation and may just be nerves
Had i been getting on with someone on here and the pics where all recent. If i met them and had a few set backs my thinking would be ahh well we are here now lets just go through with the sex and see how it goes after that "
So you're saying go through with the evening even if it feels off?! |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag "
I'm totally with you on the sympathy shag...its why I absolutely insist on a social and am clear on no sex. If I feel an obligation and they are nice but not for me I'm just not capable of being the one to say no |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"Advice from a guy.
Alright
Be safe.
Take it for what it is (he'll be feeling the same if not more anxious)
Don't be pressured.
Be yourself (we can see when someone is uncomfortable and awkward)
Don't put any expectation on it, and manage his accordingly to how you feel.
You'll be fine. Go for it. What have you got to lose?"
It's a couple so all of that is doubled! |
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"Advice from a guy.
Alright
Be safe.
Take it for what it is (he'll be feeling the same if not more anxious)
Don't be pressured.
Be yourself (we can see when someone is uncomfortable and awkward)
Don't put any expectation on it, and manage his accordingly to how you feel.
You'll be fine. Go for it. What have you got to lose?
It's a couple so all of that is doubled! "
Right you need to switch to DM…
Shit just got real |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
Go to a very public place, if possible tell a friend where you are going and for how long, ask the friend to call you every so often. Tell the guy this will happen and why. If he's decent he will understand and be happy, if not he's an idiot and time to leave.
Say absolutely nothing will happen on the first social meet (you can always change your mind) it's just a couple of drinks in a pub with a friend.
Tell him you won't decide on another meet until next day but will always contact them if its a no then something like "lovely to meet you last night, I had a nice time but won't be taking it any further"
Have a plan how to get home, be it a friend collecting you, taxi, bus.
I wouldn't get them to take you home in their car or taxi.
It all seem a bit draconian but you have to be very safety first on first meets and most decent guys will totally understand, if they get the hump, best give them a wide berth.
Have fun. "
Oh gosh, see this is why i never get meets arranged |
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"“So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...”
This is arrange a social time for me…
What if they don’t like me in person? Then I slip them the number of a really good psychiatrist before I move on with my day/week/life
What if time is short!? One night only short?? "
Meet for a drink or 2 - this is where non alcoholic comes into its own.
If you feel heat - make that night count.
If you don’t - say thank you for a lovely evening and get a taxi/in your car and leave.
Sympathy shags will make you both feel worse. It’s not honest & a bit insulting to him. And will make you feel shittier than just being honest.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If the chat is fire and everything looks good then you need to meet.
Unless you’ve been chatting for a long time and you felt completely comfortable then if I was a single guy, I’d be offering to meet you away from my house first, to ensure both of you feel safe and comfortable.
K
"
It's a couple, in theory it's the female I've been chatting with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person really c'mon woman meet him .
It's really fricking overwhelming jumping into the deep end! you can swim can't you ?"
Only breast stroke |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram?? "
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag really meet me I need all the sympathy I can get .
See I'm a sucker for anything like that.. Especially puppy dog eyes! hey I've got puppy dog eyes and a wet tongue ."
Fuck me.. I'm gonna have to UNLOS |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe ..
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses "
Oh this is very good |
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"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
"
I can imagine you doing that |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
|
"I'd do what LB suggests, she has these things down to a T now!
Thank you Boo. I am an experienced dater… "
From now on, we'll all be coming to you with our dating dilemmas LB |
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"I'd do what LB suggests, she has these things down to a T now!
Thank you Boo. I am an experienced dater…
From now on, we'll all be coming to you with our dating dilemmas LB "
Always happy to help |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I don’t get all this over thinking. If the signs are good then roll the dice and see what happens. Worse case scenario is that it doesn’t work out - strangely, that is rare. Best case/normal scenario it works out well.
Stop over thinking!!!!
Oh i haven't even started overthinking yet
Maybe I should flip a coin - heads I'll go, tails I'll wash my hair.. Oh shit - best of three maybe ..
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses
I'd do what LB suggests, she has these things down to a T now!
"
I might let her go in my place... She'll definitely be a better fuck!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
This is a good idea! "
Thank you... Hopefully they have telegram |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag
I'm totally with you on the sympathy shag...its why I absolutely insist on a social and am clear on no sex. If I feel an obligation and they are nice but not for me I'm just not capable of being the one to say no "
Oh thank god I'm not the only one!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"Advice from a guy.
Alright
Be safe.
Take it for what it is (he'll be feeling the same if not more anxious)
Don't be pressured.
Be yourself (we can see when someone is uncomfortable and awkward)
Don't put any expectation on it, and manage his accordingly to how you feel.
You'll be fine. Go for it. What have you got to lose?
It's a couple so all of that is doubled!
Right you need to switch to DM…
Shit just got real "
Oh shit fuck it, that's it, calling it off |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
I don't know! I took The Leap last week, it worked out VERY well. But I was inwardly bricking it. What if they were put off with my inability to move around easily? What if they hated the sight of what was beneath my clothes? What if they decided to go home?
It was ALLLLLLLLLLL good though 
And it might well all be good again quite soon
I think you just have to take the plunge. |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I go early for a social only...I just can't judge chemistry unless its in person
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag
I'm totally with you on the sympathy shag...its why I absolutely insist on a social and am clear on no sex. If I feel an obligation and they are nice but not for me I'm just not capable of being the one to say no
Oh thank god I'm not the only one!! "
Definitely not  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"“So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...”
This is arrange a social time for me…
What if they don’t like me in person? Then I slip them the number of a really good psychiatrist before I move on with my day/week/life
What if time is short!? One night only short??
Meet for a drink or 2 - this is where non alcoholic comes into its own.
If you feel heat - make that night count.
If you don’t - say thank you for a lovely evening and get a taxi/in your car and leave.
Sympathy shags will make you both feel worse. It’s not honest & a bit insulting to him. And will make you feel shittier than just being honest.
"
Well I definitely won't be drinking! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
"
My mind is boggling - do i need to learn your trick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it"
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts! |
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"I reckon she's going to fuck them.
Well either i will... Or i won't!  "
Ooft I like that very self-empowered. 
I hope it goes perfectly for you and you have an absolute blast. You do realise you are going to have to report back now? You've got the whole forum excited for you. |
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"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts! "
I'd rather you didn't. Your hair colour exudes radiance |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
|
"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I don't know! I took The Leap last week, it worked out VERY well. But I was inwardly bricking it. What if they were put off with my inability to move around easily? What if they hated the sight of what was beneath my clothes? What if they decided to go home?
It was ALLLLLLLLLLL good though
And it might well all be good again quite soon
I think you just have to take the plunge. "
Really... That is good to hear.. Its very daunting! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"I reckon she's going to fuck them.
Well either i will... Or i won't!
Ooft I like that very self-empowered.
I hope it goes perfectly for you and you have an absolute blast. You do realise you are going to have to report back now? You've got the whole forum excited for you. "
Thank you... I've got a week to melt down |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts!
I'd rather you didn't. Your hair colour exudes radiance "
Thank you.. Maybe i should just swish it about as a distraction technique  |
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"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts!
I'd rather you didn't. Your hair colour exudes radiance
Thank you.. Maybe i should just swish it about as a distraction technique "
I love it when my social meets play with their hair. To me, it shows they're comfortable and relaxed in my company |
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By *aizyWoman 29 weeks ago
west midlands |
"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts! "
Don't do that Midnight, everyone gets nervous, you'll be fine I know you will. Make sure you let us all know how it went! |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person
I don't know! I took The Leap last week, it worked out VERY well. But I was inwardly bricking it. What if they were put off with my inability to move around easily? What if they hated the sight of what was beneath my clothes? What if they decided to go home?
It was ALLLLLLLLLLL good though
And it might well all be good again quite soon
I think you just have to take the plunge.
Really... That is good to hear.. Its very daunting! "
It was after a LOT of socialising and chatting and trust building. Meeting on my own is especially daunting......
My judgment was 100% right though. |
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"Have a phone call.
I think that would stress me more - what would we talk about "
Flippin heck midnight, you're worse than coyote, it's a wonder that any of you supposedly grown women have ever seen a penis.
Relax, believe in yourself and have a drink with whoever. If he's even average smart he will lead the way to keep you interested.
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
|
"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
My mind is boggling - do i need to learn your trick "
Not unless you want to risk looking ridiculous when you do meet the person after the video call.
That would bring about another thing to worry over x |
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By *ez669Man 29 weeks ago
East Kilbride |
"Think you are maybe overcomplicated the situation and may just be nerves
Had i been getting on with someone on here and the pics where all recent. If i met them and had a few set backs my thinking would be ahh well we are here now lets just go through with the sex and see how it goes after that
So you're saying go through with the evening even if it feels off?! "
Ok that was maybe reckless advice as your a female on your own
From your original post it comes across as just nerves as i cant see it looking off at this stage. If it does then simply dont go through with it
I guess there is no harm in meeting in a public place to see how they react in person, if you see flags walk away, let a friend know where you are going and get them to check in with you at a set time
Also im sure i seen its at his place, if your not comfortable with that tell him you want a hotel meet |
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"I go for a social early on, I need that in person experience to form an attraction so via online it won't go far without the meet & endless conversation isn't for me.
I quite like the initial chat - if it goes on too long I friend zone them "
Same, I'm a serial friend zoner!!
Go to a pub/coffee house nearby if all is good go back, if not make your excuses and leave, have a friend as a back up emergency call who'll ring if you text.
Good luck  |
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"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
My mind is boggling - do i need to learn your trick
Not unless you want to risk looking ridiculous when you do meet the person after the video call.
That would bring about another thing to worry over x "
I think I've had one or two people run those little experiments when we've met. |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
Oh and to the last question, I could have stayed where I'd planned alone, if things hadn't turned out well. I would have been sad, but it was plan B. |
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I feel I get a pretty good indication within the first few messages back and forth.
Sounds a bit quick but really my radar has rarely been off.
I think with the chats you either feel the draw or you don't because of the back and forth.
If at the actual meet they don't like me well then fuck it what have I actually lost.
I've never had a meet where I didn't feel the attraction that was build up via text/chats follow through..
If the other person ever did they didn't tell me and I didn't pick up on it |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
|
"In the past I've always had a facetime chat with them before arranging a physical social meet. If the conversation flows easily and we're able to laugh too, then I know we're going to click when we meet.
This might be a good idea!! I could do it on telegram??
Yes, that’s why I do it. I also do something extremely ridiculous and over the top during the video chat, if it distracts them and renders them unable to keep a conversation, I wouldn’t go through with meeting them.
My mind is boggling - do i need to learn your trick
Not unless you want to risk looking ridiculous when you do meet the person after the video call.
That would bring about another thing to worry over x
I think I've had one or two people run those little experiments when we've met. "
What did they do? |
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"If most of your replies aren't just for effect, then honestly...maybe just give meeting a miss until you're a bit more cut out for it
Well i might as well just delete my profile based on that! We're not all uber confident extroverts! "
I'm not an uber confident extrovert |
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By *nnCeeWoman 29 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
As others have said, I would never do a first meet at a private address. There are just too many odd people about.
See if you can chat on Telegram, if not, then meet for a coffee first.
If they're genuine, they won't take offence to this at all.
Hope everything works out for you though.
If you need someone to be your back up phone call, if you need an out, drop me a pm, happy to be that caller x |
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I'm not really into long conversations if it's a view just for sex, I'd rather get a social out the way early doors, I think I judge people better in person and online I'm very different to real life, so would rather they know I'm a bit weird early lol x |
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
I always have a social first. I can't deal with that pressure. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"
Hmm i don't know if I'll be there long enough for a social... Also I'll feel dead awkward saying thanks but no thanks I'd 100% have to do a sympathy shag "
No sympathy shag, you walk away.
But I'm thinking if the chats been going well, and you like each other, meet for a social and have fun. If you hit it off, it won't be a case of a sympathy shag, there'll be fireworks. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"If you reckon you may fancy them online, you take a chance and meet socially. Without expectations.
It's at their house.. Maybe I'm being too reckless
Consider your own safety.
And don't do sympathy shags because you think you should be into them if you're not. Either make an excuse or just politely tell them that chemistry isn't quite there and make your exit if that's the way it feels "
 what Prey says is good advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"
Midnight darling… said in my best Domme voice (I’m channelling)
Arrange to meet said person in a pub close to them.
See if you get on for a couple of hours.
If you do go and fuck like rabbits all night.
If you don’t have the chemistry… say thank you I had a lovely evening and go home or wherever you’re staying.
Please don’t meet anyone in a non-public place for your first meet up.
Sending kisses "
Midnight, listen to your Auntie LB, these are wise words (and I hope you get on, and then have the most sensational sex) |
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"If the chat is fire and everything looks good then you need to meet.
Unless you’ve been chatting for a long time and you felt completely comfortable then if I was a single guy, I’d be offering to meet you away from my house first, to ensure both of you feel safe and comfortable.
K
It's a couple, in theory it's the female I've been chatting with "
And that was confirmed by what method?
Oh did they put their initial at the end to show who it’s from?
K
C
K
C
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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I’ve been lucky for the less than a handful of meets I’ve had, the individuals were all lovely, and On none of those meets did it progress to anything else.
Luckily I’m not really anyone’s type, I don’t fit a demographic, and most-especially after they’ve met me.
I’m a bit wierd, far too quirky, I was born a misery, so any fleeting moments of interest are very rapidly replaced by scrolling for Ubers and mates to rescue them. I think it’s when I mention my Worm & Ant farms!
The boundaries and expectations I set in advance are all about establishing good rapport and connection. I’m extremely lucky somehow I’ve done that and been friend zoned fairly quickly and as a result made some nice friends.
Be setting clear boundaries and adhering to them. Only break your rules on the exception. Be authentic.
I’ve finally been able to have lost all my joy on my journey here, as I have realised I have to do more self work, self improvement, and be clearer on the intent of my boundaries.
I have learned that need to take pictures of my penis and distribute them in DM’s, I have to have a penis worth taking photos of, so I need to pump it up and lie a little, I need a high vis jacket, and take some pictures of me hanging off the back end of someone, and cut to the chase, rather than being polite & gentlemanly; ‘Wanna meet now’?
i’m not for this place and will shortly be leaving.
But, in all seriousness; I hope you find your mojo, and just relax. |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"So you've got good chat going on... they think you are hot, you think they are hot...
.... You've declared all your deal breakers and experience and you're not blocked yet.
They can meet when you want to meet, where you want to meet ... They've got good veries..
.... When do you know enough to commit .
How do you make that decision and take the leap
What happens if you rock up and they don't like you in person "
It’s just the vibe I think. You know. We vary wildly between over cautious and ‘fuck it what’s the worst that can happen?’
We’ve had the not getting the vibe on the night too and just made our excuses. |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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When you know, you know. Some things are just worth it. I wouldn’t try something I didn’t want to do, and happy times and happy people are rare to me and have been for a while. So when I know I’d love to meet someone and we’d probably have a blast, I go for it.
And if they didn’t like me?….well I didn’t like them even more!!!! *throws coffee cup across he room. |
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